A few days ago, a friend of mine complained to the lazy mom that when I was pregnant, my mother-in-law had agreed to help me with the baby after it was born. However, when my child was born, my mother-in-law immediately changed her mind and said that in order for us to have fewer conflicts in the future, I will give you the money to finance, you are planning to be a full-time mother for a few years, or to hire a nanny, you decide for yourself, anyway, I can't give you the effort to take care of the child. My friend said angrily, you say, please nanny I certainly do not feel at ease, this is not forcing me to give up work, as a full-time mother? I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to get out of this, but I'm sure I'll be able to get out of it," he said.
Hey, it's another one of those things where the mother-in-law can't contribute because of the kids. Although we often say that the mother-in-law to help bring up the child is the love, not the original, the mother-in-law to raise their own son has been very difficult, as a daughter-in-law can not expect the mother-in-law for the grandchildren and then do something.
But the reality is that the first few years after giving birth to a child is the most difficult time for young couples, if the mother-in-law has a heart, or should reach out to help a hand, so that the young nature of the gratitude in the heart, and later, when they are old, there is also a guarantee. And life when the daughter-in-law has a child, most of the mothers-in-law will help, some money, some contribute, and even many mothers-in-law both money, and contribute. No matter which kind of mother-in-law is, such a mother-in-law has a heart and deserves the young couple's gratitude, but the mother-in-law who chooses to contribute money or labor has a different mind behind it. After the birth of a child your mother-in-law out of money or out of effort, behind the mind is very different, treasure mom can be clear.
Choose to pay the mother-in-law wants to reduce the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Lazy mom I am more fortunate to meet a very sensible mother-in-law, after Kiki, mother-in-law not only to help me take care of the child, but also in all aspects of the succor us, the two of us usually do not have any contradiction. Listen to the mother-in-law said, they used to dance with them in the square dance of an aunt, originally said that when her daughter-in-law gave birth to a child to help bring up the child, but around many sisters said, you bring up the child, not as good as to give money to the daughter-in-law so that she can bring up their own at home, the two of you usually have a lot of points of view do not deal with the place, if together to take care of the child will be more contradictions, and then your mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship will be even more difficult to be good. Later, this aunt really only for the daughter-in-law money, I heard that now the two get along quite well, her daughter-in-law also often praise the mother-in-law sensible.
Many only willing to pay for the mother-in-law is not not want to give the daughter-in-law, because they know very well, once to help take care of the child, and the daughter-in-law of the contradiction between the two will certainly be a lot of disconnect between the two will become deeper and deeper, affecting the harmony of the whole family. It's better to pay yourself, not only to help the young people to solve the urgent problem, and the two can not interfere with each other, live their own lives, greatly reducing the contradiction, is also a good thing.
Choose to contribute to the mother-in-law want to save some money for their own old age, and so old not to increase the burden on their children
Many can only choose to contribute to the mother-in-law, may not be very good economic conditions, their hands have no savings, the heart is not enough, can only help with the children, so that young people can go out to work to earn money. There is also a kind of mother-in-law will think, the young couple work so well, if the child to give up work is too bad, I can contribute to the child, save their own pension money, two children earn enough money to spend their own, I have money in my hands, and so the old will not give the child to add a burden.
In fact, the lazy mom thinks that in reality most of the mothers-in-law are out of money and out of effort, as a young man can not be too picky, and can not be too greedy, holding an understanding of the mentality of gratitude it.
After the birth of the child, your mother-in-law is the money or effort?