1, the big brother and mother machine marriage gave birth to a small smart phone, small smart face hate, the signal is very poor, and can not roam, can not send each other text messages, heartbroken, after DNA testing, only to find that its father is not big brother, is a walkie-talkie.
2, you are brighter than the stars in the sky, you are more fragrant than the flowers on the ground, you sing, hell will become heaven, you dance, the universe will be crazy about it! God calls you heavenly shit!
3, buddy, I see a company is recruiting, easy work, good treatment, and is still a world-renowned enterprises, so I helped you sign up, you go to the interview, the recruitment company is McDonald's, the position is the toilet cleaner!
4, ring the story around, looked back, the crowd looking for you a thousand degrees! I'm not going to be able to do that! You are in the deepest part of the pigsty, holding a pipe and leaning against a tree! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that! I'm not going to be able to do that!
5. Baby, you are the sun in my heart, the moon in front of me, the fragrance of the flowers under my nose, the breeze beside my ears, the clouds above my head, and the clear water behind me, but I accidentally stepped on you - grasshopper Xiaoqiang!
6. Look at you like a warrior, look at you like a jazz suit, and then listen to you talk elegantly to determine that you are a doctor, ask to know is a hippie.
7. Holding your hand is like holding a dog; touching your head is like touching a monkey; hugging your waist is like hugging a cat.
8. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, busy hatching chicks all day long. The chick has a problem with his mind, he doesn't eat or drink and doesn't rest. The rooster and the hen look at the chick, and the stupid chick doesn't pay attention to it, and is secretly looking at the cell phone.
9, you look like a pig from afar, close look like a tiger, take a closer look at the original is a rat; you look like a rabbit, look like a deer, the middle look at the original is a fox; you look cool left, look right is very rich, look at the original very earth, you are the indigenous people of China.
10, it is said that a while ago you confessed to a woman, was scolded: you count which root onion ah! She is really too unappreciative, only I know you are different from others. Because your ideal is to bloom onion flowers, and then counterfeit daffodils!
11, I teach you how to treat a man correctly, he has money to help him spend, no money to avoid him, pengda follow him, disillusioned when he abandoned him, despondent when he struck him, desperate to leave him, suicidal when he helped him, when he was old to torture him.
12, you're as light as the wind, you're as gentle as water, you're as hazy as fog, you're as romantic as the moon, you're as passionate as the sun, you're as forgiving as the sea, in a word: you don't have a place to be like a human being!
13, rather than sacrificing sleep, the top of the cold wind, to see a bland sunrise, more like to casually pass by when encountering a sunset, and stand alone and stare at it for a long time.
14, today saw you let me good heartache, you thin, so haggard. I can't bear to let myself shed tears, but still please take good care of your health! Now pork is so expensive, you grow more a catty is a catty ah!
15, you're cool, you're cool, you drink water in the reservoir, sleep in the tomb, mouth flow waterfalls, limbs like pillows, you when you are 貂禅吕布, in fact, you are the Antarctic indigenous.
16, the first time I saw you! Love you so much! You also noticed me, you smiled brightly, and kept waving to me, I couldn't help but hug you! Lovely beckoning cat!
17, the search for pigs: I lost a purebred white pig. Characteristics: intelligent, understanding, with a cell phone and access to text messages, love pigs read the message, speed to the master back to the message! The master is now good to think of you!
18, money is a double-edged sword, can buy a house but can not buy a home; can buy a marriage but can not buy love; can buy a clock but can not buy time. Now, give me all your money and let me bear the pain alone!
19, just a gust of wind is fine, but it is so eternal, just a dream is fine, but it is so real, you bowed your head, I can hardly calm down, I finally can't help but to say to you,: next time when you fart, please say it first!
20, recently always think of you, I know that this is not good, but I can not control themselves, not to tell you the words in my heart I will regret a lifetime, no matter how you decide, I have to drum up the courage to ask you: what is that two cents back to me?
21, you have the face of an angel, the devil's body, even your fart posture are so beautiful. But in public, control the rhythm, okay?
22, in our friendship journey sometimes you can not see me beside you, not I forget you more than let you walk alone, is that I chose to walk behind you, when you accidentally fell I ran up ....... I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that!
23, your child called face, my child called ***. Face later lost in the street, five years later you to my home lamented: if my face lost, now also have you *** so big! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that!
24, starting tomorrow, the city decided to remove all the ugly and detrimental to the city's appearance of mentally retarded youth! You quickly pack up things out of the wind, do not say that I informed you, remember!
25, there are two words have always wanted to tell you, today finally got up the courage to say to you, the first sentence: love you really love you really love you hello love you really love love love love love you to death; the second sentence: do not take the first sentence seriously, okay?
26, how to treat men correctly: he has money to help him spend; no money to avoid him; Tengda followed him; disillusioned when he abandoned him; despondent when he struck him; despair when he left him; suicide to help him; old age when he tortured him!
27, you are still so charming, wearing a plaid undershirt, walking leisurely, a super self-centered, lovely look, I really do not know how you were racing rabbits?
28, looking for people: this person's genes a little ET, character a little BT, weight up to MT, long engaged in IT, work often OT, once did a brain CT, found that there is TNT inside! You are the favorite of my life pursuit. Without you my life is meaningless. When I was poor. You are gone. Come back! Lovely RMB.
30, I'm happy because you're happy, I'm happy because you're happy, I'm sad because you're thin, I'm laughing because you're strong, I'm rich because I sold you, alas, it's hard to raise a pig!
31, summer, more mosquitoes, live to catch the mosquitoes that bite you how to deal with? Suggest that you take good care of, raise adults, education, find a good partner, give birth to a fat doll, responsible for the end, who asked him to flow in your blood!
32, free tonight? I invite you to go to a good place, come to me quickly, or no land. Oh yeah, don't forget to bring toilet paper!
33, want you to think of can't; wear clothes have no modeling; with whom also not whole out of feelings; go where is not popular; think of the problem can not catch up with Lenin; the heart is fine also steal stop; get pneumonia is not typical!
34, the kangaroo said to the monkey: I can put the phone in the bag, while you can only hang on the ***. The monkey replied: in fact, I'm used to hanging on the neck!
35, you are already in our surveillance range, do not look left and right! You now only have to put the phone on the ground, and then go forward, can not turn back!
36, flowers bloomed, because spring is here; the earth is on fire, because the summer is here; falling leaves scattered, because the fall is here; snowflakes fluttered, because the winter is here, and the pigs laughed, because my text message came.
37, I heard that you are in love with a very good hand, a lot of beautiful women are fascinated by your romance, your means is simply more classic than the Oscar's movie, if the film is made into a movie, it is simply alive and well a "Beauty and the Beast"!
38, I love you at least two centuries, dear I lied to you at most two centuries, you this deadbeat.
39, cloudless sky, streams flow; roadside grasses swinging in the wind, flowers more delicate; listening to the sounds of nature, the mood is so wonderful. But everything is spoiled by you. The next time you fart, please choose a good time!
40, a matchmaker with a woman blind date, a handsome man from afar. I'm not sure if I can do it. The woman answered: He is willing? A: He saw you at a glance. After the marriage to see the male one eye, gas asked the matchmaker, A: I said he saw you at a glance!
41, received this message is pink doodle pig. Delete this message is the African piglet. Reply to this message is a wild boar forest boar. Not replying is a Rwandan pig. Store is Ukrainian large white pig. Forwarding is a local small dumb pig. Hey ` see what you do?
42, the day I went to Beidaihe saw you, really, I also can not believe my eyes, you stood in the azure sea, I took a small stick to poke you, hey, this little bastard, the shell is quite hard!
43. Last night I dreamed that you were singing! Your song was sweet, and your sentimental expression touched me, and I almost swore to love you for 10,000 years, but I didn't dare, because you were singing to a donkey: when I grow up I'll be you!
44, recently, the martial arts chaos, the Department of Dragon Slaying Sword reappeared in the rivers and lakes, blood flow, martial arts warriors running around, want to seek Your Excellency's face made into a treasure shield to save the people in the fire!
45, you go! Find a worthy of your love to love it ... I do not know enough about you and your feelings, I know that some things can not be forced some distance can not cross, like yesterday I really can not believe that in order to a bone you went with someone
46, one day, I went to the cafeteria with my classmates to eat, due to too many people, we decided to pack to go back to eat, and then squeezed into the point of view, my friend! She is to pack bean sprouts, who's she called into: Auntie, I want to burst teeth!
47, I'm sorry! I want to no longer pay attention to you in the future, no longer bother you, no longer let you invite me to dinner, because the doctor told me not to get close to sweet things, and you are the sweetest one in my life ...... haha, every day happy ah!
48, you are 10 foot philanderer, often with 9 for fun, 8 may not have a family of billions of dollars, long abandoned 7, all day 6 da, looking for prey, 5 need to ask more, and 4 sex does not change, but also 3 heart 2 intention, you 1 certainly not a good person.
49, your loneliness, I will dispel; your worries, I will dispel; your worries, I will share; your dreams, I help to realize. It's not too late to be moved, so hurry up and fulfill your duty: lay eggs well!
50, know why I like you? Doll face fun phase, panda body naive phase, beckoning ears good fortune phase, walk swaying funny phase, viewing exhibitions you the most suitable phase.
51, buddy, recently mixed well! Last time I heard that you participated in the municipal party committee meeting, the mayor also met with you personally. I heard that he came to you with affection, smiling, patting you on the shoulder politely: you, out!
52, rare rare rare really rare, found the intention to cast da spring green, spring green mind problem, do not eat, do not drink and do not rest, to ask where the spring green, is burying his head to read the news!
53, I'm sad when I will talk to a fool, I'm happy when I will share with a fool, I'm traveling with a fool as a companion. Want to know who that fool is? That person is looking at the text message.
54, no your day, not blue; no your day, upset; no your life, really difficult; can really have you, really sweet; my dearest, heart liver. Don't be beautiful, it's not you, it's the paycheck.
55, you are 10 foot philanderer, and often with 9 for fun, 8 may not be home with hundreds of millions of dollars, long years of abandonment of 7 ignore, all day 6 da, looking for prey, 5 need to ask more, and 4 sex does not change, but also 3 heart 2 intention, you 1 must not be a good person.
56, you love to clean and mop the floor every day, you have a wonderful figure, you are blushing and silent, you are a world of fairy Shu alone, you work hard without any pettiness, you will be a good story, lovely mop!
57, you are working again! I said more than once to you do not work so hard, pay attention to the body, but you are always meaning to say: not while the days are warm and more rolling a few balls of shit, what do I eat in the winter?
58, are you lonely, if so, then you go downstairs to buy a rope and a stick, the rope tied to the stick, in the wind to go to the roof of the swinging stick, other people want to ask you what to do? You'll say: I'm pumping it.
59, the stomach is big, neck thin, short, hair less, teeth yellow, thighs short, muscle less, in addition to these, you are 100% handsome.
60, His Excellency's fart, shocked the sky and earth, so high building collapsed into a flat ground, so thick steel pipe collapsed into such a fine, it is a good stinking fart of the last ten thousand years!
61, this period of time, I have always wanted to say three words to you, but I am afraid to say even ordinary friends can not do, but I can not control, or want to say: borrow some money!
62, the beauty of learning is to make people confused; the beauty of poetry is to incite men and women to derailment; the beauty of women is to be stupid without complaint; the beauty of men is to lie and say that the day of the devil.
63, transfer notice: we have transferred 200,000 yuan into your account as required, please confirm within 2 seconds, otherwise the transfer is void.
64, you have to pay attention to their own image in the future, is already an adult, do not always with the previous like. Drink less wine, last night and someone saw you with a glass of wine chasing a pig, but also shouted: are you a brother? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that!
65, God knows that you are thirsty, created water; God knows that you are hungry, created rice; God knows that you do not have a lovely friend, so created me; however, God also knows that there is no benign egg in the world, by the way, created you.
66, Dear users: your phone bill is less than 0, 1 yuan, please in the next few days: sell your children, sell your daughter, sell your rice, sell some blood, sell your land, sell your house, sell your wife, to pay your phone bill, thank you for your cooperation!
67, the monk, hello! We are monks, when you receive this message, we have deducted from your cell phone bill 50 yuan donation, in order to thank you, the temple awarded you the supreme legal name: retarded.
68, without your days, I can love myself well! Without my days, you can slowly torture yourself!
69, remember? That time you went to participate in the singing competition, four judges down three, but fortunately there is a referee on stage excitedly shook your hand and said: talent ah! Other people singing is to money, you sing is to life ah!
70, a first-class woman, home domination; second-class women, quarrel at home; third-class women, beaten at home; fourth-class women, gas suicide.
71, have countless friends, only you in the depths of my heart, looking back, you are in the light of the fence, eating grass, next to the tree. The head is wrapped in a foot-wiping cloth. The donkey also dares to pretend to be cool!
72, youth unlimited good, no you too boring, the network on the millions, you come to him on the run, half of the night people sleepless, confidant is too difficult to find, flowers under the infatuation, there you are enough!
73, it is said that the meteor has a request! If you can, I would like to wait under the starry sky, wait for a star to be touched by me, for me to cut through the silent night sky, and then let it carry my blessings, fell on your sleeping pillow - smashed you!
74, meet you is my destiny, really. Silk is your mask to confuse the crowd, alone to achieve your mysterious temperament. I looked at you dumbfounded to me, and then, heard you deep shout: want money or want life?
75, I wish you a smooth journey, halfway missing; I wish you a smile often open, laugh at the death of the living; I wish you every day happy, two leg cramps; I wish you everything is good, everywhere.
76, smoking countless, drink to straight vomit. The car hit the tree, the dance floor slow step. All thought you cool, in fact, see the beauty, you can not walk step.
77, you have high blood pressure, high blood fat, position is not high. The General Assembly did not speak, the meeting did not speak, the prostate gland inflammation. Political performance is not outstanding, performance is not outstanding, lumbar disc herniation.
78, someone saw you today, you are still as charming, wearing a plaid undershirt, walking slowly on the street, I really do not know how you were racing rabbits.
79, think you are often things, read you are daily things, dream you are night and day things, love you is a lifetime of things, and lie to you, lie to you is just things.
80, I hate myself, really, single know all day to let you accompany me, but never let you eat a full meal. Every time I see your thin and shriveled body, my heart is always sour, my poor ...... wallet!
81, when I read the text messages you sent me, I finally understand that you use in my feelings are so much! So sincere! So engraved in the heart! You can't get over me! So I decided: shut down the phone to kill you!
82, buddy want to be an official? I guarantee that you go out to do things police car open road, three meals a day on time to send, sleep at night with a mobile sentry, the police send you a pair of handcuffs.
83, Saturday we two go on a date, okay? Please agree to my sincere request! Because I really want to go to the beach with you to stroll, to listen to the sound of the sea, I will take you to climb the highest stone on the seashore then ...... kick you down!
84, want my heart I give you; you want me of course will not not give you; impossible you want me not to give you; you say do not want me bias to you! We must be reasonable, I do not care about you who cares about you I love you.
85, if there is no starlight in the sky from now on, I will hold your hand in the darkness; if the end of the world is coming, even if there is no way out, I want you to snuggle up to me - you're so good, flashlight!
86, want to send you clothes, you are not in good shape; want to send you liquor, your daughter-in-law nagging; want to send you candy, your blood sugar rises; want to send you RMB, I myself and not generous; can only send you a text message, but unfortunately, you do not have a high culture to read!
87, I heard on the way to work met a big black pig, passers-by out of bananas, cakes, etc., the black pig is not allowed to Road, then you took out your ID card, the black pig quickly flashed to the side and said: Boss, you can find you! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a new one, and you'll be able to do that!