? This was my second night drive, 10 yards faster than before, and the time home was much shorter. Hands and feet seemed much looser too, not as sore as before. ?
I remember the first time I drove around the county alone last year, I didn't dare to drive on the side streets, and took a big detour to get home. The first time I saw a car, I had to restart it, and the more urgently the horn behind me urged me to, the more times I stalled the car. The traffic light flashed a back and forth, the back of the people in a hurry to swear, I just drove a car a pumping vibration left.
After getting out of the car, sweaty palms, weak feet shaking, a burst of fear, and since then a long time are afraid to drive. Now, in order to regulate his own life, but also to take care of his mother's mild depression, intends to come back every week with two living treasure to disturb her old man's quiet life.
? Originally thought, her old man's health is not very good, let her alone in the countryside to play cards, square dancing, and neighbors to take a walk, relaxed, do not let her suffer, is filial piety. Last year to check, only to find out suffered from coronary heart disease and mild depression, like to think about East and West.
Every week, I'm busy working at work, and I'm busy taking care of my kids after work, so I really don't have much time to pay attention to my mother's mental health in the past few years. Sometimes I call my sister and I, we are also busy, often talk less than a minute to hang up.
? Sometimes she nagged a few sentences, although it is for our good, but listening to make us feel bad, bad mood we let her not say. Because in the countryside, we are trying to relax, if you come back, but also to add to their own blockage, it would be better not to come.
Perhaps it is because there was no effective communication, she can not rest assured that we, a person who sleeps alone at night, like to think, over time, suffered from depression!
I thought not to bother, not hard on their parents is filial piety, only to realize that my parents in order to accommodate me and my sister, look at us to hold the family life hard, the two Lang are not much care for the family, and are more lazy. When I think about the fact that they made the marriage happen, I can't tell you how guilty I feel. I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been worrying at home, and I've been suffering from depression.
In the last few years, my father has been away from home again, earning a living and preparing to earn enough for his own retirement. The mother is even more lonely.
Learning of such a condition, as a child, I only feel deep guilt, a kind of woman's inability and powerlessness came to my mind, let me tearful.
Seeing my mother's aging, dark face, hair can not hide the white hair. Thinking of my father, still in some construction site full of dust, this moment, I realized that I have lived this life so useless, bitter and difficult to bear.
? Thirty years old, although from childhood I was not good at talking, after becoming a family with children, go to work bitter, many times I chose to silently bear, not to complain let them worry. But their eyes are too bright, their minds are too delicate, and they love their daughters too much.
Although I complained that the teacher's salary is too low, just two children's tuition fees, enough to drink a pot. And what savings to support their parents, so I do not have the courage to say to my father, "Dad, you do not go to the construction site to work, I give you old age."
The harsh environment of the construction site, although worried, but can only hide this worry deep. I think these years, parents for our sisters to study, uprooted from the countryside, trekking, around and around a lot of places in the site. From Hunan to Hubei, from Hubei to Shanghai, from Shanghai to Tianjin. How much suffering on the road, I do not know, but from the pair of rough, cracked, bruised hands, you can know the tip of the iceberg.
It is not easy for us to read out, each participated in the work, in order for us to have a good home, the future back to the mother's family decent, around the coincidence of the demolition of the stormy home, built the present this bright and shiny small cottage.
? These seven years, I am busy in their own small home, parents running around in the repayment of debt. In the past, we spent all the money on us, so we still have to rely on our own old age to run around the old age, fortunately, when I borrowed money to let my mother buy a social security. In contrast, I feel that I am in vain as a teacher, in terms of honoring filial piety, I have done far from enough.
? Outside, others say I am an excellent people's teachers, is a good daughter-in-law, a box of good wife, a good mother. But I am the only most sorry is to my heart and lungs of the parents, they gave me all I can give, and I often inadvertently ignored them. It's just because they're busy, busy, busy!
Having chosen a career of poverty, I can't afford to buy expensive things for my parents in terms of money. What I can do now is to come back every week, warm their lonely heart; New Year's festivals, buy some gifts, give some money, so that she is not too shabby in the neighborhood; usually, the family lacks something, buy some things over the paste; in the street shopping, occasionally to buy some clothes for their parents, to please them.
Life in the world, how short it is. The first time I saw this, I was in the middle of my first year, and my parents were close to the end of their lives, so while they're alive, I'm going to be like them when they grow up with me, and I'm going to be with them when they grow old.
Busy is not an excuse, it is the law of survival of our generation. The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money!
Teachers around me, one after another check out the disease; last year three relatives, one after another died. Suddenly, I realized that it is good to be alive and healthy!
I put down the heart of the fight for fame and fortune, do not go to that variety of competitions to fight to go busy, do not go to that a variety of certificates to do this and that, exhausted just for that dozen or two decades to assess the senior title of the quota of busy, miss the side of the people worried about me, ignoring the children's education. There is indeed a need for me to consider accepting the task to complete.
? At this moment I want to do: peace of mind teaching, waiting for the flowers to bloom; family peace, health, accompany the children to grow up happily, accompany the elderly slowly grow old, accompany the husband hand in hand to old age.
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