Who wouldn't want to have a fully blossomed, 360-degree life?
Who wouldn't want to have a fully blossomed, 360-degree life? In addition to paying attention to her WeChat blog, I read her new book, "A Guide to a Better Life.
Since it is a full blossom of a good life, then there will be a comprehensive framework concept to unify the whole book, that is, "the wheel of life"!
In a popular leadership class at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, each student is asked to do a "Wheel of Life" exercise, in which he or she scores his or her satisfaction with the most important propositions in his or her life: work, finances, mission, relationships, parenting, health, and so on, the propositions that you feel are important in your life. The scale can be: job, finance, mission, relationship, parent-child relationship, health, etc. The scale is 0-10, with 10 being the most satisfied and 0 being extremely dissatisfied. The higher the score in an area the closer it is to the outer circle, and the lower the score the closer it is to the origin. Finally these scores are connected to give a full view of the shape of your life wheel.
Each of us has a life wheel inside of us, containing our core values, the things we value and care about most. As a person who considers himself somewhat of a framework thinker, I was first introduced to the concept of the wheel of life, and before that, I had really never thought holistically about what kind of life I wanted. I've gone from the early days of being young and uninvolved and going with the flow, to the current bottlenecks and inability to break through, with perhaps some self-paralyzing mentality thrown in for good measure.
Why do I feel that my life has not been the way I wanted it to be for so many years, when I have never looked at my own life cycle from a holistic perspective?
These are the reasons why I have been working so hard for so many years.
1, first think about the current stage of life, what is the most important proposition for you, pick out, try not to exceed eight. For example, some common life propositions:
(1) Social relationships ? Career, money management, volunteering
(2) Intimate Relationships ? Parents, partners, parents and children, close friends, etc.
(3) Self-relationships ? Mission, self-growth
(4) Other ? Health, recreation, socialization, travel
These propositions change with our stage of life.
The Wheel of Life propositions I picked for myself are:
Work, Self-Growth, Health, Financial, Emotional
2. Evaluate the current stage of the situation: score satisfaction and estimate the amount of money or time spent on each of these propositions;
Sort satisfaction from lowest to highest, and if there are ties, sort time from lowest to highest. is your current ranking of the propositions that need the most improvement.
So my result is the following chart:
3. Observe and analyze your life wheel
Looking at my own life wheel, which is not perfect, even with huge variations, I really have a lot of feelings!
The reason why the scores are not high is because:
Health: I feel that I have a child, I do not know how to allocate the time, and I used to dance every day, but now it is a great difference, I always feel that I do not have much energy every day, but also because of the health of the standards are not met, so it affects the other propositions of the play and functioning;
Finance: the urgent need to learn about financial knowledge, the previous financial management due to ignorance of stepping on the knowledge. Knowledge, the previous financial management due to ignorance stepped on the mine, so into the old and the young in the new stage of life, more feel the importance of the economy.
Emotions: because they are also a new mother, and the growth stage of small children is really very fast, I feel that I as a mother is often on the verge of collapse, and my husband is often in conflict because of the child's concept of child-rearing, asking many over the family, will inevitably appear in such a stage, so because of these internal conflicts, it is easy to affect their mood every day and the rest of the The first thing I'd like to do is to get a good idea of what I'm talking about.
Personal Growth/Mission: What is the mission? It seems to have been a bit far away from myself and I don't know who to help; so let's help myself achieve personal growth first!
Work/Career: Because of my current status as a baby mama, I have never been able to achieve the status I want at work, and there are a lot of factors that affect me. Every job that I like very much will be due to objective environmental reasons, such as the company's poor management, relocation, etc. lead to their own need to go back to choose a new job, and how to find a job that I like and in line with their own personality, I really need to learn.
In terms of scoring, the most important things I need to improve in my life are:
Personal growth - Health - Finance - Work --Emotions
4. Looking forward to the ideal life state
My ideal life state is: with a score of 8 or more for each life proposition, the life wheel will become a free-rolling circle of joy
What will my life look like when I have a satisfied life with a score of 8 or more?
Then I should have a well-paid job, at least a million dollars a year; or have my own company or studio;
I might still be living in Shenzhen, but I also have my own properties in other cities I like, like Lijiang, Guilin, Hangzhou, Bangkok in Thailand, or San Francisco;
I'd be living in a house with my own courtyard or sky garden, with lots and lots of flowers and flowers, and I'd have a house with my own garden, and I'd have a house with my own garden.
I live in a house with my own courtyard or sky garden, where I have lots and lots of flowers and plants, Mu Mu, and a few birds;
I dress in a way that suits my style and personality, sometimes elegantly, sometimes romantically, sometimes elegantly, sometimes casually;
I have a group of my own good friends, and we have regular gatherings at our house every week or every half a month or so, to have dinner together and to have discussions; the children play in the courtyard together; the men drink tea together; and the men have a lot of time for tea, but I don't know what to do with them. play; men drink tea and wine together; ladies read, work out and beautify together.
I have my own books published, and I spend a few hours a day watching stocks, watching the investment market, reading books, and writing articles;
I spend 1-2 hours a day working out, doing yoga, or Oriental Dance;
I am inspired every day by the breeze and the serenity of nature, and my heart is full of peace, gratitude, and happiness!
......
Everyone has a different vision of life, so let your imagination run wild and be as vivid and detailed as possible!
A strong heart is the decisive roller in the wheel of life! Because it is strong, in order to organically link the propositions together to form a complete wheel, without a strong heart, like no backbone, everyone is scattered; and if the heart is not strong enough, then it is like the car's horsepower is not enough, which will lead to the wheel rolled not long, rolled not far.
Uh-huh, this - appearance - is - me - of the -nuclear-heart-question!
Zen Master Tokusho of the Stanford Sino-American Zen Institute said, "If the mind is not fixed, you can't take even the best fate (cognition, way of thinking, methodology, knowledge, etc.); and if the mind is corrected, you can learn the fate from anyone, as much as you want to learn."
And the reason for curbing our inner energy nourishment is our bad cognition:
Of course, the source of this bad cognition is divided into remembering the source event and not remembering the source event of 2 kinds:
Clean up the bad cognition of not remembering the source event, you need to ask for professional psychological guidance;
However, for the clean up of the bad cognition of remembering the source event, it is divided into 4 steps. steps. For example, in my practice:
(1) Look for a long-standing mind confusion: a mind confusion, not a skill-based problem.
The confusion that has been troubling me is that I don't feel confident enough, or even have an inferiority complex, and I don't think I'm as good as other people, so I don't dare to grab my own happiness, or feel that I don't deserve to be loved, or to be better.
(2) Recall the earliest point in time when this confusion appeared
The earliest time when this confusion appeared was when I was a child, and people gave me a nickname in the vernacular because I was very fat.
(3) What is the adverse cognition that arose after the source event
To be honest, at that time, I felt that I should be very ugly, right, I don't have the superiority of other people's families, and my face still has a small scar left by a surgery when I was a child, and really, I was very inferior to myself, right, from the time when I was a child to remember! I feel that I can't compare to others, and I don't deserve a better life.
(4) Distinguish between adverse cognition and the objective event itself
When I separated the objective event from the adverse cognition, I realized that the adverse cognition was not the event itself, it was a random addition by my own brain, and that I was really not "less than others!
That's why it's so important to know a little bit about psychology! I'm not sure if I've ever seen a person with a bad eye, but I'm sure if I've ever seen a person with a bad eye, I've never seen a person with a bad eye! Ok, I've put this on my list of things to do!
Here's a suggestion: in addition to reading more psychology books, you should also keep a daily journal of your successes, so that you can slowly boost your self-confidence.
In the following chapters, I married on love management, career management, looking for mission, financial management, health management, these five dimensions are given specific detailed elaboration and description. In my own actual situation, I unified these 5 dimensions, in the self-growth, my practice guidance is as follows:
(1) love management
Because now and my husband is often because of the childcare problem of disagreement and quarrels, so my solution is: soft to conquer hard! Try to play their own female strengths, femininity, with female energy to infect him, here to do is:
Keep their daily radiant, do not ignore the beauty because of laziness, the more married life, the more they should show their own beauty;
So 2 days of masks, go to bed early and get up early, maintain a healthy diet, and more Oriental dance to increase the female energy, so that you can not only increase their own
(At present, it is difficult to go to bed early and get up early, and I always feel that after putting the children to bed, I still have a lot of things to do, so I don't want to go to bed at night, and I don't want to come back to bed in the morning; I need to strengthen my time management.)
My husband is a bit impatient, so I have to slow down and never follow his rhythm, or I will be easily ignited, and the situation will not be good if we are all angry! This point I am currently still doing well, because their own character is quite gentle, the husband is also sensible people, so this slowly cultivate, will certainly be well integrated!
(2) career management
Because of the problem of the business model of my friend's company, resulting in poor management, and now the company is facing withdrawal; I was invited to the relationship because of my friend, also out of the desire to help him, but at present the ideal is full, the reality is bone dry; I am also facing the situation of looking for a job again. Well! Just a married career management poke my heart, who called the previous I pick work is no goal, no purpose, then this is an opportunity to let yourself a good fine thinking about what kind of work you really want to find it!
The specific method is: all the work-related experience in accordance with the following three points to do analysis:
What aspects of the total work I like?
What did I dislike about the job?
Why did I leave?
By analyzing my past work experience, I found that there are also 4 values that come up again and again, and they are:
a. Autonomy (if I have to listen to someone else's direction for everything, I will have a hard time)
b. Growth (it is important to have a job that can lead to progress, or else a glance at the end of the day will be very hard to bear)
c. Income (if the salary is too low, it will eventually affect the longevity)
d. Income (if the salary is too low, it will eventually affect the longevity) (if the salary is too low, it will eventually affect the longevity)
d. Immersion, expression of thoughts and opinions, communication (I like to express my opinions and thoughts through data, words, charts and all other mediums, and to communicate with others to create a spark of different ideas or to learn different things)
Plus 1 more: work-life balance (since I am a mom now, I need more life-work balance)
Additional 1: Work-life balance (since I am a mom now, I need more life-life balance).
Because of this list, I realized how I like to work, and it was a surprise, but it was a revelation that I cared a lot about whether or not a job was a good way to express myself.
I'm also afraid of jobs where I can't see the end of the road.
So those are my core work values.
Once you know what kind of work you need, how to get your beloved job is another question. What Ichimaru tells us is that a person with a great habit is a talent that every company will compete for!
Which 3 points of excellent habits are needed for us to hone?
* Keep your word?
This is something I promise to do well;
* Strong action: action is the biggest gap between people
This is something I need to improve, sometimes think too much, do too little;
* Stronger thinking: there is time to do things, nothing to complain. More drilling, less complaining.
This is my reality: I don't like to complain much, but my drilling ability is not very strong. Need to improve.
(3) Finding a mission
Because I myself have not found my mission so far, I also need to constantly ask myself the following questions:
* There are a lot of things you can do in the world, which people do you want to help the most?
Because of family reasons, I did not complete formal university education, in fact, in my heart, I would like to help those who have the same confusion as me, missed the higher education; or the same as me, the pursuit of progress, but did not get the law. Because I myself have not yet .
*What's the one thing you do that makes you scrape the bottom of the barrel?
Writing articles, designing charts, reading books
*What is the thing you move yourself the most when you do it?
Writing articles, dancing, designing charts, reading books
*What are the moments when you most move others?
Not really.
*How would you spend the rest of your life without any financial pressure?
Help some poor kids in the mountains and let them study in peace.
*What kind of information do you pay most attention to in your spare time?
Money management, dancing, personal growth.
(4) Financial Management
Because I am now in a stage of life where I have an old man and a young man, learning how to manage money has become an urgent matter. Because of the professional and practical nature of the article is too strong, some of the many knowledge needs to be practiced and digested to share more meaningful, so here just share the theory of the main points:
* Learn to spend money wisely, with today's expenditure to create a better tomorrow;
Meaning: the concept of investment to look at the spending of every penny, as much as possible, to invest in self-investment type of expenditure, not just a purely The first thing you need to do is to make sure that you have a good understanding of what you are doing and how you are doing it.
Practical comparison: this point after a month or two of minimalist life, this point to do quite good!
* 3 rules for saving money: First, don't count how much you can save, but how much you need to save, and learn to use the rest of the money to live a good life;
Second, the sooner you save, the better, even if it's not much, so that the compounding interest can start to snowball as early as possible; and third, the monthly automatic deposits are the most reassuring.
Meaning: first define your financial goals - then figure out the total budget - then figure out how much you want to save each month;
For example, here's my data:
Short-term goals within 3 years:
Replacement of car (budget 150-200k)
Travel abroad (budget 20k*3=60k per year)
Baby's kindergarten expenses (budget 40k*3=120k per year)
Medium-term goals in 3-10 years:
Buying a house,
Children's education
Maternity goals in 10+ years:
Comfortable retirement
Financial freedom
Parents' retirement allowance
* Capital preservation first! Don't blindly pursue high-yield, high-risk investment products; many prudent products may have higher long-term returns.
* The focus of financial management is: diversify, diversify, diversify. Never bet on a single asset to avoid a situation where all your eggs are broken, you should find a suitable asset allocation based on your risk appetite.
* Ordinary people do not try to rely on the selection of individual stocks to run the market or professional investors, the broad index fund can maximize the diversification of individual stocks, industries and even the country's risk.
* The most optimal and easy way to buy and sell stocks is fixed investment plus rebalancing.
*The key to buying or not buying a homeowner's home is to see what risks you are willing to take and what risks you are not willing to take.
*Overseas spending is relatively large friends can replace some U.S. dollar assets to avoid the impact of RMB fluctuations.
*Please be extra careful when encountering high-yield, low-risk investment opportunities.
I've always been a very health-conscious person, but because of the worrying life after becoming a mom, I feel like I have a lot less time for myself, so when a person who used to have to dance and exercise for at least an hour every day becomes someone who has less than a week plus an hour of exercise, my sub-healthy state follows me as a shadow, so I need to change. Again, because of the professional and practical nature of the article is too strong, some of the many knowledge needs to be practiced and digested to share the more meaningful, so here only share its theoretical points:
*When we build a joyful rolling wheel of life, high-quality spiritual life comes naturally.
* A good night's sleep can help us repair our body functions, memory, and emotions in time to meet the challenges of each day in a renewed state.
*Nutrition is not what you eat, but what you absorb. A well-nourished stomach and intestines can provide the body with sufficient nutrients and timely elimination of toxins to strengthen the immune system.
* Pay attention to your dietary intake and make full use of your strong gut to take in healthy nutrients and fuel your body.
*Exercise is the key to staying energized. Find the right exercise for you to reshape your cardio at optimal heart rate levels for an overall boost in energy levels.
Building the Wheel of Life is a long way to go. It is not something that can be accomplished overnight after reading a book or writing an article. We read a book to broaden our horizons and improve our cognition; we write an article to start actively digesting and absorbing it; but without practice and feedback, each of our life wheels won't be half-improved!
I wish each of us a good life wheel with more than 8 points in each proposition!