The first time I heard "love yourself", I learned it from my coach. At first, I felt some chicken soup, but when I consciously felt it again, I would feel inexplicably sad.
I also think of self-blaming scenes such as "I'm not good enough" and "You see, it's all because of me that I embarrass others".
With the deepening of my study, I realized how hard I had been to myself, both physically and psychologically. So I began to learn to let go of myself, and the first thing to let go of myself was to learn to love myself.
So what is love for yourself?
Hosaba once said that self-love is "a state of self-support, which grows by supporting our physical, psychological and spiritual growth". Specifically, loving yourself includes five aspects.
Today, let's talk about the first aspect of loving yourself: meeting your own needs to some extent.
It is normal for people to have desires and needs. Satisfying one's needs within a reasonable range is self-esteem and attention. This can help us establish self-care and get happiness from it.
Moreover, if we can meet some inner needs, such as eating, sleeping, fitness and so on; It is not only the demand generated by external factors, so as to gain social recognition. Other people's expectations, such as "I want to be thin, so I can ...", can we experience a higher sense of happiness and accomplishment.
In my understanding, it is actually to meet our reasonable needs in our daily life.
Give me an example that happened to me recently. One morning, it was time to eat, thinking about cooking. At this time, I smacked my lips and wanted to eat hot pot.
I asked Sister Dan if she wanted to eat hot pot today. She replied, "I don't want to eat. I just ate it the day before yesterday. I will order some noodles later. You can eat it yourself. "
I was a little disappointed to hear this reply. I think it's too much trouble for two people to cook two kinds of meals. Why don't I eat noodles with her?
But when I went to prepare tomato and egg noodles, I was in no mood to cut vegetables. My mind is full of fish tofu, beef balls, mutton rolls and coke, all of which are scenes of eating hot pot.
I subconsciously asked myself, how would you feel if you ate a hot pot today?
The word "comfortable" comes to mind.
So I immediately placed an order with Youxian Daily and arrived home in a short time. Seeing these favorite things makes me feel as happy as a child seeing a toy.
At the same time, I carefully felt the process of preparing food, and my heart was calm and I had some expectations.
Looking at the rising heat in the pot, the rolling beef balls and the sauce I made, I couldn't help but feel my mouth watering. Fortunately, Sister Dan joined in. I tease her from time to time: "Aren't you going to eat?"
She is happy, and her mouth is full of oil and water. At this moment, I can't help thinking that it's a good thing to stick to my inner thoughts and be physically impulsive and not refuse.
I just want to eat hot pot. I listened to the real voice of my body and met this achievable demand. The process of "listening" and "allowing" is "eating well", rather than ignoring your own needs and filling your stomach at will.
I don't know if it's because I'm a boy, or if I developed a casual habit when I was a child, that is, I have no concept or preference for bedding, such as "sheets, quilts and pillows". It's usually so comfortable.
If it weren't for getting married and having a wife to take care of it. I may not even like quilts now, and I will feel too bound and troublesome. Every time the quilt is knotted, I say, I still don't need the quilt. It's comfortable to cover it.
Tomb-Sweeping Day: My mother came to visit and discussed that my mother and my wife would sleep in the house and I would sleep on the sofa to save some money. Mom came all the way, and I wanted to change my bedding and have a good sleep.
So I dried the quilt and changed the quilt, sheets and pillow towel.
After cleaning up in the afternoon, I tried to lie down for a while, but a faint fragrance floated out of the quilt cover, yes, it was the smell of laundry detergent. It was at that moment that I felt that when you carefully arranged the sleeping environment, it would also bring you a kind of joy.
So these instinctive needs from the body are worth spending time and energy to meet. A good sleep is a simple and loving thing.
Once my mother came to see me, and I took her to the Oriental Pearl. The whole process was fun, and then at dinner, we ordered a fish with Chinese sauerkraut, which was a little salty.
As it happens, this shop doesn't provide boiled water, but only drinks. I looked at the drink, which was more than ten yuan more expensive than the outside. I really feel that the price/performance ratio is not high, so I will not buy it.
Out of the mall, I went to buy water and watched my mother drink water desperately. I feel a little uncomfortable, thinking that my mother doesn't come often. Why is it so bad? I feel guilty.
I'll learn to be good this time. Plan the budget for inviting mom to play in advance, and have a general expectation of what to play and eat.
Even if there is something I want to taste temporarily, I will buy it if I want to eat it, because I have a bottom in my heart. It's not like last time, but it makes me feel a little ugly.
In this process, I think it is to spend money as much as possible, not to compare with others, not to waste, and the money to be spent will not be for myself and others, but to be more practical.
In short, the first aspect of loving yourself is to meet your reasonable needs. When this demand comes, don't ignore it, don't complain, feel it, listen to it and try to realize it.
At the same time, there is no need. I will do it myself for the expectation of others. Learn to love yourself before you can love others.