Recently, Cecilia Han gave an English speech entitled "Be a positive pessimist" at Suzhou International Expo Center, that is, be a positive pessimist. The central idea is probably, for what we want to do, don't be constrained by all kinds of worries, we will do it, be prepared for failure, but go all out.
This speech seems to have pierced the window paper that has been lingering in my mind, and some vague concepts gradually became clear.
0 1. Love and a tree.
Loving Chinese seems to be the label of most girls. I am no exception. I have the cheek to evaluate myself as one of the best.
When I was studying, all these were reflected in my outstanding achievements in Chinese, winning several essay competitions, and my heartfelt joy when I came into contact with words. That sense of acquisition almost made me addicted. When I was in college, I passed my writing major and became a woman living in a medical ocean.
As soon as I entered the doctor, I was as deep as the sea, and my writing was a stranger. Like a naive child who lost candy, I just stared at it and didn't even make a sound to keep it.
20 12, I graduated, it's time to find a job. It was embarrassing. According to my joke, employers recruit people, first choose boys from graduate students, then girls from graduate students, then boys from undergraduates, and finally girls from undergraduates. Even before that, they had to choose their height. I pinched my fingers and figured it out that I was at the bottom of the selection and my future was very bleak.
By March of the year of graduation, I had not settled down, but only vaguely established the idea of full-time postgraduate entrance examination. At that time, the news of the unified entrance examination for civil servants in the province came. I signed up with the mentality of trying, and the registration time is only 1 month away from the examination time.
I still insist on practicing in the hospital this month, and use my spare time to review the relevant contents of the administrative ability test. But the application is so extensive that I have no time and energy to review. I simply gave up and planned to let nature take its course in the examination room.
I didn't expect the results to be very satisfactory, especially the application. In this way, I found a job smoothly. When I was most confused, the sapling buried because of love had stretched out its branches and began to support my future life. Like a god from the sky, it soothes my anxious heart.
Those days and nights of hard work and heartfelt love, those youthful years that were once considered abandoned, are shining in its unique way. It is dormant in your mind, and one day, it will bloom red flowers for your previous efforts.
02. Stick to one dance.
Unlike many girls, I didn't pay attention to my appearance when I was a student. At that time, I was too confident and firmly believed that I had poetry and talent. In the mid-1920s, there was an extreme view that appearance would affect inner judgment, which was a distracting view.
Of course, the reality often proves that the real schoolmaster, the darling of God, can be met but not sought.
With the growth of years, I gradually understand that the beauty of appearance does not conflict with the richness of heart.
After graduating from college, like many girls, I started the road of fitness, weight loss and shaping. I have participated in almost all the courses offered in the gym, such as yoga, pilates, aerobics and folk dance, which can be said to be very good. Unfortunately, I have not been able to achieve the obvious effect I expected, and I feel dejected.
At the end of another year, there will be a large-scale cultural performance in the system, and young girls will be invited to participate in group dance. Thinking that I have been tone deaf and my limbs are uncoordinated, I can only bite the bullet. I never thought about it, but I was taken in by the teacher who taught dance and became the lead dancer.
The program was very successful, and a dance shocked the audience. I'm surprised.
It is a pleasant experience to be appreciated and praised in one's own weakness. Even though I was dubbed by my colleagues as flying out of a fat swallow, it never reduced my joy.
What changed all this? It is closely related to the sweat and persistence in the gym in the past three years.
It turns out that everything has changed quietly since you worked hard and persisted. She just waits quietly, waiting for the moment when the flowers bloom.
03. Trouble and the vast sky
As mentioned above, I have entered the civil service, but the busyness of this team has already exceeded my imagination, especially the grassroots civil servants. "White+black" and "5+2" are almost normal jobs, and things are complicated and trivial. What I can't accept most is the lack of sense of accomplishment and gain in my work. All this forces me to keep thinking, constantly examine myself, and I am confused about where the future lies.
But I am so stubborn, even if the wilderness is overgrown with weeds, I will open a road for myself, and I will fight for a vast sky no matter how long the road is blocked.
Over the years, even though I am busy with my work, I have not given up groping for progress. Learning is my greatest spiritual food. Through hard work, I obtained the qualification certificate of medical practitioner, became an on-the-job graduate student, and took the final exam of 20 17. It is true that some of these attempts have achieved staged victories, and some are still on the road, even on the road forever, but what I have gained is only known to me.
20 18, with my previous footprints and inner expectations, I will persist in reading, writing, practicing calligraphy, keeping fit and learning English with my mind.
Go ahead and get everything ready.
I believe that even if I can never reach the finish line, even if I am always on the road and always in a corner, I will not fail you. My time will suddenly look back with a smile on my lips.