How to establish intimate relationship? In the initial stage of understanding, both sides hope to eliminate strangeness as soon as possible, shorten their emotional distance and establish a harmonious relationship. Therefore, constantly and closely strengthening the relationship between the two sides is the guarantee of the stability of interpersonal relationships. So how do you build intimate relationships?
How to establish intimate relationship 1 1, and cultivate * * * the same hobbies: connecting with each other is a bridge to establish intimate relationship, and finding * * * the same hobbies will make two people have more intersections and recognize each other in their hearts. You and I are of the same kind. Many hobbies, fitness, reading, singing, eating, playing games and so on.
2. Self-disclosure: Have you found that the closer you are, the more you can show your weakness and pain in front of others. Proper disclosure of your heart and weakness can form a tacit understanding between two people. I know what you're thinking. We are closer than ordinary people. In the ordinary interpersonal communication process, the courage to express their own ideas and exchange real feelings will also narrow the distance between them.
3. Expression: It is the easiest way to make people laugh and the easiest and most comfortable way to get along, so try to chat with positive and humorous words. Many times, joking and using good expressions can greatly promote the relationship. Look at the following conversation, "Oh, my God, our barbecue lunch fell into the sea". What would you say? A: "Oh, what did you do? I just bought lunch, so I stopped eating it. (turning to leave) "B:" God, how could you be so careless? It doesn't matter. I'll buy another one. " Captain: "honey, you didn't burn your hand, did you?" You can't eat barbecue now. " d； "You didn't burn yourself, did you, dear? You must be very sad. I think maybe Poseidon heard it was delicious and wanted to try spaghetti on the boat. " The above four reactions correspond to negative destructiveness (neither taking care of emotions nor trying to solve them), negative constructiveness, positive unconstructiveness and positive constructiveness respectively. Another way to respond is to respond humorously, "Honey, we must have killed a lot of passing fish". Positive and intimate relationships are usually expressed in a positive, constructive and humorous way. In addition, praise and affirmation should be used more. For example, when a husband comes home and sees his wife painting the wall, he will answer, "Honey, are you tired?"? I didn't expect you to draw so well. Great (so smart). Come and have a drink and something to eat, and I'll take care of the rest. " In fact, my wife's brush may not be uniform, but if you appreciate it, you will find advantages and encourage her to support and help, which is not good. Looking at problems with appreciation, positive humor, praise and affirmation can promote each other's growth and maturity, and can also establish a long-term stable and intimate relationship.
What factors are related to establishing intimate relationships?
1, Life Mission: If you want to establish close relationship with others, you must first know your own needs in this respect and hope to maintain good close relationship with people around you. Without such needs and missions, we would not unconsciously express our concern for the people around us. Recently, the copy of mother's day in Hangzhou subway station has attracted a lot of people's attention. One of them says, "I hope you can be the role model you want in the future, so I choose to be an example for you first." This is the mission of a great mother to her children. And each of us should have our own mission. My mission is to establish good and friendly interpersonal relationships with people around me, and help, trust and be intimate with relatives, friends and lovers.
2. Trust: If you want to establish a close relationship with others, I think a big reason is trust in each other, which is the * * * relationship between people mentioned above. Because I trust you, I am willing to confide in you, to communicate with you, to dedicate my time to you, and to blend with you. Trust is largely related to whether you really think of others. It is empathy listening, you consider each other's feelings, you know how to respect and understand each other, your sincerity and humility, and your personality charm.
3. Skills: In fact, there are certain skills and methods to establish close relationships with people. Some people are naturally familiar with each other, and some people can get in touch with others as soon as they meet. People who don't have these characteristics might as well learn their methods and skills. When you use it, you will find that intimate relationships are not as obstacles as you think. For example, for two people who meet for the first time, open-ended questions are a quick way to start a conversation. Try touching the body surface, shaking hands, hugging, high-fiving, shoulder to shoulder, etc. Let go of your psychological precautions and try these simple tips.
How to establish intimate relationships and cultivate common interests?
My new hobby: doing yoga with my wife ~
Go to your favorite place together ~
Everyone is unique and has special interests and preferences. Even couples or couples have different interests and hobbies. What shall we do? Cultivate it slowly ~
Two people in an intimate relationship must have an intersection. If the intersection of two people is getting less and less (manifested as less and less words and less and less knowing what to do together), the relationship will be red. Only when two people have an intersection can they have a common topic to talk about and a common interest to do. And * * * with hobbies is a very important part of communication.
There is no distinction between high and low hobbies. The only thing worth noting is that two people must like it both. You can do yoga happily together, play table tennis with sweat, look for your beloved cartoon dolls or car models all over the street together, travel all over the country together, enjoy different customs, be crazy about a star, share your reading comprehension, talk about philosophy, and even make a pair of happy foodies. When it comes to food, there are endless topics ... whatever your hobby is, as long as you like it.
Cultivating hobbies can enhance mutual understanding, let you explore the world together and explore things you are interested in, so that your hearts will be closer and your intimate relationship will continue to develop.
Think about it, how happy and lucky it is to wake up at the weekend and find that the ta next to you will do something happy and join in with yourself ~
2. Cultivate positive and humorous communication methods.
Sad lunch: I had a barbecue on the boat and the tableware fell into the sea. I think I must have killed a lot of passing fish ~
"Oh my god, our barbecue lunch fell into the sea! ! "
"Honey, I think we must have killed a lot of passing fish ~"
Every time I see such a dialogue, I am particularly moved and appreciate my husband's humor. There are four modes of communication and interaction with the other half in daily life. Let's take a look at her husband's other responses:
A: "Oh, what did you do? I just bought lunch, so I won't eat it! ! (Turn away) "
B: "God, how could you be so careless? It doesn't matter. I'll buy another one ~ "
Captain: "honey, you didn't burn your hand, did you?" You can't eat barbecue now ~ "
D: "It's not burning, is it, dear? You must be very sad. I thought maybe Poseidon wanted us to try spaghetti on the boat. I hear it's delicious. Do you want to try? "
The above four types correspond to negative destructive type (neither caring for emotions nor trying to solve problems), negative constructive type (not caring for emotions but trying to solve problems), positive non-constructive type (caring for emotions but not providing solutions) and positive constructive type (caring for emotions and providing solutions). I think the humorous response is better than any of the above. I think many years later, my wife may not remember what she ate on the boat that day and who she met, but she must remember the passing fish that almost died. Which one do you like best?
What I want to tell you is that these five ways of interaction exist in every intimate relationship, but the proportion of each is different. The positive development of intimate relationship is bound to be dominated by positive construction and humorous response. The status of two people is different, and the way of interactive response is different. All five ways are needed. Don't say that I must only respond in a positive and constructive way, otherwise you will be painfully entangled unless you are a god. Each interaction method has advantages and disadvantages, which will be analyzed in detail later.
3. Take care of each other: you can share joys and sorrows.
When you are sad and lonely, I will accompany you ~
It's so cold recently that we both caught a cold ~
In the life of ordinary people, there are sweet, dull and painful days. Two people can be happy together, or they can live together quietly, but when the intimate relationship is facing difficulties and bumps, many people choose to end a relationship and leave separately.
I still remember the plot in Pursuit of Happyness: When the whole family was facing economic crisis because of business bankruptcy, the wife persisted for a while and then ran away from home. I didn't mean to criticize my wife. Everyone has the freedom to make their own choices. It's just that if she can persist with her husband and try to face the difficulties, they should be able to get out of the predicament more quickly and their relationship will be further improved, instead of becoming strangers in the end.
Think of the time when my wife accompanied me through the difficulties after I failed in the second-round exam for postgraduate entrance examination. This painful but unforgettable time is another high stone to enhance our relationship.
There is a good saying, it is called a friend in need. When you are in need, you will know more about ta, know more about ta's character and know more about ta's true feelings. I often joke that it is good to go through some hardships during the love period before marriage.
You can't forget those important days.
Our anniversary ~
"It's almost my birthday" (wife falls asleep)
Research shows that human beings (especially women) attach great importance to and care about important days (birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc.). ) It has something to do with them. Even China people who are not very good at expressing their feelings attach equal importance to it.
I remember once my parents had a conflict and I mediated in the middle (who told me to study psychology? God, when I asked my dad when they got married, my dad couldn't remember clearly. I thought to myself, "What bad luck, Dad, my mother is so normal with you that I can't remember such an important day."
Actually, I don't remember where it is. Just a few dates, mainly because I don't care. Many people think, "Hey, the old couple got married …". You know, people's emotional needs will not disappear with age.
For example, birthdays, anniversaries and other important festivals must be remembered, which is an excellent moment to express love and cherish. Think about it. Ta paid special attention to your birthday and carefully prepared a gift. Do you think you are happy? The key is not to give expensive gifts such as diamonds and gold watches, but only small gifts that you can, or even no gifts. The key is to let the other half feel your treasure and care about ta. There is a simple reason. People are group animals, and need to contact others to form relationships, especially intimate relationships.
You don't care at ordinary times, and you don't pay attention to key days. Are you just waiting for the other half to come after you? (Men and women are the same, men just don't say)
5. Be good at discovering and cultivating each other's advantages
My wife wears ski goggles to cut onions (cute and witty)
His wife always has something new: she used to be a little expert in painting.
Let me first describe the scenes in the above two pictures.
Above: My husband pushed the door and came in to buy something. When he saw his wife who cut onions, she said, "Wow, wife, you are so smart ~ Did I go into the sea world by mistake and see a lovely mermaid cutting onions? It must smell like the sea ~"
Below: The husband looks at the little painter and says, "Honey, are you tired? I didn't expect you to draw so well. Great! You brush the bottom and brush the top, come and have a coke and eat something, and leave the rest to me ~ "
Both pictures show the husband's praise and affirmation to his wife. It may be the first time that my wife cut onions, or it may be the first time that she painted her home. Even if she cuts slowly and draws unevenly, her husband should appreciate, encourage, support and help her, so that they will get better and better and probably develop into their own advantages.
Sometimes the advantages are really boasted. Imagine if the husband saw that his wife didn't paint well and said to him, "Stop painting. I will do this technical work in the future. Brushing is not good. " How depressed is my wife? Will she dare to try something she hasn't done but wants to do in the future?
Therefore, always learn to look at our other half with appreciation, regardless of the efficiency and success or failure of doing things, you will find that your other half is actually excellent and can do many things, which is also one of the best ways to promote each other's growth and mental maturity.
How to establish intimate relationship 3 1 Close the distance through the relationship between relatives and fellow villagers.
Because the intimate relationship between relatives and fellow villagers will give people a warm feeling, it is easy for both sides to establish trust. Especially, I was surprised to learn that the stranger in front of me had a certain relationship with me. Therefore, if you know that you have this kind of relationship with the other party, you might as well say it directly after greeting, which will easily narrow the distance between them and make people feel at home. At present, in many universities, there are some organizations, such as fellow villagers' associations and fraternity associations, which bring students from the same place together and organize them through the relationship of fellow villagers. At the same time, through the association of fellow villagers, we can help each other, contact feelings and strengthen exchanges. Psychologically speaking, everyone has a kind of "exclusiveness" in his subconscious, but he often unconsciously shows more interest and enthusiasm for things related to himself. So point out this relationship in the conversation and let the other person realize that they are actually "intimate". In this way, no matter whether the other person's position is above or below you, it can better form an atmosphere of frank conversation and break through the psychological "defense line" caused by strangeness when meeting for the first time.
2. Strengthen feelings by thanking others.
A classmate's first sentence when he came into contact with senior students was: "You help me make the bed at the beginning of school." "Really?" The classmate said in surprise. Then the topic of the two people opened, and the atmosphere immediately warmed up a lot. That senior classmate really helped many of us, but he can't remember many people and things at the beginning of school. My classmate just pointed out these, which gave the other party a great surprise and brought the relationship closer. Generally speaking, everyone is happy that he has unconsciously given great help to others. If we can seize the opportunity to meet, it will undoubtedly arouse the great interest of the other party. So, when you meet someone who has helped you for the first time, you might as well tell them in person. On the one hand, you thanked each other, on the other hand, you deepened their feelings invisibly.
3. Talk about each other's looks.
Everyone cares more or less about their appearance, and it is a good way to start proper communication from appearance. A sociable friend skillfully leads the topic to the appearance of a new friend who doesn't like to talk. "You are too much like one of my cousins. I almost took you for him just now. You are both tall, with white faces and calm expression ... The clothes you wear are too similar, the dark blue suit ... I really can't tell you apart. " "Really?" The new friend's eyes sparkled with surprise. Of course, their chatterboxes are all open. We have to admire the flexibility of this friend's conversation. He mentioned each other and his cousin together, which virtually narrowed the distance between them, and then skillfully praised each other when describing each other's looks, thus making this quiet new friend move and willing to talk to him.
4. Analyze each other's names to arouse their interest.
A name is not only a code name, but also a symbol of a person to a great extent. It's good enough to say each other's names the first time we meet. If we properly analyze each other's names, it is by going up a flight of stairs. For example, a friend named "Jianling" can praise with homonym: "A strategically important building, downstream, can be invincible, invincible and far-reaching!" For a friend named "Xisheng", you can sing a song "Sneaking into the night with the wind, moistening things silently". Or analyze his name in the tone of a fortune teller, which leads to great wealth and promising future, not bad. In short, it is a good way to praise each other around their own names.