Yi Chen Du Yue
20 19-04-29, creator of high-quality emotional field
Some time ago, several girlfriends met and went out to play. I saw their circle of friends on the second day of my return trip. Xiao Rui said, "Beautiful travel, feeling the freshness of nature in silence", accompanied by some photos of flowers and plants and photos of her standing on the top of the mountain overlooking the distance. Xinxin said, "I was hungry, caught in the rain, got cramps when I walked, and my car broke down halfway. It was an unlucky trip." The picture is a very sad black and white back.
The same journey, different feelings. To be fair, I think this trip is good. Although there are a few episodes along the way, the shortcomings cannot be covered up. Because the destination Caolianling is an undeveloped place, the commercial facilities are not perfect, and it is inconvenient to eat, drink and have fun. You can only buy things at the foot of the mountain. Due to the lack of experience in outdoor activities, we brought a little less food and water and were hungry. However, due to the few artificial traces and the well-preserved natural ecology, we have seen many scenery that we can't see in the city at ordinary times.
I didn't expect Xinxin's experience to be so bad. Following Xinxin's circle of friends, I found that Xinxin had so many unhappy things. The manual work assigned by the kindergarten teacher is too difficult to do; Going out shopping, the shopping guide in the mall is not happy; Complain about residential property; Beauty salon products are not easy to use ... it seems that life is full of troubles anytime and anywhere.
Life is like a trip. I remember that at the beginning, just after graduating from college, when a group of our classmates were overwhelmed by job hunting and exam interviews all day, Xinxin and Dawei fell in love at first sight. David is not only infatuated with Xinxin, but also handsome, and his family's economic conditions are quite rich. His parents run a wholesale company of agricultural and sideline products and have a wide network of contacts.
When they got married, the young couple's wedding room was in the best location in Qujiang and they had their own car. Xinxin was not in trouble and was hired by a leisure agency. The double harvest of love and wealth is beyond the reach of our young people who have just entered the society for a while, and it is simply a luxury. The younger sisters all said: Did Xinxin save the Milky Way in her last life? So blessed by fate. After marriage, Xinxin doesn't need to repay the mortgage and car loan. Her mother-in-law and nanny take care of the children. She is still at leisure. Besides going to work, she just goes shopping, skin care and fitness, and can go at any time. David has a good personality, too. He sprinkled a handful of loving dog food in his circle of friends at intervals, which made his friends more envious and almost nosebleeds.
However, the Yan Yan I suddenly saw was so strange. To outsiders, this woman is simply a "lucky girl, a winner in life". She should be extremely happy, but she is not? She already has a lot, isn't it enough? What's wrong? Is Yan Yan missing something? What is there in a person's life that can make us happy? I'm confused.
Until I met Schopenhauer's book "The Wisdom of Life: How to Spend a Happy Life", I had to say that using philosophical principles to solve difficult problems in life is just like solving mathematical equations when I was a student. Through substitution, analogy and hypothesis, I can easily find clear and correct answers.
This book not only puzzled me, but also changed my previous understanding of philosophy. It turns out that philosophy is not all abstruse and obscure, but also easy to understand, which is closely related to our lives.
First of all, the philosopher Schopenhauer
Altug Schopenhauer was born in Danzig. At the age of 23, he gave up medicine and devoted himself to literature. I was lonely all my life, but I didn't feel depressed in loneliness, but insisted on doing what I wanted to do. His character and behavior have many defects, but he is only a mortal. But unlike ordinary people, he often jumps out of ordinary life, examines himself and his peers, tries to reveal and face the cruel truth of life, and then continues to look for a better way of life and live bravely. He wrote many articles about the wisdom of life in his life, and put forward many enlightening suggestions on how to live better, which showed the brilliance of a wise philosopher.
Second, Schopenhauer's life wisdom: three reasons related to happiness
Schopenhauer, as an excellent philosopher, is closer to the consideration of real life, paying attention to the happiness of the world and how people can live better in their daily lives. He believes that whether a person is happy or not is related to three reasons.
First, what is a person? That is, personality in a broad sense, such as health, personality, quality, strength, temperament, morality, reason, education and so on.
Second, what do people have? For example, wealth, status, love, career, success and other things we often say.
Third, where is a person in the evaluation of others, that is, the outside world's views and recognition.
Generally speaking, we think that the more external things, the better the evaluation of others, and the happier we are. However, Schopenhauer said: "The first and most essential factor of happiness in life is our personality." "What people are like is much more important than what they have. In the matter of happiness, personal character, temperament, mentality and belief are more important than cars, houses and jewelry. " In other words, you are the first and most critical part of the happiness chain. Unfortunately, we often confuse the order.
Why do you say that? Because people are different from animals, besides physical needs, people also have thoughts and emotions. The satisfaction of biological instinct does not represent the need of spiritual level, and the happy state depends on inner peace and self-identity, which must be dominated by self. Those seemingly happy people often only meet the second and third conditions and ignore the first one. His own heart may not be completely satisfied from the evaluation of things outside his body and outsiders, so he may not be happy. Throughout history and society, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, such examples can be seen everywhere. Ancient imperial nobles and modern star merchants, there are always a few people living in dire straits under the cover of "happiness", and some even commit suicide and depression.
If a person regards things outside his body as the source of happiness and hopes to get happiness from property, social status, wife, children, friends or society, then when he loses these things or finds them disappointing, his happiness foundation collapses. Especially with the growth of age, love will disappear, physical function will decline, and there is no energy to develop your hobbies, whether traveling or socializing. Friends and relatives, too, gradually left us. When such a moment comes, it is very important for a person to have his own existence, and he has always been with him. Self is the only real and lasting source of happiness.
Third, the application of philosophical thinking in life.
Knowing this, when I looked back and thought about the reasons why Yan Yan was unhappy, I suddenly understood. Although she has love and wealth and the envy of her peers, her heart is not calm. It can be said that the person who hinders happiness is herself.
One weekend, I chatted with her while having afternoon tea. Sure enough, the problem lies with herself. She said that although she has no worries about food and clothing, she often feels empty in her heart and can't display her talents at work. Wealth is created by her parents. There are so few things in her life that she can control and dominate. For Yan Yan, who is diligent and enterprising, this leisurely life is always suspected of wasting time. Because I am in a bad mood, I feel uncomfortable to see anything, and my happiness is particularly small.
I found the reason and answered the question that has puzzled me for a long time: having a rich and powerful inner self is the source of happiness. Self is the best and richest resource that a person can become or get. The more fun a person finds in himself, the happier he will be.
Life is like this. Glory and self-feeling in the eyes of outsiders are always two worlds. Through Schopenhauer's wisdom, we should understand that happiness has no fixed format, it is a very personal and subjective thing. Each of us has the capital to be happy. No matter what situation you are in, you should put self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-demand in the first place on the road to happiness. Only when you have a sense of security in your heart can you enjoy your external possession with peace of mind and get the truest happiness.