A friend went directly to the United States to study for a doctorate after graduating from undergraduate course, and then returned to China to start a business. A while ago, he got the angel round financing, and I didn't know all this through my friend's friend.
This man is too low-key, and his personality is typical? Do things in silence? .
I didn't know about it until I went back to Shanghai and had a meal with him a while ago. I asked him at the dinner table. Why are you so low-key? I've never done these awesome things in my circle of friends. ?
He said:? Don't talk nonsense everywhere before you do something, just hold your horses. Many dreams run away when talking to others. ?
I don't know if you or people around you have such an experience:
Show the marathon registration form, but didn't go during the race;
Claiming to learn Japanese, I was complacent after sending a circle of friends. In fact, I didn't even learn the five-tone map well.
I've been telling people all day that I want to lose weight, and now I'm swinging my arm. Butterfly sleeve? Still fleshy.
I'm going to take the exam. I'm going to tell people everywhere how hard I get up early for the exam and how hard I work. I'm proud of this false satisfaction, but the truth is that I'm far from working so hard.
In the end, those who really succeed are those who silently run to the library.
In fact, it can also be said that the more people talk about their dreams, the less likely they are to succeed.
1
Talk about dreams.
It's bad for you.
DerekSivers, an American entrepreneur, pointed out: Say your goal, and the possibility of achieving it will be smaller than before.
The brain has a self-deception mechanism: when you tell others about your dream, the brain will have the illusion that you have finished it.
With this illusion, you will feel good about yourself, thus reducing the possibility of working harder for it.
As early as 1982, PeterGollwitzer, a psychology professor at new york University, proved by experiments:
Tell your dreams, and your brain will have an illusion of honor about your sense of identity. You seem to have become what you want to be.
We only expressed our dreams verbally, but didn't really start to implement them.
This kind of lip service makes our behavior more slack, and when we walk, we deviate from the road of our dreams.
There is an interesting thing in Zeng Guofan's letter.
Zeng Guofan is a heavy smoker. He was reprimanded for smoking too much, so he told everyone with great momentum: I want to quit smoking. ?
This matter should be put into today, which is similar to sending a serious circle of friends: I don't quit smoking, I don't change my head! ? Finally, take a selfie. Waiting for praise.
Things just stay on the verbal, not every few days, Zeng Guofan forgot. So I started to quit smoking for the second time after ten years. He smashed an ancestral chimney as a sign of repentance.
However, whenever I go out, I always see others smoking, and my heart itches, so I smoke. Kindness is hard to refuse? I smoked twice for reasons and failed again.
It was not until the third time two years later that he silently wrote down his idea of quitting smoking in his diary. Is this it? Silence? Yes, let him really succeed in quitting smoking.
2
A person who does things quietly.
Never lose.
Some people will have questions. Now is the internet age, and the smell of wine is afraid of the depth of the alley. Do you still need to hold your breath when doing things?
My answer is:? Very much needed. ?
20 14 an internet entrepreneur born after 1990 became an instant hit on the internet.
He brazenly publicizes his dreams everywhere, not only in his circle of friends, but also in Sohu, Sina and even CCTV? Will you give 100 million to employees next year? Gorgeous rhetoric.
This is Yu Jiawen, who created the super curriculum.
Unfortunately, his propaganda is just narcissism. Now Yu Jiawen has apologized to the public, not to mention the so-called dream.
On the contrary, it is Zhao Lei, a Chengdu singer who has been popular all over the streets recently. It costs money to participate in the Singer program on Mango Taiwan and put it on ordinary people.
But Zhao Lei didn't. Hong Tao, the general director of the program, invited again and again before coming out.
Later, in the issue that was eliminated by the program, such a passage by Zhao Lei was broadcast. I don't want to be popular, I just want to sing a song. I believe that gold always shines. ?
This theory applies not only to the process of chasing dreams, but also to love or life.
Just over half a month after Valentine's Day, single dog was completely abused by friends who had a high-end dinner of rose chocolate.
However, there is a saying that is not good: show love and die quickly.
Psychologically speaking, if you aim at emotional love, you will be eager to show your achievements before the relationship is stable, and your brain will think that you are already very loving and don't need to work hard for it.
We all know that feelings need to be managed with energy, and girls may expect more surprises in the coming festivals.
After talking about feelings, both sides' brains will feel slack about feelings. And this slack becomes? Die fast? An important reason.
Many people claim how much they love, but those so-called vigorous feelings often slip away from their mouths.
Instead, it is those ordinary and wordless warmth, and the smallest water flows forever.
three
Keep your dreams fresh.
Three-step strategy
So, how can we keep our dreams fresh?
1, don't spread it around.
There is an old saying in China: Only concentration can make you rich. ? I have to say that some truths of our ancestors are still worth pondering after decades and hundreds of years.
When a person publicizes his goal to others, others often praise your idea out of courtesy.
This courtesy from a third party will make you intoxicated with your goal setting, thus reducing your efforts.
What we need to remember is that empty talk is cheap, and ideas are cheap, words are weak, and ideas are worthless. What is important is to fully implement them after setting goals.
2. Don't fantasize about a happy ending in advance!
You may have had such an experience: when you decide to start a business, you can't help but fantasize about the valuation of the company after listing;
When you start fitness, you seem to see your vest line;
At the beginning of each year, when you tell others about your exciting goal, you are as excited as if you have achieved it.
But in fact, we never even took a step.
Low-key is a life attitude, not a necessary condition for success, but it is also related to success.
3. Record your dreams with a diary and break down the steps to realize your dreams.
Everyone still has an irresistible desire to express themselves. If he can't bear it, he should share it.
You can find a notebook you like and write down your dreams. While writing down your dreams, a better way is to break down your dreams into steps.
You can't swallow a big goal in one gulp, you can only achieve one small goal after another slowly.
Author Ren Xiaojiu. A sister who thinks seriously and doesn't drink and write seriously. Sometimes very sad, sometimes very positive. She has stories and wine.