Uncle: You old woman, look at your boasting. A narcissist with high vanity is not like me ...
Aunt: (interrupting uncle) What attitude, what attitude! You dead old man, applause was about to ring, but now you have to say goodbye and leave, which hurts your self-esteem.
(With an irate look on his face, slowly wave down, and Xiao Cui goes up)
Trav: Oh, auntie, auntie, don't leave in a hurry. Uncle didn't mean that. He is jealous of your talent and steals the show with you. Come, come, come, please sit down ... (grabbing aunt's arm and accusing uncle) Uncle, you are really an old couple, don't order aunt.
Uncle: (guilty, pulling my aunt's sleeve forward) I was wrong, okay?
Aunt: (sitting on the left) For Xiao Cui's sake, finish the program and get even with you when I get home. Uncle smiled wryly and sat down with his aunt. The distance between them is tight first and then loose. Aunt is on the right and uncle is on the left. )
Xiao Cui: Hello, leaders and audience. Today, we are lucky to have an old couple who have been away for seven years. Let's clap.
(Uncle and aunt stand up, smile and wave to the audience, shy, and then sit down)
Xiao Cui: Hello, uncle and aunt. The main reason for inviting you here today is to talk to you about environmental protection ... (Uncle and aunt greet the host: hello, host)
Auntie: (Wait three seconds) Environmental protection? I've heard about protecting the sky and the land. When did you start protecting the environment ... what's the environment like?
Xiao Cui: Environmental protection ... is to prevent pollution and pay attention to hygiene.
Uncle: Well, isn't it just hygiene? Our pig is so clean that we all wash our hands before feeding it ...
Xiao Cui: Uncle, you should talk big and talk about social phenomena.
Uncle: (takes out his notebook) Say ... (stands up and takes a step forward), I'm ready. (Clears throat) This is a "seven-character quatrain": the spring breeze of reform blows into the door, blowing sand and blowing dust. I am lost in the dust on the road and can't find my way home! Thank you (thank you for connecting tightly with the front. Uncle sat down and fell to the ground. Xiao Cui was busy greeting, and Aunt cared. Let's help Uncle up together. Take a step forward and forget it.
Xiao Cui: Uncle speaks very well. Where's auntie? Aunt, are you ready?
Aunt: I am a "cultural person". Can I be unprepared? He wrote a seven-character quatrain, and I wrote a seven-character poem. It rhymes, you know? Eight sentences! (He takes out his notebook, clears his throat, and demonstrates to his uncle with gestures and expressions, triumphantly) The spring breeze of reform has made a fuss all over the city, and the people of China are not so good. Sewage is discharged into the river ditch, and the green water foam is really awesome. We smell disgusting, foreigners keep it! Don't! Don't! (three noes, upscaling).
Xiao Cui: Aunt said it very well.
Aunt: What do you mean by "great"? It means "good stage".
Xiao Cui: So, the pollution there is very serious?
Aunt: What do you mean "very serious"? It means "serious time" (ditto), especially when it is windy. (Standing up) At that time, the dust was flying, the sky was dark, the sun and the moon were dull, and sand was flying and stones were flying.
Uncle: At this time, the frequency of using public toilets on both sides of the street will increase obviously ... (Stand up and gesture)
Xiao Cui: Why?
Uncle: Pedestrians on the road were stopped by a sandstorm. If they couldn't go home, they hid in the toilet!
Xiao Cui: It's so serious. How is this pollution caused? Come on, uncle and aunt, let's sit down and talk slowly.
Uncle: (pointing to aunt) People like her have no sense of environmental protection at all ... (Go back and sit down)
Aunt: What's wrong with me? What is wrong with me? (Angry)
Uncle: Didn't you always like to use that plastic bag? Just use a cloth bag. Say you're useless ...
Aunt: What's wrong with the plastic bag? I am a "cultural person", walking in the street with a cloth bag on my back. Isn't it rude? How cool it is to use plastic bags!
Uncle: (stands up) Use it when you use it, and throw it when you throw it! You will always be left, right, left and right (waving while striding, just like my aunt just now, learning to gradually sing "left and right" into rap). This is white pollution, understand?
Aunt: What are you talking about? ! Haven't I always used colored plastic bags? How can it cause white pollution? That is the icing on the cake of life!
Xiao Cui: No, auntie, it doesn't mean "white pollution"!
Aunt: What if I get all the pollution? Don't say it! (Stand up) Go! Go away! (Sitting in the nearest place to Xiao Cui) I'll expose you, too. (to Xiao Cui) He still threw up on the ground! At that time, the chickens of Lao Wang's family pecked his spit and began to cough the next day. The village committee also punished him for intentional injury, 50 yuan! (to uncle) 50 yuan, old man, have you forgotten? (tone)
Uncle: I'm going to throw up on the ground now. I threw up in a plastic bag.
Aunt: Alas, alas, Mingming, where did you throw up?
Uncle: Plastic bag (hesitates)
Aunt: That's white pollution, understand? ! Still talking about me! (Proud)
Trav: Stop arguing, you two. It seems that you two really need to work harder on environmental protection!
Uncle: What can I do for you?
Trev: Like packing things in a cloth bag? No spitting? ……
Uncle: OK, then I'll pick up all the plastic bags along the street ... (stand up, use the stage space, talk and walk)
Aunt: Then I'll pry all the sputum off along the street ... (Same as above, uncle left, aunt right)
Uncle: Then I'll pry phlegm, too. ...
Aunt: Then I'll pick up the plastic bag. ...
Xiao Cui: (standing up, tilting his head to the audience, smiling bitterly) Both of them have become cleaners. ..... (to uncles and aunts) Actually, uncles and aunts, I think we should set up a propaganda team to publicize the importance of environmental protection and call on the whole society to take action, starting from me and starting from the side, protecting the environment and being kind to nature. ...
Uncle: Great. We should promote it, wife. Who will go first?
Aunt: You old man, you have no education at all. Ladies first, understand? Look at me. We went shopping yesterday, but we could hardly see it in front of us. The smoke is rolling in the sky, the ground debris is flying all over the sky, and the noise of cars is annoying. Who do you think created evil-human beings!
Uncle: Today, we made a program to know that the environment needs to be protected. It's really hateful to destroy the environment. I want to cry at the thought of black soil. Men of all ages will soon realize that whoever has a poor environment will suffer-us!
Xiao Cui: Tomorrow we will promote environmental protection. Let's cherish natural resources, and human beings should not be at a loss. Green mountains and green waters are really cute. What should we do tomorrow? -What should I do?
Uncle: Well, Xiao Cui, I haven't seen you for several years, and my talent has improved greatly.
Aunt: That's right.
Trav: Oh, no, no, no, you are amazing. How can I compete with you? What's that called? Pediatrics. Come, come, come, please sit down. (When they are seated) Now please say the last and most classic sentence about environmental protection.
Aunt: Just ... just a word. ...
Trev: Ah, yes, just one sentence.
Aunt: From the lungs. ...
Qi: Audience friends, please remember: environmental protection-don't fool!