The world is full of forests, and different human tragedies and comedies are staged every day. Is this complicated life story really a game and a dream?
Network society, fragmented information, living in this era that may change at any time, more and more people feel depressed, and "I am depressed" has even become a popular label. Is depression really the fault of the times and society?
What did he experience from the rich second generation to depression?
Don't! The answer is neither so sure nor so simple.
Robert de Board, a senior British psychological counselor, vividly and interestingly interprets the standard template of psychological counseling courses-Mr. Toad went to see a psychiatrist through the animal hero in the classic fairy tale The Wind in the Willows. This book has become a national-level psychological counseling introductory book that has been sold well in Britain for more than 20 years, and it is also a celebrity online book we see today.
Many people read this little book, and many people recommend it. Then, what you see is not how to follow Mr. Toad to understand the introductory knowledge of psychological counseling, but two psychological tools worth unlocking for each of us: personality palette and four psychological games.
In the eyes of ordinary people, Mr. toad's depression is simply unreasonable (of course, depression never makes sense). His starting point in life is higher than many people. He lives in a lake view villa and runs an ancestral business, but he is such a standard rich second generation. He is not as handsome as peeling onions, but he is getting more and more depressed. Why is this?
Understand the personality palette and learn to reconcile with yourself.
Mr. Heron, a psychological consultant, helped Mr. Toad to open the personality palette, from which he found the causes of his personality and the roots of his rich second generation to depression patients.
The three primary colors of red, green and blue constitute a colorful world, while the three self-states of parents, adults and children form our diverse personalities. Among them, children's self-state is a natural attribute of each of us, and it is also a variety of adaptive reactions when facing other individuals, such as imitation and rebellion. Parents' self-state is inherited from us by their parents, and it is the influence exerted on us by their authoritative status, such as dictatorship and friendliness. Adult self-state is a stable state formed through learning and thinking in the process of growth, and it is also a sign of rationality and maturity.
At different ages, these three self-states play different roles in our lives, and show different personalities with different scenes. For example, someone in his thirties is childlike and carefree, and his children's self-state has been playing a leading role; Someone didn't like his parents when he was a child, but "I will be you when I grow up", and his parents' self-status unconsciously became a corner; And some people have always been rational and mature, and he controls the overall situation with the self-state of adults. If the three self-states live in harmony and naturally transition at different stages, this person's psychology will be healthy and stable. If the three self-states are in constant conflict, or can't be distorted for a while, this person will be unfortunately depressed, encounter various psychological obstacles, and even have mental illness.
The root of Mr. Toad's depression is that he has been controlled by his autocratic parents for a long time, but he doesn't know how to vent his anger. He wants to get rid of it, but he can't. Even if you leave your parents as an adult, you will be at the mercy of equally powerful people in your work and life. Therefore, he can truly get rid of inferiority, confusion and helplessness and become himself only if he unties the hidden knot in his heart.
Unlock four psychological games and learn to live in harmony with society.
After understanding the personality palette and learning to get along with himself, Mr. Toad is still facing another life problem, how to get along with society?
In the same way, he must first analyze the rules of the game in life and society.
Mr. Heron drew a "life coordinate" for him, with two ends of the horizontal axis marked with "You are not good" and two ends of the vertical axis marked with "I am good" and "You are not good", thus producing four vectors, namely "I am good, hello, I am not good, you are not good" and "I am not good, hello". These four combinations are exactly what we may face or encounter in any social life scene. They are called four psychological games in psychology, depending on how you play them!
The so-called "environment is born from the heart", you think "I am good, you are not good", so naturally you should guard against people's attitude towards society and keep your distance; If you feel "I am good, you are good", you will be optimistic, enthusiastic and positive about people and things; Feeling "I am not good and you are not good", full of hostility and hatred for people and things; If you feel that "I am not good, but you are good", you will feel alienated from others and society and tend to feel inferior.
People's attitude towards the environment will also react to people from the environment, thus having a corresponding impact on people's mental health. Only by playing these four mental games well can you live in harmony with others and society and protect your mental health from external harm.
It is through the understanding of personality palette and four psychological games that Mr. Toad finally bid farewell to Mr. Heron, returned to life, became sunny and cheerful, and was welcomed and loved by his friends.
Have you ever played the personality palette and the four psychological games?