I can feel that you are demanding of yourself. You are introverted and thoughtful. Everything has a perfect standard in your mind, but in reality you can't reach your own standard. Recently, you may encounter a series of negative thoughts, accompanied by many unpleasant things, which make you unwilling to do anything and lose the motivation to do things, so you want to change yourself, but have no intention to stick to it.
In your case, we suggest that you don't want to do anything now, just indulge once and vent once, so that your repressed emotions can be completely released now. Usually arrange more outdoor activities for yourself, such as morning exercises, running, walking and other activities that are beneficial to physical and mental health. You can also start from the small things around you and take seriously those things that you thought were not worth doing before. Now, if you do it with your heart, you will find many different feelings, and gradually your troubles will be gone and your mood will be relaxed.
I wish you find inner balance as soon as possible!