How to improve self-confidence? I believe that many people who are new to the workplace will have such troubles. They always have no confidence in others and feel inferior. In fact, when you feel embarrassed, you might as well try a self-deprecating way, which can not only ease the atmosphere, but also integrate with others.
Earlier, a post published in the United States also pointed out that self-mockery is not only a clever means of interpersonal communication, but also a good prescription for physical and mental health.
Not self-deprecating.
In the eyes of experts, self-mockery seems to be "teasing" yourself and making others laugh, but it is actually putting on a layer of "protective clothing" for yourself. The reason is that on the one hand, people's psychological balance is biased towards the weak, and self-mockery is a great wisdom to some extent.
On the other hand, many people are worried that others will laugh at their shortcomings or handles, so choosing to laugh at themselves actively can turn passivity into initiative and pessimism into optimism. Therefore, being good at self-mockery has become an essential interpersonal skill in modern society.
However, there are more people who don't laugh at themselves in life. A university psychology professor divides them into two types: one is a "one-track-minded" person who thinks that the world is either black or white and will not be flexible when things happen. They don't know that language is an art and can't do things with language; The other is an introvert, who is not good at expressing himself, let alone laughing at himself often.
For many people who don't like to laugh at themselves, experts say that self-mockery is "explicit" of personality to a certain extent. Not everyone likes this expression, and some even think it is glib.
Many people in China are influenced by the traditional concept of "talking too much will lose" and think that the best way to deal with it is to keep it secret. The education that China people have received since childhood has always emphasized "solemnity" and "implication", which virtually killed many people's humorous cells.
Others, especially envious of those "pistachios" who can laugh at everyone at will, are eager to learn to laugh at themselves, but they are often slow to respond and can't say anything.
In this regard, experts pointed out that self-mockery is a unique creative language, which is directly related to talent and wisdom. Although not everyone is born, it can be acquired.
Learn to laugh at yourself and gain happiness.
Laughing at others is a virtue, and laughing at yourself is also a virtue. Self-mockery is to "tease" yourself and win a smile. It is not only a good medicine for self-regulating psychological balance, but also an important way of communication. If you laugh at yourself more vividly when you encounter difficulties and deal with embarrassing situations, you can adjust your mentality in time.
According to legend, there was a scholar named Shi in ancient times. Once he accidentally falls to the ground while riding a donkey, most people will be at a loss. The scholar stood up unhurriedly and said, "Fortunately, I am a historian. If I were a Wa scholar, wouldn't I be in pieces? " A humorous quip made everyone present laugh, and the scholar relieved his embarrassment in laughter.
This has a positive impact on the mental health of self-mockers. People will unconsciously protect themselves in interpersonal communication. Self-mockery is the most mature and healthy defense mechanism, which will not cause any harm to yourself or others.
Laugh at yourself, comfort your heart, relieve your dissatisfaction, add a protective film to your heart and let others have a new understanding of you. Learning to laugh at yourself and treat life with an open mind will make you live a happy and healthy life.
There are usually many ways to use self-mockery to stabilize your emotions. For example, when you are treated unfairly economically, your physical defects are laughed at by others, and you are attacked for no reason, you might as well think about "losing money is a blessing" and "losing money to avoid disaster" to adjust your unbalanced psychology; On some unprincipled issues, you can play dumb and add a protective film to your mind; When the time is right.
Physiological changes of emotions and facial expressions, sometimes short-lived and sometimes lasting, can affect people's psychological activities. Everyone's life will be happy or unhappy because of the alternation of success and failure, success and disappointment.
Benign emotions can make the brain in the best state, improve efficiency and enhance resistance. The British scientist is nervous because of the pressure of work. The doctor told him, "A clown in town is better than a group of doctors." Scientists realized the real meaning. Since then, they often take time to go to theaters and circuses, and soon their health has greatly improved.
Negative emotions can easily kill you. American psychiatrists surveyed 204 boys and found that only 1 of 59 people with stable mood had heart disease. Of the 48 people with long-term emotional instability, 18 were seriously ill or died before the age of 55.
Thus, a good mood can bring happiness and longevity to people; Being in a bad mood will give a green light to the disease.
In addition to physical health, a person needs mental health to be called a healthy person. The mental health standards put forward by UNESCO include emotional normality and emotional toughness.
No matter how high a person's IQ, moral quotient and financial quotient are, if his emotional quotient is not high and he can't control his emotions, it will be difficult to succeed and even endanger his health. An English physiologist has a bad temper. He often said, "Sooner or later, my life will fall into the hands of a bad person who makes me angry."
As a result, at a meeting, "bad guys" appeared. In a rage, he had a heart attack and died on the spot. A person's mental health depends on his mood. For example, in A Dream of Red Mansions, Lin Daiyu quarreled with Xifeng today, with Xue Baochai tomorrow, and cried with the maid the day after tomorrow, complaining all day. She is a typical depressed patient with unhealthy mood.
Normal emotions have four characteristics.
People are bound to have negative emotions such as sadness and regret, but normal emotions should be like this.
1. Emotions should be timely.
Happy for good grades, angry for being abused, and nervous for the approaching exam are all normal emotional reactions. Unexplained sadness or happiness, alarmism, and being sad for something that is not worth being sad at all, and it lasts for a long time, are all abnormal emotions.
2. Stimulation intensity is directly proportional to emotional response.
The stronger the wind on the sea surface, the higher the waves. The mood is the same. It is not normal to be overjoyed at a trivial matter but indifferent to a strong stimulus.
3. Emotional duration is limited
Pain is an unhealthy emotion. Emotions are always caused by stimuli, and when the stimuli disappear, the emotions should gradually calm down. Of course, some injuries caused by blows, such as the death of a loved one, may take a long time to heal. If it is a general question, it should be forgotten in a short time.
4. There are more positive emotions than negative ones.
People with mental health should be more optimistic than pessimistic, and more positive than negative. If anything is observed and thought from different angles, it will have different impressions. Looking at many things that make people angry from another angle, we can often find some positive meanings and form a good impression.
Laugh at yourself and talk to ease the pain.
Negative emotions are generally induced by work pressure, interpersonal relationships and other reasons. When the work pressure is high, tell yourself that the pressure is given by yourself. We should face up to pressure, not escape, and learn to coexist with it.
Interpersonal problems should learn psychological empathy, understanding and understanding of others; When encountering setbacks, you might as well comfort yourself with "winning or losing is a common occurrence in military strategists" and get rid of depression and anxiety. People who are in a bad mood for a long time can try the following self-regulation methods.
Methods of regulating emotions
1. First, learn to adjust cognition.
The emotional "ABC" theory founded by American psychologists points out that emotional distress is mostly induced by unreasonable beliefs.
For example, two people meet a leader in the street, and the leader doesn't say hello to them. One of them may think: "The leader may be thinking about other things and not paying attention to us", and the other may think: "The leader wants to pick on me because I refuted him last time."
Secondly, we should build a mature psychological defense mechanism.
For example, the "sublimation mechanism", that is, after encountering setbacks, turns inner pain into a kind of motivation and then puts it into beneficial activities; "Humor mechanism", self-mockery can make people gain a balanced psychology, maintain self-esteem and ease their hearts.
A scholar once said: "Tell a friend about happiness, and two people will share it;" Pour out your sorrow to a friend, and your sorrow will be halved. "
When you are in a bad mood, you can get together with friends, classmates and relatives, chat and talk about depressed negative emotions. You can also get emotional support, understanding and new ideas to solve problems. American psychologists believe that a person can live for 20 years if he has a circle of friends.
How to improve self-confidence
First, always pay attention to your strengths and achievements.
You are always thinking about your shortcomings and failures, and of course you will become less confident. Didn't this ruin your prestige? You must cultivate your ambition. You will always have many advantages and achievements. List them and write them on paper.
Write at least five advantages and five achievements. Look at this note and think about it often. When engaging in various activities, think about your strengths and tell yourself what you have achieved. This is called "the contagion effect of confidence". This effect has a good effect on improving your self-confidence and is conducive to improving the success rate of this activity.
Second, reach out to confident people.
"Close to Zhu Zhechi, close to jet black." If you are often with people who are pessimistic and disappointed, you will also be depressed. If you are always in contact with open-minded and confident people, you will certainly become such a person. Make friends with more ambitious and confident people.
Third, self-psychological suggestion.
Constantly carry out positive psychological reinforcement on yourself and avoid negative reinforcement on yourself. When you are in trouble, you must never give up. Keep saying to yourself, "I can do it!" "I am great!" "I can do better!" Wait a minute. You repeat what you have confidence in yourself, which is a very important psychological suggestion of self-positivity, which is conducive to continuously improving your self-confidence. This has been confirmed by psychological research.
Fourth, establish a confident external image.
A person's clean and decent appearance is conducive to enhancing self-confidence. If you behave freely, behave appropriately, help others and look away, you will have heartfelt confidence. At the same time, strengthening exercise and keeping fit will also help to enhance self-confidence.
Fifth, maintain a certain sense of pride.
Modesty is necessary for a person, but not too much. Too much self-mockery is extremely unfavorable to the cultivation of self-confidence. A person should not be proud, but neither should he be without pride. Believe in yourself and be proud of yourself.
Sixth, learn to smile.
Smiling will increase happiness, and then enhance self-confidence. it wont hurt you to try it Smile, self-confidence, almost immediately.
Seventh, know how to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses.
In study, life and work, we should always seize the opportunity to show our strengths and specialties, and at the same time pay attention to make up for our shortcomings and make continuous progress. In this way, you will improve your success rate, get more praise, and of course enhance your self-confidence.
Eighth, read more biographies of celebrities.
Because many celebrities, their own qualifications and external environment before becoming famous are not better than yours. Some people, even at your age, are much worse than you are now. Reading more information in this field will let you know that you actually have the conditions for success, and success is completely timely, which will help boost your self-confidence.
Ninth, make full preparations.
Before engaging in an activity, if you can make full preparations, you will be more confident when engaging in this activity, which is conducive to the smooth completion of this activity. Once this activity is successful, it will in turn enhance the overall self-confidence.
Tenth, set appropriate goals for yourself.
The goal is too low, too easy to achieve, and it is impossible to enhance self-confidence. But the goal should not be too high. The goal is too high, it is not easy to achieve, but it destroys self-confidence. The appropriate goal is: jump hard, as long as you touch it.
Conclusion: Self-mockery is a good way to vent emotions and create happiness, and it is also a way to ridicule others. Learn to laugh at yourself, and you can have a healthy body and mind. I have explained all the psychological methods to adjust emotions, hoping to help everyone.