Perhaps, a person can live alone without a partner, but he can never live without others and social relations. Once it is gone, it will fall into extreme fear, and even the spirit may collapse. Professor johnf nash (mathematician and Nobel Prize winner), the hero of the film A Beautiful Mind, is lonely, helpless and loveless. He helped himself achieve an academic breakthrough by constructing an "ID character" by himself, so he fell into schizophrenia and overcame delusions through his own will. Therefore, I think it is best for people to have a partner and someone who is willing to pay attention to themselves. Because that feeling of being deeply seen and loved makes you live healthier.
Thoreau said, "No matter how hard two legs try, they can't bring two hearts closer together." Yes, that's right, because of various biological and social restrictions, even lovers can't achieve close consistency with each other in their thoughts. But in the vast sea of people, there are still people who are trying so hard to get close to you, trying to understand you, feel you and tolerate you. How happy I am.
With the further acceleration of information exchange and enjoyment, people with the same frequency thinking will meet more quickly. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and grew up in different environments. At a certain moment, we are attracted to each other, know each other and love each other. We continue our lives, experience different people and read different books ... Even though we agree on many things, we are not ourselves after all, we can't see the world we feel and we can't understand our thoughts immediately. Although I don't understand, I am still trying to feel and tolerate. Because of love, we have more courage to bear this loneliness.
Although most of the stories in the film A Beautiful Mind are fictional, the positive energy that the director tried to convey made me more courageous to love, accept and tolerate. Let me believe that love can drive away the fog of loneliness. And between people, it is not the omniscient head that finally eliminates the gap, but the heart that resolutely does not let go.
I have experienced it and asked myself: What is love? Love is deep understanding and acceptance.
From 65438 to 0938, Harvard University launched the longest research project on adult development-Grant's happiness formula research, which is still going on today. The research conclusion points out five truths of happiness:
How to pursue a happier and more meaningful life?
1. Love is the really important happiness = love+find a way to cope with real life without pushing love away.
The only thing that matters in life is emotional connection. A person can have a successful career, a lot of money and good health, but he won't feel happy without emotional connection of support and love.
Money and power are not the only happiness = there is no need to pursue more wealth and power.
It is found that when a person is close to 80 years old, his satisfaction with life is no longer necessarily related to his social class or even his own income. When it comes to lifelong achievement, the only important thing is that you are satisfied with your work.
Searching for love and happiness all one's life = No matter how our life begins, it is possible to get happiness.
When a man named Godfrey participated in Grant's research, his life prospects were very bleak. But when life is coming to an end, he is the happiest one. Why? Valentine said, "Because he has been looking for love all his life."
4. Happiness = contact
The study found that strong emotional connection is undoubtedly the most important element to predict life satisfaction. So is job satisfaction. I think work is closely related to myself, far more important than making money through work or achieving success in the traditional sense.
5. Challenges and "the hope that challenges bring you" make people happy? ? Happiness = psychological coping mechanism+creative expression
The psychological coping mechanism called "the ability to turn the stone into gold" by Van Lent has an important influence on our social support and physical and mental health. The secret is to replace egoism with a mature psychological defense mechanism, instead of indulging in your own emotional fluctuations and perception problems. In this respect, Mother Teresa and Beethoven are excellent examples. "Mother Teresa had a very miserable childhood, but she had a very successful life by taking care of others."
Robert wall Dinger, the fourth director in charge of this project and a professor at Harvard University, pointed out:
It is an eternal truth that a good intimate relationship is beneficial to our health and happiness. But why can't we do it? Because of the relationship, the trouble is complicated, and it takes a lifetime of investment, endless and not high at all. Therefore, we always like to find shortcuts. Looking for shortcuts and pursuing the external-success, wealth and reputation-has become the focus of people's attention. However, when you are deeply seen by a person, you will not pursue people's attention. Because you are not seen, you want to be seen by the whole world.
Facing the challenge of the times, we are in it, working nonstop and running around, ignoring the investment in the relationship. For love, I think it is best for both sides to be honest with each other, have more spiritual exchanges, actively understand, and be more tolerant and considerate. The most important thing is to make progress through mutual help. Both men and women should be brave enough to abandon backward cognition, express each other, learn from any excellent party and follow up, make progress together, and keep their thoughts in the same dimension. Only when the two sides can continue to vibrate at the same frequency can we maintain long-term love and marriage. Without love once and for all, continuous progress will be attractive. Because different working environments have different effects on personal growth, we should put ourselves in the other's shoes, get to know and understand each other more, and then help each other, achieve each other and become good partners. Any new partner will sometimes be out of step with himself. Therefore, I believe that being able to understand, tolerate and help is to build a good partner for yourself.
It is not easy to meet people who can vibrate at the same frequency in the vast sea of people. After a long time, when you are dissatisfied with your partner, remember why you fell in love with him/her. Are those advantages that make you fall in love with him/her still there? Why can't you see his/her merits now?
Towards a perfect marriage, I quite agree with Xiao Ri's point of view: 1. Live up to each other's expectations and trust, and be a kind person; 2. Not only willing to pay for each other, but also willing to pay for yourself, learn to be hard on yourself and learn to make progress; 3. The two partners become a synergistic relationship, not necessarily starting a business together, but at least becoming comrades-in-arms in action and learning to fight against the uncertain future together; 4. Be considerate, know that everyone is not easy, and care for each other in time; 5. The perfect marriage mode is two individuals with independent personality and independent thoughts, both creators, and finally form a family relationship that can resist the unknown and have a future.
We come and go in a hurry, turn a blind eye to nature, are indifferent to the surrounding environment, and forget to appreciate the beauty of life carefully. In the flashy world, the only thing that moves me is truth, only simplicity and nature. Even if no one understands me now, what's the point of knowing or not? Whenever I find that even if I am so mediocre, the world is so tolerant and full of love, and there are always people around me who are full of goodwill and accept everything from you, so why not! I remember my New Year's greeting in the circle of friends on 20 17 New Year's Eve: sincere and valuable. The world is so tolerant and full of love, and I will repay you with my sincere love! More exciting ~