We can try our best to make our interpersonal relationships as healthy as possible-such as family relationships, friends relationships, love relationships and so on. Besides, we can learn to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy, how to improve it and how to end it. This article is mainly about love relationships, including sexual relationships, but many concepts and suggestions are also applicable to other types of relationships.
Characteristics of healthy love relationship
No relationship can be perfect all the time, but in a healthy relationship, both sides will be satisfied with this relationship most of the time. A healthy love relationship has six basic characteristics:
respect
honest
trust
fair
equality
Good communication
An unhealthy relationship will lack some of the above characteristics, or even none at all.
How do you know if your love relationship is healthy?
In a healthy relationship, both sides will consider each other's needs and make compromises to make everyone happy. The best way to know whether a relationship is healthy or not is to recall how your lover made you feel most of the time.
Does your partner make you feel safe and cared for most of the time? If so, then your relationship is likely to be healthy.
Does your lover make you feel sad, scared or blame yourself most of the time? If so, then your relationship is probably unhealthy.
But no relationship is perfect. Sometimes, even a healthy relationship will encounter some unhealthy moments. Lovers can work together to improve your relationship, but if unhealthy situations occur frequently and continuously, then the relationship may be unhealthy. If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, you should consider ending it.
Now let's discuss six characteristics of a healthy relationship. This can help you think about whether your relationship is healthy or not.
respect
The basis of a healthy love relationship is mutual respect. People who respect each other will be proud of each other. They accept and like each other for who they are. They listen to each other and attach importance to each other's ideas and opinions.
Ask yourself if you and your lover respect each other.
Do you often listen to each other's thoughts and feelings?
Do you regard each other as friends?
Are you proud of each other?
If your answers to the above questions are yes, then there is respect in your love relationship, which is good for you and your love.
Without respect, relationships can hurt. Many people think that a slap or a punch can hurt people, but insults and rude words can also hurt people. This hurts our self-esteem, which is how we feel about ourselves.
Your lover:
Make you feel ugly, stupid or insecure?
Say you can't do anything without him/her?
Say you are crazy or stupid?
Ignore or make fun of your feelings and thoughts?
Make fun of your family, friends, job, income, neighbors or beliefs?
If your answer to one or more of the above questions is yes, then your partner just doesn't respect you.
Honesty and trust
Honesty and trust are very important in all interpersonal relationships. People build trust by talking, listening, keeping promises, respecting each other's feelings and having fun together. When we trust someone, we know that person is trustworthy. When you share your thoughts and feelings with people you trust, you will feel safe and reliable-this will bring you closer. In a healthy relationship, both sides will tell the truth, even if some truths are hard to say.
Relationships that lack trust can cause problems. This can cause anxiety and jealousy. Jealousy is a normal feeling-everyone is jealous sometimes. However, although emotions are difficult to control, behaviors are optional. Some people become control freaks because of jealousy. Control freak's behavior will destroy the mutual trust between people. When we trust our lover, we will be full of confidence in this relationship and will not feel jealous, even if we are jealous, we will not have excessive behavior.
Ask yourself if you and your lover are honest and trust each other.
Aren't you two worried about telling the truth?
No matter who made a mistake, do you have the courage to admit it?
Do you understand and accept each other's needs for friendship and affection?
Are you all sure of each other's love for you?
Do you trust each other's decision?
If you answer these questions in the affirmative, then there is honesty and trust in your relationship, which is good for you and your relationship.
A relationship without honesty and trust will make people unhappy. One of them will doubt the love and commitment of the other.
Your lover:
Trick you into avoiding responsibility?
Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Say, "If you really love me, you don't need other friends" or "You are having an affair, aren't you?" .
If your answer to one or more of the above questions is yes, then your partner just doesn't trust you.
Fairness and equality
In a healthy love relationship, both parties will treat each other fairly and get along equally. One person should not dominate this relationship-both sides have the final say. Both sides should feel that their personal needs are valued. Both sides are equal in making decisions and are willing to compromise. In a healthy love relationship, everyone dares to admit their mistakes and get forgiveness from each other.
In any love, there will be times when both sides disagree. It is normal for couples to have different views and needs. When lovers treat each other fairly, they will pay attention to each other's opinions and try their best to meet each other's needs. In a healthy love relationship, when there are differences, everyone will "argue fairly". That is, both sides will listen to and respect each other's views.
Ask yourself if you and your lover are fair and equal.
Can you all easily say what you want?
Do you think your needs are usually met?
Do you always make important decisions together?
Will you all compromise? Equal compromise?
If your answer to the above question is yes, then your relationship will be fair and equal, which is good for you and your relationship.
Without fairness and equality, relationships will be hurt by anger. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. Besides, one person should not always be in charge.
Your lover:
When something goes wrong, it's always your fault?
Guide you to feel guilty about your mistakes?
Know your schedule like the back of your hand?
Ask you to get his permission to do what you want?
Ignore your own needs and desires?
Forcing you to do something you don't like?
Ask about your whereabouts at any time, such as at school, work or home?
Between you two, it is mainly up to him/her to decide?
Want to control two people's money?
If your answer to one or more of the above questions is yes, then your relationship is unfair and unequal.
Good communication
Good communication is very important for any relationship. There are various communication channels, such as face-to-face, telephone, email or SMS. Communication is not only through language-body language can also express many things.
In a healthy love relationship, both parties will feel comfortable in communication and can share their thoughts and feelings with confidence. Lovers will listen carefully to each other's thoughts and feelings. Even if you are upset, you believe and expect your lover to listen and help you.
Ask yourself whether your relationship is based on good communication.
Can you share your thoughts and feelings easily?
Do you usually interrupt or criticize each other when listening to each other?
Can we solve problems and eliminate differences together?
If your answer is yes, then there is good communication in your relationship, which is good for you and your relationship.
Without good communication, there may be many misunderstandings.
Your lover:
Refuse to talk to you about relationships?
Refuse to talk to you about your feelings and troubles?
Not letting you say what you think?
Yelling at you?
Refuse to spend time with you?
Silent to you?
If your answer to one or more of the above questions is yes, then you have a communication problem.
Everything has two sides.
Many times, when people suspect that there is something wrong with the relationship, they will first evaluate what the other party has done. In fact, it is very important to see what you have done.
Do you:
Respect your lover?
Trust your lover?
Treat your lover equally?
Treat your lover fairly?
Frank communication?
Listen to your lover?
Please remember that if you want to establish a good relationship, both sides should work hard. It is important to think and change your behavior, and it is also important to discuss with your partner what kind of changes you want.