It's an honor to be here to discuss frustration with you. Our view is that setbacks are not conducive to success.
First of all, from a big perspective, setbacks will hinder the progress of the country, society and even all mankind. Why is the whole world calling for peace now? Why does capitalism seek to build a world without poverty, suffering and war? Why should China build a well-off society? It is precisely because only in a fair, just, honest, friendly, dynamic, stable and orderly environment can we better cultivate all kinds of talents and make social development and human progress.
Secondly, setbacks will hit people's self-confidence and hinder people's thinking, so only a few people can succeed in setbacks. Perhaps a setback will make a brave general, but it will defeat a million soldiers. When the only winner screamed at the sky, did you see the bones under his feet? The Cultural Revolution was an unprecedented disaster for the Chinese nation. In this great setback, knowledge became the source of China's evil. Scientists go to work and farm, and workers, peasants and students go to the streets to make revolution, which has caused a fault in the team of scientific and technological talents in China. The gap between the level of science and technology and some western powers in Europe and America is more than half a century, and the national economy is on the verge of collapse. How many soldiers who should have a bright future died under the enemy's guns? How many talented young people have fallen victim to setbacks? Isn't this blood enough?
Third, from a psychological point of view, setbacks are easy to make people disheartened and depressed, and it is difficult to find self-confidence for a long time. Why should our family and society strive to create a good learning and living environment for us? Just to make us more successful and hold up tomorrow's sun!
To sum up, we clearly believe that setbacks are not conducive to success!
Thank you!
(2) Can everyone get up when encountering setbacks? Of course not. Is it the mentality and method of getting up or the frustration itself that is the key to getting up? Obviously the former. Therefore, logically, what makes people successful is to overcome setbacks. This method is definitely not a setback itself, so setbacks are not conducive to success. If setbacks are conducive to success, why should we overcome them? Isn't it strange to defeat a "thing" that is conducive to success?
Frustration only provides it with an opportunity for improvement. In the face of promotion opportunities, some people are positive, while others are negative. Then how do you prove that because some people are negative and others are positive in the face of setbacks, then setbacks are still conducive to success? So we see what is the key to success, and that is the mentality of facing setbacks. Excuse me, are the mentality of facing setbacks and setbacks themselves a concept? If a self-made man hits a wall everywhere, whether it is economic problems or interpersonal problems, can he still be a success? Of course not. So, what's he going to do? Is to get rid of setbacks, turn him into a man without setbacks, and let him become a talent. If setbacks are conducive to success, why get rid of them? Let me ask you something.
At the beginning, you said you had to overcome setbacks to become a talent. Getting rid of setbacks is just an escape. Let me ask you two questions:
1) Is the word frustration the same as overcoming frustration?
2) You said that if you want to be successful, you should have the courage to face all kinds of challenges. From this sentence, I would like you to infer whether the key to success is frustration or the mentality of facing setbacks.
I started as the chairman, didn't the other party find out?
Of course, you can't just look at setbacks. When have I said this, please don't take it out of context? We want to solve him and defeat him, but you still haven't answered my two questions:
1) Is the word frustration the same as overcoming frustration?
2) You said that if you want to be successful, you should have the courage to face all kinds of challenges. From this sentence, I would like you to infer whether the key to success is frustration or the mentality of facing setbacks.
My point is that setbacks are not conducive to success, and a positive attitude towards setbacks is conducive to success: lol
Although I'm embarrassed to say it, I still have to say that you seem to lack analytical skills. When I say get rid of it, I mean to overcome it, not to escape. Only by turning setbacks into non-setbacks can we become talents. When you say that the richest people in the world encounter setbacks, I mean to use our own strength to change and get rid of adversity. Is getting rid of each other called running away? If we don't get rid of setbacks, do you mean to tell us that we will succeed only if we are always in adversity? Your last sentence-> If he faces setbacks calmly, then he will surely become a success-> In fact, your point of view cannot be proved, but there are loopholes. Your position today is based on facing setbacks with a positive attitude, not the setbacks themselves, so what is the key to success? It's your attitude, your attitude towards setbacks. When a positive or negative attitude determines whether you can become a talent, do you still have to tell me that setbacks are conducive to success?
P/s: I have made it clear in so many posts that we have to face setbacks. Why did you refuse to read it? Do you just choose to see what you like and pretend not to see what you don't like? Is the other party's attitude towards the argument correct?
(3) Our view is that setbacks are not conducive to growth.
Man's growth refers to the process that man changes from a natural person to a social person and is fully socialized. According to the healthy development of body and mind and the maturity of social roles, although prosperity and adversity are both life situations that people must face in the process of growing up, relatively speaking, prosperity is more conducive to people's growth.
First of all, from the perspective of people's physical and mental development, on the one hand, scientific nutrition supply and sound public health system are more conducive to people's physical growth than lack of material security and public health services. On the other hand, prosperity is more conducive to the growth of people's minds, including the improvement of cognitive ability, the cultivation of temperament and the cultivation of personality. In adversity, the learning environment is depressing, and we can recognize things, but in prosperity, it provides an encouraging educational atmosphere, which is more conducive to the systematic development of cognition. Adversity can recognize the hardships of life, but it is also prone to anxiety and pain, and even produces alienation and distrust of others. In good times, we can appreciate the warmth of family, the care of society and the value of friendship, thus having a tolerant, open and healthy mentality. In adversity, the cultivation of human character is conditional, and it is easy to go beyond the basic psychological pressure range, leading to personality distortion. In good times, the cultivation of people's character is subtle, and through active education and good temperament, a more sound personality is forged.
Secondly, from the perspective of people's socialization process, on the one hand, wealth is more conducive to meeting the growth needs of all stages of life. When we were children, the care of our families in good times gave us confidence and self-awareness, while children who grew up in broken families were prone to inferiority and suspicion. When we are teenagers, a good education in prosperity can make us succeed in our studies and live a prosperous life, but without education, we temporarily lose the support for growth and the direction of life. When we reach adulthood or even old age, prosperity enables people to gain the motivation for lifelong growth in self-affirmation, while the impact of adversity easily leads to depression and self-denial. On the other hand, prosperity is more conducive to the maturity of people's social roles, because people's growth is always marked by their independent playing of appropriate social roles. Difficulties in adversity are prone to frustration and interrupt the process of life growth. However, sustained social development, sound institutional arrangements and prosperous and harmonious daily life provide more benign space for the maturity of people's social roles.
Good wind, with its strength, helps me to rise to the top. With the downwind, we can spread our wings of growth and fly higher and farther in the sky of life. If people are often in a state of anxiety, their physical and mental health will be affected, which will naturally affect their work and there will be no growth. People's life can't be "smooth sailing" forever, and they will encounter setbacks, but they will be born with a certain ability to withstand adversity, and they will not "have no resistance at all." Therefore, people will adjust themselves even if they encounter some minor setbacks in the bustling environment. In the face of suffering, everyone's ability to adjust is different, which does not mean "no resistance to setbacks." Tolerance is related to factors such as personality and quality. It is innate, and there is training the day after tomorrow. In the face of setbacks, most people have the ability to adjust themselves. Since adversity can be tolerated, prosperity is more powerful. In adversity, I'm afraid it's hard to have a chance to do things in a down-to-earth way, and it's hard to have a chance to grow. Even if there is no opportunity, can it be beneficial to people's growth? Times make heroes! If you are in prosperity, you can give great people a good development environment and maybe make greater achievements.
Let's look at a true story about the unfavorable factors of teenagers' growth.
200 1 Xixia county people's procuratorate examined and handled a case of intentional injury. The suspect was under the age of 18 when he committed the crime, which is a typical minor violent crime, and its motivation, means and consequences are worth pondering.
(4)2 setbacks are not conducive to growth (1)
The case is this: Ren Moumou (female, 16 years old) learned that his uncle was fooling around with the victim, causing family discord. At about 200 1 1 2 1 night 10, after drinking, about Zhang (female, seven people (17 years old), Aku (1 6 years old) and Du (/kloc-0).
All the above suspects are minors. There are many reasons why they embarked on the road of crime, including the following:
First, the bad influence of family. Three of the seven families have divorced, and several others are also negligent in discipline. Some teenagers' parents' marriage foundation is poor or even distorted, and their children suffer from family civil war prematurely. Due to the lack of family affinity, children in single-parent families are prone to inferiority complex, forming a withdrawn character, and most of them are introverted and precocious. Coupled with some negative social effects, it is likely to develop bad habits and anti-social awareness and go astray. On the other hand, other families spoil their children, which leads them to be spoiled and unruly. There are also some rude education, often swearing and corporal punishment, so that children can develop rebellious psychology.
Second, school education is too one-sided, paying too much attention to the level of academic performance and ignoring the ideological and moral education for teenagers. The young people educated in this way have uneven development.
Third, the bad influence of society. At the beginning of life, human nature is good. Minors are like a blank sheet of paper, and society is a painter. The growth of children often depends on the social environment. Various unhealthy phenomena in society have caused many negative effects on children. Because minors are not completely stable psychologically and mature ideologically, they lack the ability of adults to analyze, judge and distinguish right from wrong for those negative and unhealthy things, full of fantasies, like excitement and blindly imitate and copy. Make it produce distorted world outlook, outlook on life and values, and then produce various anti-social behaviors. Coupled with the weak concept of the legal system, influenced by ideas such as money and pleasure, vanity is strong, control is poor, and it is easy to go to extremes, leading to crime.
Fourth, the weaknesses of minors themselves.
From their own point of view, the ignorance and weak legal consciousness of minors are the important reasons for their going into the abyss. First, physical development and psychological development are not coordinated. With the improvement of material living standards, teenagers' physical development is accelerated, but their psychological development and formation are quite lagging behind, which is generally manifested as weak self-control and frustration tolerance. Second, the cognitive ability is low and the discrimination ability is poor. Teenagers are active in thinking and good at imitation, but their ability to understand and distinguish things is relatively poor, their concept of right and wrong is not strong, the boundaries between illegal and criminal acts are unclear, and they are easy to cross the line and even commit crimes. The third is to make friends in disorder and go astray. Many minors are in cahoots because of careless friends, dragged down by bad people, commit crimes together and endanger society.
With the progress of society and the development of economy, children's lives have become more superior now. However, it is these superior conditions that, while benefiting children, may also bring adverse effects to children. If used improperly, children who grow up under such conditions may lack some psychological qualities that are extremely important for their lifelong development. We can look at the following examples first.
A college girl jumped off a building that night because she sang out of tune at a gala, which caused the whole audience to laugh!
1In September 1995, a 0/5-year-old girl from a key middle school in Beijing was criticized for calling her teacher "fat" and attempted suicide, resulting in lifelong disability.
1996, the joint investigation team of the National Committee for Juvenile Delinquency, China Youth Daily and Children's Research Institute of China Youth Research Center conducted a large-scale questionnaire survey among primary and secondary school students in China. In the survey of "Your Main Shortcomings", among16,350 pupils surveyed, 3 1.2% chose "cowardice", which is the first shortcoming; Among 5560 middle school students, 28.2% chose "cowardice", which is the third shortcoming. A recent survey shows that the suicide rate of children and adolescents in China is on the rise; Answering "What should I do if I encounter difficulties?" At that time, 97% of primary and secondary school students thought of looking for parents or teachers, rather than trying to solve them themselves.
In view of this, the author calls on the whole society to pay attention to children's legal and moral education and give them a healthy growth environment.
(5) This is a question I prepared in the offensive and defensive links of the debate a few days ago. Because I think this question that took me some brains to come up with is really good, I took it out specially, hoping to help everyone's thinking development. If you have any good ideas and opinions, please bring them up for discussion, but please don't attack your life and don't be too attached to it.
Our rule is: the attacker can only ask questions in the offensive and defensive stage, and is not allowed to explain his own views. Defenders can only answer questions, and are not allowed to ask questions or ignore the other party's questions. Other rules are the same as the general debate.
Our argument: setbacks are not conducive to success.
The opponent's turn: frustration is conducive to success.
The following are the questions when we attack and argue:
For a musician, the biggest disaster is hearing impairment. Even the great musician Beethoven, when he was 32 years old, his hearing problems became more and more serious. Coupled with the disappointment of love, he even had the idea of suicide and wrote a will. But this double spiritual crisis finally vanished under the fire of music in his heart.
Then, I want to ask my opponent, is deafness a setback for musicians?
(First of all, no matter any question, only the other party is allowed to answer "yes" or "no". As far as this question is concerned, as long as the other party doesn't answer directly, or wants to comment on the example I just cited, you should immediately interrupt the other party and say, "Please answer my question directly. Is deafness a setback for a musician? " Please answer yes or no. "I asked this question very tricky, and the other party could only answer' forget it'. If the other party has to answer "no", it will first leave a bad impression on the audience and the judges, because this is an obvious question. )
(If the other person answers "no", that's good. You can then ask, "So, what is a setback?" . Because the other party meant "deafness is not a musician's frustration", at this time, the other party's definition of "frustration" can't be established anyway. Such an answer undoubtedly ruined the whole game for them. So no matter what the other person thinks, they can only answer "forget it". )
So is deafness conducive to music creation?
This problem is as difficult as the last one. If the other party has to answer "favorable", good. First, you can make fun of him. "Then, I can ask another debater, is deaf people's hearing better than normal people?" ; Second, "since the other debater thinks so, I don't think I need to ask any more questions." In this way, no matter whether you deal with it in either of the above two ways, there is no need to talk to the other person again, because the judges and the audience will boo him. Ditto, no matter what the other party thinks, they can only answer "unfavorable". )
Then, may I ask another debater, if we want to succeed, do we have to constantly experience setbacks?
Although this problem is not as difficult as the first two, from the other side's point of view, there is basically no choice. If the other party has to answer "No" or the other party answers "If you don't give an explanation immediately", you can immediately interrupt the other party "Thank you for your answer and your affirmation of our point of view. My question is over. " From the other person's point of view, the basic answer can only be "yes". )
Ask the other debater if everyone can get up when they encounter setbacks.
The obvious answer is of course "no". If he dares to answer "yes", it is as wide of the mark as the second question. At this time, use (1) to attack the other party's definition of "frustration". )
Then, for those who get up, is the key to their success "their mentality and methods when facing setbacks" or "setbacks themselves"?
If the other person answers "frustration itself", then he contradicts the previous answer. Just attack with (2) questions. )
⑥ Is "frustration itself" the same as "one's mentality and method when facing setbacks"?
By the sixth question, your purpose has been basically achieved, and it doesn't matter how the other person answers. Because you have proved with the other person's answer that "frustration itself" is not conducive to our success and growth. Secondly, your sixth question puts forward a concept that "frustration itself" is not the same as "the mentality and methods of a face team when frustrated". Moreover, judging from a series of previous problems, the other party has been trapped in this designed "cage". Whether the other party is convinced or not, at least in this round of debate, you have let the audience and the judges stand on your side.
If the other person answers "no". Good, you can end it. "Thank you for your answer. My question is over. "
If the other person answers "Yes". Then, he was as contradictory as before. "I think it's very strange. Another debater replied that what makes people get up from setbacks is' one's mentality when facing setbacks', not' setbacks themselves'. Now it tells us that the two are the same concept. The other debater is so contradictory that I don't think I need to ask again. "
This is the end of the question. But in the free debate stage, you can also extend the other party's answer to prove your argument, for the whole game. The ingenious design of this concept is absolutely wonderful.
This example of asking questions just tells you an idea and a way of asking questions. Don't ask any mindless questions that you think are untenable or irrelevant in the debate. It's best to be interlocking, so that the other party has no choice but to follow in your footsteps. For some examples of the other side, don't blindly follow the other side's point of view, but look at it from another angle. Things are often not only absolute. Be careful about the examples used to prove your point of view, and don't let the other side have an opportunity. Just like the Beethoven incident mentioned in this example, it may seem beneficial to the other side on the surface, but from another angle, the impact on others is completely different.
(6) As far as talent growth is concerned, it can be divided into prosperity and adversity. Prosperity provides all kinds of convenient conditions and is conducive to the growth of talents, but adversity is often a situation that talents often encounter and must face correctly. Many thinkers in ancient China thought that "it is difficult to go to the sky", and the Wei school even said: "If you go against it, you will live, and if you go with it, you will die; Reverse is sacred, and shun is crazy; The vegetation is not frost and snow, and the cause is not solid; If people are not worried, they are not wise. " He thinks that only adversity can make success, which is very one-sided. However, it is an indisputable fact that the phenomenon of success in adversity embodies some regularity in righteousness.
First, the analysis of the reasons for the bad growth of talents
(a) the specific historical conditions and social and political system.
Times can create heroes, but also stifle and hinder the progress and emergence of some talents, resulting in the adversity of talent growth. The lack of demand for military talents in times of peace and prosperity is not conducive to the development of people's military talents, and it is a social "adversity" for the growth of military talents; In the era of social revolution, armed struggle or world disintegration, people with military talents came into being to show their ambitions. However, in this era, talents with scientific and technological talent and literary expertise are often faced with the unfavorable situation that there is no way to serve the country by studying. It can be seen that the "status quo" also has a negative side to the growth of specific talents.
Judging from the five social forms experienced by human beings, feudal system and theocracy are the most unfavorable to the growth of talents, and they are also the most destructive to talents. In medieval Europe, the military personnel system was centered on feudal family status, and the status of officers was the hereditary privilege of a few nobles, which blocked the channels for a large number of civilians and their children to become officers and display and give play to their military talents. After Sui and Tang Dynasties, the imperial examination system in China was actually a trap that restricted people from giving full play to their talents. Because of life, the broad masses of workers lost the opportunity to study, and it was impossible for them to take part in the imperial examination and leave their jobs. In the Ming and Qing Dynasties, eight-part essay was used to select scholars, and candidates could only draw a gourd ladle to speak for the ancients, but could not have independent thoughts. The imperial examination system has become a shackle that binds people to become talents. I want to know how many talents are buried in this institutional adversity.
(2) Backward ideas and old habits.
Some old ideas and habits in the history of our country have caused all kinds of adversity, which still fetters the growth and progress of talents. The first is about the habitual adversity of seniority. Whether a highly respected and talented person can enter his position depends on his qualifications. "Fools and sages are all qualified", and promotion must be "ranked according to qualifications, one term after another". The junior should obey the arrangement, endure hardships for many years, and even be buried in the soil for a long time. The second is the interpersonal adversity of jealous talents. In an environment full of jealousy, it is difficult for talents to stand out. Even if you have achievements, you will not feel a sense of accomplishment, but you will feel "heart-warming". Some people don't allow talents to stand out, and even some leaders lack due tolerance. They would rather let talented people be abandoned in vain than let them "show their faces", resulting in potential talents being "stuck by dragons and lying with tigers" Third, close and conservative social, cultural and psychological adversity. China's traditional culture regards conservative and introverted psychological character as the virtue of self-esteem. Philosophy of life such as "It is better to hide than to be smart" and "Don't teach others to swim" are out of the need of so-called "self-esteem". For example, young talents have suggestions and ideas about their work, academic research and opinions, and even have doubts about some authoritative conclusions, but they don't show traces, because once they make jokes, they will be humiliated, despised and lose their "self-esteem." As a result, how many insights have been erased and how many creations can be stillborn? Inappropriate emphasis on self-esteem is tantamount to creating mental shackles and psychological adversity for yourself.
(3) The development of talents is unbalanced.
In the long-distance race, people who rush ahead often bear greater wind resistance or headwind. In the same way, the development and progress of talents, once someone becomes famous or even a public figure, the society and people around him pay more attention to it, expect more from it and demand more harshly, which invisibly forms a kind of pressure, which can also be called a kind of "prosperity".
Another is the adversity caused by Matthew effect: because of the different progress of talent growth, outstanding talents who are ahead are easily recognized by organizations and society and won honors and rewards; Those unknown potential talents are difficult to be recognized, and are often trapped in the "Matthew effect" and adversity. "Matthew effect" often promotes the development of outstanding talents at the expense of the development of potential talents, thus depriving the development opportunities and possibilities of potential talents. Through this "deprivation" mechanism, "Matthew effect" plays an artificial obstacle to the growth of potential talents, not only suppressing talents, but also burying talents.