It turns out that someone in their community is drunk, so just call him Mr. C. In the community owner WeChat group, he named Mr. B, swearing at various countries, and he posted it in the group without any scruples. He asked Mr. B to come out and have a fight with him.
Here's the story. Mr. B once parked his car in Mr. C's parking space, and then Mr. B found that his car was scratched. He checked the video of the community and found that he was scratched by a little girl when he was parked in Mr. C's parking space. Mr. B decided that the little girl was Mr. C's daughter, so Mr. B angrily went to talk to Mr. C's wife.
The misunderstanding began like this. In fact, that little girl is not Mr. C's daughter at all. Mr. B was wrong about Mr. C. Mr. C was accused and framed by the other party because the parking space was occupied.
With the power of wine, the anger in your heart grows stronger and stronger. The monologue lasted until six o'clock in the morning, and he scolded for more than three minutes. No one dares to do anything, and dare not imagine the consequences of the other party's rebuttal.
I joked with my colleagues that your community avoided a murder case and your anger was vented. There should be no follow-up news.
Looking at the whole story, I can't help thinking. Why do people get angry so easily Can anger solve the problem? Is it difficult to quell anger?
People are not naturally angry, but irritable. Every negative emotion has its emotional origin, that is to say, there must be a trigger point for anger and irritability, and a devil will haunt you.
Emotional experts say that some people feel angry and disgusted with others because the negative emotions accumulated in the past have been detonated in some situations.
Growing up, there are always things that make you dissatisfied and unhappy. For example, parents' partiality, sibling fights, teachers' unfairness, friends' betrayal and hypocrisy, and setbacks in study and work will all leave some negative effects in our hearts, and once these origins are triggered, we will easily lose control of our emotions.
Although we always told ourselves that we must not be angry with our parents and children's lovers next time, we still couldn't help ourselves at that time.
What happened to us? What's worth fighting for?
Wu mentioned a case in his book Don't be the master of emotions. A wife is worried about her husband's leg disease and often nags him to see a doctor, but he thinks it is unnecessary. Over time, this concern has become a strict order, which makes her husband uncomfortable, more and more silent, and there are more and more contradictions between the two sides.
Later, Wu's wife found it, and under her guidance, she found the emotional root of her anxiety and anger. It turned out that when she was young, her father died of illness, and she didn't want to lose the person she loved the most, so this worry gradually turned into a curse.
Everyone who loves to be angry and is always angry has his emotional roots. We must find the crux, make emotional adjustment and untie the emotional shackles.
The fairy tale Angry Arthur tells the story of Arthur, a little boy who always loses his temper. One night, he wanted to go to the movies. Because it was too late, his mother disagreed and ordered him to go to bed at once.
He was angry and threatened his mother. If you don't show it to him, he will be angry. His mother ignored him. Then Arthur began to get angry. His anger was like a whirlwind, which overturned the roof and then turned into a tornado that swept the whole city. Despite his family's advice, Arthur became more and more angry and eventually tore the earth and the universe apart. Watching everything fall apart, Arthur sat on Mars and thought, why on earth should he be so angry?
Sometimes, we don't even know why we are angry. A kind of unprovoked anger rises from Ran Ran's heart, erupts out of control and can't be suppressed.
Traditional Chinese medicine believes that anger hurts the liver, and modern research shows that anger will accelerate people's blood flow and may induce angina pectoris; Anger can make people lose their appetite; Anger will deposit toxins in people's bodies, which is easy to grow spots; Anger can lead to endocrine disorders; Anger makes human endotoxin rise, which leads to abnormal blood sugar and damages the liver; Anger will accelerate the aging of brain cells and make people get old easily; Long-term anger will inhibit the body's immunity.
Anger not only has immeasurable influence on physical and mental health, but also may cause irreparable regret.
How many tragedies happen in anger and how many tragedies happen in anger.
We should realize that anger is to punish ourselves for other people's mistakes.
Why waste precious time being angry with others or yourself? Life is short, there are too many people and time to cherish.
1. Calm anger through self-suggestion and self-reflection.
Lin Zexu is a man with a bad temper. He realized the harm this emotion did to himself and others, and he wanted to conquer it. So he wrote down the word "control anger" and hung it in his living room to remind himself to control anger from time to time.
Once, he suddenly flew into a rage, grabbed the cup on the table and fell to the ground. Then he looked up and saw those two words. He woke up in an instant, immediately stopped the servant who came to clean up, and began to clean up his broken teacup himself.
We vented our anger and got a temporary relief. But have we ever thought about the influence of anger on us? The broken teacup can't be restored in any case.
Anger is a double-edged sword. When it hurts others, it will inevitably hurt itself. There is a saying: Anger begins with stupidity and ends with regret. Life is only a few decades, so why haggle over every ounce?
2. Be gentle.
Psychologist Dr. Higl was seeing a patient when an angry psychopath suddenly came in and attacked Dr. Higl. Dr Higl stood up calmly, looked him in the eye, and said to him kindly with a smile: I love you. In an instant, the patient stopped being angry, stopped attacking and turned away.
No anger can resist this gentle knife and smiling arrow. Why don't we use this knife and arrow to spell out a beautiful, calm, safe and peaceful world?
Leave the scene temporarily, take a deep breath and find someone to talk to.
Just two days ago, the quiet owners in our community were also busy. First, Sister A forwarded the news circulating on the Internet that eating watermelon will lead to XX virus, please be careful.
The group owner immediately told Sister A that rumors could not be made in the group. Then, Mr. B came out to refute the group owner. Why did he conclude that it was a rumor? The group owner also said, don't send messages that have nothing to do with community construction and maintenance. Mr. B also said that people's livelihood has nothing to do with the community.
The group owner said: OK, you can talk slowly, I quit the group. The group owner really quit the group right away. With the new owner, everyone knows very well that we can't send messages indiscriminately. At this time, Mr. B became angry again and said that there was no freedom of speech at all. This group is not important. Then he quit the group.
It happened so suddenly that I felt like I was watching a farce, which made a mountain out of a molehill. Shakespeare said, don't set yourself on fire because of the anger ignited by the enemy.
Although there are no enemies, how can we control our instinctive anger when someone refutes, slanders and attacks us? There is a famous saying that the best medicine for anger is procrastination. Instead of standing on the cusp, it is better to immediately divert your attention, leave the scene for a while, take a deep breath, find someone to talk to, vent your emotions, and give an outlet for bad emotions.
4. Improve self-cultivation.
Anger is an instinct, and controlling anger is a skill.
Reading thousands of books and overlooking everything in the world, is it so important to win or lose at one time? This is just a long way in life, a trivial experience.
We should have good self-cultivation and good mentality. What is there to be angry about? Is there anything we can't overcome? Letting go of obsession and grasping happiness is the best choice in life.
Anger is made up of "slave+heart". I have to say that the charm of China's writing is infinite. Is this "anger" like a slave's mentality or a slave's heart? Anyway, let go of obsession, don't care, don't be serious, don't compare, and finally untie the shackles of anger.