What is mambo?
The word "Bao Ma Nan" is often used to describe a man who has unhealthy dependence on his mother. He has grown up and should be independent and self-reliant. In order to recognize that someone may be a sign of Ma Bao, it is important to be able to recognize some signs of unhealthy borders. Signs of unclear boundaries include having to check with others before making a decision, having unrealistic or destructive demands on time, and being financially dependent on others.
Healthy boundary
It is easy for you to say no.
Be honest with your feelings and needs.
Independence and self-reliance
Unhealthy boundaries
Can not refuse
It's hard to be honest with feelings and needs.
dependence
What negative psychological problems may Ma Baonan have?
Although the healthy connection between mother and child is very important, boundary problems and dependence may bring problems to your relationship or marriage. Some negative effects may include that he relies too much on his mother and ignores his own needs and wishes. This will eventually lead to disgust and communication difficulties.
How to deal with boundary problems
If your partner has marital problems because of unhealthy boundaries, then you can do something to improve the situation. Some things you should try include:
Establish clear boundaries
Your man may be used to letting his mother meet all his needs, but that doesn't mean you need them. It's important that you set boundaries and let him know that you won't cater to him like your mother. When he is with his mother, he can act like a boy at will, but when he is with you, he should act like an independent adult and take care of himself. He may manipulate you into submission, so when he accuses you of not loving him, you need to firmly defend your boundaries and stand.
Maintain independent space
If he is a baby boy, you will have a lot of trouble living with your parents. Mother-child relationship is likely to steal your relationship with him. He is likely to take his mother's side on every issue so as not to upset her. When you have differences, he may even go to his mother to complain. Even if you don't live with your mother-in-law, she can do these things, but living separately will help.
Avoid confronting ...
It's not good for you to find your mother-in-law, argue with her and make her back down. If you want to talk to others about your situation, the person you need to talk to is your husband. However, don't criticize with anger. You can explain to her that you both need time to establish contact and grow.
Make your own choices
You need to tell your lover that you don't want your mother-in-law to be his decision-maker, nor do you want her mother-in-law to make choices for husband and wife's life. Don't bring his mother into your marriage, it will only bring differences and trouble.
Unless you ask your mother-in-law directly, she should not participate in your family decision-making about finance, career path, child care or other issues.