The psychology of not contacting parents for a long time, many children become more alienated from their parents as they grow up, especially some children leave their parents, leave home, are completely released, are no longer willing to contact their parents actively, and will not contact their parents for a long time.
The psychology of not contacting parents for a long time is 1.
My colleague's daughter, obedient since childhood, gets along well with her parents and gets good grades. Last year, she went to a 985 university in other provinces. In the first two months after I left home, I often called home and contacted my parents. But since the second semester, I haven't contacted my parents at all on weekdays except when I ask them for money. Parents call to send WeChat and often don't answer it. At first, they will reply to a message, either in class or not. Later, they simply didn't reply to the news. Her mother is very worried about her and asks her more about her study and life at school. I didn't expect her to directly hack her mother's WeChat.
When a child goes to college, he breaks away from the bondage of his family and enjoys a free space. He really hates his parents asking questions, taking care of her and doing everything according to their wishes. Parents' excessive concern has become control in children's eyes, and it is even more rebellious. Parents might as well let nature take its course. Children naturally have school management at school. Parents will naturally take the initiative to contact, take the initiative to let go and deliberately let go, and live a good life. Perhaps it is the best choice for parents.
There are unspeakable difficulties.
The son of a relative, in his thirties, has been working in a coastal city in the south since he graduated from college. He only goes home once every two or three years and never calls his parents on his own initiative all the year round. He is indifferent to his parents' lives. Parents in their sixties stay in the countryside to do farm work. They are not only worried about their son who works outside the home, but also want to get warmth and security from his son.
As an adult son, is he really heartless and completely irresponsible? The root is not here! The young man is in his thirties and has never found a girlfriend. Every time he calls home to contact his parents, he can't escape the topic of "urging marriage". Parents don't understand why their son has never found a girlfriend, and he always compares other children. The son has difficulties, but he can't explain them clearly to his parents. He works hard alone in other places, has no house, no car and no savings, so it is not easy to find a girlfriend to get married. What's more, boys are science and engineering, and few girls go to work. He is not good at words and communication, and his interpersonal relationship is very narrow, but he is unwilling to find a blind date to marry in his hometown. A lifelong event can only be postponed.
Every time I contact my family, I always feel that I can't explain to my parents, and my parents are adamant and chattering, so the boy can only avoid his parents and stop contacting his family. Faced with such a situation, parents should understand their children more. In life-long events, it is meaningless to put pressure on them blindly, which can create better conditions for them, and can also appropriately create opportunities for children to contact the opposite sex and concentrate on doing their own things. In addition, they should relax and be more open-minded, and their children and grandchildren will be happy. Worrying too much will not only help, but also make family relations and feelings with children stiff.
Life is not satisfactory.
A distant cousin worked in the south when she was young, found a boyfriend in the north, and then married far away. My parents in my hometown are old and miss my daughter far away, but my daughter doesn't go home to visit her parents for three or five years, and she doesn't take the initiative to call her parents on holidays, and even breaks off personnel relations with her relatives in my hometown. The elderly parents were very sad and told everyone that they had raised a daughter for nothing.
However, in fact, after the cousin got married, the man's family conditions were very general. The couple started from scratch and worked day and night on the construction site to earn money. Life is hard and hard. I seldom communicate with my parents, mainly because of family difficulties. I have no money to go back to my hometown to visit my parents, and I don't want my parents to know that I am not doing well. I slowly lost contact with my hometown.
In recent years, under the care of the national poverty alleviation policy, my cousin's family conditions have gradually improved and the days have become more and more prosperous. Every year, I go back to my hometown to visit my parents, and gradually have personal contacts with my relatives in my hometown.
Therefore, from the perspective of parents, sometimes it is necessary to know more about the actual situation of children, not to blame blindly, but to understand and understand. After all, we are all a family, and tolerance is the best fusion agent.
Psychology of not contacting parents for a long time 2 Why do more and more college students not contact their parents actively?
First, there is not enough time.
Compared with senior three, the academic burden is less, but it is still very heavy. College students should not only learn professional knowledge well, but also participate in various campus activities, such as student unions and clubs, which take up a lot of personal time. Some students have to take some qualification certificates themselves, which is also time-consuming. There are also some college students who are busy falling in love, so they naturally have less time to contact their parents.
Second, college students and their parents lack common topics.
After going to college, children have their own lives and ideas, and they are exposed to more things. The university campus is also rich and interesting, and children are addicted to pursuing a free and independent life. When you get in touch with your parents, you always say that some parents are short-talking, and the same topic is not much. After several contacts, some children will find it boring to chat with their parents, so they will not take the initiative to contact their parents.
Third, the long-term parent-child relationship is not good to form a state of getting along.
Sometimes children are reluctant to take the initiative to contact their parents because the parent-child relationship is relatively cold since childhood, which is a habit caused by the way children get along with their parents. Before going to college, children can often go home, so parents will naturally not feel estranged from their children and will not miss them too much. After going to college, some students who have a bad relationship with their parents will escape contact with their parents and live their own lives, which is the result of long-term accumulation of contradictions between the two sides.
After children go to college, they will gradually have their own lives and circles. Parents should learn to adapt to such changes and be clear about these reasons.
First, parents should adapt to the growth and changes of their children.
Parents should let their children adapt to not contacting themselves actively and learn to accept their children's changes. Children will have their own pursuits and consciousness when they grow up. Even if your child doesn't take the initiative to contact himself, don't be too sad and don't expect too much from your child.
Second, we should take the initiative to contact children and let them feel the love of their parents.
Although children don't think of their parents, when parents are free, they can also pick up the phone and contact them to convey their thoughts and teach them some truth. Parents should silently care for their children behind their backs, support them, be their strong backing, and let them travel bravely. I believe that when children are more mature, they will certainly understand their parents' good intentions and take the initiative to be filial to their parents.
Third, we should guide children to grow up in a healthy direction.
Although children don't touch themselves, parents can't relax their education. After going to college, parents should also take the initiative to contact their children, guide them to establish correct values, and educate them not to waste time.
Parents play an important role in children's growth. Children go to college, their wings grow, and their parents slowly learn to let go. Children need to cultivate independent ability, and parents need to adapt to the changes of children's growth. Both sides should adjust their psychological state and play their roles well, so that family relations will be harmonious and children will grow up healthily.
Psychology of not contacting parents for a long time 3 Why do some children lose contact with their parents as they get older?
Parents are too strict with their children.
When children are young, parents are strict representatives in front of them. Parents are powerful and omnipotent, and everything they do is right, so children must listen to their parents. But when the child grows up, he will understand sooner or later that parents are actually just ordinary people, not so powerful and authoritative, and worthy of worship. Parents are close to their children, and children will still be close to their parents. However, if parents and children hesitate to be close enough, children will lift their worship of their parents, and the relationship with their parents will naturally become farther and farther away.
Parents don't respect their children and care too much.
No matter how young a child is, he has self-esteem, so he needs the respect of his parents. Some parents regard their children as their own and think that you were born to me, so you have no privacy in front of me and I can do whatever I want. Although many times parents are good for their children, in their children's hearts, they will be insulted because they are looked down upon.
He will alienate his parents from his heart. Once he has the ability, he wants to stay as far away from his parents as possible. When children grow up, they finally understand their parents' pains. They want to be close to their parents but can't find a way, because parents are always more concerned about topics that children don't want to talk about, such as how to find a job, how much money they earn a month, whether they have a girlfriend, when to get married and when to have children.
Lack of communication with children
Children grow up and alienate their parents. Of course, there is a very important problem, that is, communication. Some parents don't communicate with their children very much when they are young. Children have aspirations or are wronged and want to tell their parents. They never get the understanding and comfort of their parents, and all they get is a sermon. When children grow up, their concepts of life and consumption are different. Many things have to be kept from their parents, otherwise they will be trained. When children want to buy things for their parents, parents will not feel happy, and will say, why don't you give me the money and I will save it for you.