When we grasp the root of cultivating behavior habits, we grasp the most effective way of family education, which is the most fundamental task of family education. We should bear in mind that family is the school to cultivate habits, and parents are the teachers to cultivate habits. Children's education is to cultivate good habits, and cultivating good habits can cultivate children's healthy personality.
First, the importance of cultivating good habits.
A bad habit will make people lose opportunities; And a good habit can make people tend to succeed. The cultivation of good habits cannot be preaching, but requires parents to master scientific educational methods and practice them according to their laws. According to the research of American psychologists, it takes 2 1 day to form a habit initially and 90 days to form a stable habit.
Professor Sun Yunxiao, who has been engaged in the research of youth education for more than 40 years, found that the success of 148 outstanding young people was due to their concentrated development of six habits in their childhood: self-reliance, strong will, friendly cooperation and distinguishing right from wrong.
On the contrary, in the investigation of the criminal causes of 1 15 young prisoners on death row, it is found that they have the same habit characteristics in their childhood: weariness of learning, rudeness, indolence, desperate hegemony, confusion of right and wrong, and unclear honor and disgrace.
Comparing the above two situations, it is obvious that the significant difference between them is the result of different habits. Good habits benefit for life, while bad habits make people suffer for life. Of course, some deep-rooted habits, good or bad, are almost all related to education, but we ignore these problems. Many parents pay too much attention to their children's homework, grades and rankings, but ignore the education of good habits. In fact, a person's habits may be more important.
For example, in 20 10/month, the international special training class of the University of Pennsylvania selected outstanding high school students from China to study in the United States. In the enrollment interview, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania asked an Olympic mathematics winner, "Why do you read so well?" The student replied, "It's to make money." The professor asked again, "What is the purpose of making money?" He said, "Go around the world!" The professor asked, "What else do you want to do besides traveling around the world?" He replied: You can also buy a house ... Finally, the professor eliminated this excellent Olympian! The main reason is: "Students don't give back to society, but we want to cultivate people who are valuable to society." This shows the importance of cultivating a sound personality.
Second, how to cultivate children's good habits
In order to deeply explore the relationship between children's behavior habits and personality, the School of Psychology of Beijing Normal University sent six doctors of psychology and several master students to Beijing 1 1 primary school for a one-year investigation. On the basis of research and experiments, it is necessary to cultivate the following five good habits, which are considered as the cornerstone of a healthy personality.
0 1, determine the specifications.
"Book of Rites Guan Yi" said: "The reason why mortals are human is courtesy." What is a person? People are less and less savage, more and more civilized and adapt to the development of society. Any educated and polite child will always be praised and liked by others everywhere. Of course, this is inseparable from the careful training of parents from an early age.
In short, what kind of parents and children. Without the joint efforts of parents and children, it is impossible to form a good habit from an early age. It also needs parents' scientific educational methods and children's unremitting efforts to practice.
There are no rules, Fiona Fang. In fact, village rules, family rules, school rules and class rules formulated in daily life are all ways to form good habits. Similarly, the healthy growth of children should not be too capricious, and they also need to follow certain rules.
02. Change the world of adults for children.
It is important to cultivate children's good habits. The biggest difficulty is that parents, even grandparents, and perhaps teachers may have many bad habits themselves. We need to improve our own faults that are not as good as the law and learn and grow with our children.
If parents are strict with their children and lenient with themselves, it is certainly impossible to cultivate children with good habits. Parents must set an example, take the initiative to play an exemplary role, influence and influence their children with their own practical actions, and then let their children develop good habits of self-interest and altruism in a good atmosphere.
03. Respect children's rights and let them fully participate.
The cultivation of good habits should be guided by a healthy personality. First of all, we should respect the children's status as masters. Because real education is self-education and children are masters, we should give full play to their main role. It is particularly important that the highest state of habit formation is to form people's own needs, not external coercion.
Children's participation can improve their status in the family and society, which is also a respect for their personality. Although young, they also have their own dignity and personality. To cultivate children's good habits, we should discuss with them: Do you need and are you willing to cultivate this habit? Parents only need to give their children the right to choose and let them really cultivate good habits.
04. Personalization of habit training is higher than skill training.
The better and higher realm of habit training is personalization. What is anthropomorphic habit? That is, behavior habits are personality-oriented. Personality is the sum of psychological and behavioral characteristics. Personalization is not a simple skill. Of course, skill is also very important, but we should pay attention to a misunderstanding. In the habit-forming behavior training, we should not tend to pure skills.
Six steps to cultivate children's good habits
Step 1: Raise awareness. Let children feel the importance of habits and take the initiative to develop good habits.
Step 2: Define the specifications. Discuss and negotiate with your child, set training goals, develop good habits in three months, and don't be greedy.
The third step: example education. It will be better to take outstanding figures as learning examples and carry out example education in various ways.
Step 4: Keep training. Behavior habits need long-term cultivation. Analysis, evaluation and guidance are essential links.
Step 5: Evaluate in time. The process of habit cultivation needs evaluation, encouragement and guidance in various ways, and children need timely praise.
Step 6: Image environment. Create a good learning environment for children and implement clear rewards and punishments. This is of great significance to the formation of good habits.
Third, the premise of cultivating children is to improve the educational quality of parents.
In today's era, how we should be a qualified parent is a question worth pondering. Are parents with high education, high income and high status sure to educate their children well? Not necessarily. Ordinary workers and peasants can also educate their children well. In fact, the most important thing in educating children is not their academic qualifications and social status, but their own educational quality.
The strong have no weak. It is true that there must be good parents behind a good child. Without high-quality parents and teachers, it is difficult and tortuous to cultivate high-quality children.
Zhao Zhongxin, a professor at Beijing Normal University, said: Early childhood education is the foundation, the foundation is the foundation, and the foundation is to bear the weight of a lifetime. It is impossible to lay a solid foundation just by learning knowledge and skills. Therefore, the most important thing in family education is the influence of parents on their children's personality.
Qualified parents need to have five elements: first, modern educational concept; Second, scientific educational methods; The third is a healthy psychology; Fourth, a good lifestyle; Fifth, equal and harmonious parent-child relationship. These five elements constitute the educational quality of modern parents.
In short, we should have awe of children, because they are growing giants. Of course, if not properly guided, children may become disabled or even sinners. Educator Montessori believes that the key to developing children's personality lies in himself. He has a process of development and a law that must be observed. The idea that adults want to replace God is the reason why all future generations suffer. So there is no education without respect.