Keywords emotion; Regulate emotions; Emotional experience
China Library Classification Number D9 Document Identification Number A Document Number1673-9671-(2010) 032-0119-01.
Emotion is the experience of people's attitude towards objective things and the reflection of whether people's needs are met.
People are not indifferent when they understand and transform the world. People often have different attitudes towards things around them. Some phenomena may make people happy, while others may make people sad, angry and even afraid. Happiness, sadness, anger and fear are all common emotional experiences.
College students are a special group. They are active in thinking and enthusiastic, but their emotions are prone to fluctuations and setbacks. Sometimes they lack understanding of the complexity of things and tend to go to extremes. Especially with the reform of national enrollment, fees and employment system, the competitive pressure of students is increasing day by day. In this environment, some students encounter some unpleasant things or emotional troubles, and their emotions fall into a trough, and they can't extricate themselves, and even have some extreme behaviors.
As college students, we should learn to be responsible for ourselves. Everyone has the responsibility and obligation to love himself and make his life more happy and less troublesome. Therefore, in daily study and life, we should consciously manage our emotions and make ourselves a person with high emotional intelligence.
1 Maintain an optimistic attitude towards life and study.
Maybe we all thought that every day was a familiar and patterned life. Gradually, we felt that life was boring, with less happiness and more troubles. In fact, as long as we learn to arrange our own day from today, you will find that happiness is actually very simple.
1. 1 Good at interpersonal communication.
Good interpersonal relationships will naturally make us optimistic and happy. Lonely people and unsociable people are unhappy because they lack communication with others. When they have troubles, they have nowhere to talk, and they have something to say in their hearts, so they will feel unhappy.
1.2 Participate in beneficial entertainment activities.
For example, playing chess, playing cards, all kinds of ball games, salons, socializing ... This will keep our mood in a peaceful state, and it is also a spiritual sustenance. These activities can not only make many friends, but also cultivate our sentiment and change our mood when we are in trouble and depressed.
1.3 Learn to love others
We should learn to actively help others in life. Some people who feel inferior and withdrawn are always happy, because they are often in a closed state, unwilling to associate with others, and even more unwilling to help others. If a person is unwilling to associate with others, others will alienate you for a long time, and then you will feel lonely and unhappy. On the contrary, if you always take the initiative to care about others, you can show your value while getting their gratitude and affirmation, and others are willing to associate with you, then you will feel that you are a happy person.
1.4 Be tolerant of people
In psychological counseling, we often meet some visitors, who say that their emotions are always unstable and fluctuating greatly, and some people always like to have a hard time with themselves, and they are always trying to deal with such people. In fact, in life and interpersonal communication, people will inevitably bump into each other and encounter contradictions. People should be tolerant, resigned and resigned. As the saying goes, "Take a step back and broaden the horizon". Most people will accept your tolerance. If you can't tolerate it, try to deal with it and take revenge, so that the tit-for-tat will never end and you won't feel happy.
1.5 Look at life correctly and dialectically.
Life is full of ups and downs. It is both sweet and bitter, but it is because life has everything that it makes sense. Generally speaking, life is completely painful and people don't want it, but life is all happiness, which is also unrealistic. Successful people at all times and in all countries also have their own troubles and even misfortunes. Facing life, we should be optimistic. When happiness comes, we must not get carried away. When misfortune comes, we should choose to be strong and face life with a smile.
1.6 Set moderate goals.
Life needs goals, both big goals (ideals) and small goals (recent work and study plans). Generally speaking, the set goals should not be too vague, otherwise it will be difficult to achieve and will lead to disappointment. Starting from ordinary things will often achieve a person's career. The so-called "how can we sweep the world without sweeping a house" is the truth.
2. Reasonably control emotions.
Aristotle said, "Anyone gets angry easily. However, it is not so easy to get angry with the right person in the right way, for the right purpose, at the right time and to the right degree. " This sentence shows that a person needs certain methods to control his emotions.
2. 1 attention transfer method
When the internal heat rises, you can consciously change the subject or do something else to distract your attention and ease your mood. Or temporarily leave the environment that arouses some emotions, avoid some people or things, and wait until you calm down and know how to deal with the problems before dealing with the problems you face. When you are a jade girl, you can relax yourself by watching movies, listening to music, playing chess, walking, fishing and climbing mountains.
2.2 vent
People's negative emotions, if not properly vented and regulated, will have a negative impact on body and mind. So, if you have unpleasant things or grievances, don't hold them in your heart, tell your intimate friends or relatives, or cry bitterly. Keeping a diary and writing an emotional composition are also good ways to vent. This kind of venting is beneficial to people's physical and mental development. Of course, the object, place, occasion and way of venting should be appropriate to avoid hurting others.
2.3 Self-consolation method
Self-consolation is to have a proper spirit of "Ah Q", give yourself a reason for failure in time to comfort yourself, just like the fox's "sour grape psychology", and maintain a good psychological balance. For example, when you are frustrated in love, you can comfort yourself: "There are plenty of fish in the sea?" When you lose the election, you can say to yourself, "winning or losing is a common occurrence in military strategists."
2.4 cognitive adjustment method
People have different understandings of the same thing, so they have different interpretations, so their emotions are different. For example, when two classmates were walking on the road, they met a classmate at work. He didn't say hello to them and went straight away. One of these two people will think like this: "He may be thinking about something and didn't see us. Even if he does, it may be another reason. " Another student thought, "Did I offend him? Does he look down on me? " In this way, the emotional and behavioral reactions of two people will be different. The former will feel that it doesn't matter at all and do what they should do. The latter may think a lot, feel depressed and can't do other things calmly.
2.5 Language adjustment methods
When you are excited, you can gently tell yourself: "Calm down", "Pay attention to your identity and influence" and suppress your emotions; You can also write banners such as "Control Anger", "Patience" and "Hard to Be Confused" in advance and put them on your desk.
2.6 Happy Memory Method
Recalling happy things in the past, or happy experiences in success, especially those related to unpleasant experiences in the present, will greatly alleviate some negative emotions.
In addition, you can cultivate your sense of humor and skillfully express your emotions with meaningful language, expressions and irony.
The ancients said, "People have joys and sorrows, and the moon is full of rain and shine." Indeed, nine times out of ten things in life are unpleasant. It is obviously inappropriate to be pessimistic, depressed or even world-weary because of a few unsatisfactory things at home or between classmates. How can there be perfect things in real life? Therefore, as long as you have a deeper understanding of society and think that there are still many people in society who are not as good as themselves, you will be calm. Today, you are in adversity and in a bad mood, but through struggle, you may succeed and get respect. Society is changing. People should adapt to the society, keep an optimistic attitude and be full of confidence in life.
refer to
Sang Qinzhi, editor of Deng Xuyang. Cultivation of College Students' Psychological Quality [M]. Shanghai: Shanghai Education Press, 2006.
[2] Huang Xiting. Introduction to psychology [M]. Beijing: People Education Press, 199 1.