? /kloc-August of 0/0 (the 10th day of the seventh lunar month) is the anniversary of my father's death. On August 5, 20 14 (the 10th day of the seventh lunar month), my father died of illness. On this day every year, we will deeply miss our father who is far away in heaven, pray for him, place our memory on him, and wish the dead rest in peace and the living healthy and safe. At this moment, we really understand that human life is short and limited. Only after experiencing the cycle of life and death can we understand the meaning of this sentence and know how fragile and precious human life is.
? The earliest time can be traced back to 20th12, 101October 7th, the last day of the "Eleventh" holiday. Those who went out came back to prepare for work tomorrow. This afternoon, my father was hospitalized. At that time, we didn't care too much. A few days ago, everyone just celebrated his 78th birthday, and he was still very happy. I checked it in the spring, and there was nothing wrong with my body organs. During this period, he always complained of chest tightness and difficulty breathing. Over the years, he always has this phenomenon when the weather is bad. In addition, it is often said that old people are prone to get old diseases when deciduous grass germinates, so we let him lose water for a few days, and there is no improvement. On this day, he felt sick again and asked my sister to take him to the hospital for examination. The doctor only gave him an electrocardiogram, and it turned out to be a massive myocardial infarction. The family members who heard the news rushed to the hospital. The doctor said that the condition was very serious and could be life-threatening at any time. Let's be mentally prepared. But we didn't know the harm of this disease at that time. In my impression, myocardial infarction was sudden, and some of them couldn't wake up at that time. Last year, our neighbor had a sudden heart attack during the Chinese New Year, and it didn't take long for people to come back to the hospital and say that they were dying. That's a short time. Therefore, it is considered that his symptoms are not obvious, and his symptoms have nothing to do with this life-threatening disease. Even if a serious patient is admitted to the hospital, the doctor's professional habits will inform him in advance that his life will be in danger, thus reducing his responsibility. In a word, none of us realized that a catastrophe would suddenly come.
? It stands to reason that my father's illness should be in the ICU, but at that time, the hospital was in poor condition and lived in the general ward. In the evening, I thought that I was a son and should stay in the hospital, so I let my mother and sisters go home. About eight or nine o'clock, my father said that my chest hurts badly and I can't breathe. I went to the doctor's duty room to find a doctor. I heard from the nurse on duty that the doctor had an operation in the operating room. She came to see the situation and added some more. Then, not long after, something terrible happened. My father suddenly had respiratory and cardiac arrest, and the narrow ward was busy, and almost all the medical staff on duty came. They all said they were afraid of being saved, but they tried their best to save them. All available means and drugs have been used, such as chest compression, electric shock, etc. And try to rescue them. I didn't know my fear until I witnessed this terrible scene. I called all my family in a hurry. Because they may never see their living father again, he may die without saying a word, and those who are out of town will come back overnight, and all their relatives will come back. The whole family is in pain and ready to leave for life and death. I am squatting outside the ward alone, my heart is broken, full of guilt, sadness and pain, and I am condemning and cursing myself. If my father really left this time, I think I will never forgive myself. We are too indifferent to his illness. Usually, I didn't do my duty as a son. I prayed silently for my father.
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? Fortunately, God never shuts one door but he opens another. Maybe it touched God. After the doctor's hard rescue, he pulled his father back from death. He regained his breathing, heartbeat and consciousness, and his life is not in danger for the time being. We are a little relieved, but we still dare not slack off, because the doctor said that there will be repetition at any time, which is life-threatening, and our strings are very tight. The next day, although I didn't sleep a wink the night before, I was still awake in bed, thinking about the terrible scene in my mind, and I was still at ease in the hospital. Later, I took turns in the ward with my sisters every night. They were on duty the first half of the night. Basically, I went to the hospital after eleven or two in the evening. In the dead of night, I got up quietly and walked to the hospital overnight for fear of waking my sleeping mother. In the dead of night, there are basically no people on the road, only their own shadows accompany them in the moonlight. From cold dew to first frost, and then to beginning of winter. How many times have I been lying awake in the ward, staring at the numbers on the monitor and not knowing which is the heart rate and which is the breathing and blood oxygen concentration? Then these symbols and numbers seem to affect my nerves. I watched them go up and down, up and down, and in the dead of night, they made a beeping sound, which seemed particularly clear and made people feel scared and nervous. When I see that the figures are abnormal, I will call the doctor. I was so tired that I put on my clothes alone and went to the clearing in front of the ward building. The cold wind blew away my drowsiness. After a day of quarreling, the hospital calmed down temporarily, and some family members of patients like me came out to get some air to relieve boredom. Occasionally, emergency patients hurried by. At night, patients groan and breathe heavily from time to time, and children cry in the distance, which makes people feel scared and uneasy. I looked at the white moon hanging above the bare branches in the cold night sky, and the cold wind brushed the dead leaves, and the moon lost its poetic meaning.
? During this period, my father's illness repeated several times, and he was close to the end of his life several times. It was the doctor who pulled him back from death again and again. I remember another terrible night. Father's condition suddenly deteriorated and the doctor tried his best to save him. The old Christian mother knelt down and held her father's hand to pray for him. No one could help her. After getting the news, the brother-in-law who worked in the field drove back overnight and even quietly prepared a funeral for his father. Our brothers and sisters ran before and after, taking medicine and things and taking turns to take care of the old lady who shared a ward with her father. Her son worked in other places and didn't come back to take care of her. Living alone in the hospital, she felt moved by the scene, probably thinking that she had a child, but she was sick but couldn't wait on her, so she couldn't help crying.
? It's not my personal experience during this period. I haven't personally realized the shortness and fragility of life and the preciousness of family ties. My father lives in the neurology department, and there are many patients. The corridor is full of beds. It is often seen that patients are dragged into the ward by ambulances, but they can't be rescued quickly. They have passed away and their families have left in grief. One night, I saw a child who was only a teenager. He went out alone at night and had an accident. He died when he was taken to the hospital. His parents are working outside and there is no one around. So he had to hire someone to scrub his body casually and put on old clothes that didn't fit the child's figure. When his grief-stricken grandmother heard the news, she climbed on the cold ground and began to cry. She cried how to explain to the parents of the children! It is really hard to do things every day. Seeing these scenes can not help but make people cry. I still feel very sad when I think about it now.
My father stayed in the hospital for more than forty days, and then his condition was basically stable. Doctors also say that the hospital stay is long, and it is good for patients to leave the hospital for a change of environment. He has lived at home since he was discharged from the hospital, and the string in my heart is still tense all the time, for fear of making mistakes again. Although it is the middle of winter, I dare not live in my own bed upstairs at night, so I sleep on the sofa in the living room downstairs. I can get up at night and turn him over as soon as I hear anything. I once wrote the article "Spring Blossom", praising my father's tenacious vitality. It is also the tenacious vitality of my father. He miraculously survived the winter and ushered in spring. However, no matter how to retain loved ones and how to grieve, the disease is merciless after all. After struggling with the disease for nearly two years, my father died of old age and weakness, leaving us forever.
Nowadays, whenever I pass by the hospital and look at the brightly lit and crowded ward building day and night, I can't help feeling sad, sad, painful, or gratified and grateful. I often think that when we recall the past, we should be kind to today, because life is beautiful and precious, but it is limited and fragile. I hope we can be kind to ourselves, our loved ones and everyone around us.