How to shape a sound personality
First of all, while facing failure, we should learn to face success.
It is inevitable that a growing child will encounter setbacks. Almost every year, there are news that children have acted excessively because they can't accept setbacks. Therefore, society pays more and more attention to "frustration education". After reading inspirational books and positive movies, more and more children gradually realize that setbacks are not terrible, as long as they face them with a correct and positive attitude. However, Bi Shumin found that in the relationship between frustration and success, some children seem to go to the other extreme-they don't shy away from being discouraged when encountering setbacks, but they are at a loss when they get success and applause. Even some people who care about themselves have poured cold water on them before they can enjoy the happiness and joy of success: "Don't be proud" and "don't be surprised by honor and disgrace" ... From a psychological point of view, they are often "poured cold water" in front of success, which is unnecessary. As mentioned in Bi Shumin's Book of Spiritual Growth for Children: "In the harvest season, don't think about possible disaster years. We will dance and sing with our friends to express our joy. Now that the seed has repaid the sweat, we have the right to immerse ourselves in happiness. Never mind the future wind, frost, rain and snow, let's grind wheat into flour and bake a delicious bread first. " Being able to face the pain caused by setbacks and enjoy the joy brought by success is one of the compulsory courses for growth.
Second, we should not only be the guiding light on the road of children's growth, but also be a good guide.
Bi Shumin has been a doctor for more than 20 years. While treating people's physical diseases, he felt the importance of people's psychological happiness. So she went to study psychology and opened a psychological clinic after finishing her postdoctoral study. In the process of being a psychological counselor, many parents bring their children to her for psychological counseling. Bi Shumin found in the communication with parents and children that many parents don't know how to express their love to their children, and children don't know how to understand their love, so there are many misunderstandings between parents and children. In the book "Bi Shumin's Book of Spiritual Growth for Children", the author tells the real cases he encountered, and puts forward some views on the role orientation of parents in the process of children's growth by using his psychological knowledge and his work experience as a psychological consultant. Everyone in the family is an independent individual, but the growth of children needs the company of parents. Companionship does not mean monopoly, nor does it mean doing everything. Parents and children maintain positive, benign and equal communication, and a harmonious and friendly family atmosphere is the cornerstone of children's growth.
Thirdly, treat children's psychological changes in adolescence rationally.
In Bi Shumin's Book of Spiritual Growth for Children, the author, as a psychological counselor and mother, expounds her views on the psychological changes of adolescent children through many short stories of adolescent growth. Adolescence is the most rapid and obvious period for children's physical and mental changes. Children in this period hope to grow up quickly and miss their childhood. I refuse to be indoctrinated with "stale" ideas by adults, and I am eager to get their understanding and help. In interpersonal communication, they are more inclined to associate with their peers, and even regard friendship as more important than family ties. Faced with this situation, it is often difficult for parents to understand. However, these changes are important characteristics of adolescent children. In addition, adolescent children are also facing great pressure from exams and further studies. The growth of adolescence means more changes, accompanied by more anxiety and anxiety. At this time, parents pay attention to their children's academic performance, but ignore their psychological growth. In fact, adolescent children encounter psychological problems and need parents to treat them rationally and equally to help them spend their adolescence smoothly and smoothly.
How to shape a sound personality
Cultivate an acceptable attitude.
As a person with a sound personality, we should accept ourselves as well as others. Arrogant people live a very tired life alone, and arrogant people will not live a very easy life. Because he is always in danger of being abandoned by people around him. Therefore, we should acknowledge the existence value of others, sincerely feel happy for their success, and learn to share our success with others. Even if he doesn't agree with you, bless him, and you will become a popular person.
Good at accepting new things.
Including the willingness to accept new experiences, new ideas, new teaching methods and new learning methods brought about by the development of science and technology, the ability to quickly adapt to new changes in the environment, and the willingness to change the original lifestyle to adapt to and create a new life.
Establish good interpersonal relationships and integrate into the collective.
Many characteristics of a person's personality are developed from the relationship with others. To shape a sound personality, we need to establish good interpersonal relationships, respect social customs, care about the needs of others, sincerely praise, communicate with others more, and maintain self-esteem and independence. Collectivity is the soil for shaping personality and the stage for expressing personality. The process of personality development and shaping is the process of human socialization and the process of interaction between people and others, the collective and society. Personality is formed in the collective and displayed in the collective. Only in the collective can individuals obtain the means of all-round development. By interacting with others, we can see their strengths and weaknesses, gain their understanding and positive joy, and adjust the direction of personality development in time.
It's hard to prevent.
The "degree" of personality development and performance is very important, otherwise it will go too far. A person's shortcomings seem to be a continuation of his strengths. If the strengths continue to exceed their due limits and are not in the right time and place, they will become shortcomings. Therefore, it is very important to grasp the goodness in the process of personality shaping. Specifically, it should be: firm but not stubborn; Brave but not reckless; Be strong, don't be brave; Self-diagnosis without self-improvement; Self-love without narcissism; Confident but not conceited; Modesty without weakness; Cautious but not timid; Lively but not frivolous; Bold but not rude, etc. Grasping the degree of personality optimization is also reflected in: the goal of personality optimization should be based on a person's existing personality foundation and establish a reasonable and practical personality development goal realistically. In other words, the goal should be appropriate, without its own personality foundation, and the optimization goal cannot be designed out of thin air.
Actively participate in practical activities and start from small things.
Reality is the only way for personality development. Whether it is the acquisition of knowledge, the formation of ability or the tempering of will, it is inseparable from practice. A person's personality characteristics such as diligence, tenacity and meticulousness are the result of long-term practice and exercise. A person's words and deeds are often the externalization of his personality, and conversely, his daily words and deeds accumulated into habits are his personality. Therefore, to optimize personality, we should start from the small things in front of us, and countless good small things can "gather sand into a tower" and finally build a good personality building.