Guide: Don't deceive yourself. If you keep living the lies you weave, you will never see the truth about yourself, let alone live your true self. More mental health lies in the psychological network of fresh graduates.
What happened made me who I am. What is right or wrong?
I once chatted with 16-year-old daughter, and she told me that she told her classmates to be like a mother when they grew up. I asked:? What did she say? Independent, strong, always know what you want. ? I am glad that I have set a good example for my daughter, but I ask myself: Is this a natural character or an acquired answer? Both. ?
Yes, I always seem to know what I want. Although sometimes what I want is not necessarily the most suitable for me (at least it looks silly in others' eyes), then again, everything is for me. What is the difference between right and wrong?
1. Only by pursuing bravely can you live your true self.
When you know what you want and have enough courage to pursue it, you can live your true self. Once, the media asked me in an interview:? If someone asks you? What kind of person is Zhang Defen? How would you describe yourself to others? Live bravely! ?
Looking back on my career in the past 50 years, I think fear is the most important factor to stop us from living high live There is a saying that is very good:
? When the shell flies at you, if you turn and run, you will be blown up; If you run quickly to the place where the shells come from, you will find that the shells pass over your head and fall far behind. ?
This is also the method I use. Every time I encounter a situation that makes me stop because of fear or energy, I will think: what will be the worst? Analyze the worst case with a rational mind and ask yourself: So what? Can you accept it? So I bravely accepted the worst, and then I got up the courage to move on, not hesitating to worry about what would happen next. This doesn't violate the law of attraction, because I don't attract these things with fear. I am clearly looking at them, ignoring them, and even willing to accept them. But I have formed a protective film so that I won't be affected? Worst case scenario? Infringement.
So I put down and give up something precious in others' eyes again and again in my life, and do something that others don't have the courage to do, so my life is wonderful. There was once a high school classmate who had known each other for many years. After listening to my experience, he shook his head and sighed. Other people's three lives are over for you. ? Actually, it's nothing, but I dare I dare to follow my heart and live my true self bravely.
Second, never lie to yourself.
There is another element of being brave and living high:? Never lie to yourself? . You can tell some little lies to others, but the principle is that the purpose of lying is not for your own benefit, but for the benefit of others. For example, old people often worry about this and that, so don't say what you can, so as not to worry them too much. Once in a class abroad, a student lived next door to me. I asked her politely during the day. Get up in the middle of the night because of the time difference. Does it bother you? She said. No? . Then she asked me:? Do you hear anything here? In fact, I was awakened by her snoring in the middle of the night (she was very fat), but when the words came to my lips, I learned a lesson and said in another way: It's good to know that someone is nearby. ? No lying, no hurting. I wish I had this wisdom when I was young.
But you should never deceive yourself. If you keep living the lies you weave, you will never see the truth about yourself, let alone live your true self. Give an example of self-deception: having a friend. She and her husband have been married for many years without children, and their feelings are getting more and more alienated. Her husband still loves her very much, but she has no feelings for him and doesn't like to have sex with him. Later, she had an affair and faced a choice. She said she didn't want to tell her husband, because she was afraid he couldn't bear it and thought he would be very pitiful. But I can hear you clearly. The truth is: her husband can make money and give her a comfortable life. The man who is having an affair with her is an artist, and she has to support him. This is a realistic consideration. Another consideration is that she actually doesn't want to face her inner guilt and has no face to tell her husband. You are so kind to me, but I don't love you. I am having an affair. ? That's the point. But she took it? Afraid of her husband's sadness? For the sake of reason, I have always been on both sides. It's okay to lie to others. Worst of all, she deceived herself and will never live out her true self.
Third, have the courage to break the cage that parents (and later themselves) built for themselves from childhood.
The last element that can be true to yourself is the courage to break the cage built by parents (and later yourself) since childhood. Every one of us has an ideal man in his heart. To be successful, he must be rich, tall, handsome and strong. And women should have a good marriage, be a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter-in-law, a good daughter and so on. In other words, our cage is obedient to our parents. Even when we are adults, life-long events depend on our parents' faces. Or engage in a boring job that you don't like to make a living when you are young. Later, I followed my habits, forgot my childhood preferences and dreams, and stopped thinking about how to realize them.
Each of us must have such a cage that prevents us from developing our true talents or the most ideal living conditions, and there are more than one. What is your cage? What would you do if you had only one month to live? Why not do it now? There is a movie called "The The BucketList", in which two patients in hospital dying beds feel that they have a lot of things they want to do but haven't done, so they agree to use their only lives to complete their The Bucket List.
I also wonder, what is my The Bucket List? Not too much, hehe. Because I followed my heart so much and lived my life bravely. But then I found one: being an actor. I have always wanted to act since I was a child. I feel like a born actor, but I have never had a chance. So I decided to write a movie script in the future and play a role in it to realize my dream.
Fourth, live bravely, and the whole universe will help you.
Dear friend, how many dreams have you failed to realize? What can be done in real situations, but can't be done because of psychological factors (inner cage)? I hope you can learn more after reading this book? Be brave and be yourself? How important it is. Just after I decided to be myself bravely, my interpersonal relationship improved, not because of my middle-aged rebellion. When you bravely try and take that step with incomparable determination, the whole universe will come to help you. In the end, even those who haven't forgiven you will come and support you, because if they really love you, they will see your dazzling happiness after living in high, and they can't help but appreciate you!
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