I asked her what she was doing recently. My friend said he would stay at home with the baby if nothing happened. Even if he takes the baby out, he doesn't want to say hello to others. I can't take care of my children and feel like a failed mother. ......
In fact, many precious mothers, including myself, have friends more or less after giving birth. The difference is that some treasure moms can adjust themselves well and their families can understand tolerance. However, if you indulge in this kind of emotion, not only the child can't take care of it well, but also the mother herself will fall into serious emotional problems, which may even lead to tragedy.
Postpartum depression and postpartum depression
Apart from friends, in private letters, Ma Bao, a novice, often confided to me that she might be suffering from depression, but Bao Dad still looked indifferent and didn't understand at all. For a long time in the past, my family and my mother couldn't figure out what happened, but with the popularization of postpartum mental health knowledge, many mothers may easily come to a conclusion when they are emotionally unstable after childbirth: I have postpartum depression!
I have a friend. During the first time as a mother, because the child was a "high-demand baby", she always cried in the middle of the night, which made her unable to rest completely, so her mood fluctuated greatly and she often cried for no reason. Once she called me in tears and told me that she must have postpartum depression. I also went online to check many stories about self-harm and injury of mothers with postpartum depression. Self-reproach and fear made him more anxious.
In fact, depression, also known as depressive disorder, has a set of very complicated evaluation criteria in psychology. Not feeling depressed, low self-evaluation must be postpartum depression.
For various reasons, postpartum mothers are prone to this kind of postpartum "depression", but it does not mean that they have become "depression". If they can realize and adjust themselves in time, they may be able to control it before it develops into "depression"
Why is there "depression" after childbirth?
The author of "Easy Parenting: Growing Up to Achieve Children" mentioned that postpartum depression is caused by a series of physical, emotional and psychological changes brought about by sex hormones, social roles and psychological changes.
Once I was shopping, I overheard two old aunts talking about their daughter-in-law. One of them said, "It's so melodramatic, crying with a baby in her arms. We have never seen three or four children like this! " Another aunt replied: "Who said no, people nowadays are delicate!" " "
The previous generation may have forgotten that their anxiety and confusion at that time were incomprehensible. Why are they still depressed with a child? So let's talk about why Ma Bao is anxious and depressed.
A, basically derailed from my previous life
Many mothers lead a subtle and self-centered life before pregnancy. After pregnancy, for the sake of children's health, I had to give up what I had in my life, such as cosmetics and favorite snacks. I'm afraid my baby is malnourished, so I try to eat nutritious food. I'm not afraid that my body will go out of shape and I won't be able to recover.
This great change in the state of life will make many treasure mothers question themselves. My sister-in-law once told me that she weighed 90 kg before giving birth to a baby, and after giving birth, her weight soared to 130 kg. Once I got up at night to get something and saw myself in the mirror. I was shocked and depressed.
Less communication with family.
In the first few months after giving birth to the baby, Ma Bao took care of the baby at home every day. Almost all her energy was spent on the baby and she had little communication with her family. Sometimes she wants to talk about her hard work, and no one is at home. A girlfriend said that her husband came home from work to get his mobile phone, and whatever he said was a perfunctory "mm-hmm", not to mention how uncomfortable it was.
Coupled with the generation gap with the previous generation, many parenting concepts are too different to be said together. If they can't do it well, there will be disputes, which will make Ma Bao's already anxious psychology more fragile. Therefore, it is easy for novice mothers to fall into depression during this time.
How to adjust depressed mood
Postpartum depression is not terrible: postpartum depression mainly occurs before delivery 1~3 months, but it does not rule out other time points within one year after delivery.
After understanding why Ma Bao has "depression", mothers may also find that there is no way to change this situation. But in fact, as long as they realize that they have emotional problems and face them positively, coupled with the understanding and concern of their families, most treasure mothers can get rid of this emotion.
Postpartum depression is not terrible. Ma Bao and her family can adjust by these three methods, which are very effective.
Ma Bao should learn to change himself.
In the mother group, a treasure mother shared that she had just given birth to a child and always felt ugly. I suspect that my husband thinks he is contemptuous, afraid to go out and meet people he used to know, and embarrassed to talk to people. But by chance, I was dragged into the treasure mother group of the community by the treasure mother next door.
He found that many mothers are the same as himself, but the difference is that they have a positive attitude towards life, often walking together, studying complementary food and encouraging each other to lose weight. Gradually, her life also changed. Not only did they gain friendship, but the children also had friends.
Who was not a fairy before becoming a mother? However, the change of identity, the change of living environment and the increase of psychological pressure are not something that Ma Bao can easily bear, and only she can understand.
As the saying goes, God helps those who help themselves. Therefore, we should actively communicate with people and adjust our emotions.
2. Bao Da is more concerned and understanding.
While enjoying the happiness of being a father, Bao Dad should also spend more time caring and talking about what he saw and heard at work, what he encountered, the content of his work and so on, so that Ma Bao can feel his sense of existence. When complaining about life, Bao Dad must listen carefully, actively cooperate, reply in time, comfort and care, and even stimulate a bad mood if he is perfunctory.
If you have time, please help Ma Bao look after the children for a while, do some housework, give her some time and space to be alone, and let her stay away from the baby's world for a while. Repair your anxiety and fatigue. This will help Ma Bao get out of the depression.
3. Life needs a sense of ceremony.
The more a nanny needs a sense of ceremony. On holidays, no matter big or small, you don't need expensive gifts. You just need to do one thing with your heart, take her out for a delicious meal, go to a coffee shop for a drink, go to the park to see flowers and plants, take a walk hand in hand, go to the mall to add a new dress and so on. In short, you should stand on Bao Ma's side and do something she can care about. Although Ma Bao didn't say it, her heart was always happy.