"When Breath Becomes Air" - the personal autobiography of the genius American brain doctor Paul Callanish. This academic, who has a bachelor's degree in English literature and human biology from Stanford University, a master's degree in history and philosophy of science from Cambridge University, and a doctorate in medicine from Yale University, is about to complete his residency as a doctor at the age of 36 and will receive a degree in surgery from Stanford University. When he was holding a professorship and running his own research laboratory, he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. At the end of his life, he wrote down his growth experience, career in studying medicine, and treatment after illness.
The whole book is divided into three parts. The first part, "When I was Strong and Healthy," describes the author's life before his illness. The author is a second-generation Indian-American immigrant who was born into a family of doctors. When he was ten years old, his family moved from bustling Manhattan to the desolate desert town of Kingman, Arizona, where he and his friends explored , battle of wits and courage with poisonous spiders and other creatures, and eagerly read the works of countless writers according to the book list found by his mother... After that, he went to college step by step. He had never thought of going into medicine. After completing his bachelor's degree, he had a deep understanding of life. Full of confusion, "I believe more and more strongly that the key to having substantive moral opinions on issues of life and death lies in direct experience of them. I began to feel that words are as light as the air in which they are spoken. After some examination and reflection, I realized that I was just confirming what was already clear: I want direct experience. Only by practicing medicine can I pursue serious physiological philosophy." So he gave up writing and pursued medicine. Started his career as a medical student. In the article, he described in detail the scene of his first autopsy class, the joy of facing the birth of a newborn and the pain of facing a premature baby who unfortunately died during his obstetrics and gynecology internship, and his work as a neurosurgery resident. All kinds of life... The second part of the book, "Til Death Do Us Rest", narrates the author's treatment process after he fell ill. After the diagnosis, he said to his wife: "I don't want to die." Then, he notified relatives and friends, checked information, discussed the condition and treatment plan with the attending doctor, received treatment, and decided to have a child. After a while, the tumor shrank, and he decided to return to neurosurgery and pick up the scalpel again. Later, a new tumor appeared. After the last brain surgery, he said goodbye to his beloved operating table and went from doctor to patient again. Endless chemotherapy followed, but this time the condition got worse. In the last period of his life, his little princess Cady was born. With love and reluctance for his family, he left this world... The last part is a postscript written by the author's wife, describing Paul and his family** *Dou’s last moments and the memory of his family after his death.
I couldn’t put it down after I opened this book. I read it in two days while commuting to and from work and at night. It is neither sensational nor trivial. The author just uses a very plain language. It describes his experience as a doctor and the process of treatment after falling ill. The author uses a lot of pen and ink to describe the heavy work in the hospital and all kinds of patients, and tells the truest inner thoughts and struggles of doctors when facing diseases and patients. "Doctors who work in very demanding fields, when they see patients , are their most difficult times, and also the most real times, because their lives and personalities are threatened. The responsibilities of doctors include understanding why the patient's life is precious and worth living, and planning well, possibly. If possible, preserve these things as much as possible—if not, let the patient die in peace and dignity." I don’t know if it’s because of being a doctor, but the author’s mentality changes when he gets sick are completely opposite to those of ordinary people. Most people go through “denial-anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance”, but the author accepts it first and then fully accepts it after the diagnosis result comes out. The reality is that we are fully prepared for death; then we start to feel depressed, because we don’t know how long we can live, so we don’t know how to live if we plan the remaining time; then we bargain with God and ask why God is so unfair; finally, we deny, Assume that you can live for a long time, then you still have the courage to move on and live. But in the end, the author had no choice but to accept it. At the end of his life, he refused life-saving treatment and said to his family, "I'm ready." Then, he removed all medical equipment and left peacefully... Recently read The medical documentary "Human World" has a lot of feelings about doctors about disease and death.
At present, medical resources are far from meeting the needs of patients. The intensity and pressure of doctors' work are really not something ordinary people can understand and bear. Doctors are also ordinary people. It may not be the most difficult thing to endure failed operations, patient deaths, abuse and beatings, but it is the most difficult thing. Perhaps even after all these setbacks, I still haven’t lost my original enthusiasm and persistence. One episode of "The World" is about farewell, how patients say goodbye to this world. The last part of the postscript of "When Breath Becomes Air" is mainly about farewell, telling how Paul spent his last life with his family. Time, this is the part that touches me the most. When medical methods can no longer save his life, implementing hospice care and allowing him to leave this world with dignity and less regrets is the best comfort for both the patient and his family.
What is the meaning of living? How to face illness and death? Paul used his short life to deliver a wonderful answer. "No one can escape life and death and cannot see through it, but we have the ability to adapt and deal with it; even if we cannot control it, we can still find the meaning of life because of the exploration of life and death. Paul's experience is sad , but he himself is not a tragedy."