It is an honor to be here to discuss with you on the issue of frustration. Our view is that frustration is not conducive to success.
First of all, from a big point of view, frustration will hinder the progress of the country, the society, and even the whole mankind. Why is the whole world calling for peace now? Why is ****productivism pursuing the construction of a world without poverty, hardship and war? Why does China want to build a moderately prosperous society? It is because only in a fair and just, honest and friendly, dynamic, stable and orderly environment can all kinds of talents be better nurtured, making social development and human progress.
Secondly, setbacks will hit people's self-confidence and hinder people's thinking, so only a very few people can be successful in setbacks. Perhaps one setback will create a valiant and fearless general, however it will break a million warriors. When this sole victor looks up to the sky and wails, has he seen the white bones under his feet? Cultural Revolution is an unprecedented calamity for the Chinese nation, China in this huge setback, knowledge has become a source of evil, scientists to work, farming, workers, farmers, students took to the streets to revolution, so that China's scientific and technological talent team faults, scientific and technological level of Europe and the United States with the gap between some Western powers for more than half a century, the country's economy is on the verge of collapse. How many soldiers who should have had a bright future died under the enemy's guns? How many talented young people have become victims of frustration? Isn't this blood lesson enough?
Thirdly, from a psychological point of view, setbacks tend to make people disheartened and depressed, and it is difficult to find self-confidence for a long time. Why do our families and society try to create a good learning and living environment for us? It is to make us more successful and hold up the sun of tomorrow!
In summary, we clearly believe that: frustration is not conducive to success!
Thank you all!
(2) Can everyone get up when they encounter setbacks? Of course not. Those who can get up, the key to his success is his mindset and method of getting up or the setback itself? Obviously the former. Therefore, logically, what makes a person successful is the means of overcoming frustration, the method, definitely not the frustration itself, so frustration is not conducive to success. If frustration is conducive to success, why do we need to overcome it? Overcoming a "thing" that is conducive to success, isn't that strange?
The setbacks only provide it with an opportunity to improve, in the face of the opportunity to improve, some people positive and some people negative, then how do you argue that because the face of the setbacks of some people negative and some people positive, then the setbacks are also conducive to the success of it? So we see the key to success is what, is the face of frustration mentality, may I ask you, face of frustration mentality and frustration itself is not the same concept? If a person who started with nothing has encountered obstacles everywhere, be it financial problems or interpersonal relationships, can he still be successful? Of course not. So, what does he have to do? It is to get rid of the setbacks and make him not a setback so that he can become successful, if setbacks are conducive to success why do we need to get rid of it, I ask you.
You said at the beginning that we have to overcome frustration in order to be successful, and that getting rid of frustration is just an escape, so I would like to ask you 2 questions:
1) Is the word "frustration" the same concept as "overcoming frustration"?
2) You said that in order to achieve success, you must have the courage to face all kinds of challenges, from this statement, I would like you to infer that the key to success is frustration or the mentality to face frustration?
Didn't the other side notice that I started off with a favored opening as chairman?
Frustration is certainly not the only thing to look at, when did I say that, please do not take it out of context, okay? We are trying to solve him, to overcome him, but you still haven't answered my two questions:
1) Is the word "frustration" the same as "overcoming frustration"?
2) You said that in order to be successful, you must have the courage to face all kinds of challenges, from this statement, I would like to ask you to deduce that the key to success is the frustration or the mentality to face the frustration?
My view is that setbacks are not conducive to becoming successful, and a positive mindset in the face of setbacks is conducive to becoming successful :lol
As much as I'm embarrassed to say it, I'd have to say that you seem to be a bit lacking in analytical skills. I said get rid of is to overcome, not to escape, we have to turn setbacks into not setbacks, we will become successful, you said the world's rich man encountered setbacks, I said to get rid of is to say that we should apply ourselves to change, get rid of adversity, this kind of get rid of the other side still say that it is called avoidance ah? If you do not get rid of setbacks, then your implication is not to tell us that we only have been in the adversity, in the setbacks we will be successful? Your last sentence -----〉If he is frankly facing setbacks, then he can certainly become a success ------〉In fact, it does not argue your point of view at all, on the contrary, there is a loophole, your position today is based on the positive mindset to face the setbacks are conducive to success, rather than setbacks themselves are conducive to success, so we see that the key to success is what? It's the mindset, it's your mindset to face the setbacks, positive or negative mindset determines whether you can't be successful or not, you still want to tell me that the setbacks themselves are conducive to success ah?
p/s:I have made it clear in so many posts that we have to face frustration, why do you refuse to look at it, is it that you only choose to look at what you like to look at, and pretend not to see what you don't like to look at, the other side of this argumentative debate is the right attitude?
(3) Our argument is: frustration is not conducive to growth.
Human growth refers to the process by which a person is transformed from a natural person to a social person and fully socialized. In terms of both physical and mental development and social role maturity, although good times and bad times are inevitable in the process of human growth, good times are more conducive to human growth in comparison.
First of all, from the point of view of human physical and mental development, on the one hand, scientific nutritional supply, sound public **** health system, compared with the lack of material security, lack of public **** health services, more conducive to human physiological growth. On the other hand, good times are more conducive to the growth of the human mind, the growth of the human mind includes the enhancement of cognitive ability, temperament cultivation, character development. In adversity, the learning environment is repressive to cognize things, but in good times, an encouraging educational atmosphere is provided, which is more conducive to the systematic development of cognition. Adversity allows us to recognize the hardships of life, but it also tends to produce anxiety and distress, and even a sense of alienation and mistrust of others. In good times, we can realize the warmth of family, the love of society and the value of friendship, and thus have a tolerant, open and healthy mind. In adversity, the cultivation of human character is conditional, it is easy to exceed the basic psychological pressure range, resulting in personality distortion. While in good times, the cultivation of human character, but is subtle, through positive educational means, and good temperament cultivation, forging a more sound personality.
Secondly, from the point of view of the socialization process, on the one hand, the good times are more conducive to meet the needs of the growth of all stages of life, when we are still children, the good times in the family's care so that we have the self-confidence and sense of autonomy, and in the broken in the family grew up in the children, easy to inferiority complex. When we are teenagers, a good education in good times will enable us to succeed in our studies and make a good living, while a lack of education will cause us to lose the support for our growth and the direction of our life. When we reach adulthood and even old age, the good times make people in self-affirmation, get lifelong growth momentum, while the impact of adversity, easy to make people depressed, self-denial. On the other hand, good times are more conducive to the maturity of social roles, because the growth of human beings is always marked by the independent assumption of appropriate social roles, and the hardship of adversity is likely to produce a sense of frustration, which interrupts the process of lifelong growth, whereas in good times the continuous social development, sound institutional arrangements, and harmonious daily life provide a more benign space for the maturity of human social roles.
With the good wind, we are helped to rise to the top. With the good wind of good times, we can spread our wings of growth and fly higher and farther in the sky of life. If people often worry about the state, physical and mental health will be affected, will naturally affect the work, can not talk about growth. It is true that a person's life can not always be "smooth sailing", will encounter setbacks, but life will have a certain ability to withstand adversity, will not be "not half the ability to resist", so even if the environment in the good times encountered some minor setbacks, people will be Self-regulation. In the face of suffering, everyone's ability to regulate is not the same, it does not mean that "encounter setbacks do not have the ability to resist", the ability to withstand is related to human personality, qualities and other factors, some innate, some from the acquired training, in the face of frustration, the majority of people have the ability to self-regulation. Since the adversity can still bear, the good times are even more like a tiger with wings. I'm afraid that adversity is difficult to have the opportunity to do something practical, but also difficult to have the opportunity to grow, even the opportunity is gone, can be conducive to the growth of people? Times make heroes! If in good times, can give the great man a good development environment, may be able to make greater performance.
Let's take a look at a true story about the disadvantages of youth development.
In 2001, Xixia County People's Procuratorate review had dealt with a case of intentional injury, the suspects were under 18 years of age at the time of the crime, is a typical juvenile violent crime, and the motives for the crime, the means and its consequences are worthy of deep thought.
(4)2 Frustration is not conducive to growth(1)
The case is like this: Ren Moumou (female, 16 years old) was informed of his uncle and the victim fooling around with the family caused by the discord, in the night of October 21, 2001 at 10 o'clock Xu, drunkenness, about Zhang Mou (female, 17 years old), Cool (16 years old), Du Mou (15 years old), Liu Mou (15 years old), Jin Mou (16 years old), Wang Mou (15 years old) seven people went to the victim's house. (15 years old) seven people went to the victim's residence, Renmoumou, Zhangmou and others punched and kicked the victim, in the beating Renmoumou handed a kitchen knife to Zhangmou, Zhangmou with a kitchen knife towards the victim's head, shoulder, leg hacking, resulting in the victim's body was seriously injured.
Above several suspects are minors, the reason why they embarked on the road to crime, the reasons are manifold, which are mainly the following:
A family's adverse impact. Three of the seven people in the family have been divorced, several other families are also negligent in discipline, some teenagers' parents have a poor marital foundation or even aberrant, the child prematurely bear the family civil war of bad encounters. Children from single-parent families, due to the lack of family affinity, have their minds overshadowed and are prone to low self-esteem, forming withdrawn personalities, and most of them are introverted and precocious. Coupled with some adverse social influences, they are likely to develop bad habits and anti-social awareness and go astray. Some other families spoil their children and make them spoiled and disobedient. There are also some that are rough education, often scolding and insulting, corporal punishment, so that the child develops a rebellious mentality.
Second, the school's education is too one-sided, too much attention to the high and low academic performance and ignored the education of young people's ideology and morality, so that education out of the development of young people is unbalanced.
Three, the adverse effects of society. "The beginning of man, nature is good". Minors as a blank sheet of paper, society is the painter, the child's growth often depends on the social environment. All kinds of bad phenomena in society, the child caused numerous negative impact. Because minors in the psychological is not yet completely stable, the idea is not yet fully mature, the negative, unhealthy things lack of adult kind of analysis, judgment, the ability to distinguish between right and wrong, rich in fantasy, like to stimulate, blindly emulate, copy. This gives rise to a distorted world view, outlook on life and values, which in turn gives rise to a variety of anti-social behaviors. Coupled with the weak concept of the rule of law, but also by the influence of money, enjoyment and other concepts, vanity, poor control, easy to go to extremes, so as to crime.
Four, the weakness of minors themselves.
From their own point of view, minors' ignorance and weak legal awareness is an important reason for them to go to the abyss. First, physiological development and psychological development is not coordinated. With the improvement of material living standards, young people's physiological development speed up, but their psychological development and formation is quite lagging behind, generally manifested as a weak self-control ability, frustration bearing ability is not strong. Secondly, they have low cognitive ability and poor discernment. Teenagers are active in thought and good at imitation, but their ability to recognize and distinguish things is relatively poor, the concept of right and wrong is not strong, and the boundaries of law and crime are not clear, so it is easy to go out of line and violate the rules, or even break the law and commit crimes. Thirdly, they make friends indiscriminately and go astray. A lot of minors are due to careless friendships and complicity, was pulled down by the bad guys, *** with the crime, endangering society.
With the progress of society and economic development, children's lives have become more favorable. However, it is these superior conditions that may bring disadvantages to children while benefiting them. If they are not properly utilized, children who grow up under such conditions may lack certain mental qualities that are extremely important for their lifelong development. We can start by looking at some of the following examples.
A girl in a university committed suicide by jumping off a building that night because she sang out of tune at a gala, causing the audience to laugh!
In September 1995, a 15-year-old girl in a major middle school in Beijing was criticized for talking about her teacher's "fat face" and attempted suicide, resulting in lifelong disability.
In 1996, the National Youth Work Committee, the China Youth Daily and the China Youth Research Center for Children and Youth Research Institute of the joint investigation team of primary and secondary school students across the country conducted a large-scale questionnaire survey, in the "your main shortcomings" of a survey, the survey of 16,350 elementary school students, 31.2% of them chose "timidity". Of the 16,350 primary school students surveyed, 31.2% chose "timidity", the first ranked shortcoming; of the 5,560 secondary school students, 28.2% chose "timidity", the third ranked shortcoming. Recently, some other surveys show that: the suicide rate of children and teenagers in China is on the rise; in response to the question "What should I do if I encounter difficulties? When answering the question "What should I do if I am in trouble?", 97% of primary and secondary school students thought of looking for their parents or teachers instead of trying to solve the problem themselves.
In view of this, I call on society as a whole to pay attention to the children's rule of law, moral education, to give children a healthy growing environment
(5) This is a few days ago I debate on the attack on the defense section of the preparation of the question, because I feel that this took some of my brains to come up with this question is indeed not bad, so the special take out, and I hope that we can expand the thinking of the help a little bit. There are good opinions and points of view welcome to discuss, but please do not life attack and excessive bull's-eye.
Our rules are: the attacker can only ask questions and is not allowed to elaborate his own point of view, and the defender can only answer questions and is not allowed to ask questions and ignore each other's questions. Other rules are the same as in a general debate tournament.
Our argument: frustration is not conducive to success
Opponent's point: frustration is conducive to success
The following are the questions in our offensive defense:
There is no greater catastrophe for a musician than to have a hearing impairment. Even the great musical lifer, Beethoven, at the age of 32, his hearing problems worsened, and coupled with a bad relationship, he even thought of committing suicide and wrote his will. But this double spiritual crisis eventually came to naught under the burning fire of music in his heart.
①So, I would like to ask the other side, is deafness a setback for musicians?
(First of all, no matter what the question is, only "yes" or "no" answers are allowed. In the case of this question, as long as the other party does not answer positively, or wants to express his opinion on the example I just cited, you should immediately interrupt the other party and say, "Please answer positively to the other party's question, deafness is not a setback for a musician? Please answer 'yes' or 'no'." This is a very difficult question, and the other side can only answer "yes". If they had to answer "no", it would give the audience and the judges a bad impression in the first place, because it is a very obvious question.)
(If the other side answered "not really", good, you can continue to ask "So, please ask the other side of the defense, what is called frustration? I'm not sure what I'm talking about, but I'd like to know. The other side's definition of "frustration" will not hold water because of what they said earlier, "Deafness is not a frustration for a musician. Such an answer would have been the end of the game for them. So, no matter what the other side thinks, he can only answer "yes".)
② So, is deafness good for music making?
(This question is as tricky as the previous one. If you have to answer "favorable", fine. You can make fun of him by saying, "So, may I ask the other side, does a deaf person hear better than a normal person? Two, "Since the other side thinks so, I don't think there's any need for me to ask any more questions." This way no matter which of the above two methods you use to deal with it, there is no need to bother with the other person anymore because the judges and the audience will boo him. (Ditto for whatever the other guy thinks, he can only answer "unfavorable.")
③ Then, ask the other side of the defense, if we want to be successful, we must constantly go through setbacks?
(This question is not as difficult as the previous two, but from the other side's standpoint, there is basically no choice. If the other side must answer "no" or the other side answered "not immediately after the words", you can immediately interrupt the other side "Thank you for the other side of the answer, thank you for the affirmation of our point of view, my question! My question is over." (In terms of the position of the other side, basically only answer "yes".)
④ May I ask the defense, can everyone get up after a setback?
(The obvious answer, of course, is "no." He should dare to answer "yes". If he dares to answer "yes", then it is the same as the ② question to risk universal condemnation. At this point, the same treatment as in question 1 is used to attack the other side's definition of "frustration".)
⑤ So, for those who get up, is the key to their success "their mindset and approach to setbacks" or "the setbacks themselves"?
(If the other side answered "the setback itself", then he contradicted the previous answer. You can use the question ② to attack it.)
6 May I ask the other side whether "the setback itself" is the same concept as "a person's mindset and method when facing the setback"?
By the time you get to the sixth question, you've basically achieved your goal, and it doesn't really matter how the other side answers. Because you have used the other side of the answer to prove a point, "frustration itself" is not good for our success, growth. Secondly, your question (6) raises the concept that "frustration itself" is not the same as "one's mindset and approach when facing frustration". Moreover, from the previous series of questions, the other person has already been put into this designed "cage" by you. Whether the other side is completely convinced, at least in this round of defense, you have made the audience and the judges on your side.
If the other side answered "no.".
If the other side replies "No.". Very well, you can end it. "Thank you for your answer, my question is over."
If your opponent answers "Yes." Then, as before, he is self-satisfied. Then he contradicts himself as before. "I find it strange that the other apologist answered earlier that what makes a person rise from a setback is 'one's mindset a way to face the setback' and not 'the setback itself'. Now we are told that the two are the same concept. With the opposing defense contradicting itself like this, I don't think I need to ask any further questions."
The question ends here. However, you can also use the other side's answer to prove your own argument during the free debate stage, for the whole game. The clever design of this concept is definitely a very exciting segment.
This example of questioning is also just to tell you a way to think and ask questions, debate not to mention some of what no head, they feel untenable or irrelevant questions. It's best to be able to make a loop, and let the other side have no choice but to follow your pace. For some examples of the other side, do not blindly follow the other side's point of view to think, should look at it from a different angle, things are often not only absolute side. Examples used to prove your point of view should also be careful not to let the other side of the opportunity to take advantage of. For example, the example of "Beethoven" may appear to be favorable to the other side, but if you ask it from a different angle, it will have a completely different impact on the other side.
(6) In terms of the growth of talent, it can be divided into good times and bad times. The smooth conditions provided by a variety of convenient conditions is certainly conducive to the growth of talent, but adversity is often the growth of talent often encountered and must be correctly faced with the frustration of the situation. Many ancient thinkers in China believe that "many difficulties Xing talent", Wei Pai even said: "Against the birth of a child, and then die young; against the holy, and then crazy; grass and trees do not frost and snow, the business is not solid; people do not worry about it, then the wisdom is not." He believes that only adversity can become talented, which has a great one-sidedness. However, the phenomenon of success in adversity embodied in some kind of healing sense of regularity, is an indisputable fact.
One, the growth of talent in adversity to analyze the causes
(a) specific historical conditions and socio-political system to make
The times can make heroes, but also can be stifled and stagnate the progress of certain specific talent and the emergence of talent growth in the adversity of the situation. Peaceful times of insufficient demand for military personnel, it is not conducive to the play of military talent, which is the growth of military personnel of the social "adversity"; and in the social revolution, armed struggle, or the world is divided and chaotic, with military talent should be born to show their ambitions, but such times, for scientific and technological talent and literary and artistic talent, often face the challenge of education. However, in such times, for talents with scientific and technological talents and literary and artistic talents, they often face the unfavorable situation of having no way to pursue studies and serve the country. It can be seen that the "current situation" of the growth of a particular talent also has an adverse side.
From the five social forms experienced by mankind, feudalism and theocracy are the most unfavorable to the growth of talents and the most serious destruction of talents. In the European Middle Ages, the army personnel system centered on feudal gentry, officer status is the hereditary privilege of a few aristocrats, which blocked a large number of civilians and their sons and daughters to become officers and to show and play their military talent channels. After the Sui and Tang dynasties, China practiced... The imperial examination system, in fact, is a trap to limit people's ability to play, the majority of laborers lost the opportunity to study because of the forced life, it is impossible to participate in the imperial examination to go to a career. Ming and Qing dynasties to the eight-legged essay to get a scholar, the candidate can only follow the gourd to draw a dipper, for the ancients to speak, shall not have independent thought, the imperial examination system has become a shackle that binds people to achieve success. This systematic adversity I do not know how many talents have been buried.
(2) the backward stereotypes and old habits of force
China's history of some of the stereotypes and old habits of force has created a variety of adversity, still binding the growth of talent progress. First, the customary adversity of seniority. Virtue of high talent Long of its position can not enter, to rank order in seniority, "stupid Yin a general, must be with the grid", promotion to "according to the seniority of the next row, a crop by a crop to come". Shallow seniority can only obey the arrangement, suffering years, and even long buried in the earth. Second, the interpersonal adversity of cynicism and jealousy. Full of jealousy of the environment, the talent is difficult to get ahead, even if there are achievements, will not have a sense of accomplishment, but instead feel the "nest" constraints. Some people can not tolerate the talent to stand out, and even individual leaders also lack the proper amount of elegance, rather talented people in vain, but also can not let him "tip", "show face", resulting in the potential talent "is a dragon must be coiled, is a tiger must lie down. Tigers have to lie down". Third, the closed and conservative socio-cultural psychological adversity. Traditional Chinese culture to conservative, introverted psychological character as a virtue of self-esteem, "better to get clever than hide", "do not show off" and other philosophies, is.... Out of the so-called "self-esteem" needs. For example, young talents have suggestions, ideas, academic research, insights, and even some authoritative definitions of suspicion, but do not show half a trace, because once the "class door to show off" made a joke, it is not a disgrace, be slighted, lost "self-esteem"! "....... In this way, so how much insight into the null and void, and how many creative talent in the womb? Undue emphasis on self-esteem is tantamount to creating spiritual shackles and psychological adversity for oneself.
(C) talent development in the imbalance makes
Long-distance running race, rushed in front of the people tend to withstand greater wind resistance, or upwind force. Talent development progress has the same reason, once a person has become famous, and even become a public figure, society and people around the attention of its more, its expectations are also higher, its requirements will be more demanding, which invariably forms a pressure, can also be called a "happy adversity "
These are the most important things that you need to know about the world of work.
There is also a "Matthew effect" caused by the adversity: due to the different progress of the growth of talent, in front of the obvious talent, easy to get the organization and social recognition, honors and awards; those who are not famous for the potential talent, it is difficult to get recognition, often trapped in the "Matthew effect" troubled and adversity. "The Matthew effect" is often trapped in the trouble and adversity. The "Matthew effect" is often at the expense of the development of potential talent to promote the development of obvious talent, thus depriving the potential talent of development opportunities and development possibilities. The "Matthew effect" through this "deprivation" mechanism of potential talent growth to create artificial adversity, play a role in obstacles, which not only suppresses talent, and buried talents.