The legend of Socrates' wife was great. Very fierce. But I read another article a while back that had a different view.
For a long time, Socrates' wife, Csentibe, has been stigmatized as a "shrew" in the literature of later generations. In fact, a careful reading of the original records of Plato and Laertius reveals that Csentibe was a good wife who y loved and understood her husband, and that Socrates loved his wife as a normal, whole human being, without any trace of the bigotry that characterizes the emotional life of some later celibate philosophers. This normal family life of theirs shows that Socrates, though immersed in philosophical pursuits, did not lose the sanity of a normal man's life, and was not the kind of monster who did not eat the fire of the earth.
Ralphius has recorded that Socrates had two wives, Csantibe and Myrtle, and there is even a legend that he had two wives at the same time. But then some researchers pointed out that Athenian law at the time did not allow polygamy, so having two wives at the same time was not possible. Judging from the age difference between Socrates and Csantibe, he probably did marry twice, and Csantibe was his second wife. The age difference between them was about thirty years, which is typical of an old married man and a young married woman. Therefore, Csantibe was inevitably a bit of a spoiled brat, able to throw a basin of water on Socrates when he quarrelled with him, and ripping his coat off in the street. But Csantibe is understanding of him, Socrates invited to dinner at home, talking, Csantibe seriously cooking, but also afraid of the food is not good to spoil the guests of the rich and noble guests. I think that the most can reflect the woman's tenderness and understanding is: Socrates dying, she held the child, watching over the side of the crying to death, when she saw Socrates' friends to see him, but she said: "Socrates ah! You can talk to your friends for the last time", Socrates asked Crito to take her home and she left crying. Every time I read this, I am touched by this woman, she is very remarkable, because in the last moments of her husband, according to common sense, how she would like to be with him all the time, how she treasures this last minute, but she understands that her husband's life's most cherished cause: to talk with people, therefore, she even endured her own grief, and gave the last precious time to those friends of Socrates, so that they can continue to talk! The "bird talk" that led to Socrates' death. According to my understanding of women, the more she loved her husband, the more she should have hated these "conversations" and even these friends! But her performance is so understanding, so respect Socrates' choice, can get such love of philosophers in the history of philosophy can be said to be rare, I think, living in this love of Socrates is not only happy, but also gained the kind of only noble women can create peace and resilience of power.
Socrates also loved Csentibe, and even spoiled her a little. When Csantibe worries about the shabby meals she prepares for her guests, Socrates comforts her by saying, "It doesn't matter; if they know how to reason, they will naturally accept it; if they don't, it means that they don't know how to reason, and there is no need to be troubled about it." When Csantibe splashes him, he humorously relieves himself by saying, "Did I not say that Csantibe's thunder would end in rain?" . There is no doubt that Csantibe is a strong character, with a big temper, and like most women loves to ramble, and Alcibiades can't stand this kind of rambling, which Socrates says he is used to, "as to the constant gurgling of a windlass, and you don't mind the cackling of a goose, do you". Alcibiades says, "Of course I don't mind, but the goose can lay my eggs!" Socrates says "Ksantibe has given me babies too!"
Even the son born to Ksantibe couldn't stand his mother's nagging and lashed out at her, for which Socrates educated his son seriously, criticizing him for being ungrateful and teaching him to apologize to his mother.
In the family relationship, Socrates insight into all the psychology of the small people, dealt with wisdom. Husband and wife are too close to each other, it is inevitable that there are some casual things, and thus often produce a lot of unnecessary quarrels, but because it is a very close husband and wife, the quarrels do not have any fatal consequences, but just a little emotional fluctuations. Many times the two people are not so serious when they have an attack, and the quarrel is over and done with. But life, we often see some people, despite their own husband and wife relationship is not good, but especially love to care about other people's business, other couples quarrel, he always have to go and mix, and net some can make the problem escalate intensified bad idea, such as: "your wife can not, if I had 揙她一一顿了", and so on. In fact, this kind of person in addition to the things stirred up to escalate, they have a lively look, there is no impartial position. Often in this kind of person's interference, was just a quarrel husband and wife, can not get off the stage, but intensified the conflict. Socrates was a philosopher, a wise man, and never fell for such people. So, when Csantibe ripped off his coat, other friends who were present were indignant and went so far as to instigate Socrates to give Csantibe two slaps on the face, and Socrates rejected this incitement on the spot, replying, "Are you waiting for the two of us to fight and then applaud and cheer and watch the fun?"
In response to his wife's strong temper, Socrates boasted that he could control Csantibe like a high-ranking knight taming a fiery horse, and that if he subdued such a fiery horse, he could deal with anything. He also endeavors to absorb the positive things from his time with Csantibe, saying that if one can get on well with Csantibe, one can get on well with all the world. In a way, he was using Cézantibé as a specimen of a woman, as an objective object of his study of women, which may be another reason why he was able to accept Cézantibé's violent temper.
Excerpted from Guizhou People's Publishing House, "Back to Thought From Socrates and Confucius" (by Li Yuqi)