"Lies" are called "lies" because they are false, untrue and deceitful words. If a person often has lies flowing out of his mouth to deceive others, he will lose people's trust over time. Just like the child in the article "the lying child", every day shouting "the wolf is coming" in order to seek excitement, happy, but when the wolf really comes, he only one person to face independently, to bear by himself, no matter how much shouting will not help, and there will be no one to help him again. No one will come to help him, because the people who may come to help him have already gotten used to his shouting, thinking that he is "teasing you" again, so it can be seen that the lie is in the way of honesty. But today, when we talk about "lies", there is a qualifier - good faith, and with this qualifier, the nature of the lie is fundamentally changed. "Goodwill lies" are people's good wishes for things, is the people's good heart of the dialog, is a warmth of mutual comfort between people, is a kind of tenderness out of the bottom of people's hearts ...... who will not go to investigate the credibility of the degree, even if the Hear the goodwill lie people know is a lie, but also the same will go to try to believe, will not feel the hypocrisy of the liar, and sometimes also from the heart to appreciate it.
When it comes to lies, I bet none of us have ever told a lie since we were kids. Yes, everyone has lied, but some lies are kind, and some lies are malicious! The good intention of the lie, its starting point is good, is lying at the same time to achieve the good intention of deception, and had to make up the lie.
Goodwill lies position starting point:
First: goodwill lies are out of good motives, in order to maintain the interests of others as the purpose and starting point. As we all know, the contradiction has a universal and particular, the particularity is contained in the particularity and distinguished from the universal. On the nature of its good lie itself determines that it is not evil benefit, but in the heart of the sincerity, the foundation of the good, and malicious lie is for the benefit of the liar, with a strong desire for profit, weak rationality, others only as a means to harm the behavior of others at all costs. The lie that a good person is "forced" to tell in a certain state is good, and this lie is a kind of kindness and concern for the subject. And the heart of the wrong person, no matter how to disguise, how to rhetoric, how to rack their brains for their own malicious lies crowned with good intentions of the high hat, the lies are said with malicious purposes. Obviously, a well-intentioned lie is no obstacle to honesty.
Secondly, a well-intentioned lie is a way of being in the world, a reflection of the quality of thinking for others.
A terminally ill patient's friends and relatives always use well-intentioned lies to make his condition light and encourage him to cooperate with the doctor's treatment, I believe that everyone here will not be accused of dishonesty because of this, right? On the contrary it is malicious truthfulness. A captive tells the deployment of his side's troops under the lure of the enemy, does anyone think he is honest? Honesty to the enemy is betrayal to the nation, ah!
Guangzhou brain hospital forensic science department director said: "Lying is a kind of human instinct, as for whether honesty, the key in with which kind of lie."
A lie that expresses refusal of love on the basis of not directly harming the suitor; a lie that expresses the power of not being able to do anything in interpersonal communication under a man who is in great love but is not willing to disappoint the inviter is indispensable in interpersonal communication. It makes us more comfortable in the world, not like a prismatic stone, cut others head and blood, but also their own scars.
It is clear that there is a need for a layer of protective coloring and lubrication between people. Since the time of the expulsion from the Garden of Eden, people are not naked but surrounded by bark and blades of grass, aren't they?
Third: although the good lie is a kind of lie, but can not say that the lie is necessarily impede the integrity, to analyze the specific problem.
The reason why integrity is respected by everyone is because it is goodwill not to deceive, goodwill lie on the surface, it seems to impede the principle of integrity, but essentially, the reason why it exists, is because of speaking the truth to impede the principle of goodwill.
The lie of good faith and honesty, in fact, is the relationship of unity of opposites, and that so-called violation of the integrity of precisely provide a useful complement, and is not in the way, let's say: the provisions of the road in the same direction of the pedestrians can only occupy half of the road, and does not impede the passage of everyone ah!
Fourth: A world without lies is like an earth without dust. We agree that a good lie is not an obstacle to honesty and integrity does not mean that we promote it, the key lies in the degree.
Statement:
What is lying? If it is defined indiscriminately as: not being truthful, telling lies, exaggerating, covering up, and distorting the truth. Then our life is full of big and small lies, from the highly inflammatory advertisements to the sweet words between lovers, all of them are full of exaggerated words, even the literature itself has become a lie. Everyone has a standard for lies in mind, and how to grasp this degree is the first thing we think about. Compared with the lies of bad motives, good faith lies will make people's feelings become more harmonious, harmonious, life becomes more tasty, it can skillfully avoid conflict, emotional communication and smooth interaction, and how to hinder the integrity of it?
Therefore, we need to learn to recognize malicious lies, to protect ourselves from harm; at the same time, to improve their own cultivation, thinking about the best way to solve the problem. "The way of the university, in the Mingde, in the pro-people, in stopping at the best." As for those who are cozy and make life full of interest; as for those who are full of kindness, compassionate lies, let them bloom!
Believe that under the sky of kindness, our world will be better!
We teach our children not to lie, but many people forget to tell them that there is another kind of goodwill lies in the world. Kind people think about it. How many times have we grown up spreading goodwill lies, in order to keep people from being embarrassed, in order to keep people from feeling bad, or in order to keep ourselves from being ashamed of ourselves, we've been hypocrites, we've been false, but we've been kind people!
The world is not so innocent, innocence is very scarce, everything requires innocence of the person is childish to take the pursuit of innocence is mostly a lie, too much naked to say the so-called truth is precisely shameless
goodwill lies. The emphasis is on good intentions, and that's what makes it worthwhile.
But truth cannot be denied.
If the brain is shamed after being told, it instead loses its good intentions and leaks out 。。。。
Example:
When a terminally ill patient is sentenced to death by a doctor, his parents, his lover, his children, and all his loved ones, will not directly tell him, "Life is beyond saving," "At most, how much longer can he live in this world " and so on. Although these are true, who would be as cruel as a judge sentencing a prisoner to death to tell the truth to a loved one who is already in pain. At this point, everyone will form a united front, shut up about the truth, and use well-intentioned lies to make the patient hopeful about the treatment, so that the patient in a peaceful state of mind to spend the rest of the years. Could this be a hindrance to honesty!
When a child who does not rhyme with the world suddenly suffers a misfortune and loses his relatives, how to explain to him where his relatives have gone. We think the best way is still: do not tell him the real situation for the time being, just say to a very far away place to go on business, or in the foreign study and work and so on. When the child understands, has a certain ability to bear the time, and then to tell the truth, the child will also understand the relatives of the practice, will not be angry because they did not know the truth. Is it possible that such words also hinder the integrity!
When a soldier who is on a mission in the field of the mother is very sick, hot a breath of time, how much hope to see his son one last time ah, but the son is not able to come back, can not do a little bit of filial piety for the old mother, to take care of once for the son of his mother worried about the mother, he was very apologetic, and also very much in his thoughts. And the old mother is very understanding of the son, told the relatives around him, after he left, do not tell the distant son, can not let him distracted, to say that the condition has been stabilized, so that he can rest assured that he will do his best for the country. Is such a well-intentioned lie a hindrance to integrity!
The late 1950s, the early 1960s, China and the former Soviet Union dispute, the former Soviet government tore up the contract to withdraw experts, treacherous behavior, making our national industry once paralyzed, in order to clear the debt owed to the former Soviet Union, Chairman Mao called on the country to practice iron and steel, to carry out the unprecedented Great Leap Forward, the Chinese people at the time, no one would have known that our At that time, no one in China would know that our country still owed a debt to others, and thought that after the liberation of our country, we would live a carefree life, but the leading comrades of the Party and the country took up the burden, and the lies that the leaders of the country told to the people at that time were well-intentioned and did not hinder the integrity of the people, and the vigor with which the people of China worked in the absence of any pressure created a miracle of an unprecedented nature. That era created the iron man Wang Jinxi, and Wang Jinxi led his oil drilling team, drilling the first oil well of our Chinese people .....
Second, in talking about our personal, I'm here to give two small examples:
Watched a TV report, said an old mother with kidney disease, if not kidney will be threatened, then the eldest son came forward to ask for his mother to donate a kidney, which can be painful to the old mother, the old mother strongly opposed, said that if so he might as well die. The son was afraid of delaying his mother's condition, so after discussing with his family, he tricked his mother into donating a young kidney to him. A young kidney donated to the mother, after successful surgery, the family is still hidden from the old mother, the most touching is the mother and son living in the next ward, the mother is not aware of, when the mother wants to see the oldest son, the family just lied to her that the son to go on a business trip, I was moved to tears after reading the report, friends, is it such a lie to impede the integrity of it?
A little girl with leukemia, in the late stages of her life, when the doctor asked what her biggest wish was, she said she wanted to go to Tiananmen Square to see the flag-raising ceremony, a dying girl's last wish, the doctor and the parents of which there is no reason not to meet it? But because her family lives in the distant Xinjiang, if her request is met, the doctor is afraid that the girl can not withstand the fatigue of the journey, so a collective lie organized by more than 2,000 volunteers and doctors and the girl's family began to lie, from the train to take the tourist bus, along the way, from the station to the waiter to serve tea, even to the travelers to talk to the passengers, are all intentionally arranged, and finally came to a school, in the military, to the police, to the police, to the hospital. A school, in the marching band accompanied by the sound of the national anthem, the blind girl thought she really came to the long-desired Tiananmen Square, when she saw her powerless to raise her small hand to the direction of the national flag salute, the people present all shed tears, this organized by more than 2,000 people in a collective lying action, you can say that their well-intentioned lies have impeded the integrity of it?
And, a lot of elderly people do not feel well and do not want to let their children know the first time, for fear of affecting the children's normal work and study! A lot of children fall down and say that it does not hurt, in order to let parents say that they are brave! There are many successful personnel behind the silent dedication of the woman tired, never complained, in order to let their husbands can rest assured that the work done better for the family to worry less about .....
[Positive]:
Moderator, judges, everyone!
It is a great pleasure to be here today to offer my opinion on the argument of whether or not good lies are a hindrance to honesty. Here are our views:
The fact that a well-intentioned lie is itself a lie is unquestionable. Lies, lying is cheating, cheating is immoral, immoral things are unpopular, these are playing small teachers and elders have been assiduously taught. But we ask ourselves, and who has not told lies? Whether it is to their loved ones, friends, or do not know each other, there are many kinds of purposes, but when we add a "good intentions" to the lie, as if everyone may accept it, which is precisely the weakness of human nature is the focus of the performance.
Mark Twain once said this. Twain once said, "When you can't make up your mind, tell the truth. It will embarrass your opponents and relieve your friends." Therefore, the view of psychologists is: don't lie easily, even if it's a well-intentioned lie.
(By:Wu Yunhui 09/25/09 09:35)
[Moderator]:
That a well-intentioned lie is itself a lie is unquestionable. Lies, lying is cheating, cheating is immoral, immoral things are not popular, these are playing small teachers and elders have been taught, but when we add a lie to a "goodwill", as if everyone may accept it, which is precisely the weakness of human nature's centralized manifestation. Mark Twain once said something like this. Twain once said this: "When you can't make up your mind, tell the truth. It will embarrass your opponents and relieve your friends." Therefore, the view of psychologists is: don't lie easily, even if it is a well-intentioned lie. We believe that the distinction between things should first start from the definition of the first elaboration, comprehensive KangXi dictionary interpretation, the good faith lie is not factual, say false, falsehood, exaggerate, cover up, distort the truth of the facts. From the well-intentioned lie phrase structure to analyze, it is a partial phrase, the center word is lie, so the well-intentioned lie is essentially a lie. Although the motive of the well-intentioned lies for good intentions, but because of the good intentions itself there is a certain degree of uncertainty, and thus repeatedly by some "professional liars" to take advantage of - this is an indisputable fact. The "lie" itself is dark, the good and bad things are not measured by the purpose of things, the good intention of the lie itself is false. Although it faded away the beggar clothes put on the cheongsam, but still can not get rid of the essence of its lies, and lies mean deception, thus impeding the integrity. Well-intentioned lies is the starting point of goodness, but often this lie once pierced, the other side of the harm will be deeper, as a lie itself, has been contrary to the integrity of the behavior. As General Secretary Hu Jintao said in his speech: "The socialist harmonious society we want to build, should be democracy and the rule of law, fairness and justice, honesty and friendship, vibrant, stable and orderly, and harmony between man and nature." Through the above analysis of various aspects, we believe that regardless of whether a lie is in a good purpose or not, as a lie will inevitably hinder integrity. The so-called well-intentioned lies may also lead to unforeseen consequences. And to give an example: someone is terminally ill, in order to let him live the rest of his life in peace, family and friends unanimously hide him from the public, which is in no way malicious or self-interested, but often fails to be as good as it should be, and the deception can not be sustained, but instead, the sick person loses the rationality of cooperating with the treatment and the time to deal with his personal affairs. The female philosopher Sisera? Polk warned that such lies can place a person on the verge of a major personality slide. In her book, Lying, Moral Choices in Public **** and Private Life, she writes: " Psychological barriers are removed, the ability to discern truth from falsehood becomes more blurred, and the notion that a lie will not be detected may tend toward paranoia..." Some psychologists who have studied the phenomenon of lying suggest that anyone who wants to tell a " well-intentioned lie" to a friend, relative, or coworker would do well to consider the psychological response involved in whether the other person would thank you for your good intentions if they knew the truth, or whether they would feel that their long-standing trust in you had been harmed by you. We believe that so-called kind lies are an impediment to integrity, but of course the lies here are not the egregious hoaxes that are often spoken of, but simply lies that pretend to affirm or support (but don't actually approve of) the practices, opinions, or viewpoints of spouses, relatives, and friends. Here is an example of a company manager named Tom in Southern California. Tom goes to his mother-in-law's house every year with his wife and his son for Thanksgiving. He actually dislikes one of his mother-in-law's "specialty" pumpkin pies, but tells her how delicious her pie is so as not to hurt her feelings. "Is that wrong?" Tom asked during his counseling session with his therapist. It's a question that quite a few people ask. This psychologist asked him to look at the lie from his mother-in-law's point of view. Suppose one day Tom's son spilled the beans in front of his grandmother and the mother-in-law found out how Tom really felt, would she tell Tom, "Thank you for your kindness?" Or would she feel emotionally hurt and say, "How could you mislead me like that all these years? What else have you been hiding from me?" And, what kind of questions will Tom's mother-in-law have about herself? Is Tom's son going to imitate his father's lying? What will he think of his father's character? Will he ever believe anything his father says again? A novelist once wrote this, "When we first try to lie, we are caught in the web of disorder we weave for ourselves." We believe that the opposite side has a fundamental error in understanding and recognizing some concepts. Integrity is based on mutual honesty, and any deception, even the so-called "goodwill" lies, can be said to be completely contrary to "integrity". On the "good faith" the concept of lies I think there is no need to argue again, has been analyzed very clearly. Honesty has been honored in ancient times. History back to 359 B.C., the Qin dynasty Shang Yang legislation to honesty to enrich the country and strengthen the army. The story of "standing on a log at the south gate" was played out. Ten years after the implementation of Shang Yang's law, "the people of Qin were very happy, no one would pick up the road, no thieves in the mountains, and the family had enough to feed the people". Now that China has joined the WT0 and the market economy is growing, if we let the counterfeiting and loss of credibility, it will cause great harm to the economic life and bring disastrous consequences to the social life, and the loss of trust will surely erode the trust between people like a plague, hindering the pace of the socialist market economy. Looking back at the pain of the skin, effectively advocate honesty, punish perfidy, improve the credit code of ethics and credit legal system, has been urgent, not wait for me to ask the opposite side of the defense, lies, lies, both lies have hindered the integrity of the other side of the defense, integrity is what? What does our society need?
We must reject lies and insist on honesty. How can we avoid the embarrassment that the opposing side encounters in their working life? Our side thought:
Rejecting it at the beginning would have prevented the later embarrassing situation. We now live in times when candor is unpopular.
"Don't you dare say that the lady next door is wearing an ugly hat, you hear me?"
"You're going to tell your new homeroom teacher 'I'm so glad you're our homeroom teacher'!"
We don't say similar things that we think from the bottom of our hearts, but we pick nice things to say to each other that don't make people sad. This is because we believe that you can't live without good lies.
Let's look at this from the opposite perspective, shall we? Someone is wearing a very ugly hat, and we can truthfully tell people that it really isn't very nice. This is because always telling good lies can also get you into trouble. Therefore, it is important to learn when to tell the truth and when to tell a well-intentioned lie, or it will lead to the result of not being able to tell the truth from the lie.
For example, suppose you receive a birthday invitation from a not-so-close friend over the weekend, and you don't want to go, but refuse and fear that the other person will be angry, and promise to be ambiguous. Time passes quickly, and it's almost time for your friend's birthday, you still don't want to go, and now you've found a reason to tell the other person that you can't go. Think about it, how will the other side look at you? The other side can definitely see that you are reluctant to go, and will be very angry.
You didn't say no in the first place, but you made your friend angry. What if you had made it clear when you were invited?
"I'm very happy to be invited, but I can't go because I'm in town that day."
If you had declined at the beginning, there would have been no later embarrassment.
Not the one who reads widely, knows more about the subject, and has participated in a debate
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