Men marry women in Heze, and the marriage relationship is relatively solid. Once upon a time, there were very few men and women who were free to love each other, and most of them were arranged by their parents and married by matchmakers, which was called "the order of parents and the words of matchmakers". Negotiation of marriage, that is, the matchmaker between the parents of both sides, to discuss the conclusion of the marriage relationship. There are temporary and professional matchmakers. Professional matchmakers are mostly middle-aged women with smart mouths, commonly known as "matchmakers", who are well-informed and well-informed, and receive gifts of gratitude for matchmaking. Matchmaker marriage, the first verbal inquiry into the intentions of the female party, the female party does not allow, generally only politely declined, the proverb "a woman, a hundred seeking", can not be allowed, but can not offend the matchmaker. If the two sides can make a marriage, this time generally by the male party to formally invite the matchmaker to discuss the engagement.
Marriage age In the old days, the custom of early marriage was more popular. General male 15-16 years of age to marry, and some even 10 years of age to marry 18, 20 years of age of the woman. Most of the early marriages were of women longer than men, generally seven or eight years apart. 1950 National Marriage Law stipulated that the age of marriage should not be less than 20 years for men and 18 years for women. 1980 Marriage Law stipulated that the age of marriage should be at least 22 years for men and at least 20 years for women. Since the Government promotes late marriage, the actual age of marriage is 25 years for men and 23 years for women. The age of marriage varies and is usually agreed upon one year before marriage, but in the olden days there were also arranged marriages, child marriages and child brides.
The next plea, also known as the "open name", "for posting", "for the book", "for the small print", is the The formal engagement instrument. Post with red paper written on the "positive relatives of so-and-so's long (second) son" and phases, sent by the matchmaker to the female family; the female family replied to the "allow posting", the post is written on the "positive relatives of so-and-so's long (second) female" and the The female family replied with "allow sticker", on which it was written "the first (second) daughter of so-and-so of the family of the bridegroom" and the phases of the genus, and sent it to the male family by the matchmaker. The poor family, only exchange small stickers, will be fixed for life. Wealthy families, but also to change the big stickers, also known as pass the invitation. Invitation sticker is a rectangular piece of red paper folded into four folds, commonly known as the "four Cambodia". The post is written on the "red rope good fate, a hundred years of good luck", "respect for the Golden Promise" and other words, in the morning by the matchmaker sent to the female family; female family in the repetition of the invitation on the envelope printed with "Guanghan Palace Palace", The female family printed on the envelope of the invitation "Guanghan Palace Hall", "to answer your order" and other words, after breakfast by the matchmaker sent to the male family. At noon on the day, the male family shall host a banquet for the matchmaker and the female guests. If you change the sticker, you will be fixed for life, like the red rope tying your feet, and you can't back out of it.
Choosing a good day is commonly known as "asking for a good day". The male family sent to the female family to discuss the bride's birthdate, generally the first and second female party did not agree to indicate that the female family can not afford to marry their daughters, in order to raise the price, the third time to agree. After the birthdate back, the man asked the fortune-teller to select the date of marriage according to the birthdate. Auspicious date selected, write a wedding list, indicating the marriage should pay attention to the matters, and with clothing, jewelry sent to the female family, known as "send good". The woman should return the fan, waist scarf, etc., with a packet of bran and a packet of salt, meaning "the couple is destined to be together".
The day before the wedding day, the man's family to post happy couplets, clean up the new room, add bed nets. In the afternoon, the bridegroom should first worship the ancestors, and then worship the elders and neighbors. Pleasant day zero, marrying people and horses first, rich families with sedan chair or car, the general family with oxen and horses car, on the tie "flute" (arched canopy), the front end of the hanging red felt, the back end of the hanging sheet, the car sits in a married woman woman, must be fully prepared (husband and wife, children, full of people), but also with a rooster and a boy (commonly known as the "hold the chirping Chicken"). The woman's family will return the gift with a hen, and also send a boy, known as "hanging curtains". Parents on both sides to the boy to give money, often give money to the male family to give a higher number of money than the female family.
Bride on the sedan chair (car) before the first "on the head", "open face", "wearing a wedding dress," called "adult! ". After the completion of the marriage of the person who fired a cannon "urge to drive", usually three times to urge, then the bride to cry bitterly, saying that they can not afford to give up their parents. Sedan chair (car) to avoid taboos and pay attention to the direction.
Dowry To be carried away by the male family in advance, or the mother's family one step in advance to send, the dowry how much, depending on the economic situation of the female family, generally divided into three large, three small, eight large, eight small, skillful thirteen, the whole dowry, and so on. Some poor families only accompanied by a cabinet or box, some even cabinet box is not, only a flower package package clothing.
Marriage taboo on the original road, generally out of the east into the west, on the road, such as wells, rocks, temples, cemeteries and crossroads are required to set off firecrackers, or use red felt to cover.
Generally around four o'clock in the morning the bride to the door of the male family, out of the two big girls, hand-held tray, on the wine and red paper sealing the door gift (money) to welcome, and then by a "fully prepared" women holding torches around the bride's sedan chair (car) around three times to show that the evil expelled from the road. Bride off the feet do not touch the ground, sitting on a chair, carried by people to the patio courtyard, standing on the red felt with the groom to worship heaven and earth. A worship of heaven and earth, two worship high hall, three husband and wife to worship. Then the bride from the red felt into the cave.
Inside the bridal chamber lit lamps, commonly known as "long life lamps", by marrying a woman with a scale pole to pick off the bride's "hooded red", the bride and groom line "together? Rites", drink "heart wine", the wedding is complete.
Liangshan, Yuncheng, Jancheng area, the marriage is generally in the morning after breakfast, to eleven or twelve o'clock at noon to marry the bride to go home, only to marry the widow in the night.
Newlyweds within three days, regardless of gender, young and old, can go to the cave to "make trouble", the night neighbors began to listen to the room, if no one to listen to the room, under the window or next to the door to put a broom, in order to replace the people.
The morning of the third day after the wedding, the bride woke up early to worship the in-laws, after breakfast to worship the elders of the family, the person to be worshiped shall be presented to worship money, wrapped in red paper, which is the bride's savings.
Three days, the bride and groom to go to the bride's home, commonly known as "back to the door", the ancient name of the "return". "Back to the door" when the groom is led by an experienced person, commonly known as "helpers", the role of the groom is to avoid impoliteness, and then afraid of the son-in-law excessive. On this day, the woman's family set up a feast, and invited maternal uncles, aunts and uncles to accompany the new son-in-law to sit on the top of the table, occupying one side. When the new son-in-law arrives at his father-in-law's home, he first worships the family tree or God, then his parents-in-law, and then he takes a seat, with a pair of cups and chopsticks in front of his new son-in-law. When eating happy noodles, the father-in-law's family sealed money to the groom with red paper, commonly known as "stranded noodles gift". When the groom returned to the door with gifts, the woman more than folded to stay, such as accepting part of the must have something better to return the honor. After the bride returned to the door, you can participate in the daily labor of the family.
Poor families, the wedding from the simple, very poor, often lead a young girl to the male family, commonly known as "child bride", to the age of marriage, and then the wedding.
In the old days, widows remarried and were regarded as shameful and unchaste. Rascals often take advantage of the opportunity to snatch, so the widow remarried, more at night, the rituals from the simple.
After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the State Council promulgated the Marriage Law, which abolished the feudal marriage system and stipulated that young men and women must make their own decisions, advocating free love and self-selection. Some are introduced by intermediaries, but the decision rests with the person himself. Now the Heze area of the vast rural areas of the betrothal is, first introduced by the intermediary, the parents of both sides agreed, and then let the young men and women to meet and talk, if there is no opinion, they will be exchanged gifts, and then open the name (also known as the exchange of stickers) betrothal. Before marriage, men and women negotiate the date of marriage, *** with the civil affairs department of the basic government for marriage registration procedures, and then held a wedding. 50's, the wedding is greatly simplified, the wedding dress is a new common style, there are a lot of newlyweds after the marriage registration procedures will go home together. 60's, the popular female accompanied by three or five partners to their in-laws, the male organization to meet the people on the road, beating gongs and drums, and to the home to hold a marriage ceremony. In the 70's, the man organized one or twenty young men and women to ride a new bicycle, wearing a red flower on their chests to the woman's home to bring back the bride, and then returned home to hold a simple wedding. in the 80's, the city began to use cars to get married, and the bride went to the hairdresser's store to freshen up in the afternoon of the previous day, and most of the bride's wedding dress was a red dress set, or a white wedding dress. In the countryside, a tractor is used to meet the bride before the wedding. In the city, young men and women for the marriage registration formalities held after the "traveling marriage" more and more. In order to change the customs and organize new ceremonies, there are many local governments or institutions in urban and rural areas of Heze region that hold collective weddings for more than two pairs of newly married couples. At the meeting, the government, the Women's Federation, the Youth League Committee representatives came to congratulate the newlyweds on behalf of the parents to give thanks, the venue firecrackers, applause, open a generation of new wind.