2. The son did something wrong and cried for a long time after being reprimanded by his father. Dad didn't pay any attention to him. When he stopped crying, his father asked him: "You're not crying anymore?" The son replied: "No, I want to rest for a while!"
3. My colleague had a cold and a runny nose, but he forgot his handkerchief, so he kept sucking the snot out of his nose. The language teacher, who was writing on the blackboard, suddenly turned around and yelled, "That's enough! Stop it! That's enough!" The class went silent. And then Honest went on to say: "Who is it that eats noodles in class and is so loud?"
4. In the morning on the subway, I met a bull. On the subway, a buddy's ringtone loudly, the passengers heard: "Grandpa, that grandson and give you a phone call...... Grandpa, the grandson called you again...... Grandpa, the grandson called you again ......." I saw the guy slowly and leisurely took out his cell phone and answered it, saying: "Hello! Dad, what's the matter ......"
5. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture, the patient said: "I think there is something in the shoes, holding the pole in the shake shoes, who knows that a fucking asshole from that passes by, thinking that I was electrocuted, they copied up the stick to give me two rolls."
6. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ants nest, the ants out of the nest, have climbed to the elephant. The elephant's body, the ants fell down. There was still an ant on the elephant's neck, and the ant that fell off shouted: "Strangle him...". Strangle him..."
7. The blind man rode his bike with Stutterer, who sat in front of him watching the road. Suddenly, he saw a deep ditch in front of him, and he exclaimed in panic: "Ditch ditch ditch!" Blind man heard after singing back: "Oh le oh le oh le!" So the two fell into the deep ditch to pull.
8. The tortoise and the hare race, the hare quickly ran to the front, the tortoise in the back crawling. Saw a snail crawling very slow very slow, said to the snail: "you come up, I carry you." Then the snail climbed up. After a while, the tortoise saw an ant, and said to him: "You also come up!" And the ant climbed up. When the ant went up, he saw the snail up there and said "Hello" to the snail. Do you know what the snail said? He said, "Hold on tight, this turtle is fast."
9. A couple of days ago, I was drinking with my friends, and I went to the restaurant bathroom to pee in a drunken stupor. I saw a sentence written on the wall, so I came close to take a look, wrote "do not look at, concentrate on peeing". When I finished reading it, I realized I had peed on my shoe.
10. A farmer was driving a horse-drawn cart to the market when he met a scoundrel at the market. The scoundrel said, "How do you do?" The farmer replied: "Hello!" The scoundrel then said, "I was talking to your horse." He laughed. Suddenly the farmer turned around and slapped the horse, saying, "Bastard, when did you have relatives in the city without saying so!"
11. The tortoise and the snail lived together, once the tortoise was injured, called the snail to help him to buy medicine. After 2 hours, the snail didn't come back. Turtle anxious loudly scolded: "TMD, not come back I will die!" At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: "You said I'm not going!" (Haha... This snail speed is also too slow it.)
12. Husband: "This month's landline phone bill, how suddenly so much?" Wife: "Mrs. Wang next door once borrowed a phone." Husband: "Even if she borrowed it once, it's not much more!" Wife: "She has a stutter."
13. A group of students in the tree under the military training, the instructor said: "The first row of the number." Everyone did not reflect. The instructor said loudly: "The first platoon reported!" Only to see the first platoon of a person, very reluctant to turn around and walk to the tree to hold the tree.
14. The teacher told a parent: "Your son's test plagiarized the neighboring seat, the reason is that they are wrong the same." The parent replied with displeasure: "Maybe the neighbor peeked at his." Teacher: "No. I asked 'What year did Napoleon die?' The neighbor answered 'I don't know,' and your son wrote 'I don't know.'" (The boy is too stupid to even know how to copy.)
15. A psychopath sang in bed, sang and sang turned over, lying on the pillow to continue to sing. The attending physician asked: "Singing on the singing, but also turn over for what?" The psychiatrist said: "Fool, A side of the song is finished, of course, to change the B side."
16. A college student was captured by the enemy, who tied him to a telephone pole and asked him: "Say, where are you from? If you don't tell me, I'll electrocute you!" The college student answered the enemy and was electrocuted. What he said was: "I am from the University of Electricity."
17. The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and said, "Be careful of the liver!" The patient smiled and said: "Little baby
18. A sister-in-law in the public **** car to see a man about to get off the packet of cigarettes fell on the pedal, so quickly said to the man: "Comrade, you smoke off!" The man was furious: "You're the one who dropped it!"
19. An English test, A gentleman is at a loss, suddenly saw B gentleman has filled, busy throwing paper over to ask for help. Not long after, B threw a paper ball. A gentleman was pleased, busy unwrapping. Only to see the paper wrapped in an eraser, eraser four sides of the drawing of A, B, C, D four letters, there are a few small words on the paper: "Throw yourself!"
20. Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died, and on the day of his funeral, his family cried out in pain and called his name: "Shuang ah... Sharp... Sharp..."
Then a passer-by, seeing the scene, asked, "What are you doing?"
Cool family members suddenly sobbed: "Cool!"
21. When I was in high school, once after class, my classmates rushed outside to buy boxed lunches. A girl in order to get there first than others, around a shortcut to go, the result of the front manhole cover is not covered, fell down! A moment later she braced herself against the edge of the manhole to climb up, it was a mess, a group of junior high school kids horrified to walk past, she was actually in a hurry, while climbing, said: hey! Really difficult to repair ah ......
22. field camping, in the middle of the night, A asked B: "We open our eyes to see the sky full of stars, explain what?" B replied: "That tomorrow is good weather again ah! What's wrong?" A: "Fool, our tent was stolen!"
23.Three men went to the store to buy something. The first man said to the boss, "I want a bag of peanuts." The boss gets a ladder and goes up to the second floor to get the package of peanuts, then moves the ladder away. The second guy says to the owner, "I want a bag of peanuts too." The owner says, "My X, didn't say so earlier." Then he asks the third guy, "Do you want a bag of peanuts too?" "I don't want it." The third guy says. The owner gets a ladder and goes up to the second floor and gets another bag of peanuts, then moves the ladder away. Ask the third man, "What do you want?" "I want two packages of peanuts!" The third man says. The owner faints!
24. A man went to the river to fish. He put on a leaf first, and no fish took the bait for half a day. He then changed to a piece of bread, and no fish took the bait for half a day. He had no choice but to change the earthworm, or half a day no fish on the hook. He was so angry that he took out 100 dollars and slammed it into the water, cursing: "Fuck, what do you want to eat?
25. A child is always crying behind a pregnant woman, the pregnant woman finally got impatient, turned around and asked: child, what's wrong with you? "Auntie," the child sobbed: I lost my balloon. Did you hide it in your stomach?
26. One person went to do the bus in the morning! But the bus just happened to be leaving!
So he chased after it!
While chasing also shouted: "Master wait for me! Master wait for me! Master ********"
A good thing passengers put their heads out the window!
Loudly shouted: Wukong do not chase!
27. There was a small child sitting in a doorway playing
A middle-aged man asked him: Is your father home?
The child replied: home
The middle-aged man went to ring the doorbell and rang for a long time, but no one opened the door
So the man asked angrily: Why did not you open the door?
The child chewed up his mouth and said, "I don't know, this is not my home!
28. A university strictly prohibits students from falling in love, one night, the dean of the faculty patrol to the playground, found a pair of student lovers are kissing, the dean of the faculty rushed to the two of them shouted: Shut up!
29. Accompanying a friend to see a netizen,
nearly to the time,
friends pointing to a not far away a strange and ugly girl to the driver said:
"See that woman?"
"See, stop there?" The driver said back.
Friend booms out, "No, run her over!!!"
30. Once the girl was sick, the boy accompanied her to see the hospital room IV, ten minutes, twenty minutes passed, there was no movement. The boy thought to break the silence, asked: "Cold?"" Cold!" The girl back." Cold I give you cover?" The girl blushed and whispered, "Yes!" Then the boy got up and covered the IV bottle with his hand.