Who has the lines of Feng Gong's skit Unlocking?

Huang: Friends of the audience good New Year ah, people are happy with the heart smile, the old couple did not take wedding photos, wearing a wedding dress tuxedo, is the same as the new quilt face wrapped in the old quilt cover. Alas, now this photo technology is really high, you say that my daughter-in-law that body type long with the fat, like a photo flute like Dong Qing. See, ah ~! This small waist is also a foot eight ah, the actual situation of three feet six, all rely on the lap-band strangulation, after taking pictures of a lap-band that stomach with folding chair like, collapse fork on the way out. Today is the housewarming, plus the twentieth anniversary of the wedding, I want to come to a surprise to my daughter-in-law to order a table of the best candlelight dinner, okay? Oops, oops, booking a candlelight ...... I don't have any money in my pocket, right, when I moved, my daughter-in-law locked all the money in this box, just a key is still in her hand, a hand, a hand, a hand, that's how it came to be. Now this lesbian ah, is how to affordable how to come, before and after marriage two cards, before marriage to bride price, after marriage to financial ah. There is a locksmith company downstairs, I give him a new thing, I find the locksmith company (dialing the phone). Hey, open the lock company, I am 110 ah, ah! I am the opposite neighborhood 110 room, I want to open the lock, thank you, thank you ah! Now this community service is too convenient, want to open the lock to find a lock company, want to move to find a moving company, but the thief is also convenient, do not have to do it yourself, make two phone calls all done. LIN: Good New Year, friends! Good New Year! Good New Year. Since there is a security door, busy bad us locksmiths, open the east home to open the west home, pry the door broken locks for the people. yeah! (ring the doorbell) Huang: come on! Come on! ..... Lin: big brother. Huang: Hey. Lin: open the lock? Huang: open the lock. Lin: Hey, you lock is not open open it? Hwang: I'm opening that box. LAM: This lock! HUANG: Yes, yes, yes. ...... Yes. LAM: No problem! Huang: Right! Lin: Please show valid documents such as ID card, real estate license, and account book. Huang: ah~ ha, hey. The documents are all there, all locked in this box, so, you help me open the box, I will show you the documents. LIN: If you show me your papers, I'll open the case for you. HUANG: If you don't open the case for me, I can't show you my papers. LIN: If you don't show me your papers, I can't open the case for you. HUANG: You open the case for me first, and then I'll show you my ID! LIN: You show me your papers first, then I'll open the case for you! Huang: I'll show you my ID first, then you can open the case for me! LAM: I'll open the case for you first, then you show me your ID! HUANG: That's right! LAM: Yeah! The program is a little messy, a little messy. You have to show your ID, and then I'll open the case for you. Huang: No, why are you so stubborn? What about you ..... Lin: Big brother, this is the rules of the trade ah, in case you are not the owner of this house, then I'm not looking for trouble? Huang: Ch, how am I not the owner of this house? I'm not the owner of this house. Look at the photo, take a look, see, this is me, right? Lin: Yes. HUANG: This is my wife, isn't it? LAM: Not necessarily. HUANG: Not necessarily. ..... HUANG: Can I take this picture if it's not my wife? We can be so close? Lin: Aiya big brother, this does not mean anything, nowadays technology is rising, on the Internet your head put together to me, my ass put together to you. Bill Gates can kiss Yang Guifei, Qin Shi Huang can snuggle with Britney Spears. Huang: Well... You can stop me from unlocking the door, I can't let you not trust me, so have a seat. LAM: Thank you. HUANG: I'll get you a proof (gets phone). Huang: Bringing a diaper (Lin stands up and looks at Huang)? Sit down. ..... (dialing phone). Huang: Hello? Property, right? I'm in room 110, ah! Something's up, thanks. Come on up. Have a good time. .... Thank you. Oh, I understand very well. It's normal for you to be a bit paranoid. You guys have been picking doors and locks all day. Lin: Hey, hey, we are professionals. Huang: Yes, you are professional, non-professional that set that are not all in it! Lin: not big brother, we in the Public Security Bureau is a record. Huang: absolutely have to record, to be honest, you look like this little long a little illegal, ah ah ah ah ...... Aiya, this small eyes to you to grow, this year, this year, right? Ah? Lin: Brother, I do not belong to the rat. Huang: Impossible! This is not, face are written this it, thieves eyebrow, thieves eyebrow and rat eyes! Lin: not ..... Brother Huang: I joke with you, in fact, you are also responsible for our owners well! Lin: No, accurately is responsible for the owner of this house. Huang: I am the owner, you'll see in a minute. (Kung on stage) Kung: Hi! Dear viewers, how are you? I'd like to wish you a happy New Year! Aigoo! They say that our property company's service is poor. We always quarrel with the owners, I am not the same, see who all greetings, I am more greetings less scolded, hi! (ringing the doorbell) Huang: Hey! Come on! Come to ..... Kung: Hi! Huang! (Kung puts on shoe covers) Oops! (Kung putting on shoe covers) Oops! It's so civilized. In the past, I used to take off my shoes when I entered the door, but now I enter the door with a cover. Kung: Ah~! It's for the sake of you homeowners, wearing shoe covers and stepping on it is not dirty. Huang: Look at others, you are not wet, he is not dirty, one protects the foot, one protects the file. No, that ..... The gear is not the same. Let me introduce, this is the property company. Kung: Hi! Lin: yeah! Huang: That one is from the locksmith company. Kung: Yeah! I want to give my wife a surprise, but the money is locked in the box! It's locked in a box. But I want him to open the box, he may be a bit distrustful of me, prove that I am the owner of the house. Kung: No problem. Huang: Listen! Kung: Please show me your ID card, real estate license, household registration and other valid documents. (Nodding) Huang: No, that that documents have, (Kung nodded and said en) then not all locked in the box. Kung: Isn't he a locksmith? HUANG: He is a locksmith! Kung: It's very simple! Huang: It's very simple! Kung: Please open the case, that's all. LAM: That's too easy, how can I open it if you don't give him proof? Kung: If you don't open it for him, how can I prove it to him? HUANG: No, it's not that complicated, it's very simple. It's very simple. Just prove to him that I am me! Kung: No. We have a system! We have a system, I can't see your ID, I can't prove that you are you! Huang: Then I'm me, don't I know myself? Kung: If you know yourself, why do you need me to prove it? Huang: Don't you know me? Kung: I don't know you! Wong: You don't know me, you greet me every day! (Kung smiles) Kung: We are in the real estate business, we have to greet everyone. It's a courtesy! Kung: Hi! LAM: Yeah! Kung: Hi! Kung: Hi! Come on, come on, come on look at this picture, this is me right? Kung: Yes. Wong: That's my wife, right? Kung: not really. 黃：不一....... Huang: Not my wife can take this photo? Not two people can live together? Kung: Aigoo! Nowadays, two mouths do not necessarily live together, live together is not necessarily two mouths. Huang: What do you mean, what do you mean? This is ...... (Several people arguing) LAM: He means that the relationship between two families is like the relationship between a key and a lock. Kung: Right. Lin: It used to be a key with a lock. Kung: the original match. Huang: the original match! LAM: Now it's a lock with several keys. Kung: A messy match. Huang: Who's a messy match! （Lin: He doesn't know you for sure, do you know him? HUANG: Of the property. Lin: What's his last name? HUANG: Hi. What's his name? HUANG: Hi. Kung: Hey! Why can't you speak, Mr. Kung? HUANG: I don't know how to talk. (They argue again.) HW: What do you call yourself if not Yee Hi? Kung: (pulling out his handkerchief) I owe you a flat. Kung: Here are my credentials, humble as in modest, flat as in magpie, I owe you a flat. Kung: If you don't take out your ID, who will know that you owe me a good beating! Kung: Take a good look. HUANG: This little model really owes me a beating (taking the document to Lin) LIN: With the document, can you open it? HUANG: Yes, you can. Kung: You can drive. Kung: Stop! You can't open your case with my ID! If he's not the owner of this house, I'll be an accomplice. Rin: Isn't this a gang? Kung: Yes! Hwang: What are you talking about, what are you talking about! What do you take me for? Think of me as a bad guy, don't you? I tell you I have not done any bad things since I was a child, I honor my parents, I treat my children well, I love my wife, I have not had an affair for so many years, I'm not wrong that I? Kung: Aiya~! This good comrade, this is just your privacy. Lin: It proves nothing. Kung: Yes. Huang: I'll prove it to you, I'll prove it to you right away (dialing the phone), hey, honey, where are you? Oops, what's with the beauty, hurry home, something's going on at home. The sooner the better, good, this is it. Huang: Please sit down, my wife will be right back. The key is in his hand. If he opens this box, I'll see what you say. I'll show you whether this house is my house, whether the box is my box, whether I am me, whether my wife is my wife. (Dong on stage) Dong: Hubby! Oops! A woman is always grooming herself when she is free, and her husband is like a follower. It's been twenty years and he's still clinging to me, so I can't even leave him for a while! Boring! (Dong walks through the door) Dong: Rush, rush, rush, what are you rushing for. Huang: Oops! Dear you can come back. There's something going on at home. Watch this, am I not me? I'm not me, am I? Yellow: Is this my wife? Hop says: Not necessarily. Dong: Ah~! Huang: Stand over here, let everyone say, if it's not two people dare to hold hands like this? If it's not the two of them, how dare you put your arms around each other like this? I also dare to come more intimate action you believe? Do you believe me? I'm not going to fall for that. I tell you middle-aged couples a kiss, nightmares can be good for a few nights ah! Dong: What are you talking about? Huang: honey, not this meaning, honey, you hurry to open the lock of the box. Dong: Oops! Open the case for what ah? Huang: I let you open you open it! Dong: Hey! Why are you so nosy (digging through the bag to find the key)? Dong: Oops! Huang: What's wrong? Dong: I lost the key! Huang: ah ah ah ah ...... How could you lose your keys? You can lose money, things, and people, but how can you lose your keys? Dong: What's the big deal? Isn't there a locksmith company downstairs? Huang: They are not not open it! Dong: He's a fool for not earning money. Huang: He is more stupid than stupid. Dong: Find the property company. Huang: Property is even more stupid than him. Dong: Oops, you find them both a piece of it ~! Huang: This is not these two fools are standing here! (They bow to Dong) Hi. Yeah! Gong: I'm from the property company. LIN: I'm from the locksmith company. DONG: That's good, you can prove it, and you can unlock the door! Kung: No problem. Hop said: Please show your ID card, real estate license, household registration and other valid documents. Dong: hey ..... Huang: enough, I see you this is into the heart, I do not need you to open the lock, I do not need you to prove that it is not a lock? Said the day is a hammer thing, today I open my own, I let you see if there are documents in the box! (Taking out the documents from the box) Huang: I grew up, all the documents are stored here! Birth certificate, student certificate, graduation certificate, work permit, marriage certificate, one-child certificate, sterilization certificate, family planning certificate honor card, grain and oil certificate, rich real certificate, purchase oil certificate, purchase coal certificate, family planning certificate, bicycle certificate, tricycle certificate, motorcycle certificate, car driver's license, laid-off certificate, on-the-job training certificate, public medical certificate, medical insurance certificate, real estate certificate, share certificate, ID card. Why are there so many certificates in this life? I don't believe that so many certificates can't prove my identity. Lin: Brother, I can unlock the door for you. Kung: I can prove your identity for you. Huang: late, the car hit the wall you know to turn; stock up you know to buy; made a mistake and sentenced you know to repent; big snot flowing into the mouth you want to get up to shake ah? Kung: Ah? Huang: You still think yogurt, you ah! Kung: No, no, no, sir you do not get angry I am mainly for the sake of your owners? Huang: Then why don't you think about me? Kung: Don't talk like that, we are a neighborhood. Dong: A neighborhood why don't you prove it for us? Kung: Aigoo! We are a family! Huang: What family? You don't know me? Kung: I have always regarded you as our food and clothing parents! Dong: Parents and you are still angry with us. Huang: You see how angry you make your mother? Hop said: such a child unfilial wow ~! Huang: Don't get on their bad side, think about where the key is lost, a lock brings so much trouble. A string of keys all lost, our home ...... Wait, what are you doing? What are you doing? The real estate company, did you see that? I want to unlock the door and he has to prove that he didn't have our permission to unlock our door. DONG: That's right LIN: Brother, your door key is not lost, this lock is not safe, I gave you a change of lock core, key. Gong: Mr. ah, just now we are a small misunderstanding, now we want to bless you happy and prosperous. Dong: Thank you, thank you. Huang: A key opens a lock, changed the lock cylinder, opened the heart lock. Dong: key ~! Huang: still have to hand over a hand ah! End