Liking someone is like loving Mount Fuji. You can see him, but you can't move him away.
What is the best way to move a Mt.
The answer is, you walk there yourself.
The same is true of love, strolling through is enough.
1,
Children's Day, June 1, 2017, was probably the hardest to forget in my first eighteen years.
Just fired by the internship company, full of anger and nothing to do, lying at home like a salted fish for a week, a weekend afternoon boredom open the computer flipping through the articles previously written, suddenly found a reading progress of only twenty percent of the article.
This is rarely seen in the past, my reading habits almost every time there is a new article is almost always the first time to read finished, look at the article's creation time is in half a year ago.
We can be sure that this is not written by him, then who will it be?
With doubts continue to read on, half an hour after the article all read.
I lay on the bed for half a day, looking at the corner of the air-conditioning blowing mouth, open swing, blowing mouth from time to time up and down swinging, the cold wind blowing away the hair, straight drill scalp.
2,
Summer nights are sweltering, but occasionally in a gust of cold wind blowing I'm a happy-go-lucky have always thought that God is fair.
Joy and sadness, light and darkness always come together.
This weather is no different.
"Tired, I have a headache, I'll turn off the air conditioning."
There was a red light ahead, and my sister turned off the car's air conditioning.
"Turn it off, I'll open some windows to get some air."
I opened the window, a sense of heat instantly swept away, instantly crowded the cool carriages, off-work rush hour on the road above all the congestion of the car.
As soon as the day gets hot, people tend to get grumpy.
But this is at least a little popular, right?
The car blocked for almost ten minutes, long after the three traffic lights, but the crowded traffic did not advance half a meter, filled with the sound of the horn.
In fact, the front of the two cars simply did not hit, but the front of the Infiniti braked a bit, the back of the Buick's uncle is not forgiving people, have to find each other to account for clearly.
I don't know what kind of account can be calculated? The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty!
Knowing that the other party is a female driver, the back labeled a novice, you know better not to come so close to it. The female driver is also the attitude to serve a soft can not? How than others also fierce it? Is it menopause? Go up to drag people's clothes, if replaced by a man this has long been treated as a hooligan to see.
Previously, I read in a book above that everyone has a car anger disorder, different class, the reaction shown is different.
But if you think about it, everyone is in a hurry, thinking about shortcuts, but have you ever thought that this may also be the end of the road.
Even if the blessing of life, a lifetime of no accident, but anger is always bad, easy to break the life, the same uneconomical.
Sister obviously seen more of this kind of thing, understand that a moment will not be resolved, simply mediate the chair, so that they are comfortable to lie on it, holding a cell phone to madly brush the screen.
I looked at my sister's brow tightened, a serious and imminent appearance, the heart can not help but think of the afternoon to read the piece of article, and lamented: people are really a complex and contradictory creatures ah.
"Sister, you frowned again."
Sister did not raise her head, continued to brush the screen of the phone: "Ah ah ah ah ah ah! Pissed off, didn't grab it!"
Sister angry throw the phone, hands stretching their forehead, mouth still keep chanting: "will grow wrinkles, will grow wrinkles."
"Don't you self-hypnotize."
"It's not your fault that you chose such a day to come out to eat, of course I have to go and book a seat first, otherwise we will arrive in a while and can't even get in the door of other people's homes! Ouch hey, my head hurts again!" Sister rubbed her temples.
"What are you going to do next? You've been home for almost a week, right? Your mom didn't rush you?"
"Rushed, how can I not destroy, like the life-threatening judge, I just annoyed headache, just find you out to dinner to avoid a little."
I sidled over to look at my sister smiling, "Sister, J you remember?"
Sister froze, puzzled: "Who?
Sister froze, puzzled: "Who? What J?"
"Aiya, it is when you were a child and you confessed to you, followed you home ah!"
Sister like being stepped on the tail of the cat, the whole person subconsciously pranced up, the result of forgetting the seat belt on the body, hard to drag her back again, the back of her head hard yanked on the headrest, the pain straight grin, but still do not forget to threaten.
"Brat, how do you know? Who told you that?"
"You, or else think who else would know such a thing?"
"Geez! How could I tell you such a thing! When did this happen?"
"Last year, didn't you write an article? You asked me to polish it up for you!"
My sister was incredulous, her hands covering her little face as her pitch climbed, "Oh my God! That's horrible! I can't believe I forgot all about it! It feels like I'm in a dream."
Tick-tock!
Behind the car, a jumble of horns sounded.
"The big man! To die ah! Go!"
Sister then back to God, gear start, in the corner when suddenly behind the jeep may be the wrong lane want to merge into our lane.
It's really not that we don't let them go, it's too much traffic, so they can't let them go.
The angry driver can only hit the direction to drive back, who thought the original position was also occupied, all of a sudden stuck in the two congested lanes can not be moved.
My sister said a word: "stupid."
I immediately picked up: "forced!"
My sister never swears, it's her idea of cultivation, swearing is bad.
But when the fire comes up, it doesn't hurt if you don't curse, so you often need someone to match her!
3.
My sister said that person is the one she is most likely to marry.
For the man who may become my brother-in-law, always full of curiosity, my sister is nine years older than me, so the two of them in the heat of the moment I guess I still do not know where to play in the mud it.
4,
Sister and that person is a junior high school classmate, fifteen, six, seven, youthful, it is the beginning of the sinus, the age of gender attraction.
Cardamom, the most beautiful rainy season of life.
I believe that is also the most difficult to forget the time in each life.
The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty.
5,
I remember that the article was written in this way, tentatively called him.
That period of junior high school campus popular Taiwan idol drama, boys and girls between the youth hormone secretion, boys have imitated the idol drama inside the male protagonist, speak when the tongue is like a knot general, operating a mouth of cottage-like Taiwan dialect, trouser leg tube up, red scarf inverted to wear, and even a very few courageous boys secretly stayed up now looks very kill Matt! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on some of the most popular products and services in the world, and you'll be able to do that.
Often this group of students is the teacher's mouth "bad boy", do not love to study, mischief, but also in this group of students we can see the interpretation of youth.
Men are not bad, women do not love.
This is the truth is so, the more bad students are more likely to receive female classmates.
The female students tend to class matters, learning things to find them trouble, this way to be justified, but not by the teacher parents suspect.
He and I are typical of this, I should be the kind of people who usually hang around, but when it comes to the critical moment often exceeds the normal performance.
I really don't mean to brag, because I don't think it's a good thing that people who are really good at what they do can't even breathe or poop!
One class test, I managed to get the position of study committee member, and I became the teacher's close friend, became the envy of the students' eyes idol, and also smooth Chen Zhang and Jin Hao became the same table, he is the grade in the famous troublemaker.
I still remember the teacher's seriousness to her on the account: "You are a good student, and is a member of the study, but also the teacher's right-hand man, it must be to take up this responsibility, for the teacher to look at the good supervision of his learning, the teacher will be in the eyes of the eye!"
6,
Probably to the spring, the boys in the body of the hormone secretion of the more intense, all in the girl confession, one after another, round after round, regardless of whether in the end is truly like a good feeling, as long as the girl confession is a very bullish and manly thing, and from now on can stand firm to recruit a large number of junior.
He as a grade "bad students" on behalf of the delay in action, not only the little brother puzzled even I also began to wonder, he really like who ah?
The first reaction that popped into my head was to wonder if he was gay, which was too avant-garde and too bold, and I almost immediately dismissed the idea.
I remember when he called me at home every day, and every time my mom picked up, Jin Hao would say, "Auntie, I'm looking for Su Wen to ask about homework."
His confession is the day before the school field day, he took a few "beloved" with me to follow me home, junior high school when we are riding a bicycle, I actually so I rode all the way did not find someone behind me to follow, and now think of my hearing is not good is also based on junior high school may be a little back of the ear, and then I arrived at the door of the house, only to find out that I had not been able to find someone behind me. Then I went to the door of the house when I realized that there are people outside the window, a look is actually him and a few male students, scared me almost cried, I'm afraid to be seen by the grandmother later on will not be able to say ah! With a sobbing voice called them to hurry up and go, he is also estimated to be my reaction scared, and classmates rushed to ride the car and ran.
I hid in the room to watch TV, he called, I do not want to be found by mom so very soft: "What?"
I don't think I've ever spoken so softly in my life.
I don't remember the exact content of the call very well, but I do remember that the three boys were grabbing the phone, and I only remember that he said, "Suwen, I like you."
I was shocked and confused and quickly said, "I don't like you."
I hung up the phone with a snap and hid inside the room.
In fact, at that time I did not know what to like or not like, I just subconsciously answer.
Only after he called again I never dare to answer.
7,
Some things, the more you do not want to face, the brain wants to think like a wind.
In fact, there are a few boys to me before he confessed, but that time is still small, really do not understand these, almost every time is startled, back to a sentence I do not like you, and then on the end of the matter.
It's a good idea to have a good time, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.
My story with him didn't really start until a few years later, it was short, but it hurt just as much.
Love is like that, it doesn't show you mercy because of the length of time.
Like a hedgehog, it will not remove its defenses just because you are good to it.
Love, after all, is a poison that hurts people.
Perhaps this is the most fascinating part of love, like a flower coated with poison, many years later, I saw a sentence used to describe the most appropriate.
I suppose all great happiness is a little sad. beauty means the scent of and then the death of rose......
"I suppose all great happiness is a little sad. Beauty means the scent of and then the death of rose......"
The next day at the field day, he signed up for the high jump. The "bad boys" don't get good grades, but the games are often their stage.
I didn't understand at the time why he had to high jump when he was so short, what if he tripped over the pole? It's not very humiliating, is it? He is such a person who loves face, how can he think of it? Well, it must be a brain problem, or else he wouldn't have said that kind of thing yesterday.
Until later I realized that his bouncing power is very good, the school athletic meet when he seems to have taken the place, but I did not look at him, I remember him in the high jump when I was cheering for the long-distance running girls, but also and they embraced each other as if they had taken the place.
That's right, they wouldn't have won without my cheering, so I'm half on the medal!
After the race back to the classroom, students and I said he had a fever, asked me to go to comfort a little bit, what logic why do I have to go to comfort? I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm going to be able to do it, and I'm going to be able to do it! I have not yet found him to settle accounts, and now want me to go to comfort, so embarrassing to go what!
"I'm not going."
I bet like to sit on the other students position, the whole classroom only left us two, very quiet, do not know why but always assured, the heart is like there is a line tightly taut.
I'm not sure if I've ever had a good time, but I'm sure I've had a good time.
I just want to turn my head, I found j has been lying on the table secretly looking at me, I immediately blushed, pretending not to look at him, deliberately averted his gaze, the whole person like a ceiling fan generally turned around.
Su Wen what are you doing! The first thing you need to do is to look at the other side of the room and see if you can't see the other side of the room!
Sure enough, the sound of j snickering came from behind.
His voice was hoarse, probably really sick and heavy it, sounds actually have a trace of heart soft, as if by a silver needle piercing the heart. "Eh, do not turn, I am dizzy."
Dizziness is none of my business!
I thought to myself, stood up and under his surprised gaze I walked in front of him and took his cup and poured a glass of water and handed it to him, then sat back down on my seat.
He held the cup in his arms, did not drink it, turned his head sideways with his cheek pressed against the cold desktop gaze unashamedly straight at me, I do not even need to look to know that the face must be hung with a silly smile.
"Hey, don't drink it is going to be cold."
I pulled out a favorite comic and read it.
He: "It's okay, my heart is warm."
Yuck, that's gross!
I read this page of comics ten times, and the book was crumpled.
8,
I began to pay attention to him, from passive attention to active attention, so that because he was always in front of me in school, listening to class, sleep and look at me, class play play fight to go to the kiosk to buy snacks, after school will still call me every day to ask me to go home homework.
All of this seems to be the natural order of things, as a matter of course.
The scariest thing is that I actually slowly got used to it, and both sides began to accept it.
Now that I think about it, I really don't know if my mom really doesn't understand the psychology of junior high school students or if she deliberately plays dumb, and actually so silently transferred for a long time, and then once inadvertently mentioned it to know that my mom really doesn't know, but my mom still remembers it.
"It's that little boy who keeps calling to ask you about your homework!"
That's how my mom remembers him.
Unsolicited attention was paid to him because as a straight face, what's that saying?
Oh oh, no comparison does no harm.
And J a comparison I realized that the previous confession of the boy really looks average, he is much more handsome.
I slowly realized that he is actually quite interesting, he likes to play basketball, every time I pass by he will be full of energy as if playing chicken blood began to show the operation, throw the ball very high and then wait for the ball down to throw very high again.
At that time, all of us looked at him like a fool, and the more people looked at him, the more he got excited.
A boy is always a child in front of his favorite girl, and he likes to show that he is very powerful.
Hahahahahaha Here allow me to use five big laughs.
That time was great.
In junior high school when the cell phone is not so popular, but j is the first among us to have a cell phone, every day I do not know why he has to bring a cell phone to class, and can not be used, and no one will be able to play so many phone calls and send so many text messages with him, and now think of it may be that he is in the show of wealth it.
Unfortunately, I didn't get his point, he must be very lost.
A spring trip I was responsible for taking pictures of everyone, in the car to take a picture of him, this photo is still in my home album, many years did not turn the album, but I can still remember clearly in my mind point of his expression at that time.
I remember when I rushed out to take it home after my mom said that this boy looks good. （
My mom's second impression of him was that he was a good-looking boy.
When he was in junior high school, he liked JJ Lin, and I liked Jay Chou, and then when we met again, he liked Pan Wei Bai, and I still like the old Zhou.
Fickle man, said that the life only love one person?
Like Jay Chou in fact also because of him, because when JJ Lin and Jay Chou are very red, the kiosk ah audio-visual store ah even the stationery store are both their songs, contracted our youthful years.
He said to me that he likes JJ Lin, I said I like Jay Chou.
In fact, that time is not very understanding of the old Zhou, I still say so, is like and he against, see him angry look. The first time I saw him, I was so happy to see him, and I was so happy to see him, I was so happy to see him, I was so happy to see him.
9,
Then I slowly realized that I like him, but I dare not say it, even in front of my best friend I have to pretend, see him will also detour.
It should be like this, no matter how unscrupulous in front of other people, once you meet a favorite person on the goat, goat like a dog, woeful.
The more you like a person, the more you will hide, afraid of others to see through their own little heart.
This hide, he liked someone else, I still sit at the same table with him, but I did not show a hint of sadness, pretending to look as if nothing happened.
The fairy tale ended before it began, or maybe the previous series was my own fantasy, that's all.
Now it seems that I like a person again will not go to take the initiative to confess, this should be playing mother's womb has been set, I can be attributed to the girl to be reserved point.
I'm too stubborn and arrogant.
Every day, I watched him run after other girls and said that I was not sad, it is not true that we did not get together again, but the most upsetting thing is that he likes to soften his feet is a very fierce, and not good-looking, and the edge of the girl is very bad.
I am angry at his vision, aesthetic.
More angry at himself.
I can't figure out what to do, there is no reason to like someone, they didn't end up together, he ended up with a very beautiful girl in our class.
My mood inexplicably happy, no reason to be happy.
Why are boys so philandering no matter what, they talk about them and I learn mine.
I don't have so much heart to care about this, the midterm examination is the big thing!
Wait until after the midterm ......
I really didn't run away, the concept of the lesser of the two is always consolidated in my mind.
Then the midterms were over, graduation breakup season, and they seemed to separate, and I couldn't remember.
10,
After the midterm I used my cell phone to give j a phone call, did not confess, is always a regret, then listen to his voice is good, and may not see each other again.
As if that time to call every day to ask homework homework him, only, after connecting to hear him feed feed feed voice feed hung up, I said really wimpy, from the past to the present, are very wimpy.
Our story from the midterm drew to a close, we entered a different high school, no longer contact.
He would have been the first boy I liked in my haze, so maybe that laid the groundwork for what happened a few years later.
Before the winter vacation of freshman year, one day on qq, I do not know why I have been invisible inexplicably become online, he probably saw over and I chat to catch up with the past, we talked about each other's recent situation, once the most familiar people, after the passage of time, will be on the defensive with each other, be careful with words, afraid of touching the offense to each other.
Perhaps this is also the sadness of adults, growing up always need to pay the price, in order to get the so-called "freedom", we lost the past innocence.
The God is always fair.
I learned that he talked about a girlfriend in high school, separated for more than half a year. That girl in my opinion is a lot of backwards chasing the girl's learning object, I asked around the boys, boys are more like their own chase, but j is very good to her, at least in my opinion really good, and very stupid.
Honestly, and with an open heart, I envy her and am jealous of her.
Hated that I could be her, but I knew it couldn't be.
Then we made an appointment to meet, I watched him run up from the bottom on the footbridge when I felt a long, long, long time to see see a little embarrassed smile, we have become each other's most familiar strangers.
At that time, my inner monologue should be okay did not grow disabled, but also quite handsome, but how to still so short?
Because he is the shortest of all, only one meter seven.
11,
We went to eat a meal together, talked to the sky, each other still feel good, there is a kind of gradual retrieval of the former feeling.
After a few days he came to confession, this time he said: "Suwen, we are together."
I said, "Yes."
It was a natural, subconscious response, and what I really thought deep down.
Who says two parallel lines can never intersect?
Many years later, I saw this quote from a copy of The Best of Us given to me by my brother, and it felt most appropriate.
"At that time he was the best him, many years later I was the best me, the best between us separated a whole youth, how to run can not cross the youth."
This is what I owe him, owe myself a whole youth to answer.
Well, we are not old.
Perhaps this is the arrangement of the underworld, God destined, round and round a circle, God let us renew our former relationship, I have said God is the most fair. Of course, we can not deny that part of the reason because he is handsome ah! Really handsome! After all, I am a face control, although my height requirements may force the face to be a little higher, but his words, one meter seven I also like.
He is very omnipotent, will cook, ordinary table of home cooking absolutely no problem, it is said that he himself said braised pork is the most skillful, but I have not had the time to taste; will do the laundry, a lot of clothes he likes to hand-wash; will be dancing street dance, he installed a mirror wall in the home, their own practice dance; will play basketball, although short but played very well, junior high school, I know; will be singing, the flip version of Pan Weibei. As a scorpion man, I think he is so gentle, never speak out loud to me, what I say is what, a hundred obedience, very spoil me.
If I were to choose a way to get to heaven, I would want to be spoiled.
The good times are always short, we are really together for not long, and even before the breakup of the breakup period, we did not even quarrel ......
The separation is only because of his ex-girlfriend.
His family is very close to my home, driving twenty minutes, the family is also similar, the wedding house has, but also my parents asked for a house without a loan, will also be so many things, a lot of hobbies and interests can take me together, to be honest, really is the object of my very suitable for marriage.
If placed in the present, I will not let him go, we may children have been able to play soy sauce.
His ex-girlfriend, in high school, chased J was rejected, she made a scene, we sometimes too much face.
Later together he was super good to her, what all go along with her, but she has been splitting up, every time she splits up and breaks up with him, and then when she and the object of the splitting up of the legs to play finished, and then come back to look for j, every time he can forgive her, so I say she is a lot of girls to learn from the object, if backward chasing a boy can still be so successful, inertia betrayal after wanting to come back to come back, then she must be gifted.
When we were together I found that she came to see my qq space, because I have seen her photos, I don't know where the significance of her coming to see my space, curious or gossip, I don't want to know at all.
The breakup is my mention, I can see that he had a heart problem in those days, I asked him what happened, he said she came back to find him, and he said that he had been pregnant with his child behind his back and secretly aborted.
I said, the girls have to learn a little, here to draw the key to take notes to write down.
I know he is torn, I think he may want to go back to be responsible for, and after all, they have been together for three years, there must be a lot of reluctance and intolerance, and I, we just hold hands, how pure love.
He can be entangled shows that I actually do not have so much importance, so I choose to let go, in love I am also very low self-esteem, will only be backward, wrapped themselves tightly, airtight.
I'm not so brave to hit the head, I'm afraid of pain.
12,
Since let him so entangled, then I make the decision for him, really stupid, did not fight for him, so that I later took so many detours, until now do not know exactly how to go down this road.
I disappeared, in fact, I know in my heart, no matter I say break up or not, I am the one to be cut off.
We are too stupid, together when I heard to junior high school reunion, but also want to go to the classmates a surprise, and then the party we did not go, may be our mutual understanding; re-encountered together when he said junior high school later, I like him but he liked someone else, he said why don't you say it? Then we have long been together.
Valentine's Day to buy chocolate he could not afford to eat, but I sent him to all share out; we are together on the day my classmates said diary Valentine's Day, so we specifically went to buy a diary every day to write a diary, a diary has not been written, he was not there, I insisted on writing a while after a period of time and then did not write it, quite hurt, and will once read each other listen to a paragraph or two, the diary is now still in the house, but I I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it again.
I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this, but I'm sure I'll be able to do it.
In the end, I'm still a coward.
Three years later, I opened the space, and saw her figure, after the separation, we did not have a contact, she came to see my space to do what, is curious or gossip, I still do not want to know.
I only know that later he got married, who is the bride, I do not want to know.
Perhaps missed is rough, no matter how much you want to make up for, the trajectory degree has changed.
Perhaps my deep-rooted concepts have been wrong, girls should be reserved and wait for the boys to confess, sometimes feel like it or can go to fight for it, do not let the regret continue, anyway, the best of the best if it is not together is not much contact.
It's okay to lose some people, it's not impossible for us to rush a little.
The two parallel lines are really destined to only look at each other and drift away.
13,
After dinner, it was raining outside, pattering, adding a touch of coolness to the hot summer.
After the coolness, it is more difficult to swelter.
My sister drove out of the underground garage, parked uphill, and clocked in to pay the bill.
Starting out, the car slipped back.
Both of them freaked out, tried again, and again the car skidded back, freaking out all the cars behind them.
The driver in the back came down and ran over to study it, it was the jeep from before, the driver ran into the car and looked at me.
"He can't drive?"
I shook my head, "No, not yet eighteen, still a month short."
The Jeep driver didn't say anything, the car restarted, put it in gear and sprinted up.
My sister and I were silent in the car as it plowed through the rain.
"When are you going to learn how to drive?"
My sister asked me suddenly.
"Next month."
I added, "I'm not buying a MG, it's too crap!"
"What kind of car do you want?"
"Jeep! How cool is that?"
"Hahahahahahahaha!"
The car stopped in front of the neighborhood, I got out of the car, the rain became less, but still with an umbrella, the newly bought clothes can not get wet.
"Sister, if we all work a little harder, a little bolder, a little more proactive, then the story will change?"
"I don't know."
"Teach me to practice driving some day! I drive you ah!"
I turned around and walked into the neighborhood, late at night, the lights were on, and the rain became extraordinarily clear under the neon lights, turning from silvery white to orange.
Behind me came the sound of my sister's laughter.
"Yeah!"
14,
The fate of this thing, who can not say, God is fair, it sits in a chair with one hand holding a highball glass shaking high-grade red wine, one hand flipping the fate of the book, to see how many good things you do in your life, how many bad things, to decide your fate.
Later later, there are a lot of things that did not have time to happen.
God is fair, can not get is always the best, regret always stay in the good moments.
We are right, the road in front of us is only one, can only continue to move forward.