If you meet an acquaintance at the dock, everyone will get on the boat together and have nothing to say at the moment. At this time, the most convenient way is to find out a few things from the current things, that is, things that you and I see, hear or feel at the same time. On the dock, on the boat, there are hundreds of things from Qian Qian. If you pay a little attention, it is not difficult to find some topics that the other party may be interested in, perhaps a huge advertisement on the dock, perhaps a foreign tourist in the same boat, perhaps a luxury yacht sailing at sea, perhaps a new type of passenger plane flying over the sky ... even on the other party, you can find the topic of conversation; If the tie he is wearing is beautiful, you can ask him where he bought it. If he is wearing a [Terry Bell] shirt, you can ask him if this shirt is good or not, and whether it doesn't match the advertisement. If he has an evening paper in his hand and sees the title inside, you can ask him what he thinks of the current situation.
If you go to a friend's house and see pictures of his children in the living room, you can talk to him about his children; If he buys a new piano, you can talk to him about it. If there is a bonsai on his windowsill, you can talk to him about bonsai; If he has a toothache, you can talk to him about dentistry and dentists and care about each other's health, which is often a cordial conversation topic.
Everything in front of us is the easiest to attract people's attention. As long as one of them happens to be of great interest to the other party, then the dialogue will have a chance to start.
Use free association
How can we find a new topic when our conversation is interrupted?
Don't be impatient at this time, and don't look for it reluctantly, otherwise you will be nervous, but you can't think of anything.
You know, as long as we are awake, our brains are always active. you
I didn't let him think, he kept thinking, from east to west, or from the sky. ...
This effect is called "free association".
For example, when we see a lamp on the desk, our thinking will start from the lamp and quickly think of many other things.
Maybe we associate [electric light] with [invention], [invention] with [film], and then [actor]-[history].
It all happened in a flash, maybe only half a minute.
If we pursue it, we can find that when we see an electric light, we will think that it was invented by Edison. Edison thought of the movie we saw, from Edison thought of science films, from movies to movie stars, and so on. In an instant, we have many topics to talk about, so choose.
Of course, sometimes the topic can't arouse the interest of the other party, but as long as we are not impatient and nervous, let our minds associate freely in silence, and after a while, we may be able to think of other topics. Are you afraid that you can't find suitable materials?
Around a center
If you want to go further and jump from one topic to another, but you want to grasp a topic and talk about it in detail, deeply and fully, then there is also a good way to help you think.
At this time, you should not let your thoughts associate freely. If there is already a theme that can arouse the interest of the other party, then you can take this theme as the center, let your thoughts revolve around this center, try to think about things related to this theme, and then classify these related things and sort out a distinct system.
For example, you just visited the Natural Art Film Festival, and you found a theme that interested the other party-plants. If you want to stay on this subject for a while, the price should focus on [plants] and try to think about things related to it.
In doing so, your mind should be kept in a relaxed and active state, so you will naturally come up with many things related to plants without much effort; take for example
Tropical plants, bonsai, chrysanthemum and other autumn plants. You can talk about plant research
And training.
If your central theme is [trees], you can think of landscape trees, flowering fruit trees, famous old trees, famous trees, idioms related to trees and the uses of various parts of trees.
If your central theme is transportation, you can think of land transportation, water transportation and air transportation, as well as vehicles, jets, rockets and spaceships.
The value of cultivating this kind of thinking is that no matter what the subject matter is, you can decompose it into endless details, and each detail can be used to expand your conversation and enrich the content of the conversation.
If you combine everything you think with your personal life experience, your conversation will be more vivid. In everyone's life, there are many events that can touch others. If some of these events are related to the topic you are talking about, take them out as conversation materials. At this time, the conversation is more interesting because of personal experience.
Change the subject flexibly
It is also important to change the topic flexibly in conversation. Even if it is a good topic, there will be times when the interest is not high. At this time, people who are good at talking will know how to change the topic at the right time so as not to annoy others.
There are three natural ways to change the topic: first, let the old topic disappear by itself. When you feel that there is no new development in this topic, you stop expressing your opinions in this regard, let everyone be silent for a while, and then start another topic. Second, you can also insert other topics at will during the conversation and interrupt the old topics. But don't let people feel too sudden, and don't interrupt when others have something to say. Third, take a step forward from the old topic and move to a new topic. For example, everyone is talking about the good movie being shown, and it's almost time to wait. You say, "This movie has a good box office, and I heard that a new movie will be released soon.". This new film will attract everyone's attention again. These words changed the subject, but everyone's
Thoughts and emotions are still coherent, so this is a more flexible and appropriate one.
The way.
Sometimes the conversation itself is over. Even the most interesting conversations sometimes have to end because of objective conditions. At this time, you should end the conversation in time, let everyone break up happily, don't wait for the other party to look at the watch over and over again, and don't ignore the hint of the other party to end the conversation. Otherwise, no matter how wonderful your conversation is, the other person will only be bored and anxious. It's best to stop talking when the fun is exhausted, so that you can get a warm welcome for the second time.
How to accumulate conversation topics
No matter how good you are at finding topics suitable for conversation in time, you need to have a considerable accumulation of topics, otherwise a smart woman can't cook without rice.
To be a modern and educated person, you should read at least one newspaper every day and two or three magazines every month. You can absorb some useful and interesting knowledge from the radio broadcast. You can also go to lectures, exhibitions, plays, movies, musicians' performances, participate in various activities of local society, and pay close attention to and care about many important events at present.
Do you often pay attention to this aspect of training? Have you spent enough time reading newspapers and books carefully? Do you remember other people's wonderful remarks? Haven't you thought about many important issues in real life?
If you enrich your knowledge warehouse day after day and month after month, you won't find yourself speechless when others are talking about something over time.
However, even if there is really nothing to say, there is no need to feel inferior. No one in the world knows everything. At this time, you might as well sit quietly, listen carefully to others, remember their words and compare their conversations. If you don't know anything, try to ask the right questions.
In this way, the second time you meet the same problem, you won't be ignorant.
A topic of small talk
There are many people who have nothing to say to each other, but they always can't find a chance to talk. Why? He is too keen on what they want to talk about, but he doesn't know to make some necessary preparations for himself before these words.
Except for some business conversations, it is often necessary to come straight to the point. Most social conversations begin with small talk.
Some people just don't like small talk. They think [Today's weather is hahaha] and [Have you had breakfast] are all boring nonsense. They don't like to talk, and they are too lazy to talk. They don't know that unnecessary words like this seem meaningless, but they really have a considerable effect. What's the role? Preparation for conversation is like jumping before playing football, stretching your hands, doing some soft gymnastics or warm-up exercises.
A general conversation always begins with [small talk]. Saying something that seems meaningless is actually to make everyone happy, get to know each other and create an atmosphere conducive to conversation.
When the conversation begins, we might as well talk about the weather; The weather is almost a common topic for Chinese and foreign people. In fact, the weather has a close influence on life. The weather is fine, so let's boast together. It's too hot, so we might as well exchange views.
What news about typhoon, rainstorm or seasonal epidemic is worth talking about, because that's what everyone cares about.
It really takes a lot of experience to start a conversation. It's not easy to get it right when you are faced with all kinds of occasions and people. If the conversation doesn't start well, it will not only fail to develop, but also make the other party unhappy and leave a bad impression on the other party.
Natural, kind and polite, and proper words are the most important. However, it can't be said that there will be good results if this is done.
Therefore, in addition to the issues you are most concerned about and interested in, you should save more information about chatting with others. These materials are often easy, interesting and easy to attract the attention of others.
In addition to the weather, there are some commonly used gossip materials, such as:
First, the jokes I played were naturally harmless. For example, when shopping, there is a misunderstanding in words; Or set a goal for things, and so on. Most people like to listen to such jokes. If others joke, of course, they can get the same effect, but they are a little disrespectful to the jokes. Telling jokes you have told and making fun of yourself will not only make people laugh, but also make people feel casual and easy to get along with.
Second, a thrilling story. In particular, thrilling stories experienced by oneself or friends can attract others' attention most. People's common sense of life is not smooth sailing. Every day, everyone eats as usual and sleeps as usual, but when a sudden disaster strikes or is chased to a far place, there may be many dangers on the road ... How to deal with these unusual situations and how to survive tactfully or fortunately in an emergency is a topic that ordinary people will never ignore. Therefore, shipwrecks, plane accidents, robbers on the way and disasters caused by wind and rain are all exciting topics that can enrich people's experience.
Third, health and medicine are also topics of interest to everyone. Talk about newly invented drugs, introduce famous doctors, medical treatment and nursing of epidemics, their own or their relatives' experience in raising diseases, how to prolong life, how to gain weight and how to lose weight,
..... This topic can not only attract people's attention, but also benefit the people. Especially when the other person or his family has health problems, he will be very grateful if you can give him valuable advice. In fact, which person and family does not have this problem?
Fourth, family problems. All the knowledge that every family needs to know, such as how to manage servants, children's upbringing, shopping experience, how to get along with husband and wife, socializing with relatives and friends, family arrangements, etc. All these are also of interest to most people, especially housewives.
Five, sports and entertainment. Talking about swimming in summer, skating in winter, and other things like football, badminton, basketball and table tennis can arouse the interest of ordinary people, such as potted plants, fishing, watching movies, listening to records, where to eat famous food, and how to arrange holiday programs, which are all topics of interest to ordinary people. special
When world-famous musicians, football teams, skating teams or circuses come to perform, or when there are special hit plays and good movies, these are even more popular gossip materials.
6. Sensational social news is also popular gossip material. If you have some special news or special opinions and opinions, it is enough to attract a group of listeners around you.
Seven, politics and religion, these two topics, if you meet people, everyone's political views are quite close, or have the same religious beliefs, then this topic becomes the most vivid, enthusiastic and fascinating topic.
Eight, jokes. Of course, everyone likes jokes. If you have conceived many kinds of jokes and have rich experience in telling jokes, you are probably the most popular person.