It lies in whether parents' language behavior has a positive and positive effect on children's mental health and promotes their growth.
Case description:
One afternoon, after school in kindergarten, the door was crowded with parents who picked up their children. Two mothers were chatting while waiting. At this time, two children in the same class ran out happily. "Mom, what do you think I drew?" I have a photo in my hand. Please look:
Mom A didn't even look at her and replied, "What a mess!" In an instant, the child lost a smile on his face.
Mother B reached out and squatted down with the child in her arms. She and the child looked at the painting intently and gestured with their hands. "Wow, this is good, this color is beautiful-",and the child jumped happily.
How's it going?
Children become a mentally healthy person with the company, support, affirmation, encouragement and care of their parents.
What kind of influence will parents' language behavior have on their children's mental health? It can be said that parents' language behavior will have a considerable impact on children's mental health. As the saying goes, "parents are a mirror of children", and the children's first teacher is their parents. Parents' words and deeds will subtly change a child.
Many times, parents will think that I have the right to order my own child to do anything. However, it is often found that their children will ignore or even refute what they say.
In fact, no one in life wants to be told what to do. Originally, a seemingly simple thing can be easily solved in a very peaceful tone, but if you say it in an imperative and mandatory tone, people will start to resist and resent from the heart and feel that they are not respected.
Many times, parents will constantly scold their children. When a child can't do well, parents will criticize him blindly, but suddenly one day, the child does what you ask, but you take it for granted. If you don't give your child affirmation and praise, it's easy for your child to have: as a mother/father, I can't see it anyway, so I'm not as good as before.
Excessive praise will make children self-expand, form a "self-centered" thought, can not accept people or things better than him, easily lead to jealousy, distorted outlook on life, and can not accept failure. If a child does something right, all you have to do is say, "Son, you did a good job." This is enough, instead of saying, "Son, you have done your best." Because the child has done what he can, he doesn't care whether it is "the best" or "very good" at all. He just needs to know that he has done it right and can get the affirmation and encouragement from his parents. With the pertinent praise and encouragement of parents, children will also make a preliminary value judgment on what they have done and gradually form their own good character.
Export foul language, don't respect other people's parents, can't cultivate a civilized and polite good child; Knowledgeable parents can't cultivate hooligans on the street; Parents who don't keep their promises can't cultivate honest and credible children ... so "teaching by example is better than teaching by example", and parents' words and deeds are subtly changing their children. What kind of person do you want your child to be? What kind of person do you need to be first?
It can be said that in the child's cognition, parents are his backers.
When a child is interested in doing something, some parents will worry that the child can't do it well or damage something, and will deny or criticize the child's behavior. In this way, the child can't help denying himself and setting limits for himself, and his enthusiasm will be hit, and he will gradually be unwilling to try new things within his power.
Parents need comfort and help when their children do something wrong, but many parents' first reaction at that time was criticism and reprimand. You may not realize that when you yell at a child, his inner world collapses and he feels weak. In this state of mind, children will set up a "protective film" for themselves, isolate all the harm and help given by the outside world, set limits for themselves, and form inferiority complex and negative mentality.
Personally, I think that parents' language behavior has a great influence on children, which will exert a subtle influence on children. I also have my own little knowledge here. I wonder if it's the same. I hope I can help you.
Parents' language and behavior have a profound influence on their children. Let's talk about these two aspects respectively.
First, language has an imprint on children.
For example, children are clumsy when they help with things, but parents will still encourage and affirm their children: "It's good to be able to do this at your age. It's really ingenious! " This child will have a greater probability in the future and develop himself in the direction of "ingenuity".
But if the parents' reaction is: "If this can't be done well, then nothing can be done well!" Children may really realize their parents' "wishes".
Parents' judgments, whether positive or negative, are accepted by children's subconscious mind to guide their own behavior.
Second, the influence of behavior on children is to let them imitate.
For example, dad likes playing basketball, and children see that dad has gained physical and mental health and made more friends. The child may also like playing basketball. For another example, parents like reading, and children seldom dislike reading.
The imitation of these positive behaviors that bring happiness to oneself is positive identification. Positive recognition, so that children do not entangle, he is also very happy to do so.
Another kind of identity will make children struggle or even deny themselves, and even adults will not accept their behavior.
For example, dad is very reluctant to hit the child, and he will blame himself every time he finishes playing, but if he is reminded, he will remember his experience of being beaten. That experience brought him pain, which he didn't want, but he unconsciously imitated such behavior.
Because he subconsciously thinks that only by being "strong" will he not suffer.
Unconsciously imitating the behavior that once made you feel pain and disgust is called "reverse identification". Reverse identity often leads to inner conflict.
According to the above analysis, we know that as parents, speaking and doing things have a great influence on children's body and mind! Especially for young children, parents are almost their whole world, and their emotions, language and behavior all affect their hearts.
Is there any way to change the bad influence of parents' language behavior on their children?
The process of change is not easy, but it is possible.
First, cultivate children's multiple recognition objects. Especially for adolescent children, if they have the opportunity to meet people at a higher level, they can bring children a new perspective of self-evaluation and development. Their personality charm directly brings energy to children and gives them a new identity scale. At any time, contact with the wider world is a way.
Secondly, parents are conscious and self-adjusting. No matter how old your child is, the change of parents is still positive for the child. The younger the child, the greater the significance, but when to change is still worthwhile and valuable.
Finally, psychological professional consultation.
Communicating with psychological counselors can bring a new experience of object relationship. To emphasize, many people ask me, "If I know and understand something, why can't I do it?" Because of lack of experience. Communicating with consultants is an experience, and only experience can make people change.
Consultant Lan Shu, thank you for reading!
This question is more general, how to answer it will inevitably have an impact! It mainly depends on how parents' language and behavior will affect their children.
For example, positive and optimistic children usually have enlightened and equal parents behind them. If you observe them, you will find that they are used to encouragement and recognition in the process of getting along with their children. Even if the children do something wrong, they will think with them instead of stopping them angrily.
For example, children don't have good study habits, which is actually the reason of parents. I mentioned this in my article. You can go and have a look.
Dragon begets dragon, phoenix begets phoenix, and mouse's son can make holes, which is not absolute, but it makes sense. In my opinion, parents are a child's first teacher and his most trusted teacher. Parents' words and deeds and attitudes have a great influence on their children.
1. If parents talk too loudly, children will develop the habit of talking loudly when they grow up in this environment. Sometimes, if they don't pay attention to the occasion, it will be detrimental to their family interaction; Parents' voices are too small, which will also develop children's inferiority and self-confidence.
If parents like reading and writing, children will follow suit. If parents like watching TV and playing mobile phones, children are also addicted to TV and mobile phones.
If parents like swearing, the child's mantra is not pleasant to hear. If children can spit lotus flowers, parents themselves should be good at communication.
So the cultivation of parents is very important. There is a saying: children are parents' mirrors. If children want to have good habits, they should start from themselves.
The influence of parents' language behavior on children is far from as great as imagined, because in fact, it is more just imitation.
More important than speech acts are the invisible emotional energy scattered outside and the invisible negative beliefs hidden inside. These two things have a decisive influence on children.
For example, you are saying a correct truth, but you are saying with anger and angry accusations, son, what have you received?
For example, you are taking good care of your child, but your subconscious belief is that "this child is not good enough, not yet." Excuse me, son, what have you received?
In addition, the relationship between parents and family atmosphere is the background of children's growth.
For example, parents often quarrel and are indifferent to each other, even if they pretend to be harmonious and loving in front of their children. Excuse me, excuse me, children, how do you feel? What did you receive?
Therefore, the growth of parents is truly responsible for their children, otherwise, no matter how good the education is, no matter how good the teacher is.
What kind of influence will parents' language behavior have on their children's health?
We often hear the phrase "children are a mirror of parents". Parents' language behavior will be most directly reflected in their children. Parents are their first teachers and the main targets for them to learn to speak. Therefore, parents need to pay attention to their own language and expression, because you are not only the child's learning object, but also the most trusted and important person before puberty. Everything parents say and do will affect their children's hearts.
In the process of classroom teaching, we found that many parents would say that my children are too sensitive and how to deal with trivial matters. My child is too thin, making trouble every day, and so on. In fact, if you think about it carefully, it has a lot to do with the child's growth environment. Imagine if parents always quarrel in front of their children, although it is not because of the children, but it is sending a message to the children: Mom and Dad are angry, why are they angry because of me? Children will fall into anxiety, panic and even self-doubt, which is directly related to their later personality development. As a teacher, I will always pay attention to my words and deeds. I will ask myself and my children the highest requirements, because we all know that higher requirements may not be possible, but they are better than lower requirements.
The above is my personal opinion, I hope it will help you.