[Mental Health] Why do some people "love the old"?

It has far-reaching sociological, anthropological and psychological significance behind it. However, the love field of the elderly has not been widely understood, and the academic research on it is almost zero. At most, it is a special case of homosexuality, but in fact, the research on it has hardly been carried out in depth. This series of articles, as my interest in my spare time, is also to explore the deep social significance behind this phenomenon. If the article is sorted out and filled in, I think it can be a good academic report on nostalgia. I hope that with the joint efforts of everyone, we can make a breakthrough in studying this phenomenon. Why do you love the elderly-1: the elderly-a symbol of a wise life. The "old" here is limited to middle-aged and elderly men, and it is a sense of closeness to middle-aged and elderly men. The phenomenon of loving the old includes expecting to meet the old people you like, hoping to communicate with the old people you like, and even having closer contact with the old people you like. There are a wide range of people who love the elderly, regardless of gender or age. As a special social phenomenon, since it exists, there are reasons and basis for its existence. Is it human instinct or acquired gradually? Besides, is there a difference between being old and being gay? Need further exploration. Some people say that all psychological problems can be attributed to physical problems. As a higher animal, at a certain age, sex hormones will stimulate a person to get close to the opposite sex, and when sex hormones and sexual secretion are reversed, they will get close to the same sex. Is it the same as the impulse to get close to the elderly? Is it similar to loving the elderly? Or do the elderly have unique charm that other groups don't have? In fact, I think one of the more recognized characteristics of the elderly is that they have experienced years of wind and frost and are mature in thinking about life. Some old people have reached the realm of wisdom, which mature and formal young people don't have and they are eager to have. . Everyone thinks about life, because there are too many puzzles in life. However, the result of thinking is that most people will go away. Some may delude themselves into following the crowd to find the fulcrum of life, while others may use pure hedonism, money worship and so on. Some people may convert to religion. Nevertheless, many people are still unwilling to give up thinking about life in this way. They need to look for sustenance and idols. Most likely, they will find the understanding of some people who they think have a deeper understanding of life as the standard of their thoughts and behaviors. As mentioned above, some middle-aged and elderly men are calm, brave and wise, which makes people want to stop. In many people's minds, it gives people a reliable feeling. Naturally, it has become an idol in many people's minds. So ... The subconscious of exploring life has been transformed into an impulse to explore these wise middle-aged and old men, fascinated by their every move and further curious about their every aspect and even their bodies. Some perfect middle-aged and elderly men have almost become symbols in many people's minds. Therefore, one of the deep-seated reasons for loving the elderly may be the result of thinking about life, although these thoughts are subconscious and usually unconscious. Why love the old-2: Love, curiosity and sexual impulse include parthenogenesis in the initial stage of species, but when the offspring inherit maternal inheritance, parthenogenesis cannot inherit more advantages. In the process of natural evolution, such species cannot be optimized, so they are gradually eliminated. All the higher animals that evolved into the holy lake are bisexual, and bisexual reproduction may inherit advantages from father and mother respectively. Therefore, sexual impulse is one of the biological manifestations of human beings, and it is also an instinct inherited by human beings along the way, and it is also one of the instincts of all bisexual animals, and its functional hormones (hormones) are stimulated. People will secrete these hormones when they reach a certain age. Hormone stimulation will make species pursue the opposite sex. Hormone secretion disorder may lead to the pursuit of the same sex. But why is love always instinctive? Love for the elderly is not only a biological instinct, because it is not directly related to the reproduction of species. Then why do some people indulge in old age and have sexual desire? This is largely due to curiosity. Because sex is the most intimate and incomprehensible feature of a person, and it is also the feature that best reflects a person's nature. Freud said, "Do you want to know someone? Then XX with him, whether he is a man or a woman. " No matter what you pretend to be, you should show your true colors during sex. Therefore, the principle of sexual impulse to love the elderly and biological instinct should be inconsistent, and some of them have no further sexual needs. Another instinct of living things is to constantly tend and repeat behaviors that bring pleasure and avoid behaviors that bring harm and pain. For example, eating delicious food once or twice will make you want to eat again next time, and playing fun games once or twice will make you want to play again. Moreover, once or twice curiosity and pleasure will form habits or dependence, and it is difficult to stop the second step when taking the first step. It's just that sex will make everyone more obscure and bound by morality and law, so it can't be discussed normally, which leads to a further mystery about it. Why Love the Old-3: Mysterious Psychological Hints? Suddenly one day, when you realize that you have a good impression on some old people, and even have a sense of attachment, you will feel lost in your mind until you see them. You think, what's wrong? Are you in love with him? But he is a man. Am I gay? So I began to check the relevant information and found that my characteristics basically matched. So, you don't think your doubts have come true. Although you will suffer and fear, you will eventually accept the illusion that reality gives you. What is written above may be a process experienced by most old lovers. At first, when I realized that I was attached to the old people, I felt attached to the perfect image in my mind, or an idol, or an image that could bring me pleasure. Actually, this is just a normal reaction. But sometimes you wonder, why do you like old people? Why not everyone but you? In fact, the reason is very simple. Not everyone can appreciate the beauty of mature years. When you realize the beauty of mature years, you appreciate it, which shows that you are more acute than others! What's more, everyone has their own unique appreciation. Some people are superficial in reality, like the excitement on the surface, and some people are more willing to appreciate the beauty of connotation with their heart! Old men have a unique beauty of life! However, the problem happened later. After you find your own unique aesthetic, you will want to know more about this circle, and you will come into contact with it, plus some website publicity. Just because you like men, you define yourself as gay. And because you are sensitive to homosexuality, you dare not tell others that you appreciate same-sex elderly people; Moreover, after you occasionally talk to people who can't appreciate this wisdom and beauty, most people can't understand your aesthetics, and the conductor thinks your idea is very strange. This kind of incomprehension will make you fall into deep loneliness. Sometimes, an old lover may see some so-called gay standards, such as being gay when having sex. This simple positioning is quite arbitrary. There are many impulses to have sex, which is incomplete statistics. 13 of college students in the United States have tried to have sex with the same sex, and some statistics are even higher. Some are just curious or impulsive. After having sex or sexual impulse, you have subconsciously identified yourself as an ordinary homosexual under the influence of the publicity materials you have learned. Some people will quote the classics intentionally or unintentionally to say that many people are gay, and these external factors will further enhance the role of psychological suggestion. Why do they fall in love with old people? -4: Asymmetric Love There are two kinds of asymmetry here, one is the asymmetry of age; The other is the asymmetry of demand. In terms of age, one party is a wise and mature middle-aged and elderly person who has experienced most of his life, rich in experience and calm in character, and has a new understanding of life; On the other hand, sunshine boy is young, full of illusions about the future, and still has a little knowledge of life. But the love caused by physiological function, whether opposite sex or same sex, will fall in love with people of similar age, and the performance of age is at least symmetrical. Usually, you may just like an ordinary middle-aged and elderly person. Some middle-aged and elderly people also like sunny, enterprising and youthful youth, and they are not homosexuals in the traditional sense. These are actually just ordinary appreciation for each other. The asymmetry of love for the elderly has a deeper level, the asymmetry of love. Old people and young people appreciate different things from each other. People who love the old may love each other's vicissitudes, their wisdom and their sense of composure; Love less, love each other's sunshine, love each other's youthful vitality. There are even some lovers, one of whom is gay, and love itself is the other's body, and the other is only assimilated under the influence of the other. Why love the old-5: People who love me and the old will expect to have ideal old people around them. However, it is rare to see old people who completely conform to their favorite image. Fortunately, there may be one or two around, but it's a pity that you can only pass by on the road occasionally. First, the standard of expectation begins to decrease. Some old people can attract your attention as long as they meet a certain trait they like. For example, his smile, his posture, his wrinkles, his white hair, his eyes and so on. Sometimes when I see a person who is not too old, I wonder if he will become his favorite image when he is old. Sometimes, the standard will be reduced to the lowest, as long as it is a man. When your standards are lowered, sometimes you will forget your original critical eyes, and you will find that many men can attract your attention, so you will think that you like men. The other is to do everything possible to find the old man you like. Usually, you will go to gay websites and gay CDs intentionally or unintentionally, especially some CDs like Hammingcourt, and you will find many favorite images in them. So, regardless of their own reserve, regardless of their previous implicature, conservatism, self-discipline, began to appreciate hungrily. However, these more or less pornographic videos and images will get you deeper and deeper and attract you to go on. Of course, many people have both. Why do you love the old-6: Men vs Women love the old, why do you love all men but not women? Old men are a symbol of wisdom, but old women are not. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are differences in the beauty displayed by elderly men and women, and there are still some differences in the social angle between men and women. From the simplest point of view, in most families, men make important decisions, and women take pains to take care of daily affairs. For another example, many famous thinkers, scientists, artists and economists are obviously more male than female. There is no denying the differences between men and women. Older women show more kindness and tenacity. On the other hand, there are actually a group of people who love and rely on elderly women, but they are not widely understood, buried deeper and deeper, and pushed back by the subconscious of self-blame. Why? Who do you think of first when you think of middle-aged and elderly women? It's a mother, an image that you can't tolerate any insults, especially when it comes to sex. Do you have this idea when you think that any middle-aged and elderly woman will inevitably think of herself as a mother? For an elderly woman, you may think that she is kind and sometimes she is wise, but your thoughts will only stay at this level of understanding. Will you be further curious? No, will it be impulsive? No, because you have a shadow in your heart. Your guilt doesn't allow you to think much. People who don't understand ethics will never let their thoughts cross this bottom line. For your father, the subconscious moral concept will not make you think so much, especially it will not rise to the level of insult. In addition, women who love middle-aged and elderly men will not be less than boys. Why do you love old people? -7: Ethical pain. People who love the old often feel helpless and guilty because they feel that they are doing something that goes against common sense and is not understood by common sense. First of all, the old lover thinks he loves men, which is against the genetic law of species. Secondly, the old lovers think that their estranged love is ethically unacceptable. Therefore, when old lovers find that their concerns are different from others, even if they are more profound than others and can see the beauty that others can't see from the old people, they are still defeated in the face of traditional ethics. But I can't control my inner desires, so I only have pain. What is more painful is that this kind of love is beyond ordinary people's understanding. In fact, there is not much need for these self-reproaches. I like it if I like it. For special reasons, I can appreciate the beauty that others can't appreciate. Social pressure, coupled with my own concerns, led me to think too much about sex, and the pain was mainly caused by sexual pressure. Why do few people take the initiative to control sexual behavior? They don't care, first of all, because they think it's not illegal, and second, you can do it in a hidden way, which is why they have this idea. Especially in sex, it is not easier to control your desires than to give up drugs. Why do you love old age? -8: The Shadow of Childhood This article analyzes the influence of past experiences on old age from a subconscious perspective. Freud compared the mind to an iceberg. The proportion of consciousness is like a small part that emerges from the water, while the proportion of subconscious is like a large part that is buried underwater. What is the subconscious? It's just that some things I experienced have had a certain impact on my thoughts, but on the surface, I can't remember or feel such things clearly. It is difficult to find the subconscious from a normal person, but it is easy to find the role of the subconscious in schizophrenics or people who are urged to face it. Therefore, some childhood experiences, such as the longing for father's love, the fear of women, the special care and sympathy of middle-aged and old men under special circumstances (such as depression and illness), and the instigation of others, may have played a decisive role in loving the elderly. Let's analyze several common situations that may lead to old people's nostalgia: some people, in childhood, may see other people's children around their fathers again and again because their fathers are not around, but they can't feel the inner hurt directly like others, and this brand will remain in their hearts until they grow up. Some people, although their father is around, may not fulfill their responsibilities well, or they may not fulfill their father's responsibilities, which will also make their children yearn for their father's love in their hearts. And some people, in childhood, will subconsciously feel disgusted with women because women (probably women of a certain age) have left a bad impression in their minds. Think about it, maybe these people are accompanied by girls in their childhood, and all the characteristics of women are exposed in front of you. You know the characteristics of women like the back of your hand, especially some bad characteristics, such as selfishness, shallowness and jealousy of some girls. What's more, being beaten by girls will produce disgust. Hemingway, an American Nobel Prize in Literature winner and writer, was raised with his sister when he was a child, and sometimes he dressed up as a girl. This aversion to his sister is the direct and initial cause of his psychological abnormality. Even those who are overindulged by women will feel disgusted. The aversion to women may also come from the incitement of others. For example, when you were a child, there were always people with you, not to mention women. For example, my father often scolds my mother for being useless, or someone always inadvertently conveys the bad consciousness of women to you. This kind of behavior will leave an indelible mark on many people's hearts. These results are deeply buried in the subconscious, so that when you grow up, when other men start to pursue girls, you won't have the impulse to love them in front of them, because the subconscious has denied them. When you have an aversion to girls in your childhood, you will yearn for people who are completely different from girls. When others get along with the opposite sex, your subconscious will touch those people with completely opposite characteristics of girls to take care of you and love you. They are most likely mature men. Others were instigated, seduced and harassed by middle-aged and old men in childhood. They may be neighbors, relatives or teachers. At the instigation of these people, your door was opened. Once you get caught up in it, sometimes it's hard to go back. Attachment: Some ways to awaken the subconscious 1: It is easiest to enter the subconscious when you are relaxed. 2. A messy dream is the best expression of the subconscious mind. 3. hypnosis 4. Most easily stimulated by images. Poor memory, need strong stimulation or repeated stimulation. Why do you love old people? -9: You will get old. When you realize that one day you will get old, you will lose your youth, you will be at a loss and disappointed. Facing the irresistible laws of nature, I feel helpless and even a little scared. The unknowability of the future often makes us look forward to the future. What will it be like in middle age and old age? In the process of growing old, we will think about the tempering of the years to come. Usually, we have an ideal image of our middle age and old age, and we are eager to develop into our ideal image in the future. We will wonder what our life will be like in middle-aged and elderly people, especially in old age, whether we will be wrinkled because we have shouldered too many hardships, and whether we will be complacent because of our success. But in any case, we know that there are only a handful of people who live to be over 100. Sometimes we can't help but feel sorry for our old age and even want to care about our old age in advance. So, empathize with others. When we see an old man who meets our ideal image, we will be attracted to him, fall in love with him, and even have the illusion that we will face any danger with him, because you think that no matter what happens with them, you will feel at ease. At this time, the love you have may actually be subconsciously loving yourself. Why love the old-10: It is undeniable that the existence of love groups makes love groups complement each other and catalyzes their growth. For the elderly, they are eager to get their care and love, get psychological satisfaction, and further get emotional communication and physical contact. For those who are in love with young people, it is not easy to investigate and make a deeper analysis because of the lack of contact at present, but the basic situation can still be divided into two types. One is like energetic young teenagers, like their strong physique and masculine temperament. For young people, they pay more attention to the skin. On the other hand, they hope to see the continuation of life from teenagers. They have the motivation to care for and care for teenagers, or they want to give full play to their enthusiasm for old age and guide their lifestyle. Or want to complete their unfinished wishes through young people; Or put care and love on children as a continuation of life. For the latter kind of old people, why not care so much about girls? I think psychological fear touches sensitive ethical itch. And contact with boys, don't have so many worries. But in any case, the group who loves less and the group who loves the old coexist, becoming a pair of interdependent and parasitic groups, which are the soil for each other's growth. This also leads to the fact that old lovers always have the opportunity to express their feelings whenever and wherever they are, and it is easy to find an attached old man, otherwise this emotion will only be buried deep in their hearts, even forever. I don't know much about the psychology of falling in love with old people. Criticism and correction are welcome. Postscript: it is not the conclusion of the conclusion. I wrote this series of articles about the phenomenon of falling in love with the elderly, the psychology of the elderly, and the reasons for falling in love with the elderly in a hurry. In the process of writing, I got the support of netizens and friends. Thank you very much, which is also the motivation to encourage me to continue writing. The article only analyzes and infers some phenomena based on what we know from a few people and some knowledge of psychology, biology and anthropology. The article tries to describe it in a more popular and emotional language, hoping to arouse thinking. The result of analysis and inference is just a statement, and there are still many shortcomings, and there are still many places that need to be improved and improved. So this conclusion may not be called a conclusion. At present, on the one hand, because of limited energy, on the other hand, because respondents are hard to find, so I will write here at present. I also hope that the follow-up work can be further carried out and form a relatively perfect theory. I hope I can finish this work with you one day. Interested people can contact me.