I was born after the three major movements of resisting US aggression and aiding Korea, agrarian revolution and suppressing counter-revolution in the early days of the People's Republic of China. What greeted me was not a family and country with bright windows and clean clothes.
Although the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea defeated the imperialist powers headed by the powerful United States and created the myth that "the United States could have invaded", the wounds suffered in the war did not heal in time, and the embarrassment after the war was still vague. People get up early and work hard, but live a poor and hungry life. This made my arrival a bit abrupt and confusing. . Suddenly, grandma crumpled a trace of sadness on the paper.
Whenever anything involves grandma, all the sadness and troubles will gather on crumpled paper, which makes my conscience feel uneasy again and again. Grandma's fate has become a bitter poison in Huang Lian, and Huang Lian's suffering is beyond Huang Lian's explanation.
Three days after grandma got married, the so-called grandpa's plane was blown up by the Kuomintang enemy plane. Grandma's happiness died with her considerate grandpa, leaving her with only a short period of depression and desolation. Grandma played the thoughts of her grandfather into a sad song of the cycle of the sun and the moon, thinking like the main theme of the sad song, and the ups and downs of the scale explained her bumpy years. Grandma, who stood still, went with the flow and sang sad songs for ten years.
Later, my mother, my grandmother, died when my father was more than two years old. Grandpa and his family got together and naturally became my grandmother in memory. Speaking of the mother who gave birth to my father, that is, my own grandmother, of course I have never met her. For her impression, I can only rely on other people's comments, and then use my imagination to approximate her behavior and behavior. But I am very cautious about the word "pro", and I have never used it in series with my grandmother, for fear of maliciously slandering her true feelings for us.
Grandma ya hasn't improved since she first came to my house. The reason is that there are many fathers and sisters and they are young. But grandpa is hardworking and clever. Every day when the sun and the moon shine, he gets up and carries a burden of 100 kilograms on foot to do some small business in a city more than 100 miles away. In the evening, I went home with my virtuous and capable grandmother Dai Yue, and the days naturally turned around. After years of hard work by Grandpa Duck and Grandma Duck, the family soon became famous in the local area. Grandpa has bought some of his own fields, and he has no worries about food and clothing. Whenever the crops fail, the kind grandfather always lends the surplus food at home to the poor around him for free. Many times, Grandpa has to worry about whether the borrower has the strength to carry it home, telling Grandma Ya to prepare the food and be sure to go on the road after eating enough.
Life is like a burning red candle. When the brilliant light disappears, it will end with tears. A nationwide political campaign to investigate and suppress counter-revolutionaries swept through Yun Qi from 1950 to19510. Grandpa was arbitrarily labeled as "profiteering" and incorporated into the feudal landlord class, and all the land exchanged for blood and sweat was confiscated and turned over to the state. However, in view of Grandpa's usual charity, fortunately, no criminal law was applied to Grandpa. Only occasionally are successful villains sent to other places to cut reeds. That is to say, when cutting reeds once, grandpa did his duty due to illness, and finally he was exhausted and fell apart. That year, my father was only 10 years old, and Wuyi was still young. Grandma's life sank to the bottom again.
Grandpa no longer competes with the world. Grandma ya's life is like the word "Tian" in "Tian", without a horizontal line in it. No matter how hard she tries, she can't afford it. At that time, the civil revolution continued. The revolution was radical, but restricted by the cultural level at that time, the purpose of the revolution was distorted in the process of communication, and the paralysis of the revolution was exposed completely.
In the early spring of the following year, Shan Ye was washed away by fine snow. Bees buzz and butterflies wander; Songbird is very busy ... grandma ya planted some pumpkins on the barren hill in front of the door to eat enough. Pumpkins will naturally take root, sprout, blossom and bear fruit. Except for a few aboveboard fireflies holding lanterns and sucking the juice of melon leaves, they grew smoothly. But when the pumpkin just took shape, someone tipped them off. It stands to reason that melons should not harm anyone's interests, because the mountain is still the original mountain, and the soil is still the original soil, just adding some pieces to people with freaks.
Then, there came several cadres-like people: a coat on his shoulder and a pen in his skirt; Hands behind your back; The bulging abdomen leans forward slightly. But obviously, it is not knowledge, but oil soup and ignorance; A pair of thieves rolled their eyes to find something.
Soon, they found that pumpkins, which were harmless to anyone's interests, were unreasonable and uprooted. And regard this overbearing behavior as a revolution-cutting the tail of capitalism. I don't know what the purpose of their so-called revolution is, but I deeply know that the meaning of revolution lies in enterprising. From primitive economy to natural economy; From hunger and thirst to food and clothing; From ignorance to wisdom; Why did you pull it out? Can be confiscated! In this way, maybe you can get a leaf and half a melon and so on. But all the questions and worries, in my opinion, are full of doubts. I admire the wisdom of firefly superman. Although the melon planting incident was pulled out, it did not end.
In the afternoon, several cadres-looking people are going to hold a "commendation meeting" for Grandma Ya's hard work. The so-called "commendation" meeting is actually a criticism meeting: put the "prisoner" on the stage and tie the rope first; Then buckle a felt hat folded with newspaper on your head, the height of which exceeds 1 m, and the felt hat rises high into the sky; Then use a brush to wave the words "culpable of punishment", "be lenient in confession and strict in resistance" on the brim. Then gather all the men and women in the village to enjoy it. If the circumstances are serious, you will be injured by sticks, or drag your tired body, beat gongs and drums, and queue up all over the village. As for why you should tie it with a rope, in case you meet King Tota, the reason is very good. As for the indomitable spirit felt hat, I can't understand it. Close your eyes and meditate, and strange ideas come to mind again. So that "prisoners" can commit cervical spondylosis? I was thinking. Even so, what about a light newspaper? It's better to change it into gold and platinum. It seems that all these things I listed are not for the purpose, but to please ignorance. As for unfair punishment, I'm afraid only ignorance can make me happy.
The above absurd scenes are not my own experiences, but originated from the tragic drama directed and performed by Grandma Ya. I asked Grandma Ya if she felt humiliated at that time, and her face was full of bitterness: "Looking at problems and talking about things, does it mean' looking beyond the mountain, the distance is different'?" Then silence. Although she didn't answer my question directly, the result I want is very clear. It is true that judging a thing should be based on different locations, different time and space, and different regions. Six In the snow, intended to wash away grievances; And the snow in the month and winter is intended to add cold. I don't know if it snowed that summer, but the snow in my heart is so heavy that it has covered the whole sky.
Don't say that time is ruthless and youth is fragile. In the 1970s, my soul came to this silver-gray world after chasing the target body. I feel the warmth of the world with the blood and young body given by my mother. At that time, Grandma Ya had grown into a big oak tree, and the skin on her neck was sunken downwards. Her straight body was bent into an arch, and her silver hair floated like a white witch. Her movements also became a little Mu Na and indecisive, just like a recording tape, which was fiddled with many times before it was naturally completed. But at that time, in my opinion, she was still beautiful and loving, enriching my vision everywhere and embellishing my silver-gray life with gorgeous colors.
Childhood memories, like a sleeping transparent ice, will melt into water when heated, and the water will not stop flowing. And my memories of grandma ya, like this flowing ice, are real and lingering, and converge into a stream. The story of my grandma and I flows in the stream. I remember when I was very young, my grandmother often carried me behind my back. In order to please me, she deliberately took three steps forward and two steps back, just like rewinding the recording. Naive me, from then on, I thought it was an inevitable step for me to get old, and I didn't know how ridiculous my idea was until I was sensible.
The combination of good fortune and bad luck does not conform to the laws of things. So, I have almost no instinct to change anything. In my life, although my grandmother's dragon back wall sheltered me from the wind and rain, the financial difficulties at home and the endless quarrels between my parents all day made my childhood footsteps walk, run and fly. Flying over the ocean of childhood, leaving carefree footprints on the horizon, what has settled down is a solid and heavy burden for life.
I still clearly remember the first time Grandma Ya took me as a guest: because I was still young at that time, I couldn't even tell the difference between weddings and funerals, except that my employer was crowded with people and guests. I held my grandma like a belt, greeted the guests with her, and then took a seat in the master's garden. Everyone chatted while tasting milk tea made of popcorn, sugar and peanut cheese. A big brother dressed in grass-green military uniform and full of military atmosphere walked up to grandma and gave her a serious and formal military salute: "Hello, aunt!" " "Grandma quickly stood up from her chair, ecstatic." Oh, Conger is back! As he spoke, he stepped forward, took grandma's hand, and burst into tears, like a reunited relative: "This is the lotus! They have grown so big. " Grandma: "hmm! Call you brother! " "Hello, brother!" I greeted him in a formal way. See him and grandma exchanged pleasantries for a long time, took out a dollar from his pocket and forced it on grandma. It is said that when I was a child, my grandmother loved him dearly, took good care of him, and often missed her when I was away. Today, I left in a hurry and forgot to prepare a gift ... I listened to it, like eating Chinese bayberry, which was sour.
After dinner with the guests, I set off for home. It's not far, but the two of them walked carefully. Grandma carried me behind her back, taking a few steps and taking a step back, like a recording tape; Then he took me around, stop-and-go, stop-and-go. Such a reciprocating action is bound to be tiring, so the three grandchildren simply sit cross-legged under a "hug Yang".
On this day in August, the summer heat has not disappeared, and "holding Yang" is still a popular green umbrella to shelter pedestrians from the wind and rain. Under the umbrella, I can see grandma is very happy. She took out the money of gratitude and taught me how to recognize it. After a few strokes of grandma's description, the appearance of money can almost be copied in the memory book of the brain. After recognizing the money, grandma put it in the deep trouser pocket as a treasure, pressed it on the trouser pocket again and again, and pinched it again before she was relieved. I also learned from my grandmother's appearance and patted her trouser pocket twice, which was an insurance lock for the gratitude in your brother's trouser pocket. But they were all amused by each other's vulgar behavior just now, so they had to smile at each other.
Sometimes, money is not equal to gratitude, but the money reprinted with gratitude is definitely worth cherishing; And the treasure is not just as simple as adding a security lock, it should be stored in the depths of the soul, and it should be felt and accepted with heart. ...
At home, as an exception, Grandma Ya didn't give money to her cash-strapped parents. Her behavior is a bit rare, and it is impossible to put this list back a year or two ago. Now, she is a little confused and begins to forget, and it is extreme. Things can be invisible in her eyes, that is, nothing is ethereal; You can also look straight and be sincere. So many times, she will lead her grandson to find her grandson and take shoes to find shoes. Sometimes she is so confused that she doesn't even know my mother. She was as calm as a shrewd accountant when she was young. So there was a trace of sadness crumpled in the paper by grandma.
Not long after I got home, my neighbor wanted to teach me how to make an origami plane, so I went to ask my grandma for paper. She rummaged through the closet and handed me a crumpled paper ball. Looking at the crumpled paper makes my scalp tingle. I know grandma carefully kneaded it into a ball and saved it for the toilet. Naturally there was some blame, so I left like a quarrel. As I walked, I opened the crumpled paper ball stuck in my heart and suddenly got stuck by something unconvinced. Rubbing your eyes-rubbing your eyes again, unconvinced-still unconvinced. Logic, truth, logic, truth, fickle coat and beautiful soul confuse my eyes, but the reality is really sad and terrible. As soon as Grandma Ya treasured it, she was exposed by mature youth. I peeled off the paper ball outside and gave it back to her.
The next morning, I went to ask Grandma Ya for paper, and she handed me a crumpled paper ball. This time, I thought it was purely logical. I went to find a friend without looking at the paper ball. When I opened the paper ball, my casual eyes felt something slipping off the paper. Took a boring glance, "unconvinced" things once again knocked Luo Ji down, just like grandma ya's mental health.