Interpersonal shortcomings
The following content is 100 ESFP career planning series, 8-dimensional functional Fe dark side analysis open class, 0 1 1.
Habitually use the willful and sensitive second-in-command (Fi) to make value judgments and screen scripts (generally referring to all topics, contents or roles) that conform to self-value propositions, likes and interests. Esfp does this because it helps him to deeply express the roles and contents he performs and imitates, thus ensuring his emotional tension and appeal in the spotlight, and also helps him to deeply immerse himself in the play and present exquisite acting skills like natural performances, thus meeting the fundamental needs of the first talented person (se)-happiness first, natural love of acting, and desire to be the focus.
Namely:
Relying on Fi's mode of thinking-through the perceptual * * * voice, the way you like, you can help esfp get the greatest possible happiness and the attention of others; It is not through the shortcomings of other ways of thinking that esfp is not good at, such as interpersonal coordination (Fe), logical analysis (Ti) and interest planning, management and execution (Te).
Why interpersonal coordination ability is the shortcoming of esfp?
It is precisely because they rely too much on the Fi mask-easy to be sensitive, willful and emotional, pay too much attention to their own feelings and ignore the concerns of others' feelings and needs, and focus on coordinating their relationship with themselves and ignoring their relationship with others.
In this way, Fe is constantly ignored and suppressed in the subconscious, which becomes the dark side of self that esfp is hard to realize. Therefore, it is easy to leave others with stereotypes such as "I don't know or am not good at thinking about others, I am easy to be self-centered and it is difficult to integrate into the secular workplace environment".
02
The importance of interpersonal relationships
The reason to explain is that the complete emotional consciousness structure of esfp consists of two parts: Fi and Fe, which are the internal and external uses of emotional consciousness function (F). The complete emotional judgment ability of esfp depends on the development degree of the two parts, or the degree to which FI and Fe can cooperate with each other.
This problem is mainly understood from two aspects.
Although esfp is extroverted, expressive and often participates in various activities, ESFP habitually makes value judgments, which leads to few people who are willing to make friends and regard them as friends. They often just maintain superficial relationships and are unwilling to really communicate with them. Therefore, the more dependent on Fi esfp, it may have entered the society for many years, but it is still too naive and simple, never really integrated into the workplace environment, and refused to establish close cooperation and contact with others, which led to the failure to give full play to Fe's interpersonal shortcomings.
Especially esfp, which has been engaged in institutional work since graduation, is more obvious. Of course, this is understandable. At the beginning of esfp's entry into society, Fi failed to fully develop, and it was difficult to define its own direction.
In this regard, esfp needs to realize that only when the interpersonal shortcomings of Fe are fully developed can it have the opportunity and ability to fully cooperate with Fi: in the process of fully socializing and dealing with different people, it is clear that it has a more complete internal value proposition, and it has found a life mission that can really stimulate inner enthusiasm, and is willing to forget about eating and sleeping for it.
On the other hand, with the development of Fe, esfp can maintain its subconscious mind and have the ability to combine the needs of others-express what it wants to say in a way that others like and agree with, and interpret any role it plays in life or on the screen. This can not only make others pay full attention to and understand themselves, but also get as much applause as possible, so as to fulfill the bounden duty of a natural performer and meet the fundamental needs of being naturally fond of and eager to perform.
03
Interpersonal barriers
The dark side of Fe, that is, the development of socialization, is not only directly related to whether esfp can establish a more complete internal emotional concept, but also related to the level of esfp's clever interpretation of its role from the standpoint of the audience by paying attention to the needs of others.
At this point, it is not difficult to understand the intuitive connotation of "complete emotional judgment ability".
On the one hand, it also includes the full development of Fi-the ability of ESFP to define its own needs, core interests and ideal direction, and the development of Fe-the ability of ESFP to pay attention to other people's positions, ideas and preferences, including realizing the importance of doing so;
On the other hand, the development of Fe can not only help esfp define itself, but also help esfp gain more support and recognition.
It can be seen that Fe defends the "willfulness, self-pleasure, self-centeredness" thinking mode of Fi on which esfp instinctively depends by "caring for others, pleasing others and catering to others"-supplementing and compensating it, so as to protect esfp from being completely integrated into society, seeking for itself, and from being divorced from society and realizing its own ideals.
Generally speaking, the less fully developed personality, that is, the more dependent on the esfp of Fi, the easier it is to ignore and refuse to use the Fe self opposite to Fi, and to suppress and criticize it instinctively, and it is difficult to realize the dark side of their own Fe. Including not only difficult to realize the importance of interpersonal coordination ability, but also difficult to realize that it is their own shortcomings.
In this regard, the most obvious performance in esfp is usually that "they just want to coordinate interpersonal relationships that conform to their own self-worth proposition".
For example:
Only by making friends you recognize and people with the same interests and hobbies can esfp really be willing and active in the interpersonal atmosphere when you are with them—that is, when it conforms to the proposition of self-worth, the dark side of Fe can be actively defended, and then esfp is willing to use Fe to pay attention to the needs of others and take care of the social atmosphere;
On the contrary, if the core value proposition of Fi, which believes in sincere quality and pursues pure friendship, is threatened, it will easily stimulate the negative defense of the dark side of Fe. Usually, esfp instinctively tends to criticize and criticize hypocritical, smooth and sophisticated social concepts and behaviors at this time.
Moreover, the younger esfp is, the easier it is to do so. He firmly believes that this trait (core mask) does not need to be changed.