The book "Self-consistency" is exactly what the famous jurist Shi learned from collecting personal multi-dimensional growth experience. It is how we know ourselves, accept ourselves and make our body and mind self-consistent in the process of choice, relationship, occupation, exercise and continuous learning.
In the multi-dimensional self-consistency of body and mind, three things impressed me the most.
To know yourself, you must first know your objective self. That is, our genetic and physical conditions, our family and the small environment for growing up, the big environment of our region and times, and so on. In view of the conditions at birth, all these constitute a part of our destiny.
What is the physical quality, whether it is tall or short, and what nationality or race it belongs to. Other basic environments are also given, such as parents, family background, childhood growth environment, and whether educational resources are easy to obtain. This is a small environment, and some given conditions are the general environment of the times and society, whether the place is peaceful, whether the society is stable, whether the mobility of social strata is sufficient, whether the natural environment is bad and so on.
Reminiscent of the COVID-19 epidemic, we are in China, and every citizen can personally feel how important the environmental impact on individuals is. Being in China, even if there is an epidemic, we can still walk freely on the earth, do what we want and accomplish our unfinished goals. But in some countries, not to mention walking freely and smoothly on the earth, even the minimum life safety can not be guaranteed, let alone "doing what you want to do"
Therefore, to recognize yourself, we must first recognize ourselves objectively, recognize our own small environment, and recognize the big environment of society and the times, so as to grow better.
Know yourself, and more importantly, know yourself subjectively. Subjective self is your hobby, personality, temper and way of thinking. The subjective self is the true self, which is sometimes difficult to grasp and even sometimes biased.
For example, the teachers in the school are all teaching and research talents who like to improve day by day and enjoy the happiness brought by their majors, but you are determined to take a leadership position with a halo nature in people's eyes because of your excellent teaching achievements. Isn't this the rhythm of "self-deception" This is a strong public relations ability, which can not only coordinate the relationship between the upper and lower levels, but also be both hard and soft, and do one thing after another, but you have to kill the sun and the moon in teaching day after day. Isn't this a waste of good years?
In such a rapidly changing and unbalanced society, it is particularly important to know yourself. Everyone's specialties, conditions and backgrounds vary widely, and no one else can be their own starting point, only themselves are their own starting point.
Know yourself and accept yourself. Yuan Longping doesn't have to learn from Yao Ming to be a slam dunk master; And Yao Ming doesn't have to know himself, but accept himself. Yuan Longping doesn't have to learn from Yao Ming to be a slam dunk master; And Yao Ming doesn't have to be a research-oriented talent like Yuan Longping. We should not only accept our own shortcomings, but also treat our talent as a mask rationally.
People are expensive and have "self-knowledge."
Students don't have to focus on grades for the sake of their parents' expectations, so that they lose themselves; People who struggle in the workplace don't have to sympathize with their colleagues and leaders for survival, just for promotion; Entrepreneurs don't have to pay attention to money for the recognition of the so-called society and relatives, but ignore their own health, family and interests.
Everyone has a steelyard in his heart, so we should weigh the highlights of our steelyard and find the balance point of our steelyard.
Intimacy is the driving force of our struggle in this world, and it is also the strength of our hearts. But no matter how good the relationship is, don't lose yourself and don't compromise.
Like love. To love someone is to restrain yourself and please each other, but this restraint should be within the scope of voluntariness and comfort. People's emotions are like springs. If you are always bent, the rebound is also very strong, and it is easy to hurt yourself and others. Too much injustice to oneself is also connivance to the other side. In the long run, the boundary between two people will always be pressed from the indulgent side to the wronged side, and this relationship will eventually break down. In a relationship, as long as there is the connivance of the wronged, there must be the excesses of the indulgent, just like two sides of a coin, which exist at the same time.
For example, one of my best friends loved a classmate in our neighboring class, Dapang, when she was a student. At first, being fat was especially good for girlfriends. When you raise your hand and look at your words, you can feel his heart that always wants to warm your lover. But after work, I live in two places, and my work is busy. They are all school teachers, and then there may be other reasons I don't know. In a word, my best friend suffered setbacks. When I need fat most, fat can't come to me, just a word or two of comfort on the phone; On holidays, his leisure gifts have been bought, but it may take about a year to receive them; What makes girlfriends care most and disappoints them most is the message sent on QQ, and the fat reply is always one by one. In this way, depression and grievances are much more painful. Gradually, girlfriends begin to let go, and an intimate relationship fades a little, so that it "ends in vain."
Intimacy is a kind of interpersonal relationship. Although two people can be very close, they can't destroy the basic standards of interpersonal relationship, such as respect, privacy, autonomy and gratitude. Once the basic scale of interpersonal relationship is destroyed, the "ethics" in the world of two people will be chaotic, and this relationship will lack basic order and right and wrong standards, and the uncomfortable days will begin.
In fact, this applies not only to love relationships, but also to friendship and affection. I met a golfer, and I especially like playing table tennis. No matter how busy you are at work, you always find time to play ball. However, although this man is gay, he has a problem. He likes to inquire about people's length and is meticulous. Once, when playing ball with me, I was not paying attention. I talked about all kinds of gossip first, and then asked which building our leader lived in. Patiently holding back his anger, he reluctantly answered him with a straight face, but he still didn't know "life and death" and even asked, "Why do you want to live in the unit?" In a word, I am in distress situation. I am not a worm in the belly of a leader. How should I know? Besides, does this have anything to do with you? After that, I stayed away from him.
In a relationship, whether it is love, friendship or other intimate relationships, we should follow the minimum of respect, privacy, autonomy and gratitude. Otherwise, even the best feelings will break down.
Wealth is the foundation of our existence. Without wealth, we can't do it, but we should also treat wealth rationally and should not become a machine kidnapped by wealth.
The economic situation is only one of many things in life, and being relatively well-off economically does not mean solving life problems. Problems such as personal feelings, social identity and the value of life cannot be solved by spending enough money.
Thoreau, the author of Walden, graduated from Harvard University. He said that he only needs to work for six weeks a year to earn all the calories he needs for a year. What has he been doing these six weeks? Sometimes planting crops, sometimes cutting down trees, sometimes building houses, and sometimes fishing are all manual labor. Six weeks of physical labor is enough for him to have all the calories he needs for a year. The rest of the time, he said, "I am completely free, reading books, seeing friends, watching nature and walking in the forest every day." He feels that his life is much richer and more satisfying than others.
After solving the basic food and clothing and having a certain sense of economic security, people should focus on more meaningful pursuits.
The book "Self-consistency" not only talks about the above three aspects, but also talks about how people are self-consistent in choice, career growth, body and mind, and learning.
In short, in this complex society and in this ever-changing era, if you want to find your own self-consistent "anchor needle", this book will bring you a lot of inspiration.