Accurately speaking, it is "losing face". At the same time, it has its own principles and bottom line and correct values.
In college, loneliness is the norm. Don't be wronged because you are afraid of being labeled as "unsociable". When you get up early to study, someone will always scold you, "Yo, study again!" " "The wisest thing to do is to ignore him and stay away from garbage people.
At work, when it's time to show your face, don't hesitate to stand up; When it's time to ask for help, don't care about it, you can't erase your face; After being rejected, you can cheer up and find the next partner.
In feelings, say it bravely when it is time to express it. You are afraid that you will lose face after being rejected, and then she will become someone else's. Excuse me, which is more important, face or girlfriend?
When you say you are shameless, you can answer her, "Can I get you if I want to be shameless?"
Many opportunities can only be won if you take the initiative. If you don't take the initiative, no one will take the initiative to care about you. So please be positive. Many times, "face" is really not that valuable!
Many people either underestimate their abilities or overestimate their abilities.
The first sentence when consulting my little friend is "I want to be xx, but I'm afraid I can't."
There is another kind of person around me who beeps all day. "If I am xx, I can be xx."
These are two typical people with "self-cognitive defects".
The first kind of people, before doing everything, set a standard for themselves: "I can't!" " "
The second kind of people always give themselves various reasons for not working hard, being content with the status quo, overestimating their own abilities and belittling the achievements of others' labor.
Either way, it is not conducive to our communication and growth.
So how to improve self-awareness ability?
In fact, we can fully understand ourselves from four aspects: self-understanding, others' evaluation, social feedback and self-reflection, and understand our own shortcomings and advantages, so as to better develop strengths and avoid weaknesses and avoid detours.
This is really super important! But many people lack self-control!
I couldn't control my diet, and as a result, my weight soared.
You can't control your emotions, and as a result, you hurt the people who love you.
I can't control the time of playing mobile phone, which delays my study and work.
……
In this impetuous society, people are busy with work and study every day, but few people can calm down and study hard to improve themselves in their spare time. Bernard Shaw once said, "Self-control is the instinct of the strongest."
Self-disciplined people are terrible and worthy of respect. They have a strong sense of time, know how to improve themselves and are more likely to succeed.
If you want to improve your self-control, you can control your life by going to bed early and getting up early, changing your sleep habits, and then controlling your diet and emotions.
Recommendation book "Self-control"
In life, we often encounter this embarrassing situation: praise others, but the other party thinks we are telling lies. In a word, the other party may think that we are accusing him. Finally, the more you explain, the more chaotic, embarrassing situation and rigid relationship. ...
Modesty has become hypocrisy, concern has become ingratiation, self-confidence has become narcissism ... in fact, it's all because we can't express, but we can't give up expressing because we can't express!
If you want to express your views correctly, first of all, you should dare to express and speak.
At the same time, constantly learn knowledge and exercise expression ability. Usually, we should learn more expressions of various questions, including the flexible use of tone.
Recommend "Speak Well" and "EQ Course"
After listening to a lot of truth, I still can't live well.
Why?
Because we lack execution.
"What can't I do? Shout the slogan first. "
As soon as most people drink chicken soup, they reach the summit, making one plan and goal after another, but giving up on the first day.
The strength of individual execution depends on two elements-ability and attitude. Ability is the foundation, attitude is the key.
Therefore, it is necessary to improve personal execution. On the one hand, we should improve our ability by strengthening study and practice, and more importantly, we should have a correct attitude.
In addition to "strict and quick innovation"-rigorous and earnest, down-to-earth, speed up the pace, pioneering and innovative. Another important point is feedback and reward!
See your progress, reward yourself appropriately, and let yourself have the motivation to continue ~
People with low concentration have an obvious feature-impetuousness!
Whether studying or working, they are always absent-minded, doing what they are doing, but thinking about another thing in their hearts: snacks in the living room, the plot of TV dramas, and trivial things at home. ...
Finally, because I didn't finish the task within the specified time, I became irritable and anxious.
People with high concentration are efficient and often get twice the result with half the effort. Whether studying or working, they can walk faster than others.
Meditation, deep breathing, planning in advance and a quiet and comfortable environment are all conducive to improving your concentration.
There are many such people around:
Being confessed, I was embarrassed to refuse, so I fell in love with someone I didn't like;
Refuse to understand on the wine table, and finally get drunk;
I was embarrassed to refuse my colleague's request at work, and finally I didn't finish the task at hand and worked overtime until the early hours of the morning. ...
People who don't know how to refuse are "good people" in the eyes of others. Others take advantage of you, not only don't thank you, but also take it for granted.
The best way to refuse it is to do it, not not not to do it. Don't be vague!
You don't have to worry that rejecting others will make others hate themselves, because we are not RMB, how can everyone like us?
We need to have the courage to be hated. If you blindly establish good interpersonal relationships, sometimes you have your own opinions but can't convey them because you want to meet other people's expectations or don't want to hurt others, and finally you have to give up what you really want to do.
Such people may be very popular with people around them, and few people hate them; On the other hand, they can't live their own lives.
Recommendation book "the courage to be hated"
"People who have the ability to please themselves will not pin their emotions on those of others, but will be responsible for their emotions and emotions."
We always want to please others, but never ourselves. Be generous to others and mean to yourself.
Don't pin "love" on others, loving yourself is the beginning of a romantic life.
Reward yourself to watch a movie, eat a big meal and buy a favorite dress at the weekend … as long as you are happy!
He who sees through does not tell the truth, knows people without judging them, knows reason without arguing, smiles warmly and feels at ease.
This is the greatest achievement in life.
Human nature is terrible, you can't see through it, you can't say it clearly, even if you see through people's hearts, don't comment easily. You think you are shouldering the heavy responsibility of reminding others, but you are actually giving others a self-defeating sword.
If you don't know others, talk less and talk the most, fall in price. Don't argue if you don't understand the truth. Arguments are the most useless.
People often say,
Hey, I don't think you're doing the right thing ...,
"You have an obvious shortcoming ...",
"You are really annoying ..."
Do you think you kindly remind others?
Most people say "well, thank you" in a perfunctory way and give you a dirty look in their hearts. Impatient people quarrel with you directly!
Of course, there will be people who really thank you, but this is very few!
There are 7.5 billion people in the world, and there are 7.5 billion normals.
Everyone is used to living in his own comfortable field, and can't tolerate others' random pointing and infringement.
Therefore, seeking common ground while reserving differences is our indispensable ability. It is good for people to get along with each other, but forget it if they don't.
You will find that those "sweet-mouthed" people around you generally get along well!
They will not hesitate to appreciate and praise others and affirm their abilities and achievements. Casual words or actions will produce great benefits in the future!
Praising each other on the surface actually enhances their goodwill towards you, and you are likely to link to each other's more resources and contacts later.
For example, when I saw this answer, I ordered a "like", which was my greatest encouragement and affirmation. I am more motivated and will bring you more dry goods in the future ~