Keywords: family background; Family education; summary
Family of origin is a sociological concept, which refers to the family in which an individual was born and grew up.
In recent years, academic circles have paid more and more attention to family background. After the TV series "Everything is OK" was broadcast, the injury of being born in a family once again entered the public eye. The shaping of a person's personality, the formation of personality self, the standard of value choice and the way of thinking when facing major choices are inextricably linked with family background. Family of origin is the initial place for individuals to contact with society, which makes individuals change from "human" in biological sense to "human" in social sense. The influence of family background on individuals can not be ignored, among which the influence on personal views on marriage and love and mental health is the focus of academic research in recent years.
First, the pain of being born into a family
Being born in a family should be one of the sources of personal security and a personal haven. However, in the modern family, due to various reasons, the family background brings people no longer harmony and warmth, but also violence and trauma.
Li Yiying's definition of family of origin's injury is: "Any parents' words and deeds to their children are not out of nourishment or love, or their parents' actions make their children feel ashamed of their own nature, which can be called' family of origin's injury'." This definition is not accurate.
First of all, the injury of family origin should include all kinds of injuries suffered by individuals in the whole family, not only "not out of nourishment or love", but also the degree of "shame". Secondly, when parents choose a way that is difficult to be accepted by their children out of love, the final trauma to the individual should also be counted. Finally, family of origin's injury is not only a matter of methodology. Parents' values have a bad influence on children, or parents' values collide with children's values, and self-doubt caused by individuals is also the pain of being born in a family.
Lee Huan scholars believe that family of origin's influence on individuals lies in (1) parental rearing patterns; (2) Parent-child relationship; (3) marriage relationship; (4) The educational level of parents. Under this definite definition, if something goes wrong in one aspect, it can be attributed to the pain of being born in a family.
Second, the influence of family of origin on the mental health of the next generation.
Domestic scholars have done a lot of research on this issue.
Ma Jun, a scholar, believes that being born in a family leaves a brand that is hard to erase. Parents' education for their children is all-round. If you come from a family and give your children beautiful things, it is easy for them to yearn for beauty; If being born in a family gives a child evil, then the child is on the verge of evil.
Li Huan believes that the sound development of primary and secondary school students' personality, the formation of self-concept and self-esteem level can not be separated from parents' scientific training methods and reasonable educational ideas. Good parent-child relationship and marriage relationship are more conducive to children's physical and mental development, which is very important to improve the mental health level of primary and secondary school students. The educational level of parents affects the way of educating children and is also an important factor affecting their mental health.
Scholars Zhao Haorui and Tong Huijie mentioned that Hoover and insel analyzed the family characteristics of patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder, and found that parents' perfectionism of family and marriage and personal susceptibility were the main reasons leading to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Galvin revealed the close relationship between mother's depression and individual's depression and mania in adulthood through comparative study. Dinero and others used heteronomy to evaluate the individual's family of origin, and found that family of origin's warm and sensitive communication style was closely related to the individual's sense of attachment and security in adulthood. Muraru et al.' s research found that family of origin influenced the level of marriage adaptation by influencing the attachment types of individuals, and it was not the real family of origin characteristics that affected individual life and intimate relationship, but the psychological feelings towards family of origin that affected individual life. Whiston and others believe that family process variables have a greater impact on personal career development than family structure variables and family background variables.
Yang Wenjuan mentioned that in fact, apart from congenital genetic factors, differences in children's personalities are largely caused by differences in family upbringing. Virginia Satya, one of the important founders of family therapy, said that the family is the epitome of the world, so we can understand the world by studying the family. Changing the family means changing the world.
Third, the embodiment of family origin in contemporary literary works.
Many contemporary literary and artistic works have begun to pay attention to the issue of family origin. For example, Wu Qishi, a Chinese American woman writer, focuses on an ordinary family composed of whites and China people in her work Silent Confessions. Both generations have strong family ties.
Zhang He and Pan Xiqian mentioned that in his mystery novel The Nightwalker, He was also deeply influenced by his family background, which led to a lifetime tragedy. Keigo Higashino's novels show the tragedy caused by the hero's family relationship and family environment. A very intense and painful childhood experience will inadvertently affect how a child treats others, how to handle things, and the value of this child. If Liangsi's father didn't invade Xuesui, if Xuesui's mother didn't force her to engage in prostitution, and if Liangsi and Xuesui both lived in a healthy family, then maybe the killing of Liangsi's father and Xuesui's mother wouldn't have happened, so Liangsi and Xuesui should also have the simplicity and innocence of their age like other children.
Liu Lulu analyzed Tess of the D 'Urbervilles from the perspective of family background, and mentioned that Tess's character in the family background was full of oppression and neglect, which made her completely ignore her feelings when dealing with emotional problems, but was subject to family factors. Without correct and positive education and guidance, it is difficult for simple rural girls to control their own destiny. Therefore, the influence of family of origin on Tess is the root of Tess's tragic fate.
In Ode to Joy, the life experience of the hero Fan is vividly portrayed. Getting along with his mother has a great influence on Fan's concept of marriage and love. Fan Mei Sheng's mode of getting along with his mother once caused a heated discussion on the Internet.
China's typical family image created by the hit drama Everything is Fine on 20 19 made it a hot topic on 20 19. Su Mingyu, as an oppressed individual who has been under the pressure of being born in a family, has completely different characteristics from his eldest brother and second brother, and truly shows the pain of children who are born in a family. The theme of "escaping from the family of birth" makes the play present the problem of family birth naked to the public. The shaping of a person from a family is related to all aspects. Su Mingyu, who got rid of her family background and lived a rainy life, was dragged into the whirlpool again after a funeral and ushered in pain and suffering. This contrast can be seen from the depth of family background to personal influence.
Fourth, get out of the pain of being born in a family.
After we severely criticized the pain of Native House, what we should think about is how to solve this problem.
Many scholars put forward that the influence of family background is not decisive, and personal success is more related to personal achievements.
How to get out of the pain of Native House, Xie Mengyuan proposed that he should learn to support himself, bid farewell to the past and answer questions from a more open angle. Wu Lin also proposed to accept family of origin with an optimistic and inclusive attitude. Yang Jianlan, a national second-level psychological counselor, pointed out that it is not only the family that is at the helm.
To get out of the pain of being born in a family, we must first admit the influence of being born in a family on ourselves. It is not a personal fault to be born in a family, it is not a problem of parents' education methods, or the impact of unintentional collision of values, it is the influence of parents' personal character and education level, including the parent-child relationship caused by parents' marriage problems, and it is not a personal fault. First of all, we must admit that being born in a family has brought us harm, and we are willing to analyze the reasons for these influences and the consequences that will be brought to us in the future. Willing to face it is the first step out of the pain of being born in a family.
Secondly, the influence of family background cannot determine a person's life. Just as the reasons for individuals to make decisions are not single, they are often influenced by many factors and are considered in multiple dimensions. Although the arrival of family of origin has a great influence on him, the cultivation of his own personality does not depend entirely on family of origin. Individuals' own education level and social environment will also have an impact on individuals, and when this impact is contrary to the impact of family background, individuals can make choices that are more in line with their own interests. The duration of social influence is longer than that of family background, and the degree of personal influence will change with time. At this moment, individual life is in our own hands.
Third, learn to shake hands with the past. Growth is always accompanied by some bitterness and pain, and you can't become stronger without experiencing these. The past cannot be repeated, and the future belongs to a brand-new self. Unload your luggage and go into battle lightly. The family you come from may be full of pain, but life is not always like this.
For every generation of parents, whether they have experienced the pain of being born in a family or not, they should be aware of the influence of being born in a family on the next generation. Being born in a family is a part of personal cultivation. If this link goes wrong, it will affect the lifelong brand.
Family background has a great influence, but it is not decisive. If we rashly attribute everything to family influence, perhaps individuals will no longer have the energy for self-growth. Of course, when children grow up, parents will make mistakes, but this is not irreversible. Love is the best nutrition. For the individual himself, he has indeed experienced darkness and pain, but the world is long and he should be a beam of light.
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