Describe the composition in detail 1 teaching objectives:
Knowledge and skills: By appreciating some wonderful fragments of detail description in examples, we can learn and imitate detail description and apply it to writing to feel the benefits of detail description.
Process and Method: Appreciate the interesting details and describe some detailed actions.
Emotional attitude and values: cultivate observation ability, guide students to be good at observing and discovering details in life, and form a positive attitude towards life.
Key point: learn detailed description and realize its function.
Difficulty: describe it with details and apply it to writing.
Class arrangement:
Two class hours
Teaching process:
I. Introduction
Detail description is the flower in the article. To make flowers beautiful, you have to describe the details. We should capture the details of life with keen eyes. If we feel life with our eyes and love, the flowers we live will be more brilliant. Such as the following text: the crescent moon on the horizon exudes a faint glow, quietly sprinkled on the balcony. In the dim moonlight, the colorful flowers and green leaves all seem dim during the day. At this time, a few newly blooming epiphyllum are pure and clean, emitting a wisp of fragrance and refreshing. Ah! There is another bud in bud. Will it bloom? I studied for a long time, and suddenly, the bud moved. Finally, a small hole opened unconsciously at the tip of the bud. Then, the hole opens slowly, and then the petals gradually spread out one by one. The petals are carved like crystals, and even the veins can be seen clearly; The flower heart is white and tender, and the lace shows a layer of goose yellow. The author described the flowers in detail. The whole process of texture, smell, color, grain and bud opening makes people feel as if they were in the scene, and the writing is delicate and vivid. Technically speaking, detail description is the first step of narrative writing, and it is also an important method to beautify narrative language.
Second, how to describe the details.
(a) Choose the best point to describe the details
1, a comprehensive and detailed description, the first step is to select a point.
The point of choosing a point should be the point that has an effect on the center. Only when the point is in place will it not stray from the topic. For example, with maternal love as the topic, you can choose the action point that your mother adds a coat to yourself, the state point that your mother looks at yourself, and the language point that tells you how to express yourself. In fact, this selection point is related to material selection in a sense, but no matter which point we choose, it should be the theme of maternal love. Of course, if you can't choose the right point, you can't describe it, and of course you are faced with the possibility of digression and digression. Because the skin does not exist, how can the hair be attached?
The point that can best express the theme is exactly what we need to highlight and make great efforts to render when writing. So, what kind of points are best described in detail?
Lao She said: The most difficult thing to describe characters is to make them stand up. We all know how to use the characteristics of occupation, class and nation to help form a unique personality; But these things don't necessarily make the characters active. We must always show him with actions. When he shows it clearly and forcefully in every movement, he becomes more and more lively and realistic. Only in this way can the appeal of the characters be profound and extensive.
Lao She's words mean that only by successfully describing the movements of characters can readers truly feel that the author's works are vivid characters, his spiritual world can be fully displayed and his image can really stand up. It shows that wonderful action description plays an important role in the display of characters.
Action description is one of the important methods to depict characters. Every action of a character is restricted by his own thoughts and personality. A successful description of a character's characteristic movements can explain his identity and status, reflect his psychological activity process, show his personality characteristics and sometimes promote the development of the plot.
Therefore, we believe that in the narrative, we should choose the action points that can best express the theme, focusing on the action details, supplemented by the portrait details, language details, psychological details and environmental details.
Choosing the most important action point in the process of things happening to describe, supplemented by other description methods and other angles, can concentrate the power of language in one place and show the basic skills of words to the greatest extent. If the situation before, during and after the action is recorded, the article will have no focus, only the content of each step of the character can be known; Moreover, it is easy to form a running account, which is lengthy, equally divided, boring and boring. This is the most common problem when students describe things. There must be wonderful highlights in the process of action. Grasping this bright spot and describing it in detail can not only highlight the key part of the matter, but also show the character characteristics, inner activities, attitude towards life and ideological quality of the characters, leaving a strong and profound impression on readers.
2. Select some examples and comments.
first part
We had a geography class that day, and a classmate talked back to the teacher. I don't know how this matter reached the head teacher's ear, but I saw her strolling into the classroom, scanning everyone and asking: Who did it? Stand Up! Can be lenient. There are only four kinds of sounds in the classroom: the teacher's footsteps, our breathing, the heartbeat and the ticking of clocks. Get up! Don't waste everyone's time! As it is class time, everyone is very impetuous. That's right. The students answered. He stood up, flushed. The teacher praised his honesty first, and then took him to the office calmly.
Comments: This clip selects a common point in the school classroom, which is not big but very real and concrete. There are the movements and language of the class teacher, the movements and reactions of the classmates, and his movements and performances. It can be seen that when choosing a point for a comprehensive description, you don't have to choose those earth-shattering big points, as long as they meet the theme, you can achieve the effect of seeing the big from the small. And wrote a true story, true feelings and feelings. And isn't such a point everywhere in our lives? Everything is clear.
the second part
Come on! Come on! The students tried their best to cheer for Xiao Yong on the horizontal bar. He will do the first 12 pull-ups, which is a record that no one in our class has broken so far. I saw his body swinging back and forth, as if he were accumulating strength. Just as he leaned forward again, he suddenly shouted hi! Immediately, the whole body was stretched tightly, his arms were pulled up hard, his body was shaking, and he moved up slowly. He closed his eyes and sweat ran down his red cheeks. The muscles on the arm are gradually bulging like an inflated balloon, and the veins on the forearm are also bulging like blue earthworms. The horizontal bar also seems to want to pull Xiao Yong up. Xiao Yong insisted, insisted, in the shouts of his classmates, his head slowly approached the horizontal bar and passed it! It worked! The students cheered!
Comments: The author did not describe how Xiao Yong prepared, climbed the horizontal bar, did pull-ups, completed the last movement, and got off the bar. Instead, I chose the most difficult shot of pull-ups, and the action choice was very good. He seems to have witnessed Xiao Yong's tenacity and hard work. After careful observation, the author found that Xiao Yong's movements were swinging, pulling, moving and stretching in turn, which were closer than the horizontal bar. I heard him crying. Hi! ; Observe his expression, his eyes are closed, his face is red and he is sweating; I noticed that his whole body was tight, his body was trembling, he moved up slowly, his muscles gradually bulged, and the veins stood out on his forearm. Through these detailed descriptions, the author vividly presents Xiao Yong's last pull-up to the readers. At the same time, the author also noticed the status of the horizontal bar and the students around him, so as to set off Xiao Yong's efforts.
3. Problems that should be paid attention to when selecting points
(1) Select a point for the center. Choose a point for a comprehensive description, not for description, but to express a certain emotion with a clear center as the guide. This center is the theme and theme of the article, and it is the reason that the author wants to express and explain by writing people or notes and painting scenes or things. Different centers should choose different points for detailed description. When choosing points, the first principle is to choose those points that are effective for the center, that is, the points that best represent the center.
For example, a student once wrote a successful exercise, tug of war. The center of tug-of-war performance is to stick to the end and win. He is very clever. He did not describe the tug-of-war process from beginning to end, but chose the most difficult point in the tug-of-war process and made a detailed description. He described the students' bent legs, tight muscles, stubborn eyes and hard-working posture, which truly reproduced the spirit of persistence and unyielding. Perseverance is victory. Later, when I wrote another article, I copied his high penny. However, my score is very low. Why? Because the article center has changed. The event recorded in the latter exercise is still a tug-of-war, but the center of the article is to write that the generous and kind smile of the class teacher gave him great encouragement and warmth. In this way, it is obviously not centered, or at least inappropriate, or deviated from the center of the article to invest a lot of space in the tug-of-war In other words, the center of the article should show the power of the teacher's smile, and the place to describe it in detail should be the teacher's smile. The details should be described around this generous and kind smile, and the charm of this smile can be rendered in a variety of ways to show the center of the article to the fullest.
Therefore, before a comprehensive and detailed description, we should first choose the points that work on the center according to the center, and we should not describe it simply for the sake of description, otherwise it is suspected of digressing.
(2) Choose real and specific points. After choosing a good point, you are actually choosing writing materials. Reflect the whole event by describing a point in an all-round way. If you can't reach a specific point, it is a superficial narrative. Through the embodiment of points, readers can get a glimpse of the overall effect. So the choice must be specific. In addition to being specific, the choice of points should also be true. The so-called truth refers to artistic truth, which is not necessarily true, but must conform to real life and logic. Excessive exaggeration or illogical points are against the basic requirements of writing, expressing the true feelings and achieving the true meaning.
To sum up, we find that choosing a real, concrete and vivid work point as the center is the basis of comprehensive fine painting. Without this, fine painting has no basis for attachment. If you choose the point that best reflects the center of the article and describe it in detail, you can actually start writing around the center, and the local description of the expression center is actually very detailed; Other places don't expand or draw. In this way, the details of the article are solved.
At the same time, choosing the point of detail description solves the problem of material selection, because the point of detail description is the material of the article itself. If we can make a comprehensive description of any point, big or small, small or small, it means that every bit of life can actually be written into our article. In this way, when choosing materials, students with insufficient material accumulation do not need to be stretched. Just expand the point into a concrete and vivid comprehensive description.
The details of the article and the choice of materials are precisely the places that many middle school students can't control well. Therefore, it is very important to learn to choose the point that plays a role in the center of the article.
Then, after choosing a point, how to expand it in detail to make it vivid, vivid, infectious and expressive? This is related to the perspective of comprehensive description.
Grandma bent down, put the washbasin under the faucet, unscrewed the faucet, and the water poured down. Half a basin of water, grandma put dirty clothes into the basin, rubbed her hands and the clothes were all wet. At this time, grandma sat down with a small stool, leaned down, picked up a white shirt in her left hand, leveled the collar with both hands, held the collar in her left hand, and picked up a piece of yellow soap in her right hand, rubbing it back and forth from left to right. Grandma put down the soap, grabbed the left corner of the collar with one hand, grabbed the right corner of the collar with the other hand, and rubbed one hand up and down. Stop for a while, stare at it with your eyes wide open, and then rub it. Shake it in the water and take a closer look. It's clean and the cuffs are washed.
Describe in detail the objectives of Component 3:
Knowledge and skills
1, understand the concept and classification of detail description.
2. Learn to arrange detailed descriptions in writing to make the composition real and vivid.
(2) Process and method
1, arouse students' reading experience and try to figure out the role of detail description in the works.
2. Perceive details and encourage students to communicate and evaluate details.
(3) Emotion, attitude and values
Let students form the habit of observation, pay attention to life, pay attention to the beauty of details in life, and thus love life.
Teaching emphasis: Try to understand the function of detail description.
Teaching difficulties: learn to arrange appropriate details in the composition.
Teaching methods: evaluation, guidance and communication.
Teaching process:
First, introduce the topic.
Play the song "The most romantic thing" before class and introduce it. Slide: Pay attention to life, pay attention to details and believe in yourself. As the saying goes, "details determine success or failure" and "details see the spirit", which shows the importance of details. In our writing, if we can arrange the details properly, we can add luster to our composition. Today, in this class, we will learn about detail description.
Please read the following paragraphs and say what you like. Why do you like it? (big screen display)
Q: A detailed description?
Detail description Detail description refers to the delicate and concrete description of some subtle and typical plots, such as artistic trivial matters, characters, portraits, psychology, movements and environment.
Detailed description of classification (see courseware)
Second, try to figure out the beauty of detail description
1, the world men's 1 10 meter hurdle race is about to begin. Nervous athletes crouched at the starting line, like an arrow pulling a bow. With a gunshot, Liu Xiang, the left arrow, flew forward, only to see him waving powerful arms and lifting his legs over the railing, as light as a swallow and graceful.
2. The door of a school classroom in the north. At noon, some students sleep in the classroom, and some students do their homework in the classroom. In order to prevent the dusty wind from blowing into the classroom, they had to block the door. But some students want to enter the classroom and keep knocking at the door. The students in the disturbed classroom feel that they can't sleep well and write their homework well. Once or twice, I went to class because there was a storm in the door. Later, I simply stopped blocking the door and let the wind blow the dust all over the house. The problem of Tianmen was solved the next day, because someone nailed a piece of black rubber on the door frame, which increased the friction between the door and the door frame. There is no need to plug in the door again, and the door will not be easily blown open by the wind. The author wrote in detail: "A square inch piece of black rubber is firmly stuck to the door frame, filling the gap between the door and the door frame ... Many students turned their eyes to this black, ordinary rubber with three small nails when opening the door.
In this way, the role of vinyl is more prominent, and the appeal of the article is also increased, so that readers can thank the people who do this good thing with the students in the article.
3. When sleeping in summer, she put her feet over and put her hands in the middle of the bed in a "big" shape, which crowded me out of room to turn over and slept on a mat in the corner, baking very hot and motionless; I didn't smell it when I called her.
-Lu Xun's A Chang and Shan Hai Jing
4. When sleeping in summer, she put her feet over and put her hands in the middle of the bed in a "big" shape, which crowded me out of room to turn over and slept on a mat in the corner, baking very hot and motionless; Call her? I don't smell it.
Thinking: What is the author's detailed intention to arrange sleeping in summer?
The author's aversion to the words "Chang" and "crowded" shows that this passage is in the same strain as the last article "She is yellow, fat and short", which is in line with the writing method of the text.
Teacher's explanation: the ugly person, the author bought back the long-awaited classic of mountains and seas from her initial "hatred" and "disgust", and finally produced heartfelt respect and omission of details, which made the characters vivid and unforgettable.
Third, quiz: give yourself an example of a detailed description of the characters and read it to everyone.
1. Describe in detail a series of actions of a teacher from outside the classroom to formal class.
According to your usual observation (or experience), change the following passage into a specific description, about 100 words.
I tried to read ancient poems several times in the Chinese exam yesterday, but I didn't succeed because the teacher looked at them very closely. I finally got up my courage, but the teacher found me. I feel very embarrassed.
Let me sum up:
1, how to make the details concrete and vivid?
Careful observation and perception
Carefully weigh the words
Clever use of rhetoric
2. What should I pay attention to when describing the details?
Conform to life
Novel and representative
Serve the center selectively.
It can be seen that making good use of description can make the finishing point, deepen the vivid theme and image of the article, and make the article leave a deep impression on readers.
Fourth, writing exercises.
Requirements:
1, complete the questions, such as mother, cat at home, river in hometown, etc.
2. Choose the style that you can control best and write what you are most familiar with. Notes should be complete and specific, with real feelings.
3. The article should at least have a detailed description of a character, and draw it with a red pen and a curve.
4. No less than 600 words.
He has big eyes full of energy, and a big mouth stands out on his face. He is tall and strong, and a pair of big feet can fly like an arrow. We are the staff of the basketball club. During the game, he made me understand: what is a true friend?
It was a clear Thursday in Wan Li. We got together to play basketball, and when we got to the basketball court, we saw several people standing in the wide field and strolling leisurely. At this time, the teacher came, counted the total and said, now let's play a big game. You, you and you hit them!
In the last game, we became enemies and I defended him. But seeing his heroic shadow shaking on the court, everyone finally scored two goals, but they have already scored seven or eight. I am unreasonable. When I saw who had the ball, I rushed up madly and tried to get it back at all costs.
But the other side clearly saw my role and gave the ball to his hand as much as possible. After all, he is the great god of their team, and they naturally score goals by his energy. I chased him to grab the ball, and he dodged left and right. I didn't get the ball, but I scored another one. I'm a little angry. I'm just a good friend. It's really not interesting enough. I have no respect at all!
So, I tried my best to chase him and grab his ball. But he will never give in, and he will blink and hide. I was in a hurry and rushed to him. But I can't think of it. I just wanted to control my body, but he sent the ball to me. I couldn't stand still and was knocked down by him. I am anxious to see him ready to throw an empty basket in advance.
Unexpectedly, he immediately left his basketball game and came back to help me. He couldn't help saying: I'm sorry! I knocked you down. Are you hurt?
Looking at his worried look, I felt a warm current in my heart. Why is he not interesting enough? Isn't this a real friend?
He is my best friend Shen Hanyang.
Mom, I have been in primary school for six years, and every progress I have made has been smeared with white hair, which is inseparable from your hard work. Looking at the wrinkles in the corner of my eyes and the gray hair in my black hair, my eyes can't help but get wet again. In the rain, I seem to see your wet dress and anxious eyes again.
I remember one afternoon in the fifth grade. It's sunny and sunny. Who knows, what happened next was unexpected. The silence of the tree a moment ago, from swaying to violent shaking, is only a few seconds. It rained heavily in an instant. I didn't take precautions. After school, I put my folder on my head and ran home. Your accelerated pace and familiar figure appear in front of you. In the cold wind, you look haggard and Cang Sang, and my messy hair hurts my heart. I cried and threw myself into your arms, but you touched me lovingly with rough big hands, and your eyes were very gentle. On the way home, we were accompanied by the wind and friends of Yuhua, dragging long shadows, but most of your body was wet. I pushed the handle of the umbrella to your side, but you pushed it mercilessly. At that time, my mother was an umbrella, holding up an unpolluted sky for me.
Another time, in a KFC fast food restaurant, I ate fried chicken wings with relish, but you looked at me with a smile. I looked up at your eyes and said, "Mom, aren't you hungry?" Your answer is surprisingly simple. I thought you were really not hungry, but later I learned that you only ate some bread and a bowl of porridge in the morning. At this time, you are no longer so simple.
Motherly love is sometimes admonished. You always feel uneasy before going to school. "Be careful when crossing the street." This is my daily life, and it is with these warm words that I realize the priceless maternal love.
Yes, maternal love is selfless, but only in details. A famous person once said, "Losing a loving mother is like putting a flower in a bottle. Although the color is fragrant, it has lost its roots. " Mom, if I leave your training and care, can I grow up healthily, happily and vigorously?