2. After the child falls, parents should do three steps and three questions.
This morning, Ma Zhou took Zhou Zhou for a walk in the park.
As a result, when I arrived at the nearby kindergarten, I saw a little sister Yue Yue, who was four months older than Zhou Zhou, crying for a hug from her mother.
I think Yue Yue's mother is tired after playing with her children all morning. She doesn't want to hold Yue Yue.
However, Yue Yue still chased her mother assiduously and rushed at her.
Yue Yue's mother kept backing away.
See Yue Yue is going to hug her mother.
As a result ... Yue Yue's mother backed away, and Yue Yue accidentally threw herself on the ground.
Yue Yue burst into tears, stretched out his hands and looked at his mother, trying to get her to pull herself up.
But the horse still stood in the distance and did not make a move.
Yue Yue's mother saw the child sitting on the ground for a long time and couldn't get up. She said loudly to Yue Yue, "Stand up by yourself."
Yue Yue, unmoved, still kept her posture just now, waiting for her mother to help her.
Yue Yue's mother stood still, quietly waiting, hoping that Yue Yue could stand up from the ground by herself.
The mother and daughter are so deadlocked.
Seeing this, I can't help thinking deeply.
We often say that words speak louder than words.
Educating children is not just talking about reason verbally, but what they say and do in life.
Think of children falling as a very common event. Different parents' reactions may inadvertently affect children's personality and their attitude towards life in the future.
It can be said that after a child fell as a child, all his experiences and performances determine his reaction and attitude towards life when he encounters big waves as an adult.
So we really need to think about it. What did you do when the child fell? What should we do?
What parents are most worried about is that their children bump into them, especially women who have just added their babies and just become mothers.
Therefore, as soon as many parents saw their children being knocked down, the string in their hearts immediately tightened, and they quickly lifted their babies up in three steps. Even afterwards, they didn't even know what their posture and position were when they fell.
And kept asking, where did you fall? Does it hurt? Show me quickly. How was the fall? Do you want to see a doctor? Will something go wrong? Confess and blame yourself.
Don't ask, ask what I thought before. When I was six months old, I slipped out of the stroller for the first time before my eyes.
It was winter and he was wearing a lot of clothes. When he slipped down, his face was on the ground and his nose was a little broken.
When I saw him fall, the whole person was not so good for an instant. I immediately ran over and picked up Zhou Zhou, holding her in my hands to coax her. Actually, I was in a panic.
I can't hold my child in my arms for a long time. I'm worried that the child will collapse. I don't know if there are any internal injuries. I left my job, immediately packed my things with my children and took a taxi to the children's hospital. When I got to the hospital, I kept urging the doctor.
However, have you found that, especially when the baby is young, if we keep asking questions so nervously, the child will cry immediately, and those who don't cry will cry.
Many times, if a child falls down and finds that his parents have not noticed him and no one is paying attention, the child will pat his pants and stand up as if nothing had happened.
Why is this?
In fact, it is not that children are too smart and too good at acting in front of their parents, but that their brains develop.
Scientific research shows that when children are about 8 or 9 months old, they will observe the expressions, emotions and behaviors of people around them and respond accordingly.
In the matter of falling, the child was still a little embarrassed at first and had no other reaction.
However, if you see mom and dad hugging and coaxing him nervously, he will naturally mobilize his instinctive reaction: crying.
Therefore, parents need not be overly nervous. The baby is small, has short legs, has a low center of gravity, walks slowly, and falls are generally not serious.
If we are too nervous, children will feel that wrestling is a terrible thing, and may even have some fears about the difficulty of walking and crawling in the future, which is not conducive to the development of big sports.
Some people are too nervous, and some people are determined not to help, just like the horse at the beginning of this article.
This kind of parents, in the face of the baby's fall, resolutely refused to help, even if the child cried and took the initiative to ask for help, they still ignored it and only "resolutely" let the child stand up!
In fact, the parents' starting point is also good. Their original intention is to exercise the baby from these little things and make the child more independent and stronger.
But these are just wishful thinking of us adults.
If you stand in the children's point of view, they can feel differently.
When a child falls down, he is crying or asking his parents for help, which is really painful.
At this time, children need the comfort and help of their parents, but their parents stand far away with empty instructions: be strong and stand up by yourself.
In this case, children generally have these two reactions.
L Either, the child can't feel the attention and attention of his parents, and falls into a deep sense of insecurity, so he cries even more;
In the end, parents have to compromise, which is not worth the loss, which not only hurts children but also fails to meet parents' expectations.
L Either, the children find that their parents really ignore them and can only adjust their emotions and try to stand up by themselves.
But at this time, even if the parents win and the children stand up by themselves, what the children learn is not independence and strength, but disappointment and indifference.
When children's emotions and needs are not paid attention to and satisfied for a long time, children may indeed become independent, but they will also feel more insecure and lose trust in their parents.
This will not only affect parent-child relationship, but also hinder the development of children's empathy. In the long run, children may not have much enthusiasm for the world, and eventually they will develop a withdrawn and indifferent character.
There is another situation, which is more common in families in Separate child care.
When a child falls, some old people will say, ouch! Where is my baby hurt? The baby doesn't cry, come on, let's hit him, hit the ground and hit the table, who let him hurt our baby! It's all his fault
This may really calm the child's mood faster.
But in the long run, it is easy for children to learn this thinking habit of shirking responsibility. What setbacks and difficulties they encounter in the future, they will think that it is someone else's problem, an external problem and a social problem, so that they can't see their own responsibilities.
In this way, it is difficult to learn from it and make progress.
This is undoubtedly harmful to the growth of children.
It is estimated that many parents want to vomit when they see this: this is not good, and that is not good. What should I do if the child falls?
In fact, the way to deal with it is simple: keep calm and don't let your emotions affect your children. Then deal with it according to the specific situation.
So, what should we do?
If you want to help your child when he falls, you should first look at how the child fell and how he fell.
If it is judged that the fall may be serious, such as falling on the concrete floor, or touching heavy objects or other sharp objects such as table corners and corners, or even the child crying, then it is necessary to appease the child in time, help the child up and check the child's situation.
If the fall is not serious, such as walking at home and falling on the flat ground, even the home is carpeted; Or fall on the park lawn; This situation is generally not very serious, so don't worry too much.
At this point, we only need to pay attention to the emotional state of the child.
If the child cries, it may really hurt, or it needs our attention and comfort. Then it is necessary to appease the children in time and give them a sense of security.
If the child falls, but the mood has not changed, we don't have to rush up, keep our attention and observe the child's next move. As long as the children don't fall badly, most of them will immediately stand up and continue to play happily.
At this time, we should ask our children three questions and ask them how they feel.
Ask the child if he needs his mother to help you up. If he says he needs it, then we will pick him up; If he says he doesn't need it, let him praise her himself. We just need to let the children know that someone is helping them and give them enough care.
Ask the child if it hurts? Where does it hurt? Guide children to express their feelings and let them feel the care of their parents.
What is the reason for helping children wrestle together? Teach children how to avoid similar problems in the future.
Then when he grows up and encounters big waves, he will get used to facing and thinking in this way of thinking, so that the child will make progress.
A week's message from my mother:
In short, we can't overreact or ignore things like baby falling. The best attitude is to let the children know that if you need it, mom and dad are always there, and mom and dad care about your feelings.
Raising an excellent child is the wish of parents all over the world; Having an excellent child is the blessing of parents all over the world.
In the process of educating children, parents will be confused one way or another.
What should I do if there are so many problems in educating children?
How can we educate an excellent child?
The answer is: positive discipline.
Positive discipline is not blindly conniving and doting on children, nor is it a matter of controlling children.
Recommend a book that you have been reading recently, and teach it positively. I suggest you have a look. There are many ways to educate children in the book!
Read more books, and discipline children will not be so hard!
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