First of all, the problem of parent-child relationship.
Only when the parent-child relationship is harmonious, you say that children are willing to listen and change.
Busy real life makes our parents exhausted. Because we neglect to discipline our children at work and leave them at their parents' home, the children's life becomes their parents' business. They go back when they have time, and don't go back when they don't have time. Children lack the emotional companionship and psychological care that parents should have; Giving the children's study to the teacher in Class Two thinks that they have done their duty. Even some young people regard having children as their parents' business, and the children are given to their parents as soon as they are born, which leads to their feelings. Indeed, there is a saying that it is better to have her in September than to raise him in January.
Secondly, the material foundation is too satisfied and the spirit is too lacking.
The material foundation of over-satisfaction not only cultivates children's comparison psychology, but also makes them lose their life goals. You have repeatedly told your children that only by studying hard can you have a good job and a good life. The child said: My life is very good now. I have everything I want, and I don't lack anything. I don't need to study hard to achieve it.
Lack of spiritual life, busy parents, lack of companionship and growth support for children, children play games, surf the Internet and seek spiritual comfort in the virtual world.
With the opening of the second child policy, more and more children's needs are beyond their parents' satisfaction. With the second child, they can't take care of the boss and vent their anxiety about the second child on the boss.
Children come into contact with society too early, and their psychological coping wit is immature. Due to their lack of relative safety awareness, they are easily influenced by the environment and online media and confront their parents!
I think there are two reasons:
First, the problem of family education. Family conditions are better now. Parents are willing to invest in their children with anything good. At the same time, they are easy to spoil bad children. This will not allow them to touch those who are not allowed to go, leading to the natural growth and development of children. There is no opportunity to receive frustration education, psychological endurance has not been exercised, and I don't know how to deal with small setbacks, so my psychological debugging ability is particularly poor.
Once such a child encounters a big setback, a strong psychological conflict in a short time will break through the child's psychological defense line and lead to psychological problems.
This is the result of being spoiled.
In the past, children were in a state of stocking. As long as there is no big problem, let it develop freely, and of course it will be beaten a lot.
Such children can fully release their nature in the process of growing up, and they will also be severely educated by their parents and schools when they make mistakes. They will not only experience success, but also face setbacks, and their psychological quality will become stronger, so they are not prone to psychological problems.
Second, children before paying attention to problems may actually have many psychological problems, but at that time, China paid little attention to psychological problems, or did not pay attention to them, so he thought that children before had fewer psychological problems. Now China is paying more and more attention to mental health problems, and parents are more likely to find possible psychological problems in their children, which naturally shows a trend of increasing psychological problems year by year.
Third, what should I do if I have psychological problems? Parents and friends find that their children have psychological problems, so don't be too flustered. They should take their children to professional mental health institutions for psychological evaluation in time to check whether there are psychological problems and what psychological problems exist, so as to prescribe the right medicine and take measures for psychological consultation/psychotherapy.
It is normal that people will have psychological problems more or less all their lives, just as no one can live without getting sick.
As long as we can find out in time and seek the help of a regular professional psychological counselor/therapist, psychological problems can be solved.
The simplest and most important way to deal with psychological problems is to nip in the bud.
Parents should pay close attention to their children's spiritual needs in daily life, communicate with their children frequently, understand their thoughts, give them correct guidance on values, let them trust their parents and feel safe in their families, help them develop good personal habits, exercise their social skills, and educate their children in time when they make mistakes, instead of making excuses for them. This can greatly reduce the probability of children having psychological problems.
The stage of compulsory education, that is, the stage of adolescence and adolescence, is the stage of children's growth. The psychological, personality and other qualities formed in the growth stage are greatly influenced by the environment. It can be said that family environment, school environment and social environment shape and even determine the development trend of children's personality, affecting children's psychology, personality and moral quality.
1, family environment As we all know, the recently hit online drama "Hidden Corner" was adapted from the novel "Bad Boy", the main content of which was the dark side of the protagonist's child, which eventually led to a terrible road to murder. Many netizens have analyzed that the main reason why this little hero has such a dark side is that he comes from a family and lives a poor life with his mother in a single-parent family. However, my father reunited the family, and watched my father dote on others and his half-sister. Life was so lucky. For him, the heart is lost, and he even feels unfair. He thinks that his sister has taken away his father's love. So he was jealous and even hated, and his mind was constantly stimulated and distorted. However, at the beginning, he was actually eager to get more care from his father and respect from his father's family.
Parents are children's first teachers, and family environment is the first factor that affects children's healthy growth. Therefore, if children do not have a healthy family environment, it will inevitably have a certain impact on their psychology. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to care for their children in time, pay more attention to their behaviors, communicate in time and give appropriate guidance if there are abnormal phenomena, so as to avoid making their children loveless and causing psychological problems.
Of course, this is just a factor that is not conducive to children's mental health in the original sound family. There are many other factors, such as the family environment where parents often quarrel, the family environment where parents often go out to work or leave their children at home or give them to grandparents, and so on. In an imperfect family environment, if parents don't pay attention to their children's growth in time, they will often form psychological problems to some extent. If you don't get timely guidance, it will accumulate into a bigger psychological problem.
2. School environment In terms of school environment, you can also refer to the novel Bad Boy. The novel tells the story that the little hero is disliked by his classmates at school because of his short stature and introverted personality. He is often bullied by his classmates and can't make friends. Therefore, he only studies hard at school, and all his focus is on learning, never considering interpersonal communication with his classmates. The description of the background can reflect that the little hero's psychology is prone to problems, and it is very important to play well with whom in the children's world. If classmates don't get along well and have no sense of cooperation, children will gradually have psychological problems. If this situation develops to school bullying, it is already a big psychological problem.
Although the school is a place that pays more attention to knowledge education, the all-round development of comprehensive quality is the ultimate goal of the school. Therefore, teachers need to pay constant attention to students' growth, give proper teacher love, form a good and rich class atmosphere, and guide students to help each other, instead of just taking grades as the first reference for outstanding students and ignoring other factors.
3. Social Environment The story of Meng Mu's Three Movements is widely circulated, so why did Meng Mu move three times? Only in this way can we have a good social environment conducive to Mencius' study and growth. The first time, when Mencius' family was near the cemetery, Mencius learned to worship and played a funeral game. Meng Mu felt that this was not conducive to Mencius' growth, so he moved. The second time, Meng Mu moved to the market, but Mencius learned to buy, sell and slaughter animals, so he moved again. When he moved to Gong Xue for the third time, Mencius learned manners. From the story of Meng Mu's "Three Movements", we can realize the important role of social environment in children's growth, which affects all aspects of children's growth and development, including mental health.
In addition, children are easy to imitate. If everything they see when they grow up is negative, the TV cartoons they watch are violent and unhealthy, which will seriously affect children's mental health, and over time, it will encourage children's psychological distortion.
These are my three ideas, which I hope will be useful to you.
At present, the number of children with psychological problems in compulsory education is increasing year by year. What's the problem? There are indeed more and more children with psychological problems now, but it has little to do with compulsory education and much to do with family education.
Only children are expensive, and many children are brought up from generation to generation. Without a bottom line, children agree to everything, refuse to do anything, and do everything, which leads to children's lack of responsibility, gratitude, practical ability, inability to endure hardships, poor will and inability to empathize. With the rapid development of society, parents worry that their children will fall behind and sign up for many classes. They always want their children to be excellent. Compared with children with good grades, there is nothing wrong with them. If they get 99 points in the exam, they will ask them how they lost that point. After a long time, their children are sensitive, suspicious, insecure and afraid of failure. After the formation of this personality, the ability to resist blows and adapt to the environment is weak, which lays the foundation for the formation of mental illness.
At present, many children suffer from anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression, and some children have learning disabilities and cannot study and go to school normally. All these require efficient and scientific solutions, but many methods are inefficient and can't solve the problem fundamentally, which makes many children suffer for a long time or even drop out of school completely.
On the other hand, the more children with strong inner heart, strong sense of responsibility, strong gratitude, good will, strong learning ability and strong anti-attack ability, the more stable the family and the more stable the society.
I am a psychological teacher at school, and now school is a difficult experience for every family. Nowadays, the number of students with psychological problems is increasing year by year, and psychological problems are often more serious. Many students often find that the problem has reached the point of neurosis. At the same time, primary school teachers report that there are more and more students with ADHD and autism. A friend of mine, a primary school teacher, has four ADHD students in a class, and the class is in chaos.
Different types of schools have students with different problems. I am a student with psychological problems in rural schools, rarely because of academic problems. These students have resigned their grades, and there will be basically no psychological conflict.
The most important issue is interpersonal relationship.
The first is the interpersonal relationship of classmates, which is often related to "isolation", which is more common among girls.
Secondly, it is related to family. There are too many phenomena that poor family relations lead to psychological problems of a large number of students. In recent years, I have found that students' families with serious psychological problems, including neurosis, are often problem families.
Common ones are: ① A family whose marriage is disintegrating, during which there are a lot of quarrels and fights, and the family atmosphere is extremely unfriendly. (2) After the marriage is dissolved, the children have nowhere to go, and at the same time they have to bear the pain of separation. (3) families ruled by parents with psychological problems. Language attack, a lot of denial of other people's language. Torture each other, control each other and escape.
I won't say much about the details, but I can only say that it is very shocking.
The relationship between students' problems and family problems, and family problems are directly related to society. Nowadays, there are many marital problems, and more students report that school is naturally a psychological problem.
Parents of two children, from the perspective of an experienced person, the top students with the most psychological problems in high school now, the more they study, the higher the proportion. There are many reasons. Children are very demanding of themselves and have no other social activities except study. Some of them even have no friends except studying. How can they be okay in the short term? On the other hand, they are parents. This is the main factor. It seems that they pay too much attention to their grades, except for getting into 985. Learning is very important, but these parents and children put the cart before the horse. The purpose of learning is to live a better life and suffer from mental health all my life. So what is learning for? Social education is very important now, but emotional intelligence is more important. My boss is 985. When he was in high school, he said that his classmates' EQ was horribly low and their psychology was completely normal. After entering the university, he found that children in third-and fourth-tier cities had more problems. But many children don't talk, or parents find themselves comforting themselves. My child is fine. It's too late to cry if something really happens. There are still many parents who think that children who have no problems actually have problems, but you just don't know it. The lack of high emotional intelligence is the root of the problem, mainly the problem of family education.
I think this is caused by the influence of the big environment.
1. Now many families are only children, with at most two children. Every child is the apple of his parents' eye and can't be spoiled. This makes children more and more selfish, do not know how to share, do not know how difficult it is for parents, and will only blindly ask for it. If their parents are not satisfied, they begin to quarrel with their parents. Everything is caused by doting.
There are too many bad habits in society now, and the network is developing well. All kinds of short videos, good and bad, can be seen by children with mobile phones, so these bad things are hard to prevent.
Nowadays, many students are good at keeping up with the joneses. After school, they are better than whose mobile phone, whose family has money and whose car is better. And now students can't be scolded by teachers at school because they are not allowed at home. I think my darling has been wronged and I need to talk to the teacher. Students are more ambitious than others.
Therefore, if you want to raise your children well now, you really have to worry a lot. Unlike before, you don't have to worry about leaving your children at school for a day and going crazy outside for a day, because the social environment at that time was very clean.
I have seen many people analyze various reasons, and the answer may be simple: today's children need more frustration education. Our parents should let their children know that the individual is not the center of society and everyone is born unique, but not everyone needs to care about you. Children should also understand that there are some things that we don't need to pay special attention to other people's opinions, especially malicious opinions.
Score-oriented, from the double squeeze of school and family.
Parents pay more attention to learning than students' psychological endurance.