- 1-
When I was very young, Xiaolan was notoriously ostracized by the school. Xiaolan has always been regarded as a girl with untidy clothes since primary school. I thought it was because her family was poor that she didn't pay attention to gfd every day. Later, I learned that her family was not very poor.
At that time, although she didn't look very clean, she was quite generous. I just heard a rumor that Xiaolan has done a lot of cheating, so the news spread and her reputation began to stink. I haven't seen it with my own eyes, so whether it's true or not depends on the judgment.
It's just that Xiaolan is sloppy, her grades are not good, and she is also rumored to do bad things, so some students begin to reject her, isolate her and even deliberately target her and make fun of her. Sometimes Xiaolan doesn't mind and lets the other person's sarcasm, but when she can't bear it, she will also swear at the other person's rude words. I don't know how she came over in those years, but the feeling of being gossiped is very unpleasant to others.
In fact, Xiaolan's mind is still quite good. I sat in front of her in junior high school. Once I went to physical education class, it was very hot, and my upper body was sweaty and my shirt was soaked. So Xiaolan sitting in the back manually fanned my back with a fan to keep me cool. I looked back at her and smiled and said thank you. She smiled at me.
Later, I went out to work in the society without graduating from junior high school. When she learned that she didn't come to school again, she thought, "Maybe she didn't have a good time at school these years. She has no friends, no one will care about her, and even many people will sneer at her. It is also a relief to drop out of school now. "
I haven't seen her since I dropped out of school. Just two years ago, I happened to see her head in class. The whole person has become brand-new, and people have become more refined and will dress up a lot.
She has been unpopular with her classmates in those years. After staying away from the school gossip, she let herself throw away the old layer of' hedgehog clothes' and live a new life. Up to now, maybe everyone knows how to attend classes, so she will be told in advance at every party, but after so many years, she has never appeared in our field of vision again. It's just that at least we all know that the girl who was once isolated has not sunk, but has been living well, which is enough.
-2-
Jun is my high school classmate. When he was a sophomore, he transferred from another school to our class. At first, he thought he was fine and had a good temper. It's just that somehow, most students in the class think he is so abrupt, because he always asks something we don't understand, and then he has a feeling of asking questions. As a result, after all kinds of strange signs appeared, some people gradually didn't want to sit at the same table with him, and didn't want to sit at his front and back tables. In fact, in the final analysis, they are afraid that he will do something inexplicable. Maybe it's a rejection.
There are not many boys in the class, but there are really few students who can talk to him and play with him. I remember he asked me questions and I explained them to him, but after each time, he always asked you countless "why". Over time, I began to get tired of his behavior, and I realized that sometimes exclusion and isolation really don't come out of thin air.
Besides asking questions about study, Jun always asks strange things, things that are hard to imagine. So, after a long time, everyone avoided him. Whenever a large group of boys are chatting in the corridor, Ah Jun sometimes goes out with them, just standing aside, unable to integrate into these small groups at all. But more often, he just sits in his position and does his own thing.
His behavior in the class is not as terrible as the isolation in the film and television drama, and there is no verbal attack on him. It's just that in a group, if you act like an outsider, it's bound to be difficult to have more languages in common with others.
At that time, I always thought, since it's all behind the desk, let's get along well, so I tried my best to help him answer any questions, and I had some episodes with him in the middle, but sometimes I couldn't stand it, so I would say something that might disgust him. So because of some contradictions, I almost became the kind of girl who simply "isolated" others. Later I realized that I was wrong and apologized to him. Sometimes he even laughs after listening to what I say, which makes his hair stand on end.
I had a little problem and apologized to him. After all, inside and outside the same class, I don't want to hate anything. Therefore, whenever I think of those stupid things before, I regret that I was too impulsive and feel sorry for his loneliness in class.
After graduation, he just disappeared out of thin air, did not join our class, and never contacted us again. Probably he doesn't even have a friend worth talking about here, and he doesn't have any souvenirs after graduation. And we don't know how he is now, whether he has made any friends or which way he chose after graduation.
-3-
I don't have much contact with these two classmates, but I can feel that when a person can't integrate into a class, when a person doesn't even have one or two small groups or even friends, their hearts are lonely or scared.
Like my two classmates, their grades are not excellent, but this is not the reason why they will be isolated. However, the biggest factor that causes them may be the so-called "unsociable". But it's not their fault that they don't fit in. After all, everyone's personality is different, and the degree of running-in will definitely be different. It's just that when we look at them from another angle, the saddest thing is ourselves. After all, we are not them. We simply don't understand the influence of "being different" on our mentality, and we don't know how serious "isolation" will be to a person's growth and life.
The isolation and exclusion of students' time has little consequences, which will bring some shadows to their growth, affect their self-confidence, calm tolerance and affect each other's circle of friends. In the worst case, it will lead to a person suffering from depression, even having no feelings about the world and rejecting people around him.
Isolation and exclusion is a common cold violence on campus, which is far more destructive to psychological attacks than action attacks and devours a person's healthy mentality. For example, because of isolation, choosing to drop out of school or not to integrate into the group is always unhappy, and eventually there are many cases that have evolved from trivial isolation to tragedy.
What we see is not only the isolation of some students in the class, but also the isolation of some minor contradictions caused by some living habits in the dormitory.
For example, we often hear the joke that six people in the dormitory got five WeChat groups, which clearly expresses how complicated the relationship between the dormitory groups is and how tired the isolated one is living in this dormitory that nobody likes for four years. The dormitory that should have relaxed itself has become a place of fear every day.
There will be isolation and exclusion everywhere in school, work and life, but what is the reason for this phenomenon? According to my understanding, I made the following summary.
In fact, no matter what kind of people will exist, isolation and exclusion sometimes do not last for a day or two, or there are personal factors, other people's factors, or bystanders can't see the truth of the matter. Therefore, in view of this phenomenon of isolation and exclusion, I would like to give the following suggestions to those isolated boys or girls.
Finally, I hope everyone will not isolate and exclude others for no reason.