What should I do if my boyfriend feels insecure inside?

In our usual cognition, the "sense of security" is like being exclusive to girls, and only girls need a sense of security. Because it is generally believed that girls are weak and protected by nature, while boys are strong and protected by nature, they do not need a sense of security.

But in fact, boys have the same demand for "security". They are human beings and have their own feelings and needs. When they pay for their girlfriends, they also need to be recognized and responded by their girlfriends. So what if the boyfriend is not insecure?

First, reflect on yourself.

Boys are insecure. Generally speaking, boys feel that girls don't care about themselves, their minds are not on him, or even love themselves.

For example, girls usually don't care much about boys' feelings. For example, girls often play with other boys in front of their boyfriends, whether they have boyfriends or not. Or often just eat, drink and have fun by yourself, without asking boys if they need it or bringing boys with them. Or when the boyfriend is in a bad mood and angry, the girl doesn't care, and he doesn't care about himself, which will make him feel unimportant.

Or he is not close enough to his boyfriend at ordinary times to make him feel like a boyfriend. For example, you don't hold hands when you go out, and you don't want to hug and kiss in other people's places, just like you don't want to open your boyfriend.

My boyfriend is the first case. He was single for too long before he fell in love, and suddenly he didn't like another person, so he often took care of himself. My boyfriend was a little depressed because I started here, and I didn't even notice. Suddenly one day he couldn't help telling me how he felt, and I realized that I really ignored him.

But most boys won't tell their girlfriends about it, or even hold back from telling you, so it's important to reflect on themselves first. If you really don't know what your problem is, you can choose the next step.

Second, talk.

You can sit down and talk together sometime. It's best to choose a place where there are only two of you, so that boys are willing to tell you their grievances. Otherwise, a good-looking boy will definitely not want to lose face in front of outsiders.

You can ask him how he is recently, whether he is not used to your relationship, and what needs to be improved, and I will tell him my own thoughts. Through heart-to-heart, I can understand why my boyfriend feels insecure.

Third, make changes.

Knowing the cause of boyfriend's insecurity, the next step is to prescribe the right medicine:

(1) Boys feel that they don't care about him at ordinary times.

Learn to pay more attention to boys, not all of them are just more than before. Girls are very careful creatures. As long as you pay more attention, you can find the differences and emotions of boys. Then comfort him when he is in a bad mood and coax him when he is angry. Let him know that you care about his emotions.

Then I usually buy delicious food and bring him one. Take him with you when you want to play. If it's cold, put on more clothes, take an umbrella when it rains, or bring more reminders. Although seemingly trivial, it can better reflect the concern for a person.

(2) Boys think he is dispensable, he is not like your boyfriend.

Sharing your life with him at ordinary times, no matter how trivial, is like keeping a diary. It is better to have a picture: "I went to the supermarket with xx today and bought a lot of things. How heavy! You can help me now. " "A little black dog was very proud and cute just now." He will gradually increase his sense of participation in your life and feel that he is particularly familiar with you and will open his heart.

Never say anything like breaking up, leaving, ending a quarrel, and never engage in cold violence, refuse to answer the phone or communicate. If you have a question, just say it, don't let him guess.

Usually hug him more, go out and hold hands, and suddenly kiss him. Then bask in your interaction in the circle of friends and take a group photo. Make him feel that you depend on him and like being with him.

Fourth, summary.

Although boys are usually careless, they actually have their own small thoughts and emotions, and they also hope that their loved ones care about and pay attention to themselves. But the dead duck is stubborn and unwilling to take the initiative. Therefore, girls can usually pay more attention to their boyfriends and bravely show their love to them.