First, the psychological characteristics of adolescence
1. Emotional characteristics of adolescence: Adolescent boys and girls are prone to fluctuations, which are bipolar, that is, sometimes they are cheerful, sunny, full of spring breeze, and sometimes they are sad, gloomy, painful and even furious, which can be described as "children's faces in June". Parents must be calm in this situation, otherwise conflicts will easily occur.
2. Characteristics of interpersonal communication in adolescence: Adolescent students gradually drift away from their families, have more contacts with peers and make like-minded students. They talk about everything, are inseparable, regard friendship as supreme, and even do anything for their friends. These behaviors are often difficult for parents to understand. They are just typical manifestations of psychological weaning, but they happen too quickly and parents are unprepared. At the same time, adolescence is the embryonic stage of sexual psychology, which shows that people begin to pay more attention to their own image, especially the evaluation of the opposite sex students, and try to communicate with the opposite sex. However, in the process of communication, their psychology becomes very complicated. On the one hand, they are eager to get close to each other, on the other hand, they are afraid of being discovered by others. In this way, the communication process is mysterious and shy, but it is embarrassing. Generally speaking, they don't really love each other, but they have the same language and like to communicate and appreciate each other. However, due to different performances, it becomes the talk of students. Once it is exaggerated by students, it becomes colored news, which makes the parties very embarrassed. In this way, the communication of a classmate of the opposite sex has caused a serious psychological burden, which directly affects the study and life. This is the distress of adolescence.
3. Emotional characteristics of adolescence: During this period, teenagers' emotions expanded from the initial love for relatives to the reverence and follow-up for classmates, teachers, stars, scientists and leaders, and from self-love to the love for the collective, hometown, people, motherland and all mankind; In other words, teenagers' emotions fully reflect sociality; At this time, their moral values have also changed. They worship successful people and celebrities, hate bad people and pursue fairness and justice. Once someone is found to have selfish distractions, they will sneer at it, because people and things with different opinions can't be compromised and accommodated in real life, so they are easily hurt.
4. The thinking characteristics of adolescence: thinking is a senior psychological activity of human beings, and the abstract thinking of junior high school students begins to develop, and they can generalize and summarize general problems through phenomena; In high school, logical thinking and creative thinking developed rapidly. They can consider problems from different angles, multi-dimensional and three-dimensional, and find out the essence and laws through synthesis, analysis and reasoning. So at this stage, they are argumentative, like asking questions, dare to challenge teachers and parents, and show that newborn calves are not afraid of tigers; However, sometimes due to lack of communication skills, it is easy to encounter setbacks.
In short, the psychology of adolescence can be described as a period of flurry. They are full of enthusiasm and ambition, but also full of idealism and lack of understanding of reality. Because of their ambitions and ideals, they are ambitious, daydreaming, but the reality can easily make them disheartened and even worried.
Teenagers spend their time in this contradiction and bitterness, and their family is their safe haven. If parents are considerate, reasonable, caring and supportive, then adolescence can be passed smoothly; On the contrary, families are fragmented, parents turn against each other, and teenagers are extremely vulnerable. Without favorable support and help, they are easily tempted by unhealthy social gangs and go astray.
Second, the contradictory adolescent psychology.
1, the contradiction between independence and dependence
The most prominent psychological feature of teenagers is their sense of adulthood, which enhances their sense of independence. If they are gradually unwilling to be taken care of or interfered by their parents in life, they will be bored psychologically; When judging the merits of some things, they are unwilling to listen to their parents' opinions and have a strong desire to express their opinions; If you disagree with some traditional and authoritative conclusions, you will often make radical criticisms. However, due to the lack of social experience and life experience, he often runs into a wall and has to look for methods, ways or help from his parents. In addition, he can't be independent economically, and the authoritative role of his parents forces him to rely on his parents.
2. The contradiction between the sense of adulthood and the sense of childishness.
The outstanding psychological feature of teenagers is the sense of adulthood-thinking that they have matured and grown into an adult. Therefore, in some behavioral activities, thinking understanding, social interaction and other aspects, it shows the demeanor of adults. Psychologically, I long for others to treat him as an adult, respect him and understand him. However, due to the limitation of age, social experience, life experience and knowledge, they tend to be blind in thinking and behavior, easy to do stupid things, and obviously naive.
3. The contradiction between opening and closing.
Teenagers need to communicate with peers, especially with the opposite sex and parents on an equal footing. They are eager for others to open their hearts to each other like themselves. But because everyone's personality and ideas are different, I can't find someone to release this desire, so I have to say it in my diary. The truth written in these diaries, because of self-esteem, does not want to be known by others, so it has formed the ambivalence of wanting to be known by others and being afraid of being known by others.
4. The contradiction between desire and depression.
Teenagers have a desire to communicate with the opposite sex because of their mature sexual development. For example, I like to be close to the opposite sex, want to know about sexual knowledge, like to show myself in front of the opposite sex, and even have hazy love ideas. However, due to the constraints and restrictions of schools, parents and public opinion, teenagers are in a state of depression and contradiction in their emotional and sexual understanding, and they are both eager to express themselves and embarrassed to express them.
5. The contradiction between self-control and impulse
Teenagers' consciousness and self-control have been strengthened while their psychological independence and sense of adulthood have emerged. In the interaction with others, they subjectively hope that they can consciously abide by the rules and do their best, but objectively it is often difficult to control their emotions well, and sometimes they act rashly, which makes them fall into the contradiction of strong self-control but impulsive.
It is in this contradiction that adolescent psychology is formed and gradually matured, which is a natural process. Parents should pay attention to respect and trust their children, exchange feelings with them more, understand their psychology, and help them arrange their lives fully and meaningfully.
Third, how do parents respond?
It should be said that the changes of teenagers are the inevitable result of the physiological and psychological development of adolescence and the normal performance of teenagers in the process of changing from immature to mature. If children have similar "problems", parents should maintain a peaceful attitude and guide their children with a positive attitude, scientific knowledge and correct methods.
★ Understand and accept children. A series of physical and mental changes of children are unexpected and difficult to control. At this time, parents' understanding and acceptance are especially needed. Never see some changes in your child, or shout and panic when you find his abnormal behavior, let alone scold and accuse him. Otherwise, it will only aggravate children's rebellious psychology and increase the gap with their parents.
★ Be a child's friend. The biggest wish of adolescent children is to be respected, independent, treated as adults and treated equally. This requires parents to change their roles and educational concepts, and change one-way education from commanding to equal and exploratory two-way education. From simply caring about children's daily life to guiding children's development and growth, we strive to become children's mentors. According to the survey, more than 90% teenagers will talk to their friends when they encounter difficulties, instead of their parents and teachers. Most children who pass adolescence smoothly have a good family atmosphere and a harmonious relationship between mother and child.
Four, seven manifestations of adolescent mental health
Adolescence is a transitional period from childhood to adulthood, and there are many physical and psychological changes, such as emotional fluctuations, love for the opposite sex, and easy transfer of interests. Whether teenagers' mental health is mainly reflected in the following seven aspects:
Similar to others, people are also similar. When you hear the moon, it's normal to think of the sun or stars. But when it comes to death, it's hard to understand. If this happens frequently, we should pay attention to whether his mental state is normal. If a person's ideas, manners, hobbies, clothes, etc. They are all too different from others, so his psychology may not be healthy enough.
The behavior of school-age people changes with the development of body and mind. People of different ages have different ideas, interests and behaviors. Adolescence should be energetic and positive. However, from the perspective of mental health, young and mature students are actually unhealthy.
Be good at getting along with people. Everyone lives in society and is a member of it. One can't exist alone without society. Puberty, social scope expanded. In communication, we should learn from each other's strengths, cultivate the spirit of mutual assistance and cooperation, enrich the group life experience and exercise the ability to adapt to others.
An optimistic, enterprising and cheerful mood indicates mental health. An optimistic person is aggressive in everything and is not afraid of any difficulties. Even if you encounter unfortunate things, you can quickly re-adapt and not be depressed for a long time. On the contrary, people who are sentimental and often depressed are psychologically unhealthy. Moreover, the lower the mood, the heavier the degree of mental unhealthy.
Moderate reaction everyone reacts to things at different speeds and degrees. But the difference won't be too big. If he overreacts, it means that he is mentally unhealthy. It is normal for students to be unhappy for a period of time because of their failure in the exam; But if he doesn't eat for a few days, or even has suicidal thoughts, then he may be mentally unhealthy. Of course, students who are indifferent to exam failure may not be psychologically healthy.
Anyone who is mentally healthy in the face of reality can face the reality. When encountering difficulties, they always have the courage to admit the reality, find out the problems and try to solve them. On the contrary, people who are mentally unhealthy often adopt escapist methods because they can't adapt to the environment. These can't solve practical problems, but can only achieve the effect of self-deception, which will develop into a pathological condition over time.
People with logical thinking and mental health are step-by-step, methodical, conscientious and have the determination and perseverance to overcome difficulties, rather than half-hearted and endless. They think logically and speak clearly, instead of rambling and forgetting what they said.
Verb (abbreviation of verb) psychological exploration in adolescence
Physiologists and psychologists have done a lot of research on the physiological and psychological changes in adolescence.
Psychologist Si Long believes that when an individual enters adolescence, his psychological changes are: "self-discovery"; "generate ideas for future life"; "I started to get involved in all areas of life." Therefore, he called adolescence "the second birth of life".
Psychologist Hollinghouse believes that the physiological and psychological changes after puberty are similar to the phenomenon of weaned children. Weaning of young children means complete separation from the mother's body. Due to the drastic and complete cessation of breastfeeding, children fall into desire and are not satisfied, which brings deep anxiety to children. This is the first crisis in life. When a child enters adolescence, it means getting rid of psychological dependence on his parents. This sharp and thorough psychological weaning will also bring them sudden temporary anxiety and emotional excitement and turmoil, which is the "second crisis" of life. After the "second crisis", people can gradually step out of the guardianship of their parents and move towards an independent and complete person. Therefore, he called adolescence the "second crisis" of life.
Psychologist Tom Leeds believes that childhood is an "external acquisition era" and adolescence is an "internal acquisition era". Due to the start of sexual instinct, people gradually turn their attention to their own interior. In the early youth, they are often troubled because they can't master this change. In the past, the calm heart of childhood was disturbed and fell into denial and anxiety characterized by resistance, indifference, rudeness, neglect and changefulness. They have adopted a "negative" attitude not only to the outside world but also to themselves. Therefore, he called adolescence "denial period" or "resistance period".
Psychologist Hall believes that in adolescence, people's "body and mind are very different from before, and the development trend is jumping. They suddenly realized that they had a sense of social responsibility and a new love life. " They don't know the world, and they don't know the psychological changes brought about by their physical development. "Therefore, he called adolescence" crisis period ". Psychologist Getter called it "stormy period" and psychologist Kuyt called it "stormy period".
Psychologist Lu believes that adolescence is a "transitional period from heteronomy to self-discipline" and a "crossroads of life" period.
In short, adolescence is a period of great changes in all aspects of body and mind, as well as a period of extensive energy and interests and full of illusions about life. Physiologically, the body develops rapidly and matures; Psychologically, it is the gradual awakening of the spirit. This time difference between body and mind has brought sharp, complex, extensive and profound psychological contradictions and psychological turmoil. Therefore, it is the most critical turning point in life.
Adolescent sex education: a long way to go
The rise and rapid development of adolescent sex education is the inevitable result of the development of modern education, but its establishment has a tortuous process of endless debate, which is mainly manifested in three aspects: ① People who hold the view of "self-teaching without teachers" think that children will naturally know that it is not necessary to wake them up for sex education when they grow up. People who hold the view of "self-learning without teachers" believe that sex is one of the most basic biological characteristics of human beings. The gender difference between sex and animals is not simply the physical combination of the two sexes. It is characterized by humanization, civilization and socialization. In order to adapt the code of conduct for men and women to social needs and moral requirements, sex education must be carried out to cultivate correct sexual concepts, rather than "self-learning without teachers." Those who hold the view of "closed protection" think that teenagers should not be taught sexual knowledge by language, while those who hold the view of "adaptive education" think that teenagers are developing. Education is the only way of life. It is natural that people will have a desire for sexual knowledge and a yearning for the opposite sex because of sexual maturity. With the growth of age, it is normal to communicate with the opposite sex, regardless of people's wishes. It is in line with the needs of nature and society to carry out sexual knowledge, psychology and morality education in adolescence. If the correct sexual knowledge is closed, it will not only fail to protect, but will make teenagers accept one-sided specious and pornographic content from other channels, which will hinder them. 3. Induce and guide the healthy development of teenagers. People who hold the view of "inducement" believe that sex education will lead to sexual stimulation, but it will play a role in inducing promiscuity. It's not too late to re-educate with "questions". People who hold the view of "guidance" believe that teenagers' sexual deviance is by no means induced by receiving correct education. On the contrary, sex education and sexual stimulation are not difficult to distinguish from pornography. Obscene content is completely opposite to pornographic content, which deliberately arouses sexual desire. Images of pornographic descriptions and promiscuous behaviors make people too excited to control themselves because of strong sexual excitement, and induce teenagers to lose their minds and commit crimes against humanity. The content of sex education tells teenagers objectively that the scientific knowledge they must master can let them know how to deal with their sexual problems rationally. If problems are found, it will be very difficult to correct them through education, and it will take many times to restore the damaged physical and mental health.
The emergence of adolescent confusion
The reason for the confusion in adolescence is that during adolescence, the brain grows rapidly, and many new dendrites and axons do not share the work, so many signals are confused or even lost, so that we are troubled by many problems. At the same time, the frontal lobe is gradually formed, and our personality is completely plasticized, so the experience of adolescence will have a great impact on the whole life afterwards.