Mr. Qian Zhongshu once said: Before you, I never wanted to get married. I haven't thought about anyone since I met you. His marriage with Ms. Jiang Yang is the envy of countless people, and I believe many people also hope that they can meet the other half of their lives. But in today's fast-paced society, love has also become a luxury. How to judge that you are in a healthy love, and how to talk about a stable and long-term love?
First of all, healthy love has the following characteristics:
1, the two sides get love in their feelings, instead of consuming them with love.
I believe many couples have such troubles. They were very sweet when they started dating, but after a while they began to quarrel and contradict each other. Finally, both sides feel that their love for each other is getting less and less, and they are getting more and more tired in their feelings and don't want to continue. This is an emotional consumption.
In fact, when we are in love, we always ask each other to achieve what we expect. Kidnapping each other in the name of love will only lead to emotional exhaustion.
A truly healthy relationship should be that both parties have the ability to get love and be loved from a relationship, instead of worrying about whether the other party still loves me now, they have the courage to love someone first. If you feel loved after this relationship, or have the firm strength to love someone, then this relationship is benign.
2. Both sides solve problems, not people.
When two people get along, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions. The solution after quarrel and contradiction can judge whether the two are in a benign relationship. Cold violence after encountering problems, belittling each other, making excessive emotional behaviors, and expressing their dissatisfaction by shouting and quarreling are all just emotional venting.
If you just vent your emotions and don't want to solve the problem, there will still be contradictions in this matter next time. Therefore, after encountering problems, it is very important for both parties to be willing to seriously solve the problems and communicate after the contradictions occur.
Some people never solve problems, encounter contradictions or escape or vent their emotions. We need to know that our quarrel is just that we have different views on this matter, not that we no longer love each other. Everyone gets emotional sometimes. Many people want to change objects directly, but without the ability to solve problems, the next object will repeat the same mistakes. After the conflict and quarrel, hug each other, express love, express needs, learn to solve problems, and feelings need to be managed.
3, to understand each other, empathy.
A benign relationship should be mutual understanding and tolerance. Now many jokes are being told, the man needs to pay more, and he needs to accommodate his girlfriend without a bottom line. This is the perfect love. But if a relationship wants to last, it needs the joint efforts of both sides.
One party is willing to tell about his hard work and fatigue and expose the most vulnerable side to the other party; On the other hand, the other party is willing to understand and support, willing to listen, and is distressed by the sad things that the other party encounters. Both sides will show their softest side, and when they are sad, they can have hugs and encouragement from their loved ones and become each other's support and backing. I believe this relationship will last longer.
In this life, it is not unusual for people to meet love and sex. What is rare is to meet and get to know each other. I hope that lovers will get married and maintain a healthy relationship for a long time.