Puppy love is a unique emotional experience of some middle school students in adolescence. Middle school students have entered the puberty stage of life, and their emotions have begun to grow together, and they have a vague feeling about love. But the middle school stage is the golden age of life and a good stage of learning. If our students can't correctly understand the relationship between the two, they will eventually suffer the consequences. Therefore, teachers should correctly guide students to study hard and correctly treat and deal with the problem of puppy love among adolescent students.
First, the reasons for middle school students' puppy love behavior:
1, a normal phenomenon in the development process
Psychological research shows that after adolescents enter adolescence, with the changes of sexual physiology, sexual psychology will inevitably undergo complex changes. In middle school, from the age of thirteen to seventeen, life experienced a "rebirth" and thought accepted a "weaning". The germination and gradual maturity of middle school students' sexual physiology have changed their sexual psychology, which not only produces freshness in adolescence, but also produces physiological impulse and desire for experience. They begin to pay attention to the opposite sex, get close to the opposite sex, and are prone to affection and pursuit, resulting in puppy love.
2. The role of changing ideas.
Now some middle school students are attacked by some bad influences in society, so they are easily tempted by unhealthy consciousness. Faced with the temptation of debauchery, the stimulation of film and television, the rendering of novels and the negative influence of adult disorderly behavior, this has formed the characteristics of "precocious body and immature mind" of middle school students in the new period. Boys and girls are prone to "puppy love" because of their adjacent seats, similar personalities or similar hobbies, and some are close to each other because of their attractive appearance.
3. Lack of correct guidance from parents.
Nowadays, many parents are busy making a living all day and have little time to care about what their children watch and listen to. I don't have much time to exchange thoughts and feelings with them, speak my mind and give positive guidance. Many parents often look at the report card, leave some RMB and go out in a hurry. Middle school students who are not so strong in distinguishing right from wrong have limited immunity after all, and often cannot be effectively protected and guided by their parents. ? Students who invest too much in love often have certain family reasons-parents have bad feelings, family atmosphere is tense, and they can't get the warmth they deserve in the family; Or the communication between parents and children is not smooth, and the children can't get enough understanding and support. Some middle school students fall in love prematurely, essentially seeking an emotional compensation.
4, vanity, showing off psychological drive.
It is understandable that middle school students yearn for a beautiful love life, but some students prematurely or inappropriately regard who finds the object first and whose friends are beautiful as the capital to show off. On campus, some students hope that many boys or girls will chase after them to show their beautiful and chic vanity and show off their psychology.
Second, the characteristics and types of puppy love among middle school students
Puppy love behavior of middle school students has the following characteristics:
1, age decline, advanced grade, vague will;
I don't know the difference between love and friendship;
3. blindness;
4. Concealed;
5. Excitement and impulsiveness;
6. Too beautification and infatuation with each other;
7. Emotions are changeable, inseparable and moody.
……
There are eight types of puppy love: adoration, curiosity, imitation, conformity, pleasure, compensation, anti-transformation and morbid.
Third, the harm of puppy love among middle school students.
Puppy love among middle school students is the result of the interaction between students' psychology and family, school life and social atmosphere. Puppy love is a bitter fruit wrapped in sugar, so what are the dangers of puppy love?
1, affecting study and life
In the process of puppy love, middle school students are often inattentive, their grades drop, and their studies are ignored, which affects their studies and is not conducive to the growth of teenagers.
For example, a girl of 16 years old in a school got excellent grades when she first entered school. Because I have a good impression on a male classmate in my class, I soon fell in love, missed class, and dated after school. As a result, the academic performance dropped sharply in less than one semester, and finally he did not enter high school.
2. Affect your health.
Lovers often have the feeling of "not seeing Sanqiu for a day", always thinking about each other, and even "pining for you". People who are lovelorn are even worse. They often don't eat or drink and don't want to sleep. They look listless, and middle school students are in the golden age of growth, which will damage the normal development of the body. Some even develop sexual relations, which is a devastating blow to middle school students with incomplete physical development. If something happens, it will affect their normal life in the future.
3. Affect mental health.
In the process of puppy love, there will inevitably be contradictions and conflicts, which will make puppy lovers struggle in the dual choice of emotion and morality all the time. They dare not face up to reality, or avoid thinking, or pretend that they are happy, or even show off themselves to others, which will create obstacles to dual personality.
Most of the puppy love will go away, which will cause frustration to both parties who have failed in love, and will also bury many hidden dangers for the truly sweet love life in the future.
A joint study by experts from Cornell University and the University of North Carolina pointed out that no matter whether these teenagers really have a specific love object or are infatuated with someone, they may suffer from depression, alcoholism and other mental diseases in the future because they don't know how to deal with this relationship.
4. Affect thoughts and outlook on life.
Puppy lovers often define their behavior as love, but they don't know that love is a kind of deprivation and deprivation. Once you choose this one, you lose the right to choose another one. Middle school students' ideas and outlook on life are not stereotyped and easy to change. Girls' feelings for themselves are often big and sensible. Once they fall in love, they are easily tempted by sweet words and rely on each other's trust, losing their innocence. The boy's psychological image is in a mature stage and very unstable. The change of psychological image will produce new and never-satisfied needs, which will inevitably lead to psychological discomfort. In addition, with the deepening of communication, the aura of each other will be dim and pale; Many people just want to have some fun in puppy love, but once they want to escape from it, they will feel betrayed and make students anxious again.
5. Affect the class collective
Lovers don't care about class activities and affect other students. There is no love for no reason in the world. It takes time and energy to maintain, and it needs to be exchanged at the expense of neglecting studies, losing friendship, reducing cooperation with team members and paying personal mental health.
6, harm to society and family
In order to please lovers, but also suffering from the lack of economic strength to support their domineering, to satisfy their vanity, desperate to steal, kill, rob; Jealousy, fighting; Or madly retaliate against society and others because of lovelorn love. ...
Fourth, correctly prevent and treat puppy love among middle school students.
The harm of puppy love is so great, so how to prevent this kind of behavior? How to help adolescent boys and girls get through the dangerous period smoothly? I think we can start from the following aspects.
1, the harm of puppy love should be pointed out by positive reasoning and heuristic induction. Educate students to learn to vent and transfer. The so-called catharsis is to tell your distress to the person you trust most, get it off your chest quickly, or take it out in your diary to relieve psychological pressure. The so-called transfer is to enrich one's life, pay more attention to state affairs, participate in group activities, put oneself in the group and make more friends, make life colorful and concentrate on study. It is best to use analogy, "the origin is doomed, and destiny takes a hand", so that students can actively transfer their puppy love psychology to healthy activities such as learning.
2. Educate them on adolescent sexual health to eliminate the mystery of the opposite sex.
Teachers should conduct adolescent sexual health education for middle school students, paying attention to not exaggerating, describing or vulgar, so that students can understand the necessary knowledge of adolescent sexual physiology and psychological changes, help children uncover the mysterious veil, eliminate the "mystery" and understand the harm of "puppy love". ? 3. Help students to establish a correct view of love, so that they can understand that they can't just talk about feelings, but also have' house and bread', and understand that love is not only mutual attraction, but more importantly, a responsibility. For students who are deeply in love, we should be kind and kind, pay more attention to their study and life, and give them proper understanding with support therapy. At the same time, we should warn them that school rules, ethics and laws are not allowed, and the economy cannot stand on its own feet, especially pointing out that if this goes on, it will often lead to loss of virginity or stumble, resulting in lifelong regret.
4. Help students correctly understand the difference between having a good impression, wanting to communicate and puppy love, and guide adolescent children to communicate normally. Tell them to be clear about their attitude towards students of the opposite sex, be generous in their speech and behavior, and prevent too close contact.
We should guide middle school students to sublimate their emotions. Since the motivation of middle school students to fall in love basically comes from the need of emotional communication, there are many ways to meet this need. "Falling in love" is not the only thing, nor is it the best choice for middle school students. Middle school has its specific tasks-learning culture, strengthening social accomplishment and learning more skills, so as to embark on a broad life path. It is unwise to immerse yourself in love and neglect your studies. After all, "love can carry a boat or overturn it." Many middle school students only see the side of the opposite sex that makes them move, and often fail to see a "beautiful trap" buried in it; Therefore, it is also important to guide them to learn to look at their emotions in two ways.
6. Strive to build a serious, lively and positive school spirit and class collective. Prevention and control, just like people's health, to enhance resistance, we need to have a good physical foundation first, and then we need to "inoculate" to improve immunity. For students, a good body is nothing more than a good school spirit and a class group full of vigor, unity and friendship. Living in such a group, they will feel full, meaningful and warm everywhere. We should strive to form a situation of unity and friendship, advocate the development of pure friendship between men and women, and help each other in life, which is conducive to the formation of students' good character and personality.
7, to get in touch with parents in time, cooperate with each other, to persuade parents not to hurt their children's self-esteem, don't take excessive behavior such as beating and cursing. After the conversation, pay attention to observation, give students time to think and judge, decide whether to break up or not, prepare what to talk about next time, and don't rush to solve the problem. Teachers and parents should let students know that the reason why they want to educate students who are puppy love is not because they regard puppy love as a sin, but because they care about students. We should have an equal heart-to-heart conversation with students, so that students can understand that teachers and parents understand, care and cherish them, think about their future life and happiness, and let them accept education willingly.
In short, the educational countermeasures should be based on promoting the psychological and physical maturity of middle school students, and through various effective methods, they can get rid of the interference of puppy love, promote their long-term healthy development, concentrate on their studies and improve their ability. I believe that as long as the methods are proper and the measures are effective, it will definitely help adolescent students to get through the confusion period.