The word "from a family" may have a stinging pain for some people, such as Dong Qing.
Although some pain may not be forgotten, we must face it bravely and face it directly in order to grow better. Pain brings not only harm, but also stronger repair ability. Restore the strength of my true self to heal and bid farewell to the trauma of my past family background, transcend the pain brought by my family background and get out of my inner trauma.
You are innocent. It's not your fault that you were born in a family, but it's your responsibility to get out of it. Wu Kui in Dongye has a saying,
Everyone has their own past. It is not terrible to have pain. The terrible thing is that he has pain in his heart but doesn't know it. He can only be at his mercy and resigned to his fate. Many people's past has long been a bad asset, and the curse from the family has been accompanied by their growth until adulthood. In the process of growing up, they still can't handle the relationship with family of origin well, so they are scarred and even present the pain brought by family of origin in their existing family life. With the growth of age and experience, they accumulate not useful wisdom, but limitations and various pasts. The reason why they can't start a new life and a new future is because they are limited by various pasts. If they don't say goodbye to the past, how can they face the future?
Acceptance is a positive recognition of reality, that you have suffered from family of origin's trauma, that family of origin and his parents have their own limitations, and that you have complex feelings such as hatred, love, anger, shame, pain and depression towards family of origin, parents and yourself. In the experience of acceptance, you can allow yourself to laugh and mourn for your lost childhood, feel sorry for yourself who has been hurt in the past, and feel angry for the people or actions that have hurt you. No longer stick to what happened in the past, and no longer worry about what will happen in the future, but live in the present and experience the emotions, thoughts and situations of the present.
Those who persuade you to continue to get along with your parents under the banner of "kindness" will not bear the pain and suffering of getting along with your parents instead of you, nor will they live a life full of pressure, fear and even danger. If you ignore your true feelings because of the pressure of social environment, cater to the secular vision at the expense of physical and mental health, and continue to get along with your parents, you are pushing yourself back into pain.
We should realize that no matter what kind of living environment we live in, we have the highest right to make choices for our own lives. Although being born in a family has shaped your past to a great extent, it can never bind your present and future. As the sole masters of our own lives, each of us has the right and ability to get rid of the shackles of family of origin's trauma and embrace a true, healthy and beautiful life. Only the true inner strength can lead us out of the most painful quagmire of life and live our own life.
Lu Xun has a famous saying: A true warrior dares to face a bleak life. Saying goodbye to the past requires the courage of a strong man to break his wrist. It is the warrior who comes out of pain.
You can't find your true self in the past. Only by changing one's life mode, completing the journey of rebirth, reconciling with one's past self and deducing a brand-new life experience can one find one's true self and natural spiritual freedom.